Afterwards 2

After talking with Leeteuk hyung, I felt a lot better. I got up from his bed, and walked over towards the kitchen to get a pail of water.

I casually looked over the table to find a white envelope with blue ink on it. Curious, I looked closely at it, and realised that it had my name on it. I opened the envelope to read the letter inside. After all, it was for me, right?

Dear Lee Sungmin,

Hyung, how are you? Are you doing fine with Kim Sa-eun sshi, right before your military enlistment? I’m sorry to only leave a letter like this. I’m sure you’re very surprised and confused because I’m not there at the dorm. I was planning to tell you personally, but it became harder for me.

Please hyung, try to read this letter until the end.

Before it all ends, I want to tell you something. I’m not expecting any reaction or any effects from this. I’m just telling you this so that I can let you go to the military without any regrets for myself. I’m sorry that I’m selfish, okay? But I’m not called the evil maknae for nothing.

I love you.

What?

Don’t get me wrong I’ve always loved you as my band mate and my hyung, (and I know you did too) but it’s always been a little more than that for me. Ever since we debuted; even before our fans started shipping us as ‘KyuMin’, I’ve loved you.

Your eyes are always filled with hopes and dreams for the future, always sparkling with light when you see something exciting. When you smile, you can fill the whole world with your happiness. Your kind, caring personality is something no one can beat; protecting the weak, caring for the sick Am I selfish that I hoped that one day all of you would be mine, knowing that it’ll never happen?

I clearly remember the day when you told us you started dating a girl a few years ago. It was in the living room of our dorm, and you told us all that you had an announcement to make. I was hoping of something along the lines of ‘I’m planning to go to my parents’ house next weekend’ or something like ‘I’ve decided what solo song I wanted to sing at the next Super Show’. Never in a million years I would expect you to confess that you have started dating a girl.

I knew you were good friends with Kim Sa-eun sshi after you did your musical, but I cannot help but say that I was surprised and shocked. Heartbroken. I was heartbroken. It felt as if all of the light in my life was out.

The day not so long ago, when you told us you were getting married to Kim Sa-eun sshi, I