Hey, journal.

I screwed up. I mean, everything went fine but in the end, I still screwed up. Badly. I still see Seungri young Seunghyun’s* glare in my mind and I can’t find sleep. I wish I could apologize to my favorite panda-maknae but he wouldn’t let me even after my fifth attempt that evening. 

 

*I asked them if I should call them by their first names and they told me they didn’t care. As for me, it doesn’t make any difference. “What’s in a name? A rose is a rose and it still smells good” like someone said. Or something like that o_O

 

Last time I wrote, it was early in the morning as we spent the night in the municipal park (the buildings I thought belonged to another city turned out to just be the opposite district of where my mum and her boyfriend live :-/). 

However, as they took the occasion to train a little in the park, they managed to teach me a few good close-combat moves before sleep, with Taeyang being the teacher and the others followed. They were all so different then! When Taeyang was in charge, everyone would do as he says and eat humble pie whenever he corrected their moves or called them to order. He himself looked so changed! So serious and methodic! He would even manipulate me like a puppet to correct my position without neither blushing nor looking at his shoes at any moment! That is until I smiled at him and for a second, shy Taeyang was back ^^ 

In the end, it became my training alone as a few young girls and guys who were passing by encouraged me while I tried to punch Taeyang and he would counter all my moves with one hand behind his back without breaking a sweat. When I finally managed to punch him in the stomach (and almost broke my fingers in the process T_T) I whooped as he grinned, having barely felt a thing yet the small crowd that had gathered around us cheered :D 

I’ll never be scared of walking alone in the streets late at night ever again! Well, a little less scared, at least. I can defeat rats and midgets with my bare hands now :P 

 

Today, when we came back in our district at dusk, Joseph and the militaries were gone, either because they had given up or because they probably started to look suspicious to the neighbors. We entered the building, climbed up the six floors and crashed as soon as we went inside. Again, sounds like a flashback of the first night. The boys had decided to spend that time finishing their night but I chose not to and summed up that beautiful Tuesday on my computer while taking a peek at their exhausted sleepy heads from my door from time to time. They looked so peaceful ^^   

 

However, when they woke up a few hours later, Daesung didn’t get up from the couch where he was sleeping. The others tried to taunt him and incite him to get up but when he turned his face and they saw he was awake and breathing weakly, they stopped right away and brought me to the living-room. As I checked on him, his eyes were barely open and his lips were forming words every time he would breathe out. The others said his words were incoherent and that he did not seem to listen to them or even hear them. He was delirious. His teeth were shattering yet, as I touched his brow to check, he did not have a fever. We carried him to my room as I laid him on the bed and covered him with a blanket. There, he stopped mumbling and fell asleep, or rather fainted while lying down. His hands were full of red patches too. Could it be another effect from the SB detox? Should we have called a doctor? As we discussed it together, the interphone rang. I knew that Mum and Kwan were supposed to be back either today or tomorrow so when I heard it, I felt a little nervous knowing that now was the time to explain them how we blew up half of their living-room and the window of their bedroom. But when I looked at the screen, I didn’t see anybody and when I picked up the phone, I didn’t recognize Mum’s voice. 

 

“Joan, it’s me. I’m back.” 

I identified the man’s voice immediately.

“Hello, Joseph.” I said sternly as he appeared on the little screen. 

 

When they heard the name, the boys arrived and Taeyang looked at the window, gesturing me to approach: the truck was back as well as a couple guards dressed as civilians as they stood there, surveying both sidewalks. However, we could see their weapons on the side of their belts when they turned. Now we were sure there was no way we could bring a doctor. 

 

“How’ve you been doing since yesterday?”

“Fine, and you?” I said, copying his breezy tone.

“Fine. Just like any single dad in the world.” he said and smiled at the camera.

“I’m not giving you the boys back.” I cut the act and said in a firm tone.

 

His smile then turned into a grin.

 

“Of course. I knew you’d say that… which is why I thought about bringing a surprise for you today!”

As he kept on smiling, he brought his phone out of his pocket and typed a certain combination then brought its screen close to the camera.

 

It was a Skype conversation. The scenery the other phone was filming at was a busy highway with gingko trees on the sides at the exit of a city. The green sign on the side of the road said “SEOUL” in both capital Romanian letters and Korean signs. In front of the sign, four people were standing: two young men in black armed with guns, standing on each side of a couple civilians, an Asian man and a Black woman. One of the young men was holding a newspaper with today’s date to the camera and the other one had a digital watch indicating around 9am. Both of the civilians had their hands tied up on the front with plastic bracelets and were gagged and blindfolded with black cloths. 

 

“That’s…” I muttered and felt my blood run cold in my veins.

“Of course,” Joseph declared enthusiastically, “since you could believe this is recorded, I made sure my “goons” would think about posing next the SEOUL sign with newspapers from today and a watch so you wouldn’t be confused. How is it going, guys?” he said to the phone.

“We’re good!” the voice of the third man holding the phone said.

“Would you like to say Hello to them?” Joseph asked me.

“Good morning, miss!” the young man exclaimed. “Your mum says hi!”

 

His remark was followed by sneers from both guards.

 

“Guys, don’t be so vulgar.” Joseph commanded them coldly through the phone and they stopped laughing. “You’re talking my girlfriend’s mother!”

“This isn’t my mother.” I declared looking at her from head to toe.

 

I refused to believe it was her. Although both my mother and the person who was being filmed had a similar corpulence, both hostages were filmed from quite a distance, about 6 or 7 feet away from the camera. Plus since they were so covered, of course they could like anybody. Who wouldn’t in these circumstances?

 

“You hid half of her face. I don’t recognize her. Whoever these people are, let them go!” I ordered. “They have nothing to do with this!”

 

“Do they? Would you like me to put you through to one of them, just in case?” Joseph asked.

I hesitated.

“Yes, please. Let me talk to her.” I declared sternly.

“No problem. Guys, did you hear?”

“Right away, boss.”

 

The man with the camera came closer to the woman on the left and, as they took of her gag, I saw her lips were trembling. However, they brought the phone to her ear so I couldn’t see her face anymore.

 

“Baby? Is that you?”

 

Her voice was low and shaking with fear. However, her intonations were pretty similar to Mum’s.

“Miss,” I asked calmly. “are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

“Where are you? Tell me what’s going on, baby!”

Through the interferences of the phone, her commanding voice also sounded the same. Could it really be my mum after all? Was my biggest fear coming true?

“Mum, it’s okay. It has nothing to do with you. I’ll tell you all. But first, we’ll get you out of this!” I assured her. 

“Baby, help us please! I don’t wanna die!” she suddenly started to choke and her voice was interrupted by sobs.

I could hear the man next to her cry too through his gag too. 

“It’s okay, mum. Don’t panic! Please, don’t cry! I’m so sorry I got you into this! It’s all my fault. But I’ll get you out of this! I promise! Don’t…”

 

The man suddenly hung off and I faced Joseph through the screen of the interphone again.

 

“I guess you can imagine how it goes from this point on: let me help you bring these five things back to the lab and let’s work FOR THEM, need I remind you, together again… or let an accident happen to the woman who brought you into the world. Time is ticking and I will not give you all day. Make it quick.”

 

When the boys saw me petrified, they asked me what was going on and I tried to translate them all again but I was suddenly interrupted by Joseph’s clear fluent Korean followed by a long silence as I hung up. In the meantime, Joseph stood there, leaning on one of the walls with a book and greeted a mum and her kid casually while they entered the building. 

 

Now it was all between me, GD, Taeyang, Seungri and Top. G-Dragon was the first to start:

 

“I don’t think this is real. She said her mother would be back from Seoul tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, but she might have been on her way back this morning.” Taeyang said.

“So what?” GD asked. “They could still be actors! Anyone can film themselves in front of a sign and make somebody cry. After all, a lot of people worked in the lab, including people who looked like these two!”

“But what if they were not actors? What if the woman really was Joan’s mom?” Taeyang asked. “We can’t have her killed to save us. She barely knows who we are!”

“I’m not going back there.” Seungri whispered, staring at the floor. “I’ll never go back there. Never again.”

 

The four of us stood there and there was a small silence during which I let my tears fall on the ground. I hid my head in my hands to prevent them from falling even more.

 

“You’re right. You are all right, guys. Then what should I do?”

As I tried to wipe my tears and keep my eyes dry, I saw G-Dragon glare at Top who was sitting on a chair with his arms crossed, staring at something on the wall we couldn’t see.

 

“Yah, hyung! Do you mind helping us here? We’re trying to figure something out together!”

“I never said you weren’t.”

 

Infuriated by his detached tone, GD’s eyes glowed with a dangerous light.

 

“You know…” he started. “You’ve been pretty useless these last days. I hope you’re aware of that. Ever since your fit at the mall, all you’ve been doing is saying nothing, doing nothing and let us do all the job. Just like the old days… You might be the oldest, hyung, but you’re definitely the most useless of us all!”

“You’re getting annoying, Jiyong.” Top simply replied.

 

In the blink of an eye, G-Dragon lunged himself at his elder and was stopped just in time by Taeyang, although he struggled pretty strongly in his arms.

 

“Don’t you dare call me that!” he yelled at him. “Don’t you ever call me by my first name! I’ll never allow you to!”

“Enough!” I shouted at them.

 

As I heard a voice calling my name, I went to the bedroom and saw Daesung was still asleep, shaking his head left and right frantically. He had been calling me in a nightmare.

 

“It’s okay, Daesung. I’m here.” I said and held his eczematous hand.

 

When he calmed down, his hand became numb and I let go of it as the room became quiet again. G-Dragon had followed me and was now standing next to me, watching him sleep.

 

“We can’t take let them take him. If they see him like this, maybe they’ll kill him. Maybe he’ll die on the way to the lab.”

“I know.”

 

I took my head in my hands and let go of my tears again.

 

“But I still don’t know what’s wrong with him. I don’t know how to cure any of you guys. I can’t. I can’t…”

 

As painful as it was, the solution was clear to me. When I ran back to the entrance and was about to pick up the phone again, Seungri grabbed my wrist and made me turn at him.

 

“Don’t. Please.” he said in a low voice, looking at me. For the first time, instead of sad puppy-dog’s eyes, he watched me with serious, scared, pleading ones.

“They’re gonna kill my mum!” I said through my sobs. “I can’t let that happen. Don’t worry, Joseph and I will help you. It’s gonna be fine, I swear!”

 

As I tried to reassure him, he walked away, barely listening to me anymore. He obviously did not believe me. To be honest, I’m not sure I believed my own words either. As I picked up the phone and opened my mouth to tell my answer, I was suddenly pushed to the side by Top as he hung up the receiver.

 

“Don’t move.” he ordered the boys as he stared at each of them and opened the door.

 

When I saw the boys literally frozen in place, struggling to move, I realized they had been hypnotized. I hadn’t noticed Top’s black eye was now fully healed! So I ran after him in the hallway, trying to bring him back inside.

 

“Stop it! I said stop! Don’t go! If you kill them, my mum is dead for sure! Please, stop!” I screamed and tried to pull him by the shoulder.

 

However, he just shrugged my hands off, never looking back at me once and kept walking straightforward like a robot towards the elevator. When I tried to get in with him, he pushed me out with both hands as the door closed on him. I then ran down the stairs, panicked, so fast I almost fell a couple times. My head was buzzing with questions. Could I arrive in time to stop him? How could he think hurting Joseph would help my mum? Unless he was just trying to escape on his own? That was impossible! He would be caught in a second unless he could hypnotize them all at once! For that matter, why didn’t he try to hypnotize me to stop me this time? 

 

When I finally arrived, I heard the sound of male voices roaring with laughter, so loud it startled me at first. As I walked further towards the main entrance, I then saw the guards laughing at Top who was just standing still in front of them, staring at their faces, never blinking once. Joseph was also there, horrified, his eyes widening more and more with every second. I looked at him confused and, when I tried to reach him, Top stopped me with a gesture of his hand without breaking eye-contact with the three of them.

 

“Oh my God! Mum, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you lived here! Guys, why didn’t you tell me we were threatening my mother all this time? Mum, it’s okay, don’t cry.” he said as he rushed towards Top and hugged him very gently like a very old person. “It’s all just a prank, don’t worry! Here, let me show you,” he said and called a number.

 

“Hello?” I heard the voice of the man behind the camera ask.

 “It’s me.” Joseph’s voice became cold again. “Can you call me by Skype? I want to see how everybody’s doing.”

“Sure.”

 

The man hung off and a few seconds later, Skype was on again. As I managed to glance at it, I saw the same four people than before, now standing next to a car at a gas station, talking, eating snacks and smoking cigarettes. The Asian man and the Black woman, looking now slimmer and younger, waved at the man’s camera, smiling. A bag of cushions and wigs was standing next to the woman’s feet.

 

“You see?” Joseph told Top and hung off. “Don’t worry, we’ll go now. Say hi to your nurse for me! Hello doggie!” he said as he passed next to me and ruffled my hair. 

 

I watched everybody leave, confused, as they got back in their vehicles and drove away. When we were alone again, I blinked and looked at Top.

 

“Call your mother.” he said.

 

I was so flabbergasted I had turned brainless. So when he gave me that order, I obeyed robotically. When I heard my mum’s voice however, I quickly came back to my senses.

 

“Mum? Is that you? Where are you? How is Kwan? Are you at the clinic? Are you okay?”

“Wow, Joan, slow down! Jeez, I don’t understand a word you’re saying!” Mum whined. “What the heck are you talking about? Of course I’m at the clinic! Where else could I be?”

 

I felt tears well up in my eyes.

 

“Are you okay?” 

“Of course, I’m okay! And so is Kwan. Why are you asking me? What’s going on? What did you do?”

 

Listening to her annoyed tone, I let tears fall and smiled.

 

“Nothing. Everything is fine, mum! I just wanted to know how you’ve been doing since last time!”

“Well, as you can hear, I’m okay. Even though I’m still waiting for your call and not just three words on an answering machine! Kwan and I’ll be back tomorrow. I hope you and your friends didn’t set fire to the apartment!”

 

At these words, I couldn’t help but laugh and cry at the same time.

 

“Baby? Is everything okay?” she asked, worried.

“Yes. It’s okay. Everything is okay, mum! We’re okay!” I exclaimed joyfully.

“Good…” she replied, although I could tell she was not convinced. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then-” 

“Mum…”

“Yes?”

I took a deep breath. I had no idea what I was about to tell her but for some reason, whatever it was, I knew I had to tell her this instant:

“I know we didn’t get along much because of each other’s choices. You know, your departure to Korea, me and Joseph… Nevertheless, I just wanted to tell you that… I love you, mum. I love you so much!”

“Aw, is that why you’re crying? I love you too! How could you believe the opposite, silly? You know you will always be my baby girl, no matter what choice you make in life! Now, now, dry your eyes and hang up with a smile, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow, baby!”

“Bye, mummy.”

 

After I hang up, I got up the stairs again without waiting for Top. Joy was giving me wings! When I arrived at the apartment, even though I was exhausted, I still ran towards the boys who had just unfrozen and hugged GD and Taeyang at the same time (almost strangling them in the process :3).

 

“You were right! It was all a set-up! Jo is gone and Mum will be back tomorrow!”

“We know.” GD said when we parted and pointed at what Top had been staring at on the wall, which was the calendar with the big black cross on Thursday. “It was in front of us this whole time.”

 

When Top arrived by the elevator in my back, he remained expressionless when our eyes met.

 

“You’re welcome.” he said in a neutral tone.

Feeling overwhelmed with gratitude, I threw caution to the wind and held him tight in my arms, planting a big smooch on his cheek in the process.

“Thank you so much.”  I whispered against his ear, not caring that he didn’t hug me back. 

 

Yet when I parted from him, I realized his breathing had fastened a little and his black piercing eyes were staring intensely at mine. I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed as the blood rose to my cheeks and I looked down at the ground, feeling my heart flutter for no reason.    

 

“I guess I also owe apologies to my hyung.” G-Dragon said and smirked.

“That’s alright. I always know what to say to piss you off at maximum.” Top replied and smiled.

 

I hadn’t seen Top smile in a while. Actually, I think it was even the first time I did. I was glad and relieved to know that he had teeth like the rest of us J.

 

However, not everybody was smiling. Seungri stood in the back, leaning against a wall. If his eyes could throw daggers, I would be dead by now. Not that I don’t understand why he’s so mad at me. I mean, without Top, he would be sleeping in his cell tonight!

 

When we heard Daesung’s voice, we all rushed to the bedroom and saw him awake, sitting on his bed. Even his hands were healed. He told us he had a nightmare, which always happens when he goes to bed angry. When we asked him why he was angry, he bowed his head.

 

“It’s because of what Joan-noona said, about going back to school and saying goodbye. I hated her because of what she said and I hated myself for hating her. Yet she kept saying all these things I didn’t want to hear about starting a new life. I don’t want to start a new life. I like my life as it is! I want it to last forever, with all of you by my side. I don’t want to say goodbye. To any of you. Ever.” he said and his voice became weaker and weaker as he kept talking, bringing his knees to his chest as if he were suddenly very cold. 

 

At this moment, as we were all standing /sitting around him, when we looked at each other, we felt pretty moved and all bear hugged him at the same time, which turned into a surprise group hug as he happily gave in and smiled his happy smile again.

 

“Daedae,” I said. “It’s time you learn the difference in English between “goodbye” and “farewell”. Because there’s no way I’m letting any of you go until you know the difference by heart!”

 

This time, Seungri was the only one to not participate to the hug. Standing at the door with his arms crossed, he kept glaring at me then turned his back and went to the living-room where he laid on the couch and pretended to sleep for the rest of the day. This time, no-one dared to disturb him.

 

It’s nighttime and I still can’t sleep. I’ll go make some infusion to see if it helps.

 

Great, now I can sleep even less. Why does s#!t like that always happen at night? I got to be ready for tomorrow though :-/. After all, my mum is coming and we still haven’t replaced anything in her home! It’s 1 in the morning. I guess I still have plenty of time to sum up what the f*¤k happened just now.

 

As I went through the living-room to go to the kitchen, I saw a shadow sitting in the dark before the window. When I came closer, I recognized Top, his eyes glowing in the dark like a feline’s. I went to the kitchen and came back next to him as I took a chair and handed him a hot cup.  

 

“Can’t sleep either?”

 

He didn’t answer and put his cup down as soon as he had it in his hands. I ignored it and sat down, seeping slowly on mine as we watched the city lights.

 

“I’ve never seen you fall asleep anyway. And here I was starting to think you’re a bit human this morning!” I whispered with a wry smile.

“I don’t want to talk.”

 

I sighed.

 

“Surprise, surprise… Well, you can still listen, then.” I started and took a deep breath. “I know you don’t like me very much. To be honest, I don’t like you either. But I just wanted to thank you again for what you did. You saved me. You saved us all.”

 

Of course, he didn’t reply.

 

“I wish Seungri could understand that.” I went on sadly. “But I guess what I did was truly unforgivable. He trusted me with his life and I betrayed him.”

“It wasn’t betrayal.” Top suddenly declared. “You tried to protect the one you cared the most about.”

 

I looked at him a little distrustful.

 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care a lot about you, guys!”

“I know. Some of us will still count more than others,” Top replied, thoughtful. “starting with mothers.”

 

The way he said that simple truth was so clear and so honest, there was no way I could keep on justifying myself.

 

“They do.” I admitted sheepishly. “Even though I can’t let you make me say that you’re not important to me, I’m glad to see you are that comprehensive. I guess you’re not an arrogant after all. Actually,” I said and frowned. “there’s something I wanted to ask you for a long time…”

 

Top turned towards me with a questioning look.

 

“Is it about when I collapsed during lunch because I tried to hypnotize you with just one eye?”

“No, it’s not that- oh my God, you were?!” I almost exclaimed. “I can’t believe it! Thank you, SB detox, then! You really ARE an !”

 

He grinned at that statement. I’m starting to like that smile more and more.

 

“I’m kidding (oh, are you o_O?). It’s about what I told you at the mall, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

 

He paused, obviously selecting his words with great caution.

 

“First of all, of all the things I said, the first half basically meant “F you”.”

I chuckled.

“I knew it!”  

“Second, the other half meant…” he went on more slowly. “…that you were lucky you saved us. Otherwise I would have crushed your bones with my bare hands like a porcelain doll a long time ago.” 

 

He paused again, probably regretting it already.

“Is that why the others looked so shocked?” I asked.

 

“No. That’s when I said that I would not have been the only one to do that. And that since the others were craving for a free exit ticket and a free home, we decided to let you live a little longer.”

 

As he was done, there was a sudden awkward silence between us. I frowned.

 

“So the others thought you were telling the truth?”

“That’s what we would talk about without you.” he confessed. “It’s not that we hated you but we were desperate back then. We would have done anything to survive. Besides, ever since we first saw you, we thought you looked and sounded ridiculous: so noisy, so weak, so fragile… We could not believe we let you scream at us like that even though we could snap your neck anytime.”

“Snap my neck?” I repeated and raised an eyebrow.

 

Top smirked.

 

“Ok, maybe that part was just me. But since the others replied they would snap my neck first, I shut up and went with the flow.”

 

I giggled at it then became a little more thoughtful.

 

“You’re partly right, though. I guess I am that fragile.”

“That’s what I thought at first. But then I realized I was wrong. You are much stronger than you seem.”

“You can’t be serious, Top.” I declared in a direct tone. “I almost sold you this morning!”

“Well,” he shrugged and gave me a wry smile. “I wouldn’t sell anybody’s mother for an like me.”

 

I forced myself to smile at it. In the dim light filtering through the window from the outside, his eyes suddenly darkened and he stared at me as if he could look into my soul.

 

“But maybe I would give ten times more for a girl like you.” he murmured softly.

 

As our chairs were very close to one another, I saw him lean forward and, as our faces became closer and closer to one another, I felt my heart pound like crazy in my chest. I suddenly remembered the feeling I had in the bathroom the day he tricked me and I felt myself blush. However, when there was less than an inch between our mouths, I moved my head back.

 

“Is this another one of your illusions?” I asked in a low voice.

 

However, he cupped my face and closed his eyes as he brought me closer again. We finally kissed and I felt the whole world disappear around us. His lips, his skin were more eloquent than any word he could have said. I could feel his pleasure, his desire, his care… However, as he lowered his hands to my hips and slipped his tongue in my mouth, I pushed him lightly to make him move back, parted from him and bowed my head, waiting for my heavy breathing to calm down.

 

“This isn’t… I don’t think we should. This isn’t right.”

Although he tried to reach me again, I kept my arms extended between us and he let go of me with a sad look.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“I see.” he said and sounded resigned. “Good night.”

 

He then slowly got up and walked towards the couch on which he laid down next to Seungri and turned his back on me. I took both of our cups, still full and cold, and brought them back to the kitchen. Then, as I felt remorseful, I went to the closet, took a blanket and put it on Top’s shoulders, just like he did to me the first night we arrived (I’m sure it was him now).

However, as I then walked to my bedroom, I jumped when I felt someone grab my arm and saw it was G-Dragon who was still awake.

“Why did you do it?” he whispered. “Why didn’t you say you love him too?”

I looked at him in the dark, hoping the others wouldn’t hear us.

“I think this is none of your business. But if you really want to know” I said as he didn’t let go of me, “let’s just say that it’s because… well, you’re the boys and I’m the noona. That’s it.”

“Are you thinking about Joseph’s words? About you sleeping with one of us?” he asked me and I bit my lips.

“Good night, GD.” I said and managed to free myself from his grip.

I locked myself to make sure nobody would come into my room tonight. As I’m typing, I’m not sure if I want to cry or pat myself in the back for what I did. I think I did the right thing though. Top and the others don’t have any memory of anybody else but the team from the lab and me so their judgment is still pretty limited in many fields in term of beauty and affection, obviously. Besides, what would our life be like? Me, preventing him from killing people while we’re on dates? Tell him not to threaten his future boss? I wouldn’t mind providing for the both of us if he can’t find a job. But then, would I let him take care of our children? Take them to school? Teach them the right things like expressing themselves instead of keeping it all in? Make friends? What if he regretted to be with me? What if he felt locked up with me? What if he was tired of me treating him as a child?

Does he even want children? I know I want some. I want two, or maybe three. Joseph didn’t want to have kids, which I didn’t mind because I loved him. But I’m 27. My mum had me when she was 25. I know I still got plenty of time to think about it, especially in 2015, with new technology and stuff but… I’m not eternal. Time is ticking away. I heard about the risks the more you wait. I love the boys with all my might. But they should know they are not the only things I’m thinking about.

Silly me! Why do I even think about that now? Typical me! Just one kiss and I’m already thinking about marriage, kids, house on the countryside… Good thing we didn’t fully make out O_o! It’s just a kiss. And I said we weren’t meant to be. Moving on.   

 

My mum left me a message. She’ll be here at 11 am. I got to remember that.

Joan <3