Pairing(s): Kaisoo

Character(s): Do Kyungsoo, Kim Jongin.

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“Kyungsoo wait, please?”

Jongin tightened his grip on Kyungsoo’s wrist he couldn’t let him leave. Not again. He could never go back to those years with ought the Doughy eyed boy, – well man now, if you really wanted to get technical – it had been too long.

He had missed his presence, heck he missed everything about him. Especially his wide and expressive eyes, those eyes that conveyed everything even if his face was set in stone, those eyes that had the power to freeze anyone and anything in a ten mile radius if provoked.

But most of all he missed those lips, oh god those lips. Jongin could go on and on about his lips, he could write a poem about them, about how they made the perfect shape of a heart, about how they emitted the most beautiful sound, whether it was his laugh that Jongin hoped would always stay ringing in his ears for eternity, or his angelic- yes it’s cheesy but you can kiss Jongin’s fist if you really want to fight about it- voice that, of course, just so happened to be the perfect comparison to the darkest, silkiest chocolate you could imagine and the richest honey to ever grace your  taste buds. Scratch that he could write a monologue, a whole book even, titled “The wonders of one Do Kyungsoo’s heart shaped lips”… Ok that might be a bit too long of a title but it’s in the works.

Now that he has Kyungsoo in front of him he’s going to tell him all that and more, let him know how much he meant to him all those years ago.

“Why.”

Jongin paused. He hadn’t expected, well, that kind of reply.

“Tell me Jongin, why?”

“I-uh”, He inhaled.

“I just wanted to… apologise.” Kyungsoo didn’t turn to look at him.

“That I u-um I feel the same way, I mean that I-I.” Jongin’s Palms were sweaty and he honestly wasn’t sure if Kyungsoo was even listening to him, but the fact that he wasn’t walking away was reason in itself to continue. So he steeled himself.

“What I want to say is that I love you Kyungsoo and that I loved you all those years ago too, I was just too much of a proud to ever admit it, I just hope you can forgive me.”  

A beat of silence passed, “Is that all?”

Jongin’s grip faltered.

“What?”

He still wasn’t looking at Jongin.

“Three years.”

He pulled his hands to his side, he was shaking now.

“Three. Whole. God. Damned. Years.”

He had finally turned to face him, but he was crying, Jongin had never wanted to see that.

“And now you tell me?”

Kyungsoo hated it, he hated how even after three years Jongin could still make him so emotional, he felt like a mawkish teenager. It was all he could do to keep himself from screaming at Jongin, but he couldn’t do that, he had to keep a shred of his pride.

“Kyungsoo I...” He let the sentence drift off.

He knows that it shouldn’t have taken him years to figure something as straight-forward as this out, and in all honesty it didn’t, and that is exactly what made it harder for Kyungsoo to forgive him. That and the fact that he had not once attempted to contact him during their time apart, it’s not like Kyungsoo would have been hard to find, they pretty much had the exact same friend group for crying out loud!

No, it was because Jongin was a coward, he had his chance and had he taken it Kyungsoo would have forgiven him in less than a heartbeat.

But he hadn’t.

And it was too late now.

Kyungsoo sighed, he had barley done or said anything but he was exhausted.

“Look Jongin, I want to believe you, I really do but… I don’t think I can trust you”, he shook his head, “not anymore.”   

Kyungsoo turned around, ready to just sink into his bed and forget that any of this ever happened. It was the weekend, maybe if he slept for long enough it would turn out that this was all just an illusion that his tired mind had conjured up as a mean to tell him to get some sleep.

But of course Jongin had other plans.

“No, Kyungsoo wait.”

 This time he forged grabbing his wrist to just turn him by his shoulders so they were face to face.

 “Please.” He was practically begging now.

“At least… at least hear me out.”

Kyungsoo took in a breath of air and slowly let it out.

He took that as a sign to continue. Letting out his own breath of air he spoke.

“Then, let’s start over.”

A look of confusion passed over Kyungsoo’s eyes. They were so beautiful, Jongin was finding it hard to keep himself from falling any deeper into them.

“Let me get to know you all over again, I’ll make up for those three years, we can even start out form acquaintances if it suits you better.”

He squeezed his shoulders in an attempt to convey his sincerity.

“Please.”

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin, he really looked at Jongin.

He seemed so hopeful, so sincere… Maybe he should give him another chance, maybe he could trust him again-

No, he can’t let this repeat again.

“I really don’t know Jongin.”

His let his fingers slide down Kyungsoo’s arms.

“Soo, please.”

He stared at Jongin again.

He couldn’t lie to himself anymore, it’s not like he was immediately trusting Jongin and letting him back into his life again, no, that would take time. But he could not deny how much he had missed him anymore.

Baby steps.

“Alright.”

Baby steps.

Jongin did a double take, he looked at Kyungsoo once again for confirmation, he just nodded.

To say Jongin’s face lit up was an understatement, it took every ounce of his will power to not crush the boy in front of him in a hug- mind you, Kyungsoo was ready to stop him if he even got that far.

So he settled for a nice normal acquaintancey hand shake, Jongin was absolutely sure that that was not even a word but who would care at a moment like this.

Jongin was grinning like an idiot and had began to babble about god knows what because at this point he wasn’t even paying attention to the words that fell from his own lips, and that makes Kyungsoo laugh a little, which in turn causes Jongin to smile because he had so deeply missed that intoxicating laughter even if it wasn’t half as loud as he would have liked it to be.

He vowed that he would make Kyungsoo laugh as loudly and as frequently as possible in his presence.

“Go home Jongin.” Kyungsoo slightly smiles.

“Yeah, I’m going.”

But neither makes a move to leave and just stay staring at one another. This- Kyungsoo muses- goes on  for far too long, he’s about to comment on this new found knowledge when he’s suddenly pulled into gentle hug.

“I promise you won’t regret this Soo.”

Jongin’s will power crumbled and Kyungsoo let himself indulge in it, just for a little while because no sooner had he started to melt into the embrace was Jongin creating space between them.

“So I guess I’ll see you later.” Jongin says as he begins to make his way back towards the shop where his car is parked.

“Unless, you want a lift?”

Though Kyungsoo was slightly flustered he managed to let out a quiet, “no thank you”, before he was waving at the retreating figure of one Kim Jongin.

He thought back to what Jongin had said to him as he made his way back to his apartment.

“I hope I don’t regret this either.”