7. Of Mrs. Bamboo and Mr. Fan [Pairings: Myunggyu]

“Myungsoo is like a bamboo. He looked like strong, happy, perfect outside,

but he is also weak, also vulnerable, same as everyone.

Just like bamboo, it looked strong, stable outside,

but actually it was empty inside,

the strong image it gives is only a façade.”

“Sunggyu is like a fan.

He looks ordinary, common at first sight,

but the more you know him, the more you feel great to know him.

He has the aura that comfort, calmed others.

Just like fan, when you feel hot, it can make you cool down.”

Once Myungsoo stepped into the dorm, his smile that was hanging on his face a moment ago crumbled down. A solemn expression was displayed instead.

“Myungsoo, you are back?” Sunggyu’s voice greeted him as he walked feebly.

“Yes,” he answered perfunctory, and shut himself in his room. His mind was consumed with the phone call from his mom, saying that his dad had just passed away.

 Once he locked himself in the room, tears started rolling down.

He felt guilty, he felt grieved. He thought about the day when he left his home and walked as a trainee. His dad had opposed him, and they even didn’t contact each other for years. The small Mungsoo had once hated his dad, and never talked to him in a fit of pique. But everything was in past tense, he didn’t hate his dad at that moment. He understood at that moment, his dad loved him. However, he could nothing now. He wanted to let his parents enjoy the fun of life when he success, he wanted to let his parents live blissfully, he wanted to let his parents experience the taste of living a day without concerning about money, he wanted to let his parents… He wanted to let his parents enjoy lots of things, but his dad had left, left with the unfinished wish from the son.

Thinking that he couldn’t repay his dad, tears flowed unchecked down his cheeks and dripped from his chin. He was too sad to cry out or wail, he just slid down and sat on the floor as still as a statue while the magnitude of his depress swept over him. When asked years later to describe his sadness in the moment he heard of the tragic news of his father’s death, his eyes would brim with tears once more, as if all those years had passed in a matter of seconds and he would say nothing. For once again he was lost in the torrid vortex of the moment.

“Myungsoo, are you fine?” Sunggyu asked as he knocked the door tenderly.

Silence. Sunggyu stood there, hand holding a bowl of congee, staring at the shut door awkwardly.

“May I come in?” he asked carefully.

“Come in.” this time Myungsoo answered, in a hoarse voice which the leader nearly couldn’t recognized.

As Sunggyu entered the room, he was almost thrown back by the messiness of the room as if World War III had just occurred there. The overwhelming wall of stench wafting from old gym socks left to ferment, cloths on the floor messily as they crumbled form the closet, CDs scattered like UFOs trying to capture the wild frontier.  He must admit that INFINITE’s dorm could never be called tidy, but what happened in this room was unbearable.

What shocked Sunggyu more was the condition of Myungsoo. He was sitting on the floor decadently, shoulder were slumped and his eyes casted down in a mournful gaze to the family photo. Myungsoo would describe his grief like death by a thousand paper cuts, for every time he remembered his loss it was another cut to his already damaged heart. None were enough to kill him, but overtime their accumulation bled her of the mental strength he had once had.

“You hadn’t eaten anything since you came back.” Sunggyu said in a tender voice, he was the leader, and his job was to comfort every one of s.

“I’m not hungry.” Myungsoo said as he pushed away the congee.

“Myungsoo, I understand your grief, but you need strength to overcome it.”

“Hyung, you don’t understand, you don’t understand the feeling as if your heart is torn into pieces.”

“I understand, Myungsoo.” The older said firmly, “I cried for two weeks when my grandmother passed away.”

“No, you don’t. He is my father, my one and only father!” Myungsoo screamed, tears bursting out. He cried as if his brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of his every pore. From his mouth came a cry from so raw that could make even the strangers around him were suddenly wet with tears.

The leader said nothing as he soothed the younger’s back, Myungsoo’s sobs echoed in the quiet room painfully.

When he cried there was rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. He clasped onto the older’s body for support, and then his whole body shook violently. The tears made wet tracks down his face and dripped from his wobbling chin. Clear watery snot streaked from his flaring nostrils down his red mottled skin to his open quivering. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief, then overcame by the wave of his emotions and broke down entirely, all his defenses and smiling façade washed away in those salty tears. When he at last turned his face to Sunggyu he was a picture of grief, loss, devastation. It was the face of one who had suffered.

Sunggyu let Myungsoo cried his whole heart out. He understood the younger well to know that the younger prefer to hide his emotion under the cold façade. They understood their role well, they were celebrities, people who serve others, in a bad way to say is to ingratiate yourself. He understood how tired Myungsoo was, even their parent died, they were still asked to finish their work, putting on the smile.

Sunggyu embrace the younger until he had calmed down. In the dark, the two boys hugged each other, giving other strength.

(And the congee? Forgotten.)

Author: A short chapter :)

I have combined the previous chapter: Sherlock. So that panic when you see one chapter is missing.

Also, I won't be updating this for a week as I am going on a holiday. I might probably update next Sunday.

Let's stay tuned to INFINITE's comback on 13/7 :D 

Please subscirbe and comment it if you like it.

p.s. INFINITE'ss new teaser is super cool. OMG. 360 vr. I've been told it is the first 360 vr mv in asia.

OMG OMG OMG  << you can simply ignore me this little fangirl 

TEASER