Hi guys! 

So something happened today and I just wanted to let off some of my bottled up thoughts here. as you may have noticed, I'm someone who very much doesn't like expressing herself freely in turns of what I feel and think. I don't like showing to people how weak I may be, and I hate it when they see me cry. That's like a taboo for me and when it happens I'm either really embarassed or ashamed about it, although they tell you not to be because blablabla everyone is weak sometimes and it's good to let it out. 

I bet I'm not the only one that bottles up all her frustrations and her anger or negative feelings. A lot of people do. But that's the problem with doing it. The problem is that people tend to believe you are stronger than what you really are. People believe you're always this happy-go-lucky individual that can take so much as laughing, being teased at and even the victim of insulting jokes. Sure, it might be funny in the spur of the moment, but then, what happens? Do you even consider what mental or psychological insecurities you're creating for that particular person? 

It happens to me a lot on a personal level, specially when I'm always bouncing with energy and acting funny and foolish...Hey, it's part of enjoying your daily boring routine right? But people expect you to be too much, too strong, and when you have to break down, you can't because you've already painted this facet of yourself in their minds. 

It's not like we all do it on purpose, it's just an automatic reaction of wanting to fit in and be part of a group. 

But when you're all alone, and you think back on what happened and what bruised your armor, you can't hold on anymore. You have to let it out. 

The tears that have accumulated and built up over the days, months, years even...they are bound to come out at one point. there is so much one can take. 

I don't know if I'm just rambling nonsense here (which might be the case cause it's like midnight here oops xD) and don't take it the wrong way if ever i offended anyone because it wasn't my point. I also don't want you guys to think that I'm having issues and worry because I am very much fine and coping, however we all know that we have our weak moments when you're sad just because you feel it, even when you don't know why.  But what I want to say is that, whenever you feel like you have to cry, to release that inner beast painfully lashing at your heart chambers and to appease whatever thoughts and emotions you are probably going through...let it out. I've spent years crying in a dark corner, muffling my sobs to make sure that no one heard me and spending ages to wipe my face and clean my snot so that no one would doubt the bruises that scar my heart. But I learnt that it doesn't help, to cry and control the sounds you make, feeling ashamed that you're crying or feeling as if you're pathetic for crying due to a silly thing in the first place. Don't. Don't ever think that crying happens for silly things. We cry because we care, we cry because we're human and we feel. It's normal, it's part of what makes up our souls, our feelings. Without crying, there'd be no way to escape from the harsh critiques, from the challenges and obstacles you face. Once you feel better after crying your soul out, you're readier than ever, you get stronger and put plasters all over yourself so that you can face it again, this time with determination. 

So don't hold it in, whatever happens. If you want to cry, then cry, nobody has the right to stop you and say 'hey, that's a stupid reason to cry'. 

And I'm not talking about the fake crying with just tears rolling down your face in an attempt to look actress-good (haha) but really, let your sobs, your shaking shoulders, your hiccups and everything that comes with out echo to the world. Why do you have to hide your sadness when it's consuming you from inside out? Darling, let this emotion drown you because as soon as you're done with pouring everything out, then you will find that nothing can stop you, no one will be able to face it like you'd be able to. 

Wow, deep stuff right there oops. I didn't meant to bring down your mood if ever you were in a happy, very bouncy one. I'm sorry if I affected it, but right here is my home, it's where I can actually let out what I really feel :) Please don't take it the wrong way if ever I mentioned something that might insult someone, I didn't mean it. I don't even know if my blog rant made sense xD Okay wellllll~ I just hope it does lol xD 

have a nice day/night! <3 Look out for a new chappie from "Drawing the Line", hint hint, i'm nearly done with it ;) !! xx

Chu!~