So for the past months, I've been on and off writing and I start something and then never finish it. My writing mood can go up to 100 down to zero in a snap of a finger and I couldn't find the right mood most of the time. I used to be the author that posted a chapter per day or at least a few days after the last update but now there's just ZERO. All day I've had 3 Microsoft word windows open because I have three unfinished chapters for three of my current fanfics posted. I'm so frustrated I cannot write! Not because I don't know what to write, because I do! The thing is, I always end up staring at it and then a sad, tragic lovestory comes up in mind and then I start constructing that and when it gets too sad, I lose my mood to write ANYTHING at all.

It would sound weird but maybe this is the effect of the ing break-up. I mean I'm so bitter about it and I still keep writing and ranting about it. But as days pass, I don't miss the relationship. I miss the person I was before the relationship even existed. I mean, writing has been a big part of me and I never go a day without writing one chapter of every story I have posted in here. But then at one point, I lost that part of me because I was too busy being "in love" and being in a "relationship" until it crushed me emotionally that now I feel like I'm crawling back to my old self.

I would say it's sad...but I think I've had enough self pity. It's been three months. I just want to be back to the old me. The me I was before meeting that . I just want to write again and enjoy reading what people think about it! I just want to fangirl so much again and feel like watching videos of my bias would literally end my life! I just want to be ME again. Because I miss me.

To the girl I was before, come back...I miss you.

And once again, this is the dramatic blog post of a frustrated writer. Lmao.