Chapter 08

“The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind.”
- Kiran Desai

While reminiscing on her past, Dalnim didn't notice that she fell asleep.

All the stress of the day had exhausted her more than she would have ever admitted, and being lost in thoughts, her mind drifted off into a deep slumber.

While sleeping, the sadness washed off of her and she looked a lot younger than she usually did. All her worries and thoughts were pushed back into a corner in her brain

Dalnim dreamed about a life away from violence. Away from all the horrible things happening in her life.

She saw herself with her parents and her sister, cooking all together in the kitchen in the home she grew up in. From the dining room, loud chit chat was audible, and as they went to serve the food, Jin, Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi sat around the table. Everything seemed happy and bright – and nothing like it really was.

A faint smile showed on her sleep-drunken face, and her eyelids began fluttering.

Slowly, she began drifting out of dreamland, and back into reality, yawning loudly and stretching her body.

When she tried to turn onto her stomach – her usual waking up position – something was in her way. She ripped her eyes open at a sudden touch on her head and backed away from whoever was next to her.

She quickly scanned the room, her vision still a little blurry, and her eyes met Jin's over her mattress.

“What...?” she began, but she wasn't yet able to fathom a complete thought.

“You're awake” he mumbled.

“Hmh” she hummed, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Why didn't she notice him entering her room? She really must have passed out for good.

“Why are you in here?” Dalnim asked with a rasp voice.

Jin brushed over his face, and only now, Dalnim dared to peek at him.

He looked tired and his forehead was wrinkled in worry. Usually, Jin was a really cheerful person, but since Namjoon had announced their latest job, his mood had been at a frequent low.

“I, uh...when you didn't come for dinner – even though Hoseok yelled like a maniac,” he stated with a dry chuckle, “I got a little worried.”

Dalnim nodded and propped her chin on her knees, inspecting her toes as she went on listening to Seokjin.

“You lay on your bed, passed out, and only wearing that thin shirt.”

“You ert!” she snorted. “That's ual harassment. I could get you put in jail.”

He arched an eyebrow, a playful smirk on his lips.

“Oh, really? Before or after I tell them that you kill people for a living?”

Dalnim rolled her eyes and pushed him playfully.

“It wasn't like that,” Jin then continued. “I came over to put a blanket over you and saw that you were crying in your sleep. I....”

He stopped talking and glanced at her cautiously.

“I felt like protecting you. So I lay beside you. Just...so that you wouldn't be alone.”

For some reason, Dalnim felt a little touched by what he did. Lately, she had been feeling lonely, and waking up next to someone was never a bad thing. As a kid, she always used to share a bed with her sister, and when she came here, she used to crawl into Hoseok's bed when everyone was asleep.

She awkwardly robbed closer to Jin and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Genuine surprise crossed Jin's face. He wasn't used to Dalnim deliberately searching for skin ship – not that he minded – but she appeared much more vulnerable than normally.

“Thanks” she murmured.

Dalnim closed her eyes against the soft fabric of his sweater and inhaled his scent. It made her feel calm and soothed and, in that moment, very very weak. It smelled like a piece of home.

Kim Seokjin was a piece of home.

“Are you sick?” he grinned mischievously, slinging his arm around her frame and pulling her closer to him.

“If you tell somebody about this,” she mumbled half-asleep, “I will put a bullet in between those pretty eyes of yours.”

“Whatever you say” he chuckled and started to caress her side softly with his thumb.

They sat in silence for a while. Dalnim had her eyes still closed, breathing deeply as if she was asleep again.

Jin, though, couldn't take his eyes off of her. They wandered from her crossed, bare feet, up her legs which were still pulled to her chest, the curve of her full lips, the way how tender her face looked.

Even with this new, harsh hair color, he still thought she was the most beautiful girl.

“What are you looking at, Kim Seokjin?” she murmured, and he noticed that she was glancing at him.

He pondered for a second, weighing a certain thought in his head. For some reason, Jin felt that this job of hers was going to be different. It would be parting their ways for a while – so this was a do or die chance for him.

“You” he said confidently and her head popped up.

Her eyes were narrow and watched him precisely. There was a sparkle in his brown eyes and one corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

Dalnim drew her eyebrows together and was just abut to give a sarcastic comment, when he suddenly hovered over her, making her lie on her back. His long fingers encircled her wrists and pinned them next to her head and his lips were just an inch away from hers.

Their eyes locked, and she noticed how the shade of his eye color had become a notch darker. His breathing was heavier and his gaze wandered from her eyes to her lips.

And then, he kissed her.

Just like that.

And Dalnim let her eyes flutter shut.

There was something desperate about the way he pressed his lips on hers, and she enjoyed it more than she should.

She voluntarily opened for him and let him run his tongue over her lips. She even let out a delighted gasp as one of his hands brushed up her thigh. She wrapped her legs around his hips, so his hands had better access to her .

Both of them were surprised by their actions.

Something like that had never happened while they were sober.

Seokjin had never found the guts, and even if he did, he knew exactly that Dalnim never would have allowed him.

But right now, she even buried her fingers in his brown locks and gently pulled at them.

Jin's hands moved under her shirt, gently caressing the soft skin over her rib cage and his kisses trailed along her jaw and up to her ear.

“Dalnim?” he murmured.

She tilted her head back a little at the sensation of his breath on her neck.

“Hmh?”

He pulled away from her, causing Dalnim to open her eyes and look what was going on.

Something was running through Jin's mind, that much she could tell. He was chewing on his bottom lip, searching for words.

Dalnim's breath was going flatly and she longed for his touch on her skin. The tip of her tongue ran over her swollen lips as she waited for him to start talking.

“I-”

Just as he started, her room door got smashed open and Namjoon's voice boomed through the room.

“Yah!

The two of them hastily jumped away from each other and faced their leader, who seemed to be raging.

“The two of you can go hump each other any time you want, really, I don't care. But we've been calling you for ten minutes now.”

Dalnim gulped hard and felt really exposed. She pulled her covers up to her waist, causing Namjoon to scoff at her, but he didn't comment on it.

“I want you downstairs,” he grumbled while turning around.

Jin searched for Dalnim's eyes, but she was facing the floor, trying to forget what just happened.

“Now!” Namjoon yelled up the stairs as none of them started moving.

“Yoongi and I worked on a plan” Namjoon started when everybody gathered in the living-room. Then he nodded in his friend's direction, telling him to start explaining.

Yoongi wasn't a person of many words, but had a sense for strategy the others – except the leader – lacked.

The blonde boy looked around lazily and fixed his snapback before clearing his throat.

“Yes” he mumbled and propped his elbows on his thighs. “Dalnim will visit the National University of Seoul under a false identity. Matriculation has been initiated and she will go and live on the campus from tomorrow on. Classes start on Monday. We provided everything you will need – books, a room in the dorm, a schedule.”

Dalnim nodded and her eyes wandered to a stack of books and papers that were placed in the middle of the table.

“You will get near the target. Become friends, go out like friends, get as close to the target to gather as many information as possible.”

Dalnim started chewing on the nail of her thumb. She wasn't good at making friends. She didn't even talk much, nor did she know to keep a conversation running. She was simply not interested in strangers and their pathetic, minor troubles that seemed so insignificant to her.

How would she manage make somebody befriend her?

“And after she's gathered enough information?” she heard Seokjin ask and she cringed inwardly.

That was for two reasons.

One: Just hearing Jin's voice unsettled her. She could shoot herself when she thought about what would have happened if Namjoon hadn't barged into her room.

Two: She already knew she was going to-

“Get rid of the target. Track down the second target afterwards and take him out” Namjoon shrugged. “It's just another job, after all.”

Dalnim nodded without paying any attention, making her jump as Hoseok ruffled her hair.

“No problem for our Dalnim!” he laughed. “She's a one kill!”

She pulled a fake smile, and for a second, her eyes met with Jin's. Worry was written all over his face. Quickly, she averted her eyes and faced Yoongi.

“How will I know who to target?”

Namjoon tapped on a photograph on the stack of books. Dalnim picked it up hesitantly, her eyes scanning the faces in the picture.

To her, they didn't look like they did any wrong.

“Why did they do?” she asked, her voice only a whisper.

“Does it matter?” Namjoon answered with a cold voice. “We're getting paid, that's all that matters.”

“Ah, is our Dalnim discovering a soft spot?” Hoseok joked, poking her cheek provocatively.

“Yah! Do you want to die?” she grumbled, and he quickly pulled his hand back.

“No, I'm...I'm fine” he stuttered, a slight hint of fear in his voice

Oddly, Namjoon broke into laughter and leaned back into the cushions.

“As if she would ever turn soft” he pointed out, his voice cold and sharp as a razor. Strangely, his eyes rested on his cousin Jin as he said those words.

“Hoseok” Yoongi broke the heavy silence, which lingered around Dalnim and the two cousins, “you take Dalnim out shopping. Find her clothes that look more like a student and less like...”

He stopped talking and waved in her direction.

“And less like a bad, e version of Lara Croft.”

“ you, too, Min Yoongi” Dalnim barked and flipped him off with a scoff.

“Always” he grinned smugly.

She got up from the sofa and pulled Hoseok up with her.

“Let's go.”

I want to get out of here, she added in her thoughts.

As the two of them left, Jin faced the two remaining men and shook his head.

“She shouldn't be doing this on her own” he stated, but Namjoon only shot him a look.

“Do you want to suggest going with her, staying by her side like a beat-down dog even though you know that she will never return your pathetic feelings?”

His words felt like venom to Jin, and he clenched his jaws tightly to keep himself from either beating the out of Namjoon, or tearing up.

“Whatever.”

“I can't believe I didn't know you went to school when you were already living with us!” Hoseok let out in disbelief. He threw his hands in the air and people started staring at them. “Why did you not tell me?”

Dalnim shrugged.

Instead of answering her friend right away, she let her eyes trail along the many shops that lined the streets of Myeongdong. She didn't like how crowded it was and how some men – younger and older than them – obviously stared at her. Some even threw Hoseok envious glances, thinking he was her boyfriend.

She slung one arm around her body and clutched her bag tight to her side with the other one.

Through the windows, Dalnim could see that most of the shops were tightly packed – mostly by students that came to the city for shopping after school. Most of them were still in their uniforms, and, seeing them like that – happy and lighthearted – she felt a pinch in her heart. It reminded her so much of her days back when she was going to school regularly.

With a sigh, she faced the boy strolling next to her with expressionless features.

“Didn't think anyone would care.”

Hoseok stopped in his tracks and scratched his head. He looked so utterly confused and clueless that it almost made Dalnim laugh out loud.

“But...where did you get the books from? How did you go there?”

She linked her arm with his and pulled him on since people started bumping into him because the street was so busy.

“Hyun Ki allowed me to,” she simply stated and she felt his body stiffen.

Hyun Ki had been the leader when she joined the Pack. He had been one of their strongest and strictest, but also the gentlest leaders they had. He cared a lot about education and manners and he always made sure everyone was treating the others with respect.

Unfortunately, his good manners caused his end. He fell into the arms of a big street gang of another district of Seoul. They were known for their pride and extreme brutality. And they were a bunch of idiots.

They had mistaken his politeness with arrogance and made a quick work of him.

The day Hyun Ki had been killed cruelly had been the day Dalnim had last been to school.

Then

Dalnim sat in the back of her class. She balanced her chin on one of her hands and her eyes were heavy from the little sleep she got in the past few weeks.

She had been training with Hoseok like crazy – mortal combat, weaponry, pickpocketing. They would run around the streets at night with the older guys, jealous of how advanced they were already and they had sworn to outrun all of them.

And the little time she got for sleep, she narrowed even more by studying for school.

After a few minutes, she couldn't keep her eyelids open anymore and drifted off into a slumber.

That was until the girl next to her drover her elbow into Dalnim's side hard.

Her eyes flickered open again and her English teacher – Miss Park – stood in front of her, giving back the pop quiz she had made the class take a day before.

Miss Park smiled at her brightly and her eyes shone with pride.

“100%. Once again. Congratulations!”

Dalnim nodded at her and she quickly tried to hide the sheet of paper in her notebook, but the girl, that had saved her from getting caught sleeping before, snatched it before she was able to move.

“100? Again?” she whispered. “How do you do that when all you do is nap in class?”

“Haneul, give it back,” Dalnim whined, “please!”

Haneul was just about to open for a response, when she got interrupted by the bell ending the lesson.

The room was filled with the noise of students' chattering and the rustling of textbooks being stuffed in bags. Everyone tried to escape the room as quick as possible, leaving only the t