Juunmyeon

It was a quiet morning in the dorms of the K group. Silence was a heavy blanket that muffled all noise. The only sound that can be heard were the soft hum of the early traffic mixed with the soft snoring of the six boys.

Well, five that is.

Sitting in the darkness of the kitchen where the only light is from the slow winter sunrise, was the K leader, nursing a lukewarm cup of coffee. After waking early for his own personnel reasons, he found it pointless to go back to sleep when he would only wake up a few hours later.

Promotions with the K group were finally slowing down and for the first time in a long time, the group was allowed to sleep in. Due to their usually busy schedules, sleep was almost considered a luxury. So of course, they were going to take advantage of it.

Juunmyeon knew that he too should take advantage of the few precious hours. But exhaustion to him was like a second nature so losing a few extra hours wasn’t really a big deal.

Besides, times like these were the only times he ever get to be alone.

7:30 am , the clock by the counter read.

It was still way too early for any others to wake up. He can still hear Chanyeol’s loud snoring from his and Baekhyun’s joint room. It’s a wonder really, how Baekhyun can even sleep when his roommate snores like a grizzly bear.

It wasn’t until 11:00 am till the first member woke up. Juunmyeon who abandoned his cold coffee was reading the morning news when he heard the soft padding of footsteps into the kitchen.

“Morning kyungsoo ah” greeted Juunmyeon with a cheery smile. Kyungsoo, who was still half asleep, only gave a grunt in a return. One hand trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes while the other fumbling for a glass in the cabinet. After successfully pouring himself a cup of cold milk without breaking any glassware, Kyungsoo stumbled to the couch and turned the TV on.

Aside from Juunmyeon, Kyungsoo was the only other member that would actually wake up without having to being dragged out of bed. The wide eyed boy was a light sleeper unlike his other bandmates and while this did make Juunmyeons sneaking around harder, he was slightly grateful as well.

Falling into his role as the leader, Juunmyeon often woke early to make some sort of edible (and healthy) breakfast for the others when he wasn’t too preoccupied with other things. Even if he wasn’t as good as a cook as Kyungsoo, he can proudly say that the food he actually makes won’t send anyone into the ER with premature heart disease.

Sometimes, when Kyungsoo actually feels like getting up, he helps the leader with breakfast duties, which he is secretly grateful for. Especially when Kyungsoo makes his signature Belgian waffles.

Having the thought of breakfast in mind, Juunmyeon thought he might as well make something when the members won’t wake for another few hours.

He thought of asking the other boy for some help but seeing how immersed he was in the early morning drama that was softly playing, he decided against it. He didn’t want to place another burden on the main vocalist.  Besides, Juunmyeon was the leader and the least he that he can do was making sure that s were well fed. ‘Not that I’m better at anything else’ he would silently add.

By the time he had finished setting up the table and when Kyungsoo was much more awake, two more members stumbled in. Baekhyun, who was entranced by the scent of food, and Chanyeol who was unfortunate enough to be kicked awake by puppy eyed boy.

“Whats for breakfast hyung?”

“I tried making pancakes” Juunmyeon replied with a smile as he set a plate in front of the yawning giant. Baekhyun on the other hand chewed quietly on his pancakes the remarked, “ It’s kind of bland Hyung, didn’t Soo help you make these?”

“I’m not you ing slave.” Kyungsoo grumbled as he passed by the table. “Be grateful that you’re not eating cold leftovers again.” Baekhyun only rolled his eyes at the insult.

“Don’t worry Hyung, I like it” Chanyeol said, or at least what Juunymeyon assumed he said if his mouth was stuffed with pancakes. Judging by how his pancakes were drowning in syrup, Juunmyeon really doubted that Chanyeol even knew what the pancakes originally tasted like.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and was about to take another bite when another hand shot out and stole it from him. “Hey! Get your own maknae!” Baekhyun shot the younger a glare and moved his plate away from Sehun’s reach.

“You really need to improve on your skills hyung.” Sehun remarked , completely ignoring Baekhyun’s angry protests. Juunmyeon only smiled as he took his advice, which made Sehun raise an eyebrow as he wasn’t returned with the usual snark.

As Juunmyeon set out the rest of the plates, he noticed one member missing.

“Is Jongin still asleep?”

“Probably” Sehun shrugged “he only got back when I went to the bathroom at 3:00 am last night.” Juunymeon sighed. Their dancer would always pull this stunt no matter how much Juunmyeon would protest.

He knew that the younger was struggling with the pressure of being the main dancer.

The pressure from the company.

The pressure from the fans.

As well as the pressure (that Jongin never likes to admit) of always being in his best friend, Taemin’s shadow.

Having similar turmoils to the young dancer, Juunmyeon can sympathize what he is going through. However while Juunmyeon deal with his problems through constant self-loathing, Jongin’s deals with his by working himself to death.

“ We have to meet our manager at the SM building at 1:00pmignoring the series of complaints from s, he continued saying “Sehun, can you please go wake him up.”

The rest of the group watched maknae nonchalantly waltzed into Jongin and Kyungsoos bedroom with the fork still in his mouth. A resounding thump and a string of curses came from the room, which Juunmyeon assumed was caused by the maknae’s special wake up call.

Jongin stumbled out after Sehun, body still asleep.

The young dancer, still in a daze plopped down into a seat and somehow continued to sleep while eating.

“So, we’re leaving in an hour okay?” Juunmyeon was only responded with the sound of chewing ,and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo fighting over the remote.

Juunmyeon sighed.

‘At least it’s a start’

.........

After another an hour and a half of trying to get everyone ready, as well as preventing any arguments from breaking out, he finally managed to get everyone piled into the van. As they pulled up to the building, Juunmyeon can already see the displeased frown on their managers’ face, accompanied by the annoyed tapping of his foot.

1:34 pm. ‘’ Juunmyeon thought. They were half an hour late.

The leader could only pray for what’s going to come won’t be as bad as he hoped.

As the rest of the group made their way into the building, Juunmyeon was roughly pulled aside by their angry manager. Without even looking at him, Juunmyeon could already feel the irritation radiating off their manager in waves.

“This is the 5^th time this month you guys have been late” their manager hissed. “Do you know the amount of I take from others because of this? They think I can’t handle this goddamn group!” Juunmyeon flinched away from their manager’s angry words, but it only made the grip tighter.

“I really sorry Hyung. I’ll try m-“ he tried to explain but was only cut off with more angry words.

“Is your best really enough? “ Juunymeon shrunk further into himself as he tried to avoid the harsh accusations. He silently pleaded for their manager to stop , but his volume only seemed to escalate and grew harsher by the minute.”

“You are the leader of the group and it is your duty to watch over them!”

“I swear I’ll do better hyung, I’m trying my best.”

Other artists and trainees who were passing by only stared as the Exo leader was being mercilessly pelted with angry words.

When he caught the pitying look in Ryeowook’s face, he could only look away in shame.

“Are you listening to me Suho?” their manger harshly yanked his arm to break Juunmyeon out of his little reverie.

“Y-yes , I’m so-“ Juunmyeon tried to apologize again but was then cut off with the words he always dreaded to hear.

“ Christ” their mananger groaned. “If you can’t even perform your duties as a leader, then what are you even good for?”

Juunmyeon froze.

Their manager, who was done with their tirade left to meet up with the rest of the group, leaving Juunmyeon alone in the lobby.

Other artists who stopped to listen quickly scurried away. Some sending him looks of pity as they passed.

A fit of giggles behind him made him turn around.

In hushed voices, a group of trainees whispered something that he could only assume was about him

When he turned to look, they only giggled.

Juunmyeon’s face burned with shame. He felt smaller and smaller with each accompanying whisper and laugh.

To be scolded for his own incompetence in front of almost everyone in the company.

Juunmyeon had never felt more humiliated.

With eyes lowered and tears of anger pricked in his eyes, Juunmyeon silently made his way to the elevator to join his group.

With those harsh words

 Never leaving his mind

.........................

Sehun

“I’m never leaving this couch ever again!”

Kyungsoo only rolled his eyes at the dramatic flair as he hung up his coat. “We didn’t even do that much today. Quit whining”

Baekhyun lifted his head to just stick his tongue out at the other before collapsing again.

“Move over hyung” Sehun said as he nudged Baekhyun’s foot. The other flailed his legs around, almost nailing Sehun in the face , before settling his legs on the maknae’s lap.

Though Sehun agreed that Baekhyun’s drama is a bit exaggerated, the day was quite tedious, more in the mental sense than the physical sense. Having to sit through hours upon hours of their manager droning about their next comeback was not something Sehun considered fun.

As the rest of the made their way in, Sehun watched as their leader, the last one, trudged into the dorm. His face was still ashen from earlier this afternoon ever since he walked into the meeting room late with the manager. He assumed something must have happened. But he chose not to dwell on it too much since their leader chose not to say anything.

Then again, their hyung rarely shares much of anything anymore.

“Jongin! Where are you going!”

Looking over at Suho’s outburst, he saw their dancer at the door with his practice bag slung over his shoulders. ‘Ah’, Sehun thought ‘practice again’

“I’m just going to practice for a bit. I’ll be back soon” the displeasure shown on the leaders face clearly showed he didn’t like the response.

“And by a bit, you mean till 4:00 am in the morning again?” Jongin looked away at the accusation. “Look, you can’t keep doing this to yourself! You need the rest!”

“Look, I said I’ll be back early” snapped Jongin, with annoyance clear in his voice “ why can’t you stay out of my business?”

Juunmyeon’s face darkened. ‘uh oh, ‘ thought Sehun, ‘s gonna go down.’He braced for the oncoming storm.

“None of my business? I can’t have you staying out so late! Your habit is affecting the entire group!” The anger in his voice shocked the rest of the members. Sehun had seen Juunmyeon scold their members before, but never had he looked so angry.

“How is my hard work affecting the group?” Jongin snapped back as face turned a dark shade of red. (no pun intended)

“Your hard work is putting everyone behind on their schedule!” Juunmyon’s voice rose by the second.  The other members fell silent as they watch the fight unfold between the two. Even Baekhyun who claimed he was dying of exhaustion even lifted his head to watch the fight .

‘Whatever happened this afternoon,’ thought Sehun ‘ must have really ticked him off.’ Never before has he seen their usually calm and sweet leader snap.

“Oh , so I’m dragging everyone down?”

“What? No! I’m not saying that!”

Chanyeol looked like he wanted to interfere. He looked at the others for any ideas, but no one did anything.

The fight was getting more and more heated and the rest of the members could do nothing but watch.

“So why can’t you just let me go? I need to work on my dancing! I’m the main dancer for god sakes!” The usually shy Jongin, raised his voice to a level that easily rivaled his screamo back in mama era.

“Look! I understand you struggle to do your best, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself and everyone else!”

Sehun knew what was coming, but he couldn’t stop it in time.

“ No, you don’t understand ,when you’re pretty much USELESS in this band!”

“JONGIN!” Kyungsoo roared angrily.

But the damage was already done.

The whole room fell silent.

After realizing what he had just said, a look of guilt crossed Jongin’s features. Without looking at their leader, he quickly grabbed his bag and ran out of the dorm. Slamming the door behind him.

With tension still thick in the air, the remaining members watched Juunmyeon standing frozen , eyes still staring at where Jongin once stood.

“Hyung...” Kyungsoo reached for Juunmyeon, but stopped and let his hand drop back to his side. “Hyung, you know he didn’t mean that. He’s just tired. You know he doesn’t think right when he’s like that.” Juunmyeon still didn’t say anything.

The silence was nauseating. Sehun rather the man to yell or scream , then let them all suffocate in this blanket of silence.

“I’m going out.” Juunmyeon suddenly spoke up.

“Hyung, it’s getting late..” Chanyeol tried to stop him, but no one physically tried. They all watched their leader pick up his jacket and  walked out,  silently closed the door behind him.

Chanyeol who couldn’t stand the tension anymore quietly slipped into his room. Baekhyun went after the giant, probably to comfort him

Alone in the living, with only the evening drama to accompany him, Sehun, tried to forget the fight that just occurred. Hoping everything will return to normal by itself.

But somewhere, in the back of his head, Sehun knew, he should have done something.

Maybe if he did,

..........................................

Sorry for uploading so late! I was on vacation for a while and then I was really ill for a long time.