luhan sighed as he heard chanyeol crack another joke about how he looked like a girl. he fake laughed with the rest, but he felt horrible inside. he knew that they didn't mean it like that, and that if they knew the truth, they wouldn't do this. but, he could never tell them the truth, since that would probably also mean the end of his career. after all, no transgender could be a pop star.

as a little boy he was always looked at weirdly, with the way he dressed. they had called it a 'tomboy phase', but he knew that that wasn't the case at all. it was only when he was older that he decided to tell his parents. they had been mad and called him names, but after a while they had calmed down and learned to accept him.

he often was scared that one of the boys would figure it out, since he never showered with them or even undressed in front of them. he did have top surgery, but the scars were huge and obvious, and he couldn't risk them getting seen. he had never talked to them about stuff like that, so he wasn't even sure if they would accept him.

"are you okay? you have been oddly quiet today," minseok asked when they were back in the car. luhan turned towards him and send him a smile.

"yes, i am. i've been a little tired lately, that's all," he replied. minseok nodded his head, not really believing his words but he dropped the subject. luhan was happy to have minseok around him. he had always been very kind to him and he was trustworthy. but lately, luhan had started to notice that minseok was worried about him. he kept asking him if he was okay, and luhan kept telling him that he was only tired.

for a while, luhan had thought about telling minseok. but, he decided against that, because someone could overhear him or minseok could reject him (though that was quite doubtful). luhan didn't want this to all fall because of who he is, or rather used to be. his world was close to perfect, he was surrounded by people who loved him and he got to do what he enjoyed.

later, luhan w