Before I start, I’m writing this short note to talk to anyone who will find this journal: my mother, Kwan, journalists, any kind stranger… Please, call the authorities and send it to them. It took me days and lots of research online to recover it all and now I will definitely use it. I’m sorry I could not translate it in Korean in time. Please publish it. Let everyone know the truth about Mr. Joseph Hepstein from the secret services of Camp Humphreys in Pyongtaek. In case I can’t make it, do not let him get away with what he did to us.

 

I was woken up this morning by a screeching electronic sound that pierced my eardrum like a power-drill and my brain numbed by a huge headache as if it was still bathing in alcohol. Slowly, I remembered where I was and what was going on: Seungri’s house, Henry, a birthday, miss Sung, soju, lots of that disgusting soju… I got up dizzy and found a paper folded in my hand. I unfolded it and thought I was going to throw up when I recognized Seung Hyun’s file. The latter was still sprawled on the couch next to me with his new girlfriend, both of them sound asleep. I also made my laptop fall on the carpet and found Henry’s note. Of course, that little son of a… was nowhere to be found among partiers who were spread all over the place. I found enclosed a picture of Mum and Kwan curled in a corner with their hands attached with some plastic bracelets, both of them gagged and a gun pointed to their heads. This time, their faces were clearly visible. Though Kwan was crying with his eyes tight shut, my Mum’s were open and she was glaring at the photographer, probably Joseph. No doubt, it was definitely my Mummy. My assumptions became certitudes when I received Joseph’s call. It confirmed everything Henry had written as I then heard Kwan beg and Mum’s voice: “Honey, don’t come back. Don’t do as he says!” she whispered, breathing hoarsely. “Call the police! We’re okay, sweetie!” she quickly said and was then cut off by Joseph. He sounded sterner than ever, as if he was talking to one of his clients from the military. He said it was ready. The SB was finished. All the side effects had been erased. And now the only solution to cure the boys was to bring them to the lab so maybe they could collect the rest of the SB left in their blood. He said they were going to send people to pick us up. I said there was no need. We would come by ourselves.

 

“You know what might happen if you lie to me or if you don’t show up, right?” he said.

“I know. But I don’t stand a chance against you. Not this time. Henry can testify. ” 

“…Fine. You have 60 minutes. Then, we will come ourselves.”

 

We both hung off. I looked at the time: 08:30. I leaned over Miss Sung and shook her lightly. She fidgeted a little and yawned as I then went closer to her ear. There I told her that I would be out for a while and to take Seung Hyeon to her home. She started protesting and I said he just needed to keep a low profile for a while. When she asked why and was about to wake the maknae up, I took her by the shoulders and looked her deep in the eye:

 

“Remember what happened to the Lees? If you really care for their son, don’t let the same happen to him. It’s your responsibility now.”

 

I promised she would get all the answers to her questions later. Although she was still hesitant, she nodded and then looked down at Seung Hyeon who still had his head on her lap. She his hair. I could tell he was in good hands. I knew he would upset when he wakes up. He would think of my action as an other treason; that he was being abandoned again. I hoped some day, he would understand.

 

As I left them and got out of the house, heading towards the car, my phone beeped again. I had a message: Seung Hyun was sorry he hadn’t called me yesterday. His family kept him busy. He tried to call me sooner and was wondering if I was awake. He just wanted to hear the sound of my voice. I let out a small tear. I still have the message I sent to him and the three other boys:

 

“Don’t try to call me for a while, guys, I’ll be out of batteries soon ;P ! I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad I met you. Please grow into responsible adults but not too much :D Take care of each other. And stay hidden just a little longer. It’ll be over soon. Saranghae,

Joan-noona.”   

 

I had 45 minutes left. I was a little sad that my farewell party couldn’t be more festive or couldn’t last a little longer but I had no time to lose. I went into the car and started the engine.

 

As soon as they saw my car, Joseph and the others arrested me as if I were a fugitive. When they asked where the boys were, I just smiled and raised my hands, as if to say “I’m unarmed. I got nothing. Do as you like.” Though I knew what was going to happen, I was strangely serene about it. They got me out of the car, handcuffed me with the same plastic bracelets as Kwan and Mum and set them free. Although I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, Mum went to the balcony, bent over the barrier and yelled at them to leave me alone. She screamed my name at the top of her lungs. I cried at her to go back inside and that everything would be fine. I smiled at her. She sobbed and begged Joseph to let me go. His guards pointed theirs guns at my head and he said that if she called the police, I would definitely be gone. They then took me in one of the military cars and they all drove away from my district at great speed.

 

After walking into the labyrinth of halls and elevators after what seemed like a (blissful) eternity, there I was, back at the lab. Yet this time, instead of Joseph and me walking side by side, he was at the head of our little parade and I was surrounded by goons with my skin torn by the plastic bracelets that were too tight on my wrists. Joseph took me in the surveillance room and told the others to leave us alone. Although I was scared to death and I could feel my whole body shake from the strength of my heartbeat, I kept a blank expression as my former colleagues watched him grab my arm and locked the door behind us.

 

He forced me to sit down on the guard’s chair, attached my arms to its steel bars with more plastic bracelets and then stood in front of me in silence, his back pressed against the control table. Though I kept my head bowed, I could feel his eyes on me, glaring so hard they seemed to shoot lightning bolts. After a while, my lips curled into a smirk.

 

“I’ll guess we’ll just go straight to the bad cop part, huh?”

 

He slapped me so hard across the face my head turned and my vision blurred for a second.

 

“You stupid !” he barked. “Do you think this is funny? Do you know how worried I was about you?”

“Oh yeah, I can tell.” I said, now feeling my cheek burn as if it was on fire.

 

He ignored me and went on.

 

“Hours, days, weeks… Decades of my life are left out in the wild. I spent half of my life on these creatures just I can improve our lives. For us, humans!”

“They are humans too.” I mumbled.

“And you,” he said and poked his finger at me with every single word. “You mushy spoiled little girl, you come to MY lab, you judge MY experiments and you take MY boys away just because one of them eyed you for too long!”

“They are not your boys.” I said between my gritted teeth. “They are nobody’s boys! And they have names!” I shouted. “Kang Dae Sung! Lee Seung Hyeon! Kwon Jiyong! Dong Youngbae! and Choi Seugh-”

 

He slapped me again, this time from the other side.

 

“Don’t you dare talk back at me! Especially about that brat! Never do that again!” he ordered me coldly. He then stuffed his hand in my coat pockets and took out my phone. As he mashed a few buttons, I noticed the little battery logo blinking, going red, then the screen shut down. As Joseph tried to turn it on again, upset, I chuckled lightly. He then threw it to the ground and I jumped lightly when it shattered at my feet. He then kneeled inches away from my face and grabbed my chin.

“Now tell me where they are.”

I didn’t say a word. My face was aching badly. I looked into his eyes, encouraged by anger and pain.

 

“ you, Joseph-nim.”

 

But my new confidence was truly challenged when I felt his iron hand grab my neck and make me raise my head, his face barely inches away from mine. His features were so tense I knew a slap would not be enough to release him this time. When he talked to me again, his voice was soft yet colder than ever.

 

“Remember. I’m your boss, I’m your boyfriend and I’m your teacher. I’m not gonna let some little sh*t like you preach me about the goodness of humanity. Look around you. No-one can protect you from me now. No law, no policeman, no ethical code. Just you and I. So if I were you,” he said and rose up again, “I’d better shut up and cooperate.”

 

He clapped in his hands and an assistant came with his precious black bottle which he took in his hands like a baby and shooed the new assistant away. When we were alone again, he put the bottle on the control table next to him.

 

“I know what you’ve been thinking lately,” he said and kept turning the bottle between his fingers lovingly. ““What is he doing?” “Why doesn’t he look for us?” “Did he forget about us?” No, I did not. I did definitely not. But I still had a lab to handle, you know? I still have a team to keep under control and nagging officials to reassure. As much as I care about you, you guys are not the center of my universe- You see,” he said and smiled at me, which brought shivers down my spine. “I knew I did well when I brought you here. Turns out when you left, we were THIS close to finish the product. Your theories were so different from mine they made me open my eyes and look at the problem from a whole different point of view! I changed all my calculations and voila!” he said and raised the bottle proudly like a presenter from a television show. “No more memory loss! No loss of speech! And at least twice more efficient than the SB 1.0! Of course, in order to protect myself from any tattletale, I’m keeping the new formula there.” he pointed at his temple. “It’s all in here, crystal clear. Good luck to hack this! Now, since you know me now, I guess you know what the next part consists in.” he said and grinned.

 

I looked at him, looked at the bottle then looked at the iron curtain and I felt my eyes widen.

 

“There are more?” I exclaimed. “New guinea pigs? You found new guinea pigs?!” I repeated, panicked.

 

He shook his index.

 

“Just one. A rookie. No need to go through ten more years of training for someone who can turn into Superman instantly.”

 

He opened the iron curtain and I saw the destroyed arena of which half of the lighting was broken. Something was standing on its center. As it stood in the shadows, I first thought it was rock until it walked towards us and I recognized it as a man from which I could only see the upper body. It was all covered in black leather from head to toe and had so many muscles I could barely distinguish where the torso ended and where the arms started. He was also wearing thick black glasses.

 

A mannequin was standing far away from him. Joseph ordered him to grab it and bring it here. The young man lightly nodded. Then, in the blink of an eye, he sprinted to the other side of the arena and came back with the statue which he then put down with a loud bang. It looked way lighter in his hands than it really was. There, he stood behind the mannequin, seized the head in one of his gloved palms and, with a single pressure of his fingertips, crushed it into dust in front of me. He then turned his face towards me and I stifled a gasp. He greeted me casually with two fingers pointed to his temple before he took something from his back, still facing me. He was now holding a small mirror in his hand. He briefly looked at it, then looked at me again and took off his glasses. He had icy blue eyes and blond eyebrows. A fellow American, I thought, maybe Californian. He then extended his arm and stared at the mirror, as if admiring himself from a distance. Then, out of nowhere, the mirror broke with a loud crack. When he looked at me once more, as he shook off the shattered glass from his thick black glove, his eyes were now shining with a dangerous spark. He finally bowed and put back his glasses. When Joseph congratulated him, the soldier took out a little notepad and pen and wrote: “Seven years of bad luck just for you, boss!”. Some staff members then arrived and took care of the mannequin and the broken mirror as the Superman guy stretched his muscles and did some dynamic push-ups in a corner.

 

“So this is it. Congratulations.” I declared, looking at the mannequin of which the head was now missing and the neck broken.

 

“I know, right?” he said and his phone suddenly beeped and, as he watched it, he smiled even more. “Fantastic! Just in time.” 

 

When he went quiet again, watching the soldier train, I couldn’t help but glance at him with curiosity.

 

“In time for what?”

 

Suddenly, the soldier and him turned at me with a warm smile as he then walked behind me, the microphone and said to my ear:

 

“Time to test the SB 2.0 on human flesh, of course.”

 

As the soldier was facing me and walking towards me threateningly, I squirmed on my chair and screamed. I suddenly heard loud noises and voices screaming my name from far away. I froze when I recognized whose voices it was and, when I tried to scream again, Joseph covered my mouth with his hand and put down the mike. 

 

“I think one call will be enough to bring your pets in here.” he said and made me turn my face towards one of the main gates of the arena.

 

Indeed, to my horror, there they arrived, all five of them, dressed in civilians as the soldier hid in the shadows again, waiting for them. When our eyes met, Seunghyun was the first to react as he ran towards me without warning the others and they followed him as soon as they saw me as well. He tried to break the window with his fists but nothing happened. I barely heard the muffled sound of his punches as if he was under water and Joseph and I were on the other side of a giant aquarium. The glass wall didn’t budge even when Youngbae tried to break it himself. It did not even leave a scratch on the surface.

 

“No need, guys.” Joseph said as he the microphone again. “I know you now. This wall is so thick not even diamond would cut it!”

 

The five of them kept punching and kicking. I could see their faces grimace as they yelled my name with the veins of their necks clearly visible from my point of view. But it seemed like no sound would come out. I myself tried to shout at them to leave but they couldn’t understand what I was saying. As Jiyong and Seunghyun were looking closely at me, I silently invited them to follow my line of sight and they turned, followed by the three others. There the super-soldier was standing, making inviting gestures to fight him. The five of them stepped away from the window, spread and positioned themselves behind GD in a fighting mode as well. As for their opponent, he took out his black glasses, dropped them and stepped on them, squishing them firmly to the ground, left, right, left, right, in a fierce, manly manner, ready for the second round of his own show.

 

I tried to swallow my saliva and felt my tongue drier than dust, unable to keep my eyes of them.

As the six of them was standing side to side in the center of the arena, the nameless soldier faked a first attack and they all reacted defensively. I saw the soldier’s shoulders shake lightly with laughter. As he obviously couldn’t take it anymore, G-Dragon dashed at full speed towards him with his fist clenched, ready to throw the first punch. However, the soldier dodged it easily as he stepped aside and, to everyone’s surprise, turned and kicked him behind the head which stopped GD in his track and made him fall down. Even he couldn’t believe it: no-one ever managed to level his speed!  

 

Then, chaos was unleashed. The four others lunged at him at the same time as GD got quickly back on his feet and joined them again. The soldier was barely disturbed by the sudden attack as he ran again and dodged them all easily, running around and throwing punches and kicks to everyone, so fast they barely had the time to see it coming. However, GD was now running after his adversary. Hits were thrown from every side as they all spread around and gathered again, jumped and crawled, gave and received, so intensely I could barely see who was hitting who. Sweat drops were starting to pour here and there. At some point, the soldier hit Top so hard in the back I thought he had broken his spine as he fell face first yelling. Following GD’s orders, Daesung ran and pressed his hands on his back while Taeyang and Seungri protected him. GD himself surpassed his own limits to catch up with his adversary and finally grab him. When Top was back on his feet, they all joined and managed to block the soldier’s way and seized his arms and legs as Taeyang tightened his fist and punched him so hard in the face the cloth tore and I saw blood spurt from under what I first thought was a helmet but then realized it was a thin mask. The young man was even more deformed than I thought. As his cut lips were now visible, he kept his head turned to the side, spit a bloody tooth and grinned. He then shook the four others off violently, took out his glove and applied his white, white hand on his jaw. When he took it off after less than a second, still grinning, his tooth had grown back and his white smile was good as new. 

 

“We took good care of applying it everywhere this time. Legs, hands, face, everywhere.” Joseph commented with a satisfied tone.

As he was standing very close to the window again, I took a good look at the soldier’s hand: it was thick, strong and had neither lines nor fingerprints. That hand was nothing human, as if it was just made of white clay. 

“You’re insane.” I said in a low voice.

“Am I?” he asked innocently. “Then tell me. Who is the craziest between the two of us,” he said and pointed at the window, as if from behind the screen, “the big bad scientist who knew how to exploit these monsters’ potential, or the one busy giving names and accessories to her new friends and neglected their training?”

 

The five boys were exhausted. Their shirts were half torn off, their hair soaked and dusty and their breathing heavy as their super-opponent barely broke a sweat ever since the beginning of the fight. 

 

“In fact,” Joseph declared and took a small stepladder. “I’m bored.”

 

He put it against a wall under the huge tin box that contained all the plumbing system. He then took his bottle, climbed up the stepladder against, lifter the cover of the tin box and took the cap off his bottle before he turned at me with a smirk.

 

“Let’s hype things a little, shall we?”

 

He then poured the whole liquid in the machine and I tried to struggle and get up to stop him, powerless, as he then jumped off the stepladder like a little kid, ran towards the control table and pounded the fire alarm button, looking at the window with stars in his eyes.

 

As the alarm was activated, the soldier and the boys froze. Suddenly, the soldier whooped with joy with his fists in the air as he then started to shred his uniform ragingly, impatiently, ignoring the boys who just stared at him and then looked up as water started pouring on their heads. However, as I watched their expressions change, they suddenly started running and covering themselves with their rags, trying to protect themselves in vain from the black rain. The soldier was now half , all drenched in the grey-black liquid, smiling with his mouth open, his head tilted backwards and his eyes closed as if he was given holy water. When the rain became transparent again and he faced the team once more, he had fire in his eyes and his grin was wider than ever, salivating like a hungry monster.

 

He yelled something at me with his arms wide open. Though I couldn’t hear what he was saying, I managed to read his lips: “Come at me, kiddies”.

 

And so they deployed around him once more, diluted black goo streaming down their faces and bodies as well. They looked more determined than ever to put an end to this. When the combat resumed again, hits were stronger on both sides, chases were faster, roars and commands were louder and the whole arena shook at some point from the forces at play. Blood was now mixed with sweat as red spots started to constellate the ground and the window. I looked at it horrified. Everyone’s moves were so frantic I could not even tell whose blood it was. Anytime one of the boys would stop hitting or running, he would look so pale and so sick I thought he would either faint or throw up. However, he would then join the melee once again. Their bodies were no longer used to the SB. The boys’ knees were shaking and I was pretty convinced the soldier could tell. However, he himself seemed to lose his balance from time to time from the excessive amount of drug in his system. Time then seemed to slow down in the room as all of them were almost on their knees. In the surveillance room, Joseph kept his arms crossed and, as he glanced at his half-empty bottle, he took it and went back on the stepladder.

 

“What are you doing?” I exclaimed. “Stop! Don’t! Can’t you see it’s killing them all? Even your champion is poisoned! Look!”

“I don’t care!” Joseph replied. “It’s taking way too long. That kid is just a crash-test dummy anyway. His death will allow us to know the new limits of the average SB tolerance. Plus it’ll be easy to explain. He’s not in the military for nothing!”

 

As the black rain fell in the arena again and everybody got dizzier and dizzier, he then took the microphone and spoke in an angry voice:

 

“I’m getting tired. If you want to survive another shot, kid, finish them off! Now!”

 

Listening to his master, the champion beast nodded and sprinted again towards GD. In the blink of an eye, he was right behind him. Though the others tried to warn him and stop his assaulter, they were too slow.

 

My heart stopped at that vision: as GD was busy catching his breath, when he tried to escape, the soldier caught him by the wrist, pulled him back and, grabbing his skull with both hands, snapped his neck.

 

The action was so quick and so clean G-Dragon’s body collapsed right away like a house of cards. There was a whole five seconds of silence before the four others and I reacted. As his face was now on the ground, the leader’s own look expressed neither fear nor pain. All I could read was stupor, as if he could not believe this was all real. Now that spark of amazement in his eyes was gone and he was as immobile as a broken statue.

GD was dead. JIYONG was dead! DEAD!

 

“Don’t worry. When he is done with all of them them,” Joseph calmly said with his back turned at me, facing the fight, “I’ll make sure he takes care of you too.”

 

Daesung, Top and Seungri rushed towards their leader, livid. Taeyang clenched his teeth and lunged at the soldier, pinned him on the ground as he sat on his chest and smashed his head. The soldier didn’t struggle, tensing with every hit he received. At some point, he stopped moving and laid there like a broken toy. When Taeyang was finished, his arms resting lifelessly on each side of his body, puffing heavily and still crying his eyes out, as he approached his head to spit at the soldier’s face, he was caught off guard by the latter as he suddenly grabbed him by the neck.

Then, with a single pressure, he pushed Taeyang off him and got up. Taeyang landed on his back spasming with both hands on his throat which, to my horror, was now drenched in red and covering his hands with blood gloves. When Daesung tried to run towards him, he was caught by the soldier who took hold of both of his wrists and twisted them upside down, making the blonde yell and fall on his knees as the soldier then kicked him in the head so hard he collapsed and blood came out of his mouth and ears. Meanwhile, as Taeyang was desperately gasping for air, red bubbles coming out of wide open mouth, a last tear streamed down his face and he expired. Daesung’s expression looked more serene as if he could already see the angels waiting for the three of them.

This was all turning into a slaughter! It was torture to watch! Yet I couldn’t look away. I shook like a leaf and held my breath when the soldier then turned at the oldest and the youngest of the group. Top placed himself in front of the maknae and whispered something close to his face. The next second, Seungri was rushing towards the main entrance and, as the soldier tried to prevent him from escaping, Top blocked his way, grabbed him by the hair and looked him straight in the eyes. However, the soldier didn’t look away nor closed his eyes as he stared back at Top, glaring as well. I saw him grit his teeth as the soldier clutched on his hair the same way. Both of them were now frozen in place, so focused they ignored the obvious pain they were both feeling as they were now crying black bloody tears, shaking lightly. Both of their heads seemed about to explode. Since he couldn’t hear me, I silently encouraged Seunghyun, ignoring my own heart pounding with fear. Suddenly, I heard Joseph’s voice give an order I didn’t listen as the door to which Seungri was heading instantly opened and I heard muffled shotguns shoo him away and force him to turn around, running away from the shooters as fast as he could. At the sound of it and to my horror, Top turned his head and screamed his name. The soldier took advantage of it as he suddenly took the piece of the broken mirror he had kept in his uniform and plunged in his belly. I yelled to the point my throat torn up at it. I prayed I was just having a nightmare, the worst of my life.

 

No. Please No. No that. No, NO, NO, NO !!!!!!!

  

To make sure he wouldn’t survive, or maybe he was obeying specific instructions he had been given, the soldier stabbed his opponent a second time, then a third until the edge of the blade pierced through the other side, and then dropped him to the ground. Top curled up, trembling. Ignoring his adversary, he raised his head. For a second, his eyes had a dull gaze but then opened as wide as saucers as he turned his head around. He seemed to be looking for something. When our eyes met, he extended a bloody hand towards me and crawled slowly, on an irregular pace towards the window, away from his enemy who seemed to enjoy his agony as he stood in place and crossed his arms on his chest in order to admire it after he threw the piece of broken glass away. As for me, I didn’t care any longer about what he was doing. All I could see was Seung Hyun’s eyes as he came closer and closer. For some reason, at some point, the whole arena disappeared around us. There was only him and me, now. The blood around his eyes and mouth faded, his clothes were fixed and he was now on his hands and knees, looking at me innocently as if he were just playing around and imitating some animal to make me laugh. But that vision then flickered and, as I shook my head through my tears, asking him silently to stop, the illusions disappeared instantly. There I saw Seung Hyun who had finally kneeled at the window, his chest pressed against it, his face beaten, sweating and dirty, his breathing hoarse and blood streaming down the corners of his mouth and eyes. We were both only inches away from each other. I turned at Joseph for a microsecond, avoiding his gaze.

 

“Please,” I said and wept. “Untie me. Let me talk to him. I’m begging you.”

“Of course,” Joseph said nonchalantly and took out a cutter from his pocket to free me from my bonds. “After all, I’m not a monster.”

 

Ignoring the relief of feeling blood running normally through the veins of my arms again, I fell on my knees and pressed myself against the window, lost in Seung Hyun’s eyes. When I tried to talk to him, I was tongue-tied at first.

 

“H- Hang on! I’ll get you out of there! I promise!” I said as slowly and loudly as I could.

 

This whole situation reminded me of the day we all escaped, back when we barely spoke the same language. As he seemed to think the same thing, he smiled, looking at me so tenderly. I sobbed.

 

“You idiot!” I shouted. “I tried to tell you not to find me! But you never listen! You never did! And now you’re gonna die because of me! Please don’t die! Please!” 

 

As he was still smiling, he put an index on his lips. So I did as he wanted and stopped talking. We both stayed there, staring at each other, reading into each other’s gaze. I realized all we had on our hearts was clearly more visible there than all the words of all languages could aid us to express. He put his hand on the glass and I put mine at the same time as if we were synchronized. Then, as he gently clenched the wall, pretending to hold my hand, he slowly opened his mouth again:

 

“I – love – you.” he mouthed in English and then closed his eyes, leaning on me against the window.

 

I had no more tears to cry. Yet I couldn’t need them more than at this moment. So I just sat there, frozen, watching his body slowly slide and land at my feet. Then, when I finally unfroze after what seemed like an eternity, my brain turned into a volcano and I hit the window with my feet, my fists and my shoulders to break it.

 

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” I yelled at the soldier from afar. “I’LL TEAR YOUR ING EYES OUT! I’LL KILL YOU! COME ON, BASTARD! OPEN THIS ING THING!”

“Not yet. It’s too soon.” I heard Joseph’s voice calmly reply from very close. “You’re too loud. It’s annoying. How about you just sit down and relax a little?”

 

I turned around and saw he was standing right behind me. As I tried to punch him with all my might, he stopped my arm. However, I head-butted him and managed to kick him in the stomach like the boys taught me, forcing him to step back. As I took the iron chair and tried to launch it at the window, he immediately stopped me and threw me to the ground. He then kicked me so hard and so many times I soon stopped struggling, just covering myself and waiting for him to stop, bearing the pain. When I finally heard him puffing and stepping towards the window again, I was a wreck. My whole body hurt and I was half knocked out, vision fading in and out. As my face was burning me and I had trouble breathing correctly, I managed to crawl towards Seunghyun once more and pressed my head against his on the window.  

 

“Like I was saying,” Joseph’s voice replied above my head, “there’s one more left. So stay still and wait for your turn like everybody. I’m pretty sure you won’t have to wait for too long though.” he added with a smirk. “That idiot saved the easiest for last!”

 

I found the courage to raise my head again and watched. As Seungri had headed towards the door and tried to open it again, it was locked. Eventually, he stopped trying and shook like a leaf as the soldier was coming closer and closer to him. He approached slowly, as if he knew the victory was already his. The maknae ran away as fast as he could from the door. How painful it was to see him jump over everyone’s dead bodies! He himself was biting his lips to withhold his tears. The soldier kept walking, just changing directions whenever Seungri did. When he grew impatient and ran towards him as he was stuck a corner, I covered my eyes, unable to take it anymore. 

 

I was afraid of uncovering my face. I thought that once I would, I wouldn’t have any reason to live any longer. I would wait for Joseph’s stupid retort and attack him with my last strengths. No matter what the outcome would be, neither my defeat nor his would satisfy me. It just didn’t matter anymore. However, as I waited for Jo’s cruel words, he remained silent. In fact, silence was golden around me. All I could hear was my own breathing. As I slowly raised my head and took off my hands, I jumped when I felt that another one was grasping my shoulders and turned.

 

IT WAS SEUNGRI!! HE WAS OKAY!!!

 

I looked at him in disbelief, unable to say a single word, all my former emotions suddenly erased of my mind. He looked extremely focused, his jaws tight shut, breathing through his nostrils as if in an effort. He then handed me a box cutter, which I recognized as Joseph’s, and shoved it my hand.

 

“I know you can’t tell,” he said with difficulty, his teeth chattering, “but I’ve been practicing a lot for the last hour!”

 

I stared at him, even more puzzled. What the hell was he talking about? I looked around and saw… everyone was frozen! Even the dust and drops of sweat of the soldier in the arena were suspended in the air like shiny pearls around him as if he was sealed in the glass. We were the only ones alive and moving in the area. Time… had stopped.

 

“Listen to me!” Seungri commanded and moved my chin to make me face him again. “I won’t do this… an endless number of times... It’s already killing me.” he said and I saw him getting paler and paler and his hand was turning ice cold on my shoulder. “This is our last chance. I’ll send us all as far back as I can. But then, everything rests on you! Arrasseo?”

 

I couldn’t believe our maknae was talking to me like that. He had never been so serious and so authoritative before. In fact, he sounded way more like GD than his normal self! I guess he just learned to mimic him well, which was rather efficient! I nodded and gulped.

 

“Arrasseo, dongsaeng.” I said, holding my grip on the cutter, so tight my joints whitened.

 

At these words, he smiled and hugged me before I felt like being propelled backwards on a superfast rollercoaster. I shut my eyes, mouth and hands tight, never letting go of the shiny object. Also from preventing myself from throwing up.

 

When I opened my eyes again, my body wasn’t aching anymore, except my arms. I was intact and tied up tight on the chair again. Joseph was looking at the window with his back on me, and… and… everyone was ALIVE!!! I was so happy I thought I would let out a scream of joy. However, I needed to keep focused. As I analyzed the situation, I felt the reassuring presence of the cutter in my hand and looked at the window: the boys were already having difficulty adjusting to the soldier 2.0 and the bottle of SB was still full and capped in Joseph’s hands. I knew what to do next as I immediately took out the blade and started to tear the plastic bonds on my wrists, keeping an eye on Jo. When the latter turned at me for a second, I froze and felt my heartbeat accelerate as I kept a closed expression, avoiding his gaze, afraid he would read any sign of excitement on my face which I guess he interpreted it as fear, as he turned again to keep watching the combat and I started cutting again.

 

“We took good care of applying the SB everywhere this time. Legs, hands, face, everywhere.” Joseph commented with a satisfied tone.

 

I needed to freeze again when the soldier approached the window to scare me with his inhuman hand.

 

“You’re insane.” I muttered with all the hate I could, hiding the cutter in my sleeve.

 

I lost no time as the soldier walked away to keep fighting the boys. I knew that at this point in time, I had to hurry! I ignored Joseph’s rambling as I tried to remember all the moves the boys taught me for self-defense while I kept cutting and cutting and cutting… At some places, the plastic was so thick the blade almost twisted and broke!

 

“In fact,” I heard Joseph’s fatal words announce, “I’m bored.”

 

Then, everything went as fast as lightning. However, this time, I managed to free myself just in time as he climbed up the stepladder and took out the cap of his bottle. As he had his arms raised, I visualized all his weaker points: face, throat, stomach… I took advantage of the surprise effect and threw a left hook right in his abdomen before I hit his wrist with my left. He easily let go of the bottle, surprised, as I then grabbed it and started spilling its content all over the control table. As the liquid flooded between the buttons, I heard a small buzz, sparkles came out of the giant keyboard and a little black smoke arose in the room. Yet I had barely the time to get rid of all the black goo as I felt myself being violently pushed to the side as I then saw Joseph trying to press buttons: the microphone, the fire alarm, the iron curtain… Nothing. No sound. No power. When he turned at me again, I knew I was finished. He pinned me against the wall and wrested the bottle from my hands.

 

“So you want that agent so much? You want it? Fine, take it! Take it all!”

 

As I could already barely breathe from his weight on me, he caught my jaw with his other hand, forcing me to open it and shoved the neck of the bottle between my lips.

 

“Come on, sweetheart! Let’s see what it does on you since you hate test subjects so much!” Joseph screamed between his gritted teeth.

 

I kept my throat closed as the bitter chemical burned my tongue and the insides of my cheeks, dripping on my chin and on Joseph’s hands. However, as he then dropped the bottle, sealed my mouth with his big hand and held my nose with the other, I had no choice but to swallow. Tears ran down as I felt the acid solution make its way down my stomach and shred my entrails. When he heard me take a big gulp, though he kept me paralyzed, Jo calmed down a little and my hair as he then kissed my forehead. However, in a matter of seconds, I suddenly felt a new powerful energy fill me from the inside, like a gladiator ready for combat! I suddenly gripped both of Joseph’s hands, then pulled him by the hair towards me and forced his mouth opened as I let the rest of the SB flow down his own throat. Though he tried to struggle, as I was now way stronger than him, I shoved my tongue in his mouth like I never dared to before and pushed the last milliliters of the product into his mouth. Jo choked for a second and, as he tried to fight back and we both needed to gasp for air, I swallowed the last drops along with him. 

 

“Cheers, sweetheart.” I whispered in a hoarse voice, wiping my mouth.

 

As soon as he realized what I had just done to him, Joseph lunged at me with crazy eyes, roaring. Thank God the product seemed to spread pretty quickly in my system as I dodged his attack easily. His punch hit the wall and made a hole in the concrete. But he was not done yet. As we both faced each other again, he ragingly tore each monitor of the wall one by one and threw them at me with great speed. I dodged them all again and closed my eyes shut as the monitors all crashed loudly against the window. All this technology, all he had worked for was crumbling before his very eyes. When I opened my eyes again, I felt hands scratch my legs and saw Joseph lying on the floor with black foam on the corners of his mouth, groaning with furious eyes. He looked more like a living dead than a human now. As he kept his head bowed, I was surprised to hear him chuckle as his shoulders suddenly shook with laughter. 

 

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

 

When he raised his head and our eyes met again, he grinned at me.

 

“Well, the funny thing is, even though you managed to destroy their master, your monsters are still gonna die. You wanna know why?”

 

He then pointed a finger at his temple with a mischievous expression and I gasped.

 

“The antidote!” I exclaimed and grabbed him by the collar. “Give me the formula of the antidote! Give it to me!”

 

However, ignoring my cries, he kept laughing, breathing more and more weakly. I let go off him, trying hard not to panic. On the other side of the window, the combat had stopped a long time ago as I could see the soldier and the boys on each side of the crack caused by our fight. This gave me an idea. I took my chair and launched it as hard as I could on the crack. This time, my arms were strong enough as the window finally shattered in pieces.

 

“Seungri!” I yelled his name as soon as he was visible again. “Use your power! Now!”

“What?!” Seungri exclaimed, flabbergasted.

 

Though the soldier tried to attack me and protect his master, the four others boys ran at him and kept him away from the three of us.

 

“I don’t have powers!” Seungri screamed at me. “I thought it was clear enough!”

 

As the soldier shook of his assaulters, he tried to hit the maknae but Taeyang drifted him away in time.

 

“Quit fooling around and use it now! It’s an order!” I barked at him.

“Look out!”

 

I turned my head and saw a huge piece of wall flying in my direction. As I shut my eyes tight, I was suddenly relieved to hear deep silence again. I opened my eyes again and saw the concrete piece floating in midair a few feet away from me. This time, to my surprise, no-one was holding me. I heard the maknae swear in Korean and I looked at him.

 

“God, it’s freezing!” he exclaimed from afar, holding his arms, shivering.  “It’s unbearable!”

 

Suddenly, I heard parts of screams and noise again, as if someone was plugging and unplugging speakerphones repeatedly and I saw the concrete block heading towards the surveillance room in slow motion.

 

“Stop it!” I commanded Seungri. “Just hold on!”

 

“What’s going on?” he asked as time stopped completely again and he looked around, amazed.

 

“No time to explain. Come on!” I said and gestured him to join me.

 

As soon as he was by my side, I brought my face closer to Joseph: thanks to the SB, though time was frozen again, he was still breathing and moving like the both of us. I took his face in my hands and made him look me in the eyes. Suddenly, I realized I had no idea of how Top’s powers worked. Did I even have it at all now?

 

“Tell me your secrets.” I asked softly.

 

To no surprise, Joseph smirked and tried to spit in my face. However, I tightened my grip on his head and glared at him.

 

“Do as I say!” I repeated between my gritted teeth.

 

I didn’t blink nor looked away, staring at him as if I could burn holes in him. This time, as his gaze was locked on mine, his lips opened and whispered things, which I recognized as calculations. I bowed and listened attentively, memorizing it all bit by bit. When I thought he was finished, I tried to get up again when I felt him grab my arm and bring me close again. Then, to my surprise, he looked at me with a hurt expression I’d never seen on him before. 

 

“Every time I said “I love you”, I meant it.” he murmured.

 

I suddenly felt a violent pain in my ribs and was pulled back. I fell down and saw a plastic stick planted in my chest: his box cutter. Seungri took him by the collar and was about to hit him when he finally gave up the ghost. As I had trouble breathing, I tried to take it out but was too weak. Seungri gulped and pulled it out as I then hurriedly pressed my hands and was relieved to feel the blood run normally through my veins. They were burning me though. I suddenly felt exhausted and feverish, as if a dragon was eating me from the inside. I had less time than I thought. My body was giving up.  

 

I dashed out of the room, followed by Seungri, towards the lab and its stash, pried the doors open and took all the products I could. I took a new bottle and all the machines I could to cook the antidote fast. I interrupted my frenzy for a second to throw up but when I raised my head again, the timers of the machines were stopped. Time was slowly coming back to normal though! The maknae collapsed on his knees. I encouraged him to get up but he frantically shook his head.

 

“I can’t – it’s just-” he breathed out so painfully he couldn’t keep his eyes open. “It hurts too much!”

 

I grabbed him by the wrist: it was dead cold. As everything was taking place in slow motion around us, I hugged his icy body and said:

 

“Let me, then.”

 

His frantic breathing slowed down little by little and I felt the cold invade my own hands and feet, then my legs, my arms and my stomach. I felt more and more like I were buried six feet under Antarctica. When I let go of him, though he was still moving, he looked more peaceful than before. The machines buzzed again and I finally took out the bottle which didn’t look different from the normal SB.

 

“Did it work?”

 “There’s only one way to know.” I said and held Seungri a hand to make him stand up.

 

Then, like two soldiers on a battlefield, Seung Hyeon and I supported each other, half-walking, half-staggering, towards the lab again.

 

 “You realize that, when it’s over, you’ll get rid of the power you just found out today?” I asked Seungri.

“Yeah, I know. And I can’t wait!” he exclaimed. “Please get me rid of that! All I want is a hot bath right now!”

I smiled, ignoring my increasing nausea.

“Yeah, now I definitely understand why you want to get rid of that SB junk. It tastes like rotten eggs.” I replied, which made him chuckle.

 

Back to the surveillance room, I went to the machine and used all my might to lift the light led, poured it all in, then collapsed from the stepladder. I then told Seung Hyeon to press the alarm button and run. I heard him protest but didn’t listen. My vision was getting dark and everything was hurting from my head to my toes. However, as time went back to normal, I heard noise, the concrete block shatter the wall next to me and squash Joseph’s corpse along with Seungri screaming in Korean. I smiled when I recognized four other familiar voices respond and the reassuring shriek of the fire alarm. But then, when I managed to open my eyelids one last time, I was horrified to see all five boys by my side again and shook my head as I heard the rain outside.

 

“Go.” I managed to articulate.

However, I then saw Seunghyung wounded face come close to mine and heard his soothing voice:

“We are not going anywhere without you.”

I shook my head again as hard as I could as I then felt five pair of hands drag me around.

“No-” I mumbled and coughed.

 

There was no time. The rain would only last for a few seconds and my body couldn’t stand the overdose anymore. This was their only chance! Yet I was too weak to keep struggling and let them do as they wished. Our little group slowly passed the broken window and brought me into the bright light of the arena once again, unless maybe I was already seeing the white light awaiting me. I felt water hit my face, my neck, my chest and then, several silhouettes surrounded mine and we all hugged each other tight as the chemical black rain hit the five of us. As I lost consciousness, I remembered our day at the beach when they lifted me and brought me to the sea. I lulled myself to the sound of imaginary waves.

 

I can’t go on. I just can’t. I need to stop for tonight. This is probably the most horrible thing that ever happened to me and I need at least a few good hours of sleep before I go on about this night.

 

Joan.