Taeyeon picked at the crust of her sandwich.  After cleaning up her burrito barf bucket, eating was not high on her list of priorities.  She attempted to remove as much crust as she could without taking any of the softer bread with it.  Extra points if she didn’t touch the mayonnaise.

“Stop picking at your food!”  Sunny scolded, full of fries.  Fries which she had shamelessly picked off Taeyeon’s plate ever since their orders hit the table.

“Yes, mother,” Taeyeon sighed, abandoning her craft project.

Mack’s was a greasy spoon hole in the wall that didn’t even try to look like a fancy diner.  The white paint on the walls was yellowed and peeling, the tile cracked, and there were a variety of creative words carved into the booth walls and tables.  Though a smoking ban was enacted ten years ago, the smell of stale cigarettes perpetuated, like it had become one with the building itself. Despite its ragged appearance, the food managed to be both cheap, and delicious, and it was a popular weekend dining spot for college students, for both those bright-eyed and bushy tailed and those nursing hangovers.

Sooyoung came swooping in, bellowing her greetings as soon as she entered the restaurant.  “Hellooooo, ladies!” she beamed, plopping down in the booth next to Taeyeon.  “Oooh, fries!”  Taeyeon’s plate was quickly becoming a casualty.

Taeyeon raised her eyebrows at Sunny, who was suddenly very interested in her milkshake straw.  Just the two of us, huh?

“So, what’s going on?  What’s new?”  Sooyoung’s smile threatened to engulf her entire face.  Clearly, she had a good Saturday night.

“Well, we’re actually going to have to kill you.”  Sunny jabbed her straw in Sooyoung’s direction like a knife.

Sooyoung’s smile shrank as her eyes grew wide as saucers.  “Did I do something?” she asked, all innocence and charm.

Taeyeon shot her a look that was probably more menacing than she intended, given her poor condition.  “Yer big mouth is causin’ problems, Choi,” she rumbled in her best Italian gangster impersonation, which wasn’t very good at all.  “You’ll be sleepin’ with the fishes tonight!”

Sooyoung continued her pure, blameless act.  “I don’t know what you two are talking about.  I didn’t say anything to anybody.”  She gave a ladylike “harumph,” crossing her arms and sticking her nose in the air.

Sunny had apparently grown tired of the charade.  “Cut the crap, Sooyoung.  You ratted Taeyeon out to Tiffany.”

“She wasn’t supposed to tell you guys that!”  Sooyoung yelped, immediately on the defensive.  “I was all mad at her because she upset Taeyeon, and she was like, ‘I don’t get why she’s upset!’ and I was like, why are you being dumb, and she still didn’t get it, she even thought Taeyeon was homophobic, like what the hell, and,” she remembered she needed to breathe, “so I said no, , she’s got a crush on you!  And then I felt bad.  But I told her not to tell you!  But you can’t keep that secret from her forever!  And…” she ceased her babbling as realization dawned.  “Wait.  Is that why she’s not here right now?  Did she freak out?”

Sunny looked like she might legitimately murder both of them.  “No, she’s not here because Taeyeon is a fool.”

At that moment, their waitress, a leathery woman in her late 50s with too-red lipstick and a voice like sandpaper, had returned to take Sooyoung’s order.  Sooyoung perused the menu, and said, “One moment, Taeyeon; you can explain your idiocy after I’ve ordered some food.”  She ordered a cheeseburger, no onions, extra pickles.

And so Taeyeon explained her idiocy for the second time that day.  It wasn’t any easier the second time around.

Sooyoung, oddly enough, didn’t seem that bothered by it.  “I don’t get it.  Maybe she’s mad cuz she liked it?”  Sunny scoffed and threw a fry at her.  “Okay, yeah, your intentions were a little shady, but I can see why you thought it might be a good idea, after she was all smoochy with Leather Pants Girl the last time we all went together.  She said she likes you though, right?  That’s good!  Why don’t we focus on that?”

Taeyeon made a design in her ketchup puddle with her fork.  “She said that, but who knows if she feels that way anymore.  She didn’t even say goodbye to me when she left.  She hasn’t texted me since Thursday.”  Since they had known each other, Tiffany had sent her at least one message every day.  Her silence was a bad sign.

“You’ve got to let her know you’re sorry.  Let her know how much she means to you,” Sunny said.

Sooyoung had started to grab pieces of Taeyeon’s sandwich.  “You need to win her back!”  Suddenly, she banged her hands on the table, making Taeyeon flinch next to her.  “I know!  We’ll get you all dressed up, you can bring her flowers, play her a song, take her out to eat like a proper lady!  She’ll love it!”

“What.”  Taeyeon wondered if she had been transferred to an 80s romantic comedy flick.

Sunny chimed in, “That’s not a bad idea, actually.  Tiffany loves romantic like that.  If you put a lot of effort in it, I bet she would forgive you.”

Taeyeon found dresses and flowers and love confessions utterly nauseating, but if it would win Tiffany back… “All right.  I place my trust and my love life in your hands.  I hope it works.”

“It’ll work.  We know what girls like,” said Sooyoung.

“And I don’t?”

“You’re a weirdo who doesn’t know anything about a woman’s delicate sensibilities.  And by the way, you’re not allowed to wear a hat on your date.”

“But I like my hats.”

“NO HATS!” said Sunny and Sooyoung at the same time.

The waitress returned with Sooyoung’s cheeseburger.  Sooyoung eyed it like a lioness eyes an antelope.  “We will enact this plan as soon as I finish eating.”