He couldn’t quite remember what he’d been doing when it happened, but when Chanyeol awoke, he was on the floor of his living room - looking up into the worried, tear-stained face of Baekhyun.

“Oh, thank God!” sobbed the older man.

He lunged toward Chanyeol, nearly toppling the tall man over once again as the latter attempted to sit up. Baekhyun passed quickly through the other man after encountering a slight resistance, however, so the two sat side by side on the glossed, wooden floor while Chanyeol tried to regain his bearings.

“What the heck happened?” he moaned, and Baekhyun flittered nervously.

“You fell,” explained Baekhyun. “I didn’t know what to do, and I couldn’t call anyone, and I was so scared, and you-”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” reassured Chanyeol - though he wasn’t entirely sure that it was.

His head still felt fuzzy, and he couldn’t shake the vague sensation of nausea that tugged at his stomach. Chanyeol recalled that he had been feeling slightly under the weather for the past couple of days, and assumed that ignoring it had resulted in his condition growing worse.

“I guess I’m just coming down with something,” he sighed to Baekhyun. “I’ve felt kinda funny lately; must’ve caught something.”

“Where would you catch anything?” questioned Baekhyun worriedly. “You hardly even leave the house.”

That was true, but Chanyeol didn’t especially appreciate the older man bringing it up after he had just gotten into a similar argument with Kyungsoo. He turned away to hide his frown while trying to laugh the other man’s comment off.

“That’s probably why my immune system is compromised,” he chuckled. “I’ll drink some orange juice and be good as new; don’t you worry.”

“I do worry…” muttered Baekhyun. “What if you pass out again? I can’t do anything. I can’t resuscitate you, I can’t call anyone to help you, I can’t-”

Chanyeol cut the older man off once again as he started to ramble. The former put a reassuring hand on his companion’s shoulder, and looked into his brown eyes as reassuringly as he possibly could.

“Stop focusing on what you can’t do,” commanded Chanyeol, “and start thinking about what it is that you can. You can sit here with me and support me if it happens again. That’s good enough for me.”

“But that’s not good enough, and you know it,” whined Baekhyun. “You might need medical assistance, and I… I can’t give that to you.”

“If I have you to come back to, I’ll always come back,” promised Chanyeol. “But let’s not make a bigger deal of this than it really is, okay? Yes; I fainted one time - but maybe that’ll be it. It’s been a while since I ate anything; I don’t even think we took a break for lunch.”

✵

Baekhyun agreed that a combination of an oncoming cold and forgetting to eat could very well be the cause of Chanyeol’s fainting episode - but the older man wasn’t so quick to dismiss it completely. He became somewhat obsessive about making sure that Chanyeol was getting enough food and drink - two things that the ghost himself didn’t usually have reason to give a second thought to.

“Have you had breakfast?” asked Baekhyun when he came through the closed front door the next day. “Are you drinking enough fluids? You remembered the glass of water I told you to keep by your bed last night, right?”

“Good morning, Baek.” Chanyeol ignored the young man’s nagging. “How are you doing today?”

“How are you doing?” countered Baekhyun. “Are you feeling better? Still sick? Are you sure you don’t want to call the doctor, Chanyeol?”

“I’m sure,” the younger man stated firmly. “I feel fine. And I really just want to spend the day with you.”

In truth, Chanyeol was feeling even worse than the day before. He was constantly shaking, and his hands felt so clammy and wet that he had barely been able to hold onto his spoon during breakfast. Baekhyun didn’t need to know that, however, as Chanyeol thought that it would only cause the other man unnecessary worry.

“Say, I was thinking…” began Baekhyun, as he twirled his left foot. “Would you like to maybe… go out? Like, do something, I mean.”

Chanyeol didn’t think he was really up for leaving the apartment in his current, distressed state, but he was more afraid of disappointing the other man - or losing an opportunity to spend time with him.

“Sure,” replied Chanyeol with a slightly shaking voice. “What did you happen to have in mind?”

Baekhyun blushed, and his face was shaded with the same hint of soft purple tinge that Chanyeol had fallen in love with the first time he’d seen it. The older man coughed once before shifting his feet as he gave his answer.

“I was actually thinking that maybe we could see a movie,” suggested Baekhyun. “I’m getting used to interacting with things again, so I still can’t do much - in the physical world, I mean - but I can at least stare at a screen, and it looked like there were some interesting films when I checked out the theatre yesterday. Plus, there’s an odd kind of… nostalgia, I guess, about the whole thing. So, what do you say?”

Chanyeol said that he thought it was a wonderful idea, and ten minutes later he was sitting on the bus, with Baekhyun in the plastic chair next to him. The taller man felt like a little bit of a jerk as he stretched his arm over the sitting area to his right, as to the other passengers it would look like he was simply taking up more than his fair share of room. Baekhyun had wanted to ride with him on the bus, however, as the older man said that he wanted to share the experience. So, Chanyeol guarded his invisible cohort, and before too long they arrived at the theatre - taking two seats close to the area where they had first confronted each other.

✵

“This is a good movie,” Baekhyun whispered halfway through - though he could have spoken at a regular volume, as no one but Chanyeol would’ve been able to hear him. “I love the plot.”

Chanyeol nodded in agreement, but that was mainly because he felt too sick to speak. There was simultaneously nothing precise that he could pinpoint as being wrong with him, yet at the same time he was consumed by a general feeling of upset and dread. The young man took a shallow, gasping breath as he tried to keep his eyes focused on the screen. To Chanyeol, the film was a dizzying mess of colors and sounds, and he couldn’t have managed to have less of a clue about what the plot itself consisted of. Baekhyun’s hand was resting both on top and slightly inside of Chanyeol’s, and the older man turned to glance at him as a look of concern spread across the older man’s face.

“Yeol, are you okay?” he asked slightly more loudly. “You’re not; are you? You’re gonna faint again. God, I was stupid. Why did I have to insist on bringing you here?”

“It’s fine,” gasped Chanyeol. “I wanted to come.”

“We’re leaving,” ordered Baekhyun. “You’re sick; we shouldn’t be here. It’s too dangerous for-”

Chanyeol had started to stand up, but toppled over as soon as he did so. He heard Baekhyun screaming in his ear as someone in front of him gasped, and then the world went dark as he sank into unconsciousness.

✵

When he woke up, Chanyeol was lying in a hospital bed, and Kyungsoo was hovering next to the young man, staring down at the former as he shivered under a thin blanket.

“Where’s Baekhyun?!” blurted Chanyeol as he shot up in bed, causing several machines to beep wildly before he calmed himself down.

The glowing blue man was nowhere to be found, and Kyungsoo gave Chanyeol hardly anything more than a skeptical look in response to the latter’s question.

“Baekhyun?” repeated the younger man. “Who’s that?”

“Hm? I - nothing,” Chanyeol muttered. “Just a dream.”

Kyungsoo crossed his arms before softening his expression, and he looked down at Chanyeol with a mix of pity and remorse.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you the other day,” Kyungsoo apologized. “It’s just frustrating that you won’t talk to anyone anymore. What happened to you, Yeol? You isolate yourself, you refuse to go out with any of us - and then suddenly I get a call that you’re on your way to the hospital after fainting in the movie theatre. What’s going on?”

“I… I…”

“Forget it,” grumbled Kyungsoo. “I already know you don’t wanna tell me, so just don’t. The doctor said you can go home after you wake up, so let me go find your nurse.”

Chanyeol sat quietly as he waited for Kyungsoo to return, and he didn’t say a word as the younger man drove him to his apartment. He had been feeling slightly better before his return from the hospital, but as soon as Kyungsoo had wished him a speedy recovery and the door had closed behind the disgruntled young man, Chanyeol found himself overcome by a sense of wooziness and fatigue.

✵

He stumbled into his bedroom, and was surprised to find Baekhyun there - sitting on the taller man’s bed as he fiddled with his thumbs and looked at the floor.

“Baekhyun?” called Chanyeol, causing the shorter man to jump when he heard his own name.

“Thank goodness you’re okay,” Baekhyun cried. “I was so worried. I went to the hospital, but I couldn’t manage to find you. So I came back here and hoped you’d be alright, and I just - I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“The doctor said I was probably just overdoing it,” reassured Chanyeol. “He told me they couldn’t find anything really wrong, but I looked like I was just worn down and out of it.”

“I’ve been telling you to take better care of yourself, you idiot,” Baekhyun chastised, the tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. “What have you even been doing that’s making you faint all the time?”

That was just it, though, the younger man realized: he hadn’t been doing anything. Chanyeol’s past few weeks had consisted entirely of sleeping, eating, and talking with Baekhyun. Aside from his short visit to the hospital where he had spoken to multiple nurses, Chanyeol could count on one hand the number of times he’d interacted with anyone besides either Baekhyun or a store clerk for almost a month. And he had recently fallen into the habit of using the self-checkout lines when he went to buy groceries.

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol said honestly. “I’ve just felt funny the past few days.”

“Yeol, I’m worried about you,” fussed Baekhyun. “I don’t want anything to happen.”

“It won’t,” Chanyeol vowed. “It’s just a virus or something; I’m sure of it.”

That explanation sounded unlikely even to Chanyeol, but it seemed to at least calm Baekhyun down. The older man got off the bed, and stood on his tiptoes to place a kiss on Chanyeol’s lips.

“Be careful, sweetheart,” mumbled Baekhyun.

“‘Sweetheart…’” repeated Chanyeol, barely above a whisper. “Does this mean that you and I - that we’re… a thing?”

“Well, it’s not like I have many options…”

“Baek!”

“Yah, I’m just kidding,” snickered Baekhyun. “And, well - I really like you and you really like me, so…”

“Why not?” finished Chanyeol, and he felt his stomach flutter at the sound of his own words.

“Why not,” echoed Baekhyun, more as an agreement than a question. “Get some rest for now, though, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Chanyeol got into bed, and looked up at Baekhyun with expectant eyes, almost as if he were expecting there to be more to the older man’s sentence. With a slight shake of his head, Baekhyun relented, and called the young man what he was so obviously desperate to hear.

“-Sweetheart.”

✵

The very next morning, Chanyeol was shocked to discover Baekhyun beside his bed, and the former could see that something was wrong as soon as he put on his glasses and was actually able to get a look at the glowing man.

“Baekhyunnie, what’s wrong?” questioned Chanyeol, fear replacing the sleepiness in his voice.

He reached out to touch Baekhyun’s cheek, but the older man pulled away, making Chanyeol swipe at nothing but air. The latter wasn’t dissuaded by this, however, as he grabbed firmly onto his partner’s luminous hand, which was clenched into a fist as he grabbed at the bedsheets. Baekhyun’s fingers were surprisingly solid, and Chanyeol could even see wrinkles in the places where the other man held the blankets.

It was well into autumn, and leaves swirled by Chanyeol’s closed windows as he looked at Baekhyun, trying to read the older man’s face as it was partially hidden from view. When the latter finally lifted his chin, Chanyeol could see streaks of salty tears running down the boy’s gentle face, which was beautiful even as it was twisted into a grimace of pain.

“What’s wrong?” the younger man queried again, and he was about to repeat himself for a third time when Baekhyun finally spoke.

“I’m killing you,” he spit, the words piercing through his teeth. “It’s my fault. I’m dangerous.”

“What are you talking about?” wheezed Chanyeol. His breath felt inadequate even as the tall man’s chest heaved, struggling to keep up with his racing thoughts. “Baekhyun, answer me. What are you saying?”

“I was an idiot to not realize it,” howled Baekhyun, the sorrow in his voice matched only by the dismal winds outside. “I’m getting stronger and you’re getting weaker. It’s so goddamn obvious what’s happening.”

Chanyeol thought that he should have been able to comprehend what Baekhyun was saying, but he couldn’t focus enough to wrap his reeling head around it. The latter must have seen the look of confusion on Chanyeol’s face, because he elaborated further as he pulled his hand away.

“Don’t touch me,” Baekhyun panicked. “It’s only going to make it worse. I don’t know how in the world this is happening, but I’m the life out of you.”

Chanyeol paused as his lover’s words penetrated. It made sense - too much sense - and that was a fact that Chanyeol was far too afraid to admit. He shook his head, desperate to disprove the elder’s theory through the sheer power of his own will.

“It’s true,” Baekhyun insisted. “Ever since I started talking to you - ever since I started interacting with you - I’ve been getting stronger. Look; I’m not even floating above the floor anymore.”

There was no way for Chanyeol to prove or refute this statement, but he watched patiently and in shock as Baekhyun stood up, spreading his arms when he settled easily on the floor.

“Not even a millimeter,” he continued. “It doesn’t feel perfect, but it’s almost as if I’m a part of your world now.”

Chanyeol couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He wanted to protest - to tell the other man that he was terribly, absolutely undoubtedly wrong - but part of him recognized Baekhyun’s assessment as the inescapable truth.

“But me getting stronger doesn’t come without its cost,” mumbled Baekhyun darkly. He sat back down, and the mattress sighed under the glowing man’s weight. “You’re getting weaker, and I think we can both figure out what the why reason is.”

✵

Chanyeol stared at his hands. They were shaking, and the invasive feeling of nausea had washed over him again. Sure; it was true that Chanyeol had been starting to feel slowly worse over the past several days - but that could be easily dismissed as an effect of the approaching cold weather. Even if he didn’t get out of the apartment very much - or at all - there were still neighbors around who the young man might have passed in the hall and caught something from. Even the air ducts were a plausible explanation, as Chanyeol had had issues with allergens and mold getting caught in the vents before.

He reached out for Baekhyun again, and was hit with a wave of dizziness as opposed to the familiar, pleasantly tingling sensation. The older man’s hand felt so real in his palm; yet just as Baekhyun had hinted at, something was off. He wasn’t entirely there, and Chanyeol had the feeling that other people still wouldn’t be able to see the gleaming young man - even if they could now bump into him.

“If you’re turning solid, then how’d you get in here?” asked Chanyeol, trying to take the focus of the conversation off of his own ailing health.

“I never left,” confessed Baekhyun. “I tried walking through the door last night like I usually do, but I got stuck halfway through. I barely managed to get myself out, but you were already sleeping and I didn’t want to leave the door unlocked - so I stayed here all night since I don’t have a key.”

“That’s okay!” Chanyeol comforted. “I can make you a copy. You can still be able to visit me whenever you want, and we can-”

“Chanyeol, that’s not the problem we have to be solving right now,” interrupted Baekhyun quietly. “You know none of that’s possible.”

“W-what do you mean, Baekhyun?”

“I mean I can’t be with you anymore. It’s way too dangerous for me to be around you; I have no idea how sick you can get from this. Before…”

Chanyeol was scared, but he was mostly just sleepy. He wanted nothing more in the world than to fall asleep to the sound of Baekhyun’s smooth voice, and he realized that he didn’t care if he never woke up.

“We have time,” he insisted, but Baekhyun shook his head.

“No. We don’t. You’ve already ended up in the hospital ’cause of me, and I can’t stand to make things any worse for you.” The older man’s voice cracked slightly as he spoke, and he tried to cover his tears again. “I’m not gonna sit here and watch you waste away just so you can spend time with me.”

“I don’t care if I die,” Chanyeol persisted.

The words seemed rash, but he feared they were accurate. Chanyeol’s heart beat so loudly that he was sure the other man could hear it, but the former was feeling too fuzzy-headed to care.

“I do,” snapped Baekhyun. “Being dead is no life, Yeol. I want you to be happy - and to experience all the things that I’ll never be able to.”

“But, Baek, we could be together,” whimpered Chanyeol. “We’d both be ghosts, right?”

Baekhyun shook his head again, and Chanyeol felt his chest sink.

“I told you: not everyone turns into a ghost,” the glowing man recalled. “There’s no telling where you’d end up, and I’m not even sure if there is anywhere else to go besides whatever this is.”

Chanyeol didn’t understand, but the other man sounded convinced, so he trusted Baekhyun’s assessment and hung his throbbing head.

“I don’t want this for you,” Baekhyun cried. His volume increased as his voice became frantic. “All I’m asking you to do is just keep living. Is that so goddamn hard?!”

“Yes,” countered Chanyeol. “When I have to do it without you.”

Baekhyun was silent, and Chanyeol was worried that the other man would never utter another word to him again. Eventually, however, the elder rose up as he made his way over to the open bedroom door.

“I can’t be around you anymore,” he breathed. “I love you, and I don’t want you to die because of me.”

✵

Chanyeol panicked. He couldn’t help but sob loudly as the water escaped from his eyes, rushing forward in a torrent that stopped Baekhyun’s retreat, forcing him back over to the bedside to comfort Chanyeol. After several minutes of blubbering and begging, Chanyeol finally convinced the other to stay with him - to share one more day together until they could figure something out.

“One day,” asserted a very firm Baekhyun.

“I’m not giving up on you this easily…”

Chanyeol’s voice was weak - and his eyes were fluttery - but his words were strong and true. He was confident that by working together, he and the ghostly young man would be able to come to a solution where they could still be together, somehow, without it taking such a toll on the younger’s wellbeing. Chanyeol didn’t particularly care about his physical health in that moment, however, as he was simply glad that Baekhyun had agreed to spend time with him.

Stumbling, he waved Baekhyun off when the latter tried to help him, and Chanyeol slowly made his way over to the living room couch.

“Remember the first time we sat here?” he coughed. “Or, well, I sat and you floated.”

“I remember,” Baekhyun replied sadly as he perched on the edge of a cushion. “It’s… soft.”

“You’re the first person to say that, you know,” chuckled Chanyeol. “Kyungsoo is always complaining about how uncomfortable the damn thing is.”

The younger man’s laugh ended in a spasm of coughs and wheezes, and Baekhyun could do nothing but sit and watch as the former finished his episode. Chanyeol was weakening at an alarming rate, and he feared that he wouldn’t make it to the end of the day if Baekhyun was to stay much longer.

He glanced at the clock, and was shocked to discover that it was almost four in the afternoon. Chanyeol had assumed it was morning, but the gray skies outside made it quite hard for him to tell, and apparently he had overslept to the point where it was practically time for bed again.

He ignored his own instance of extreme oversleeping, and instead focused all of his fuzzy, easily interrupted attention on Baekhyun, trying to drink in the other man’s presence as fully as he possibly could. Chanyeol cherished the way that the other man glowed - softly and pale at times - as if he were trying to not draw attention to himself - but brilliantly vivid at others. He loved the way the light danced off of Baekhyun’s pointed chin, casting shining eclipses over the walls, pillows, and furniture. Baekhyun was truly the most stunning, unique creature he had ever been privileged to witness, and Chanyeol felt a deep, gashing jab of regret that their hurrah had to end like this.

✵

The two men spent the next several hours relaxing on the couch, Baekhyun apprehensive and Chanyeol determined to experience every second as vividly as he could. The older man’s interactions with the physical world weren’t fully developed; he was still prone to having things slip through his fingers, and Baekhyun was simply unable to master tasks that required a high level of fine motor skill. But it was undeniable that the ghost was gaining a presence in the world. After watching the sun set, Chanyeol felt ready to fall over, so he shuffled to bed and pulled Baekhyun in next to him, pressing their foreheads together as they both sank into the mattress.

“I’m not giving up on you,” whispered Chanyeol, echoing his sentiment from earlier in the day. “I will never give up on you.”

“I feel the same way,” murmured Baekhyun. “Which is why I have to leave you.”

“Stay with me for the night,” pleaded Chanyeol. “Promise me we can figure this out in the morning.”

Chanyeol’s breaths were shallow and rattling, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he pulled himself closer, pressing his nose against Baekhyun’s. The sensation was the realest thing that Chanyeol had ever experienced. He could feel the damp sweat against Baekhyun’s bangs, and the way their legs intertwined was a maze of pleasure and proximity. The older man was truly as present as anything else in the room - from the dimly buzzing lamp to the curtains that swept across the windows. Chanyeol breathed in air, ragged and scentless.

“I will,” acquiesced Baekhyun. “I’ll stay for the night.”

Chanyeol wanted to keep talking, but he was too tired to set any further conditions. He closed his aching eyes, and marveled at the way that the other man’s glow shone delicately through his lids. The gentle blue light lulled him easily to sleep, and he dreamt of the boy whom he loved who was killing him.

✵

Chanyeol awoke to rain pattering against his window. He felt rejuvenated, somehow, and was hopeful that Baekhyun had been wrong - and that it wasn’t the phantom man who was making Chanyeol ill. He grabbed at the sheets in front of him, and was surprised to find them empty. Chanyeol sat up, confused, and noticed that he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

He had been wearing them last night, of course, and had even kept them on as he fell asleep - reveling in the glow cast by his sorrowful lover. Chanyeol searched in the sheets, frantically trying to find his only portal to Baekhyun’s existence.

His hands grabbed something. The glass of the lenses was fractured and cracked. Chanyeol lifted the spectacles up to his face, but the glasses had been deliberately crushed - impossible to use, and useless as a vision aide. He tried them on anyway, but the young man could feel that the magic was gone. Baekhyun was gone. And Chanyeol was alone.

He cradled the broken object in his trembling hands, and took a shaky breath as the emptiness invaded him.

Baekyeol is one of my biggest OTPs, so I couldn’t resist writing angsty fanfiction about them. Chanyeol is reckless in that he destroys his personal relationships and his own health in an obsessive attempt to get closer to Baekhyun, and Baekhyun himself ends up having to destroy the glasses to ensure that he won’t cause the younger man any more harm. If that’s not, like, the embodiment of every frustrated-teenage-girl emotion I’ve ever experienced, then I don’t know what is.

I hope you enjoyed this story, and I encourage you to leave any and all comments, criticisms, or questions you may have. This is my first time writing sort of a straight-up angsty romance; usually my stories have more horror and less lovey-dovey. So... I’m not entirely sure how it went. I am always happy to hear what people think of my work, though, and I thank you all for reading!