Hi. My name is Mick. I live in Bangkok, I moved few months ago (before I lived in a small town in Northern Thailand). My mom enrolled me to the all boys school where I’m trying to acclimate. It’s not easy though. Asking why? Well, I’m shy. I’m different. And I am gay.

Friday, I finished my last class at Friday College and I’m heading home  (and I am really happy!) to tell my mom that I got into school music club. Today was auditions for 9^th graders. I always loved music. Everyday after school I sit on the balcony with earphones inside my ears, I relax and cutting myself off from the world and just think. Also I’ve always wanted to play in a band or in a club. And now my dream is coming true. I play French horn, though I’m not so good at it, that’s why the music club vice president P’Ohm agreed to teach me.

I arrived home and greeted my mom.

“Sawadee krub, Ma”

“Sawadee ka, sweetheart. Hungry, how was the day in school?”

“I got myself into the school music club, ma!” I said with a grin.

“Oh, that’s really great, you see, I told you that you can make it, I always knew what talented son I’ve got. I’m so proud of you, baby!” Mom messed up my hair. I hate it, though people say I’m “so  cute” with messed up hair :P. I don’t get it and I hate it anyway.

I ate dinner and head upstairs to take care of my homework. Before that, of course I check my phone, Facebook, Kakao, Line (normal teen routine in these days, I bet you also do that 1000 times a day, pff, even did it just before reading this story :D) and I was surprised seeing two unread kakao messages from unknown number.

584341999:

Hey Mickey Mouse

584341999:

Don’t forget about our horn lesson tomorrow morning

Mick:

P’Ohm krub? Where did u get my kakao?

Mick:

And yes of course I remember!

P’Ohm:

From Film, ur husband :P

Mick:

WHAT?? He is not my husband!

P’Ohm:

Yeach yeah, just messing with u

P’Ohm:

Anyway, be tomorrow at 9 in my house.

Mick:

Ok. See u tomorrow then

P’Ohm:

See u :P

P’Ohm is a cool guy. He is always strict when it comes to his underclassmen (And I’m glad because everybody are always treating me like a little kid and are afraid of scolding me etc. That’s why I’m glad that P’Ohm will teach me.) but with his buddies he just likes to joke and mess around.

I already liked his personality at the auditions. I told you guys I’m gay, right? It means I should like boys. P’Ohm is a boy (He really is, you know :P) and I can tell that he is handsome. Tall, short buzz cut hair, a little tanned. Yup, he is really handsome (but not in the cute type, he looks manly. I am the cute one here :P). I wonder if P’Ohm has a girlfriend. A person with his looks.. I think he has.

Next morning I woke up and look at the clock. Oh no. It’s 8:30 AM, what mean I will be late to the first horn lesson with the vice president.

After getting ready finally I managed to get a cab.

When I got to P’Ohm’s place, he was already waiting outside of house.

“P’Ohm  krub! I’m sorry, the traffic was horrible.” I’m embarrassed and afraid that he don’t want to teach me anymore.

“Yeah, yeah”  P’Ohm sighs. “Try to be on time the next time”

“Yes, I’m so sorry” I’m relieved that he is not that angry.

“Come on, let’s not waste any more time.” We head inside and sit.

“What made you decide to have me teach you this?” P’Ohm asked all of sudden “I can get pretty strict, ya know” 

“That’s what everybody says, P’!” I said with a grin.

“And you still want me to teach you even if you know that?”

Funny. This is the actual reason I decided to be his student. Why everyone find it so strange?

“To be honest, you’re the only person who is willing to scold me. Usually, everyone coddles me and refuses  to let me work too hard” I said frankly, looked him in the eyes and put my hand on his knee.  “But yesterday at the auditions, you told them not to help me. You were the first person who ever said something like that to me. Thanks for believing in me..”

“What the heck are you thanking me for?? Alright…” P’Ohm looked at my hand. I realized what I was doing, I blushed and take back my hand.  “Let’s  start our lesson”

I was blowing the horn, the sound was horrible. I see music club president staring at me and I can’t blow properly. Why does it has to be so awkward??

“Hold on, Mick. What are you doing? Remember what I taught you.”

I blow once again and hear even more terrible sound. Like a dying, sick dinosaur.

“Higher! Higher!” I try to make it higher but in the result I play sound of dying grandma. So embarrassing. “Higher, Mick!”

I tensed so much that the new sound wasn’t similar to any creature that I know.

“Hey! Seriously! Are you tone deaf?”

“I’m sorry. I will try harder” I said sadly.  I really wanted to play well, Really wanted him to like it, and I was just doing opposite.  Next hard blow remind a bit of a fart of elephant. My God, please, I must show him I can do this. I will die soon. P’Ohm now got irritated.

“Just stop! Are you actually trying or not?!”  I glance at him frightened.

“You told me you’d try your best and this is the best you can do?” He scold me and I feel my eyes go wet slowly. “How many times have I told you this? I said to blow it in higher note.”

I blow again so hard but it doesn’t better. I’m trying to stop tears but not it’s not working. I feel my cheek wet and I put down the horn and look for a handkerchief. P’Ohm is actually see me crying. It’s the end, I’m no one in his eyes now, for sure.

“Hey, Mick..” He put his hand at my shoulder “I… didn’t mean to..”

“It’s ok, P’. Don’t mind me. My tears started falling on their own. I’m going to do this.”

After I calmed down, I tried again. We practice 30 minutes more and it was getting a bit better.

We finished and I was about to leave.

“Well, you don’t really have to walk with me do the front of your house, you know?”

“Noo… Why did you say that? You came to my house, it’s my duty to walk you out when you’re about to leave. Emm… Are you okay today? “

“Of course I am okay”

“No...emmm…. I mean, are you angry?”

“I am not. Why should I be angry at you?”

“Well, sometimes when I am with my friends I am like a jerk. But when I am with my juniors, I tend to be more abusive. I am… sorry about that.”

“It’s okay krub P’…. I… like you…”

“Huh?  What did you just say? I didn’t hear it clearly” P’Ohm grabbed his head in embarrassment. I see I am not the only shy one here now .

“Oh… I mean I like the way you are. Emmm… Let me pay you back later.”

“Emm.. Can I ask you to pay me back now?” P’Ohm moved a little closer “ Would you please?”

He grabbed my chin and last thing I saw before closing my eyes was his head moving closer and closer that in the end I felt our noses touching.

“Mick! Mick! Mick!!” Finally I opened eyes and stopped imagining things. My senior would never do that. “What are you thinking? Your nose is bleeding. Come here, let me clean that for you”

P’Ohm grabbed a bit of his t-shirt material and wiped my nose. He was really close and it felt almost like my imagined moment.

“Emmm… Thank you, P’. I… I think I should go back home now. Bye krub” I nod.

“Err.. okay. Be safe back home”

I left his house and heard his voice calling my name again. I turned and I saw him waving to me. I smile and wave him back.

I think I really like P’Ohm.