Notes From Reviewer

Title (5/5)

Description matches the title which is good. I think it is a simple and good title. Full marks and I don't have much comment on it because it is not bad. It follows proper rules and draws me in. Good job! 

Description & Foreword (06/10)

I feel like the description and foreward could have been better formatted because it looks a little messy for me. It does not even tell me who the characters are. Your description is mysterious but towards the end of it, you had the cliche description in which the main character is either gonna have his/her life change or gonna change someone's life. It kinda gave me that generic feeling. It is not a bad description but I wish it was a little more unique. 

Plot (7.5/10)

I like what you are going for, I actually got some chills on the first chapters though I wish I had more background on both characters. Like I understand Sehun's life but if he has a servant, why would he only get one meal a day- like that confuses me. Were the Kims a family friend? Where is Sehun's parents? I think this is because you have short chapters and this makes this part hard to review but I like the concept. It is interesting to see a story about solving a murder, a real gem. I think you could give more information on certain parts though like how Sehun's life is now. Maybe you want to reveal his past slowly but right now I feel like I need more meat to the story besides the bare minimum. 

Writing Style (16/20)

You gave me chills- no kidding. I got creeped out, I think you just write in a way that connects emotions well with readers. I would like more description though, about what the setting is, the character's clothes and etc. Just don't focus too much on action ad forget to paint the picture. Or else you will just have stick figures instead of people in your story. But keep up your good work so far. Stories are the movies of the past and if I can't see the movie, I will not be kept as interested. 

Characterization (8.5/10)

I like your characters, well so far is Sehun and Kai really. You explain their personality, you explain why Sehun acts like he does. There is a reason for his fear of people and places. You also do pretty well of hinting about Jongin's character not being what he seems. I can almost see them in front of me. Yet again, story is too short for me to fully give review on this part. I need more background information on their lives and their motivations. However, if you keep up with this work, you will be fine. One of the better characterization I have seen so far. 

Flow (7.5/10)

I think you should make longer chapters but that is just my opinions. You have something going but be careful not to gloss too quickly over scenes with Sehun going crazy from the sensations. I also do think the story is a little too slow for already three chapters but if you prefer to write stories in intervals then that is okay. The flow from past to present was abrupt but mostly due to lack of background. The story's flow is nice, not too many complaints on my part. 

Personal Enjoyment (04/5)

It's nice, not bad at all but please work on background infromation. It is one of my biggest issue with this fic but yes I understand, this is a new fic. I like characters and it is a nice plot. Keep up the good work! 

Overall (54.5/70) ~ 78%