‘Were in front of ChangMin’s house… Why are my knees wobbling though? Ah… am I that nervous? God… I’m such a kid. Am I supposed to be here though? It’s just that I have a gut feeling that I shouldn’t be here…” JaeJoong let his thoughts run wild as he and ChangMin approach the taller boy’s home. He shoved his hands down his thick jacket, and in some way, he can’t help but feel the strong tension that’s been bugging him. He noticed that ChangMin was looking at him, and he stared back while trying to guess if the other boy noticed how fidgety he’s getting. And his hunch was right, ChangMin did notice, well who wouldn’t? He was shaking like a pair of maracas.

“Don’t worry. My Mom’s as kind as your parents.” ChangMin tried to calm him, and even though the taller boy’s words didn’t affect his growing anxiousness, he still forced out a smile. Both of them take the last two to three steps until they’re both stepping on the front porch. They were both facing the dark brown door, carved in a style that JaeJoong’s not familiar of… Suddenly, JaeJoong felt a ghostly crawl on his back, giving him the shivering feeling that’s a bit uncomfortable. Then his eyes widened when he realized something. ‘I knew it!’ He screamed mentally, then he bit his lower lip just to stop himself from screaming. ‘I knew that there’s something wrong here!’ His inner self screamed in panic and with ChangMin staring at him with a smile, he can’t help but feel something that’s closely related to fear.

ChangMin gestured him to knock on the door… And hesitantly, he did. Three times. He was about to knock again when ChangMin told him to do so, but then distant footsteps were slowly approaching. He begins to shake again, and then the footsteps stopped. The door slowly opens up, and then, behind it was ChangMin’s mother.

She was like this accurately scary female version of ChangMin. She has this short-perm hair, defined –although a little rounder than ChangMin’s defined jaw. Eyes and nose that perfectly resembles the taller boy’s own, and even though Mrs. Shim was almost a foot shorter than her son, she definitely, hands down… looks like ChangMin. It almost scared the crap out of JaeJoong… and he was so focused on comparing his tall friend with his mother that he didn’t notice ChangMin’s changed demeanor.

The taller boy’s eyes were slowly building up tears. He tried to reach out to hug his mother but when he remembered that he’ll simply pass through her, he retracted his arm and clenched his fist so tight, his prominent veins were beginning to show.

“May I help you?” She asked with a mildly confused expression. And JaeJoong even noticed that her accent was closely similar to ChangMin.

‘Well, duh. He’s her son… pabo.’ His inner-diva , making a light blush appear on his face. “Ye-yes.” JaeJoong stammers out his answer. And when ChangMin whispered something in his ear, he lets out a loud gasps. He eyed ChangMin and tried his best to play-out as if he’s alone… and then hesitantly asked a… “May I come in?”

Mrs. Shim nodded although she was a bit reluctant. She took a few steps back to give space for JaeJoong to come inside. And when JaeJoong did, he respectfully gave a ninety-degree bow. She smiled at his kind gesture, and then she leads the young boy to their living room. “Please, take a seat.” She offered with a soft smile and all JaeJoong did was comply. The young man then took off both of his earmuffs and scarf, and then he stared at ChangMin’s Mother as if she was sporting a second head.

He then noticed her melancholic aura, and of course, he realized that ChangMin noticed it as well. The taller male was now standing next to him as he remains seated on the single-person sofa. ChangMin was just sitting there, as quiet and as sad as his Mother. And then the taller boy took note of his Mother’s clothing. She was wearing an all black turtleneck sweater and jogging pants. ‘Is she even leaving the house?’ ChangMin thought.

She sighed loudly while her eyes remain staring down on the floor. “Do you want some tea?” She asked JaeJoong, finally breaking the silence inside the room. JaeJoong appreciated the kind offer but he declined with a nod. She simply smiled at him and said “What’s the purpose of your visit here, if I may ask… do you need something, uhm… what’s your name?”

“JaeJoong… my name is Kim JaeJoong.” He replied with a soft smile, and she reciprocated with the same gesture.

“Do you need something, JaeJoong? It’s highly unlikely for someone your age to visit here in the middle of winter.” She asked as she studies the young man in front of her.

JaeJoong opened his mouth to say something but then he closed it again when he realized that he has nothing good to ask or say. He signaled at ChangMin to come closer and then he whispered something on the boy’s ear. Mrs. Shim was trying to see whoever it is the young man was talking to, and even though there’s only the two of them inside the room, she still looked behind JaeJoong to see if there’s someone else. “Is there something wrong, JaeJoong.” She asked again as she stared at him with much confusion. And then JaeJoong figured with a sheepish smile that at this moment, only he can see ChangMin. 

He tried his best to regain control through a deep and loud intake out breath, and then he said “I came here because of ChangMin, Ma’am.” He asked and admitted sincerely in sheer hope that ChangMin’s body is in here. But then JaeJoong noticed the sudden stiffness on Mrs. Shim’s shoulders.

She parted her lips and answered his question through a whisper. He’s not here…” Her eyes evoked sadness, and then she closed her lips into a tight line. “My son… my son…” She begins to show off her frustration and tears were slowly building up on her eyes, the pain inside her was too much, and in a matter of seconds, JaeJoong was already by her side. The young man pats and runs soothing circles on her back as tears keeps from running down her cheeks.

On the other hand, ChangMin can hear and see everything that’s happening. He bit his lower lips and soon enough, he too, was crying as well.

After crying for what seems to be a minute, Mrs. Shim leaned against the couch. She wipes her tears off with her sleeves as she let her emotions settle down. “I’m sorry for breaking down all of a sudden… how embarrassing…” She said with a sheepish smile when she was finished wiping off her tears.

JaeJoong gave her a reassuring and understanding smile, he was still holding on her shoulders to give her comfort. “It’s okay, Ma’am. I… understand.” JaeJoong composed his words as he looks at ChangMin who was still sobbing. The taller boy’s shoulders were tensed as his covers his face with both of his hands. He wanted to comfort his friend too, but he figured that ChangMin would’ve wanted JaeJoong to keep comforting his Mother since she’s the one who needs it most. He removed his gaze from the taller boy, returning it to the still woman in front of him. “Sometimes tears need to fall for us to release the pain…” He paused then he nervously continued. “If we don’t release our tears, we might explode and give up…”

Mrs. Shim smiled at the young man’s word. She nodded in agreement, gradually feeling comfortable with him. “I’m visiting the hospital that ChangMin’s confined at… would you like to come with me?” She offered with a generous sneer, her stare at JaeJoong’s eyes illuminates the fact that she’s hoping for the young man to come.

“Hospital?”JaeJoong’s eyes widened at the new found information. He lined his lips thinly, showing off his clear confusion. He was about to look at ChangMin, curious, and he really wants to know if taller boy knows the reason why he’s confined there. But then Mrs. Shim detected his weariness, and answered his unspoken question. “ChangMin is admitted there. He has been confined for a week, the Doctor’s said it was because of fatigue, leading to coma...”

“Oh…” He paused then takes a quick peek at ChangMin who looks as confused as he is. “I see… I’ll be glad to, I’ll... just get ready.” JaeJoong accepted the kind offer with a smile. It made sense though, how ChangMin is at the hospital and is not in his home. The first time he saw ChangMin was when the boy was left unconscious, laying on that stretcher. And now, he’s safely at the hospital.

‘Maybe if ChangMin comes with us, he’ll get his body back… then our lives will get back to normal.” JaeJoong concluded with a thought before he turned his neck a bit to look at ChangMin for the nth time. The taller boy looks just as hopeful as he is, though there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes. But, amidst of it all, he’s thankful that JaeJoong was there to comfort his Mother. He’ll eventually pay back that deed, and he wished it to be sooner than later.

After JaeJoong and Mrs. Shim prepared the last bit of the essential items such as towels, a pair of socks, boxers and clothing, they decided that it’s time to go. She gestured at the car, and asked JaeJoong to take a seat next to her, but the young man shyly declined, saying that he’s more comfortable on the back seat. She opened the door for him as she laughs, then she too climb on the driver’s seat and started the ignition. The drive to the hospital was quiet but comfortable. Both of them preferred it like that too. And even though JaeJoong really, really wants to talk to ChangMin –who is silently sitting beside him, he deemed not to, just because it’ll be inappropriate. Simply because Mrs. Shim will probably think of him as a crazy assed young man for talking to himself, just because she didn’t know that her son’s soul is actually along with them.

At long last, they’ve reached the hospital. Mrs. Shim told JaeJoong to go on to the lobby as she parked the car. He followed her instructions without another say so, with ChangMin coming alongside him, of course.

‘Finally.’ JaeJoong said to himself as he eyes the spacious hospital lobby. He called for ChangMin’s attention by whispering out the taller boy’s name. “ChangMin… maybe we can find a way to bind your soul back to your body!” Though he was whispering, it came out as a silent and giddy scream. And he earned ChangMin’s joyous laughter afterwards.

The nurse on the front desk directed them at room 3102, and then and there, JaeJoong eyed ChangMin as they entered the room silently. And both men remained silent as ebbed as they stared at ChangMin’s sleeping body. Mrs. Shim came soon after.

“Finally… I can see you… I can touch you…” JaeJoong whisper came out too loud that Mrs. Shim ended up hearing it. She turned to face the young man, then she grabs JaeJoong by the shoulder, then she squeezed it lightly. She pushed JaeJoong a little, until the said boy was a feet away from the bed that’s cradling ChangMin’s body. ChangMin of course stands beside JaeJoong and murmured a shaky “So this is what I look like whenever I’m sound as sleep.” He paused then made a face. “Damn… how weird.” And although his voice laced with fascination, his tone implied otherwise and JaeJoong couldn’t help but giggle, earning back Mrs. Shim’s attention.

“I’ll be going outside to buy some drinks. JaeJoong, what would you like?” She asked him, repeating the gesture of placing her warm hand on his shoulder. He looked at where her hand was, and as he continued to stare he answered. “Chocolate with some whipped cream would be great, Ma’am.”

She gave out a soft nod. “Understood.” And then she made her way out of the room.

Finally, JaeJoong has another short chance to be alone and weird with the taller male. He looks at ChangMin once he noticed that the door was closed. “Her hands were so warm and comfortable.” He acknowledged with a sneer.

ChangMin looked down on his body, and then he looks at JaeJoong. He then begins to move closer to the chair beside the hospital bed, and he slumped down as the back of his knees touched the plastic border. “Yes I know…” He answered as he placed both of his hands behind his head, cradling his neck against the hard plastic chair. “Though it would be better if I can feel your warmth on my hand…” ChangMin stated without looking at JaeJoong. He closed his eyes, and even though he can’t see it, he heard JaeJoong swallow. Hard. And he had to contain his inner-fanboy when JaeJoong lets out a squeaky reply.

“Wha-what?!” JaeJoong’s squeaky reply resounded inside the quiet, hospital room. His mouth was left hanging open and he can’t seem to stare directly at ChangMin. The taller male was staring at his own body, and after ChangMin’s brave confession, the smaller male found it quite uncomfortable to look at the latter’s sleeping figure.

“You heard me JaeJoong… I said… I want to feel your warmth too. It must be nice to receive a hug from you…” ChangMin’s confession oozed out with bravery and all out seriousness. He stopped looking at himself, diverting his fiery glare at JaeJoong’s shaky ones.

“Why wou-would you want to fe-feel my warmth?! You have your own Mom to hug…” JaeJoong stuttered and almost failed to answer the question with a straight face. He’s as red as a tomato now, and every time ChangMin looks at him, he can’t help but keep his eyes on the floor.

The taller male sneered, and then he ran his fingers against his lips, barely touching it. “Because…. you’re hug is totally different from my Mon’s, JaeJoong….” He laughs with genuine pleasure after witnessing JaeJoong’s awfully reddened face, though he was a bit frustrated just because…

The smaller male whined. “Why am I so-so different?!” And ChangMin thought, for a smart kid, JaeJoong is awfully slow when it comes to these kinds of things. “It’s because you’re special to me!” ChangMin raised his voice, and then he emphasized the word special just to make his point crystal. He just hopes that this confession will get through JaeJoong’s thick skull.

JaeJoong’s heart was beating so loud and hard against his chest that he feels it against his temples. He felt his body tingle with the new found words that he heard from ChangMin. And it terrified him because it made him feel something that’s making him feel tingles on his stomach. It’s something foreign, something new. He didn’t like but he can’t figure it out. “What are you trying to say ChangMin?! You-you’re so weird right now!”

“I said…” He gets up, clearly getting tired of this façade. He walks, inching closer to where JaeJoong was standing. And he studies the smaller boy’s face which was merely inches away. A few more steps and their lips would touch. It tempted ChangMin but he concluded that it’ll be perfect form some other time. He then noticed how much JaeJoong’s trying to avoid his gaze, by some means it made his wish to steal JaeJoong’s attention by kissing the daylights out of him. He sighed. ‘I swear when I get back on my back, I’m going to kiss that insensitiveness out of you. Just you wait… JaeJoong.’ He chuckled at his inner-champion and kept his gaze on JaeJoong’s lips. “For now… let me keep this secret…”

‘What’s wrong with, ChangMin?’ JaeJoong asked himself. Seriously not knowing why ChangMin is eyeing him like that. ‘Maybe he’s just freaking out right? I mean he just saw his own body… lying there on the bed. That’s enough to creep the out of everyone! Yeah… that’s right, he’s just creeped out. Just creeped out!’

After long minutes of complete and awkward silence with sudden and stolen glances and longing stares, ChangMin’s Mother arrived just in time to kill the awkwardness between the two.

“I’m back, JaeJoong. Sorry for making you wait… the canteen was packed up as we speak.” She smiled at the teen while handing over the hot chocolate with whip cream on top.

JaeJoong gave his thanks to Mrs. Shim before taking a small sip from the hot drink. He gave her a wide smile after tasting how delicious the hot chocolate was. The lady can’t help but think of the young man as adorable, she ended up patting and running her hand on JaeJoong’s hair.

Time flies by and he never failed to look at ChangMin’s sound asleep body. He then noticed that something was not right, and it made his forehead crease. Slowly, he stands from his seat and walks closer until he was at the edge of the bed to confirm it. ChangMin’s body is not breathing. He stared at ChangMin with such a dumbfounded and worried expression that it made the latter feel the same. He leaned forward to double check, wondering if he’s just mistaken. Then the taller boy noticed and rushed next to him screaming. He literally thought JaeJoong was going to kiss him… and although he’d appreciate it… “What are you trying to do, my Mother’s here can’t you see?!”

JaeJoong hushed ChangMin; his concentration was not furrowed by any means. ‘Damn, he really isn’t breathing at all!’ he screamed in inner panic. Immediately he called for Mrs. Shim’s attention, but when he did, Mrs. Shim just shook her head. Her expression clearly displayed worry. “He’s not breathing, but his heart is beating, JaeJoong… Don’t worry; I was just as worried as you were…” Mrs. Shim alleged.

The young man’s eyes went wide, he then lets out a startled “WHAT?!” He was totally confused and left stupefied. How can ChangMin’s heart beat if he’s not breathing? That’s totally impossible. “He’s not dead, right?!” He screeched out his question, emphasizing his point by poking ChangMin’s unconscious body on the cheek.

“No. He’s not dead, JaeJoong.” She replied. The same sadness as before was back on her soft features. “The doctors were just as surprised… just like how I was… I was working at the office when someone called me, saying that he’s a paramedic and that my son was not breathing even though his heart was perfectly fine. I was so shocked that I ran without even telling my boss the details why, and then just in time, I saw doctors probing and experimenting things at my son’s body.” She voiced angrily then she continued. “They said that it’s like a Standstill. You… you… I mean he just stopped living. They said that my boy is alive… that made me happy but….” She stopped; unwelcomed tears filled her eyes again, making ChangMin guilty for giving such pain to his Mother.

“The-they said that they don’t know when he will wake up… They said that if he doesn’t wake up after three weeks then they’ll have no choice but to remove all the life support and proclaim my son as biologically dead!” She finally broke down and crash down knees first on the floor. “They even made me sign all these papers stating that my son was to be a donor… How can they be so heartless?!”

After hearing those words his knees begins to get weak. He shots ChangMin a glare, pain evident in his big doe eyes. Tears were building up, threatening to slither down and fall. ChangMin was on his knees as well, the latter seemed to be too shocked to even understand if his body won’t wake up, he’ll truly die. Even though there was no close relation between JaeJoong and ChangMin’s family, the smaller suddenly had this urge to be there for them. He needs to be there to give them courage, and that it’ll be okay. “Don’t worry, Ma’am. Please be strong, ChangMin needs to see your smile more than ever… Don’t worry, ChangMin will wake up, eventually.” He tried to say with much bravery but his own tears betrayed him.

“Thank you…” ChangMin said as he approached JaeJoong. The taller male leaned forward, inching closer to his Mother. And even though his lips passed through his Mother’s cheek, he still kissed her, ever so tenderly.

The silent aura didn’t linger for that long, and soon enough the mood inside the room is beginning to brighten up.

“ChangMin… he’s a very sweet guy. Mrs. Shim you raised him well.” JaeJoong said as he looked at Mrs. Shim who was now cleaning ChangMin’s forehead with a wet towel.

“Why is he sweet to you?” Mrs. Shim questioned with a grin. She raised one of her eyebrows, a suggestive one. And it made JaeJoong flinch.

“Wha-what?”

“I see… You’re in love with my Min right?” She begins to tease the young man. She then leaned closer to ChangMin’s unconscious body and whispered… “ChangMin-ah. You’re so lucky to have a friend… or boyfriend like JaeJoong. I approve of him…” She giggled after witnessing JaeJoong’s pink cheeks turning into bright red.

“I know right, Mom?” ChangMin answered back though his Mother can’t hear him, making JaeJoong a bit irritated and shy. ‘I am the only one who can hear and see you, you know!’ JaeJoong mouthed at ChangMin, the latter just smiled and stick out his tongue menacingly.

“If ChangMin was awake… I bet you will make him so happy…” Mrs. Shim frankly admitted to JaeJoong, leaving the young man all quiet and flustered.

“I… I don’t even… I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ma’am.” Was all JaeJoong said as a reply.

“Because… I can clearly see something that you don’t. Well, not yet… But you’ll figure it out soon.” She leaned over at the bewildered young man. She patted him lightly on the cheeks while saying “My son…. You’ve made the right decision at choosing this one.” She looked at ChangMin’s sleeping body then looked back and laughed at JaeJoong’s dazed and confused expression..

‘Man he’s slow….’ ChangMin said to himself…. ‘But I like it!’ He smirked then he looked at JaeJoong and his Mom’s cute interaction. Both were sharing loud giggles and smiles. ‘Maybe this situation was our cue to move forward to our destiny after all… Right, JaeJoong?’ 

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