"YAH! SANDARA PARK! WAKE UP ALREADY!"

I groaned in frustration as I lazily wake up. The fuming Bomination welcomed me as she looked at me with her oh-so-piercing eyes. I stared at the clock to see it was already 8 o'clock. Graduation is an hour! I just don't feel like waking up. 2 days ago, I just feel my world spinning around, I couldn't think properly after Bom told me that Jiyong loves me. Jiyong, my bestfriend since high school. How can that be possible?

but again. Nothing is impossible.

I wanted to approach him to apologize to him for what I had said to him, but Sohee never left his side. It was as if they already started dating. I was sulking around for 2 freaking days. I didn't come for the last day of school. The last day of high school. I just want to avoid him. I'm just so confused right now. Confused with my own feelings. How can I possibly not realizing his attentions to me all this long? Am i really that stupid and slow to realize all of this? Am i the only person who never figure out about his feelings to me?

And was the teasing just another way of him to hide his feelings? He should've just be honest to me. But again, I'm the stupid one here. The stupid one who thought Kim Jaejoong was the one.

I groaned in frustration once again at the thought of meeting Jaejoong later on the graduation ceremony. and even worse, I'm gonna meet Jiyong too. How can I face both of them? Can I just not come today? Can I just skip graduation and goes to college? Can I just skip today?  "YAH! Will you stop spacing out and get dress? We're going to be late!" Bom exploded as I covered my ears because of her high-pitched voice. Seriously, she should debut as a singer! Her voice is no joke.

I lazily got up,  went for a quick shower and get dressed.

---

The graduation ceremony ended so fast that I didn't even realize High school is finally coming to an end. I shed tears and bid goodbyes to my classmates and teachers. High school has been great. I went through a lot in my high school life but I had never regretted any of it. I will never get throught those hardships if it wasn't for Jiyong. I met Jiyong when I started high shool. When I met him, he was there for me when I wanted to give up studying. He motivated me when I didn't feel like studying. He cheered me up when I was upset. He teased me but he's the only who could make me smile.

I only see him nothing but a bestfriend.. but not until, Prom Night. It was my first time seeing him look like.. a man. Well he is a man afterall. but what i mean is, it was my first time seeing him as more than a bestfriend. I wandered around but there was no sign of Jiyong. I haven't seen him ever since I got here. I can't see any Blonde haired guy here.

"Dara. We're going to the after party. Are you coming?" Bom made me snap back into reality. "Have you seen Jiyong?" I asked, not answering her question. Bom looked around and scanned her surrounding. I saw her shook her head. "no. I haven't seen him since I got here. Try asking Youngbae. He's over there!" Bom pointed at a direction where Youngbae was talking to the other members of Big Bang. 

I approached Youngbae. "Youngbae-ah. Have you seen Jiyong? I need to talk to him" I asked. Youngbae creased his forehead in confusion as the other 3 members : Seunghyun, Daesung and Seungri looked at me with the same expression as Youngbae's. "Don't you know, noona?" I heard him asked.

I slightly pouted and shook my head. "He went to New York. Just yesterday. He got an offer at some college in New York by Mr. Choi. He didn't tell you?" He explained. "I thought you knew, Noona" Seungri stated. I parted my lips to speak but I couldn't utter any word. No words could come out. He went to New York without telling me? Without even a word to me? Even how mad he is to me, he should've just tell me he's going!

"But he did left you a note, though.." Youngbae said as he took something out of his pocket. Youngbae reached for my hand to give me a familiar pink small notes. My eyes widened to see that pink small note again, Its been awhile since KJ send it to me. I unfold the pink small note slownly. I read the note... It was just a simple note but I feel like  crying right now. The note he wrote was as if he just admitted that he's Kwon Jiyong. The one who has been sending me the notes was Kwon Jiyong. The one who has been saying sweet things was Kwon Jiyong.

Kwon Jiyong. How can his name be so beautiful in my ears right now? It was a music to my ear. How can I feel my heart racing right now when I re-read the notes? Am I in love with my own bestfriend?How can I not feel like this before he left Korea?

He wrote :

Take care while I'm gone, Sandara Park. Sorry for not telling you everything, sorry for not telling you that I'm going. This is my last farewell.

Love,

KJ.

what people say is true. You never realize how much you value that person and how much he had done for you, until he's gone.