Joonmyun spends the next few days after his conversation with Siwon trying to come to some sort of decision. It didn’t matter if he chose to go after Yifan or not, Siwon wouldn’t mind either way. The problem was trying to decide if he should or shouldn’t; forgetting what his feelings were at that moment, he needed to remember that leading up to Yifan confessing to him he had made, the guy had made Joonmyun’s life hell for some time, yet there were the moments where Joonmyun genuinely enjoyed being around him, that he got to see a side to Yifan he really liked being around. This was why it was so difficult for Joonmyun to make a decision.

To try and help himself come to a decision, he tried all sorts of methods which would hopefully help him decide if Yifan was really worth it;

First he composed a list of everything he liked and hated about Yifan. Naturally the list on the hate side was much longer; the way he always smirked when he knew he had pissed Joonmyun off, how cocky and arrogant he had been when they had first met, his need to always call or message Joonmyun when the latter was trying to work. Then Joonmyun went back over it and found that the negatives slowly went towards the positives; being cocky and arrogant was just one side of Yifan’s personality when Joonmyun knew there was so much more to him. Thinking back to those phone conversation and just what they were talking about half the time, it was actually quite endearing. Plus the smirk actually suited Yifan, Joonmyun had grown to like it on him. The list had been a failure.

Next he searched up Yifan’s name online to see if any recent news stories about him had been quite negative. Maybe there was something about his attitude, how he spoke to somebody, maybe he was seen with a new person, just something to give Joonmyun a reason to hate him. Of course there was nothing negative about him, only storied commenting on how unhealthy he looked lately, and Joonmyun knew better than anybody that the media had the tendency to overhype stories, so it would be unfair to judge at any rate.

At one point Joonmyun considered just calling Yifan. If he could gather what his reaction would be like over the phone that would help him decide if she should go see him in person. Yet every time Joonmyun tried to call, he would only be able to get two numbers up before changing his mind, groaning in frustration as he threw himself on the seat in the living room. It was no use, he was too much of a wimp to call him.

“I don’t know what to do”

It was a last resort he didn’t want to turn to, yet the next lunch he had free at work, Joonmyun was in an empty meeting room with Baekhyun and Luhan joining them on a Skype link.

“Well it’s a simple question of whether you like him enough” Baekhyun replies

“That’s the thing though! I do like him, but what he said to me when I went to see him, it hurt me a lot. What if I do go after him and he just hurts me again?” Joonmyun asks

“Look Joonmyun, it’s no use asking us two our opinions because we’ll obviously have different opinions as to what you should do” Luhan begins “What I do suggest you do though is to go home and really think about it. Don’t let anybody else try to influence your decision it needs to come from you”

What does Luhan think Joonmyun had been trying to do previously? The reason he came to talk to them two was to try and get some help, not go straight back to the beginning.

“Look if you’re really that stuck, just try and think of whether you would see yourself happy with him. You know him better out of the three of us, so think back to everything that has happened so far and ask yourself whether it’s really worth it, whether you could really see yourself having a future with him” Baekhyun offers

“And you really think that’ll help?” Joonmyun asks

“Well hey, it’s better than nothing! Just try it and see what happens” Baekhyun replies, Luhan agreeing with him from the laptop.

When Joonmyun gets home that evening, Baekhyun’s advice is still playing around in his mind. Would he really be happy with Yifan? Is it really worth going after him? Sighing to himself he walks straight to the kitchen and heats up some leftover pizza from the previous night, and waiting for the microwave to finish, leans against the counter looking into the living room.

The living itself reminds him of all the times Yifan had come over; the time he sat and just watched Joonmyun work whilst sipping a hot chocolate, the time he had come over in the pouring rain and sat eating takeaway wrapped up in a blanket so he wouldn’t catch a cold. Joonmyun’s coat and Yifan’s scarf are draped over the arm of the sofa, the scarf reminding Joonmyun of the time he and Yifan had walked through the park and Yifan gave it to him to keep him warm, of the time he and Yifan were at the restaurant having to hide so Luhan wouldn’t spot them, of the time Yifan had saved Joonmyun from the creep who tried to make a move on him.

All these memories in such a short space of time. It made Joonmyun realise that Yifan came over all the time because he needed him when he felt nobody else could help him. All those times Yifan would insist on having Joonmyun come out with him, it was to keep Joonmyun happy so that Yifan wouldn’t lose him because no matter how much he pissed Joonmyun off he just needed to keep him around.

It wasn’t just Yifan who needed Joonmyun, it was Joonmyun who- whether he liked it or not- needed Yifan just as much. The times they argued together, were out together, it helped Joonmyun to escape reality for once in a while and just relax. Yifan was the only one who could comfort Joonmyun at a time he realised his parents would never love him as much as they did his brother. Yifan wasn’t the most perfect person on the planet, and neither was Joonmyun, which is why in some weird messed up explanation which didn’t even make sense in Joonmyun’s head, they were perfect for each other.

“Oh ” Joonmyun mutters to himself, ignoring the beeping from the microwave when his pizza was ready, instead running back into the living room and grabbing his coat and car keys before rushing out the door and down into the apartment’s car park.

So what if there was a possibility Yifan was just going to turn around and reject him like he had done so the last time? Joonmyun still didn’t believe that Yifan no longer liked him and even if it took just one visit or fifty, he was going to convince him otherwise. His decision finally made, he gets into his car as fast as he can and races straight over to Yifan’s place…

Yes I know, cliffhangers, but I've put enough of these in here now that I really think you lot should be used to this by now!

But yes, Joonmyun's decision has been made! Will Yifan just forget about what he said the last time and return those feelings so they can live happily forever after for goodness sake?! Will it all happen in the next chapter? Who knows...

Until then!!