He doesn’t hear a reply back for a while until Minseok laughs. “Well that was out of nowhere. I think you’re skipping a couple of steps there.”

To Baekhyun’s surprise, Lu Han laughs as well and when he answers, there’s not even the slightest note of pain or disappointment. “True.” Lu Han says, “Then how about this. Move in with me?”

And that’s when the carefree atmosphere turns tense as Minseok hesitates. “You know I can’t do that, Han.”

“Why not?” Lu Han says, but it's hardly even a question. Something in the slight edge in his voice makes it seem as if he already knows the answer.

“Han,” Minseok repeats softly as if that’s reason enough. And usually, it is. Whenever Lu Han is being particularly aggravating, usually Minseok’s soft calling of his name is enough get him to stop. 

But not this time.

“No, Minseok.” Lu Han snaps. “That’s not going to work this time. I’ve been asking for a while and I think I finally deserve to hear the reason from your own mouth, not just some ty repetition of my name.” Baekhyun has to stop himself from gasping aloud. Lu Han cusses, sure, but he’s never actually directly cussed at Minseok -- not that Baekhyun knows of at least --, much less used that kind of tone of voice either. 

“Lu Han… You know I…” Minseok begins but Lu Han cuts him off with a scoff.

“Is it really because of Baekhyun?” He laughs mirthlessly and Baekhyun’s blood runs cold. “Is your stupid little friend really the one holding you back from being with me?” 

Minseok’s quick to quiet him. “Don’t speak so loudly!” He hisses, “He’s right there.”

“The er is asleep.” Lu Han snorts. “And answer me, Minseok. If you could only choose between him and me, who you choose?”

“You know that’s not very fair.”

“Me. Or him.” Lu Han snips out and although he tries his best to keep his voice level, even, the seething anger is hard to conceal.

“Don’t make me do this.” Minseok pleads, “How can you expect me to pick between my lifelong best friend and you?”

“I like how I don’t even deserve a title; you just call me ‘you’.” Lu Han snorts in a condescending manner. 

“You know that’s not what I mean, Lu Han.” Minseok answers quietly and with the way that there is no response, Baekhyun can only guess that Lu Han’s just staring, anticipating an answer. He gets his answer just thirty seconds later when Minseok says, in a louder, more confident voice, “You’re the love of my life. So let me rephrase: How can you expect me to pick between my friend since childhood and my soulmate?!” His volume edges louder and louder but he’s still nowhere near yelling.

“Why is it so difficult to pick between us? Shouldn’t the answer be clear?” Lu Han exclaims and he’s quick  to stop himself before he gets to far.

“Are you,” Minseok begins, drawing a shuddering breath, “Are you asking me -- no, telling me to ditch my best friend for you?”

Lu Han groans, “No that’s-- That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what the  do you mean?”

Lu Han groans again. “I don’t have a problem with you being friends with him -- you should know that. Otherwise, I would’ve complained about him long ago. No no, the problem lies in the fact that he is not a child anymore. No matter how much you seem to think he is, Baekhyun is an adult; he knows how to live his life and he doesn’t need you.”

“No,” Minseok protests and it sounds pitiful, really. “He still--”

“He doesn’t.” Lu Han cuts in, “If anything, having him mooch off of you and your apartment like a damned leech is bad for him. Bad for both of you, really, because money’s beyond tight for you and he’s never going to learn how to get back on his feet and move on with his ing life.” And Baekhyun didn’t know this. He didn’t know that Minseok was having a hard time paying the bills. He could’ve helped. He could’ve contributed if only he’d known what was happening and--

He has to cut his own thoughts off when Minseok responds. “You don’t know what he’s been through, Han.” And Baekhyun swears he hears just the slightest bit of animosity twisted through the words. “Don’t act like you have any idea of what he went through.”

“I don’t know.” Lu Han readily admits, “I don’t know the full thing because no one’s ever bothered to tell me but I know about most of it, pieced it together through the tidbits of information you let slip out every now and them, and it’s not nearly as dramatic as you make it out to be. He had his heart broken. That happens to everyone. There’s no need to baby him; he’s not a child. He. Is. Not. Your. Responsibility!”

Minseok doesn’t take Lu Han’s natural pause to reply so Lu Han only continues. “I don’t have anything against Baekhyun personally, but I do have something against his presence. You’re holding yourself back because of him -- don’t even act like you don’t. You make so many sacrifices for him, cutting down your meals to save some extra money so that the fridge is always stocked for him to snack, working yourself to the bone to do all the housework so he doesn’t have to worry. This is your last year in graduate school. You don’t have the time nor energy to be worrying about Baekhyun like this.

“Minseok, I love you. I really do. Do you have any idea how aggravating, how heartbreaking it is to watch him take advantage of you like this? To see you stretch yourself so thin that you’re about to snap, all for this guy? So no, I don’t give a  about whether you two stay friends. I honestly do not care whether or not you hang around him, but I don’t want you to give yourself up for his sake.”

“He’s…” Minseok says softly, “He’s my best friend…”

“And that makes it all the more worse.”

“What do you expect me to do, then?” Minseok pipes in after a minute or so.

“In a perfect world,” Lu Han starts, “I would want you to dump his sorry . Kick him out, force him to find his own footing in the world and meanwhile, you’d move in with me. I have enough money to support the both of us so you’d finish graduate school without having to worry about finances. You’d graduate. We’d marry and then we’d live happily ever after. 

“But we both know that’s not going to happen.” He says, voice solemn, “You’re too compassionate, too kind to do anything like that. So, knowing you, nothing’s going to happen; nothing’s going to change. He’s going to continue to stay here, completely depending on you. You’re going to continue to take care of Baekhyun until he decides himself that he wants to leave you. And I’m going to continue to pretend I’m okay with all of this. Like I approve of all of this and can accept the fact that while I would rip out my heart if you asked for it, in your mind, I will never be your priority. I’m second and I have to pretend that I am okay with that.”

And Minseok doesn’t deny it; he can’t deny it because it’s the truth. Neither of them say anything for a while, a tense kind of silence rushes over them until Lu Han lets out a particularly loud exhale. “I need to go.” And all of a sudden there’s the quick sounds of someone (Lu Han) scrambling to his feet, hastened but heavy steps to the door.

“Lu Han.” Minseok calls out but from the sounds of it all, he hasn’t moved a centimeter, probably still rooted in his seat, following Lu Han’s hasty movements with his eyes. “Lu Han please.” The word sounds utterly pitiful when they contrast with the sounds of the opening door and the resounding thud as the footsteps come to a halt.

“I’m sorry,” Lu Han is quick to apologize. “I’m sorry, Minseok, but I need some time alone.” And with that, the front door slams shut.

Three minutes later, the sound of Minseok typing away on his computer resumes. 

From his position on the couch, Baekhyun squirms in place. It seems a bit inappropriate to just suddenly get up and announce that he’s been conscious throughout their whole argument so Baekhyun lies low for a while. He lies there motionlessly for about an hour as he closes his eyes and tries to go back to sleep despite the twist and turning of his stomach and the soft sounds of sniffling coming from the other side of the room.

Sometime while he’s pretending to sleep, he actually slips back into an unconscious state. When he awakens, the sun has set, the room significantly darker than it was before. Lu Han's still not back yet.

He rolls off the couch, throwing off the blanket that he knows wasn't on him just a couple hours before. Minseok must've put it on him while he was sleeping.

Speaking of Minseok, he's still on his computer, typing away at whatever he's supposed to be working on. It seems as if he hasn't moved an inch. "You're awake?" Minseok asks without looking up from the screen whenever Baekhyun gets up and approaches him.

"Yeah," Baekhyun answers, "But hey, Minseok?"

Minseok looks up and he's smiling. It's small and gummy but it's there and it's fake. Baekhyun doesn't miss Minseok's slightly puffy eyes; they’re still just the slightest bit red.

Apparently, Baekhyun takes to long to continue so Minseok prompts, "What is it?"

"Well I--" He cuts himself off. It’d be the right thing to tell Minseok that he heard it all. And then from there, they could talk about it, decide what to do about this whole situation, but something holds Baekhyun back. Call him selfish, but he’s afraid of broaching the subject, he’s afraid of possibly convincing Minseok that he shouldn’t take priority because deep down he knows he needs that. He knows that he needs to feel as if he’s important, irreplaceable to the other.

“I'm gonna go over to Chanyeol's." He blurts out instead and Minseok's eyebrows furrow just a bit.

"Okay?" Minseok says, a bit confused. And then he's laughing -- forcing out a laugh, more like it -- and it it reveals a bone-deep tiredness that seems to settle in behind Minseok's eyes. Baekhyun can’t help but feel guilty "Don't worry, you have my permission."

"Yeah." Baekhyun nods before rushing out of the apartment as fast as he can.

 

He doesn’t have time to text Chanyeol about his sudden arrival. He’s lucky enough to find the front door unlocked so he just barges in, quickly shucking off his shoes before moving into the apartment to find Chanyeol.

Chanyeol’s in the kitchen. Baekhyun’s presence seems to startle him what with the way his shoulders visibly flinch. In his tear-distorted vision, Baekhyun just barely makes out Chanyeol slowly turn around, closing whatever he had been eating, and sticking it back into the fridge. Baekhyun doesn’t really know what Chanyeol was eating, nor does he really care. Instead, he’s rushing toward the other, quickly grappling his arms around Chanyeol’s waist and hugging it close.

“Something wrong?” Chanyeol asks, a bit confused, encircling Baekhyun with his own arms.

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything, doesn’t really want to say anything, but he really can’t help the way his shoulders jerk up with each muffled ragged sob. "Baekhyun?" Chanyeol says, a sense of urgent concern settling into his voice. "What's wrong?"

"Minseok and Lu Han fought today," Baekhyun answers vaguely.

"Why are you crying then?” Chanyeol asks, rubbing his hands across Baekhyun’s back in a manner that’s supposed to be comforting. “Did something really bad happen? Did… Did they break up?” 

Shaking his head furiously, Baekhyun repeats. "Minseok and Lu Han fought today. And it was all because of me." And before he can stop himself, the details of the argument are falling out of his mouth faster than he can process.

 

“I’m the one holding them back. I’m the one keeping them from happiness.” He finishes with a sob, burying his face into Chanyeol’s shoulder. “And I feel bad about it, I really do but it’s so ed up. I’m so ed up. I can’t stand the thought of losing someone like Minseok even if it’s for his own happiness.”

“You don’t have to lose him, you know,” Chanyeol answers back, squeezing Baekhyun just the slightest bit tighter, “Just because they move in together, because they marry, that doesn’t mean that you’re out of the picture. You can still be friends with them, he’ll still care for you.”

“But that’s how it begins,” Baekhyun mumbles, “You drift apart slowly, at first until the bond is stretched too far and breaks.”

“Why?” Chanyeol questions, “Don’t you believe in long distance relationships?”

“No.” Baekhyun answers point-blank. “They don’t work. Anything without face-to-face interactions, nearly daily meetings is bound to fail.”

“Well, that’s not going to happen with you and Minseok. Your bond is too strong.” 

“That’s what happened after high school.” Baekhyun snips. “That’s proof enough that our bond, even at it’s strongest, couldn’t even -- can’t even -- pass the test of time.” He asserts, resting his forehead on Chanyeol’s shoulder. 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says softly, beckoningly, but Baekhyun refuses to lift his head. Chanyeol calls his name again, until he eventually just takes action, gently gripping Baekhyun’s chin and lifting it so that Baekhyun has no choice but to look at him.

He tries not to, though. As he averts his eyes, his gaze unconsciously trails down to Chanyeol’s mouth and has his blurting out,  “Why are your lips so red?” 

And Chanyeol seems to tense. He’s quick to wipe the colour off his lips with the palm of his hand. Afterwards, he admits, “You caught me at a bad time. I was eating a cherry popsicle."

"It's like December, why are you eating a cherry popsicle?" Baekhyun has to question and he already feels himself calming down from his little bout of hysteria.

“Cherry popsicles are great,” The other defends, his expression looking a bit at ease but about what, Baekhyun doesn’t know.

“Can I have one?” Baekhyun asks earnestly but Chanyeol immediately shakes his head. 

“I ran out. That was my last one.”

“I just saw you put something back in the fridge. So there should be some of yours left over, can I have that?” 

Again, Chanyeol shakes his head. “There was only like a bite left and I freaked when you came and put it in the fridge; it’s probably melted by now.”

“Why did you freak out, it was just a popsicle.”

“Because,” There’s a hesitation before Chanyeol gives his answer. “I knew you’d question me about why I was eating it and just wanted to avoid a conversation like this entirely.”

And the reasoning is so shaky, suspicious even but before Baekhyun can say anything, Chanyeol continues on, his voice far more serious than before. “But stop. We’re getting off topic and this is probably your plan to stall for time, avoid the topic.” Baekhyun can’t exactly deny that as Chanyeol continues, “Minseok didn’t forget you in college.”

And Baekhyun’s face hardens, “Yes he did. After we went our separate ways to college, he just stopped hanging out with me, stopped coming to see me, stopped contacting me in general.”

“Can you honestly tell me that you tried to keep in contact? That you also put some effort into keeping your relationship alive and healthy?” Chanyeol only watches as Baekhyun’s mouth opens to reply but quickly hinges shut. “I don’t want to lecture you but you know that you only get out as much as you put in.”

“But that’s how it had always been. He’s the one that always reaches, always apologizes first after a fight; it’s how our friendship works.”

“Did you ever think that’s not how friendships are supposed to work?”

“Shut up, we aren’t talking about the past.” Baekhyun cuts in, the frown on his face deepening as the seconds tick by, “We’re talking about now and what I should be doing.”

“But it’s not the past.” Chanyeol says, “It’s not the past because you’re still like that. You expect him to be the one that sacrifices everything for you -- even if that means screwing up his own relationship with his lover. You’re being selfish.”

“I am selfish, in case you haven’t noticed. You’re supposed to be on my side!” Baekhyun cries out, pushing Chanyeol back none too gently. “You support me and my decision, no matter what!”

“There are no sides in this. It isn’t a matter of choosing ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, it’s about choosing wisely and quite frankly, you’re being ing stupid!” Chanyeol yells and Baekhyun flinches back. It’s the first time he’s ever seen Chanyeol angry. It doesn’t last long because Chanyeol quickly mollifies, his face contorting into a look of worry, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just… I get a bit cranky when I’m hungry.”

Baekhyun hesitates before he deadpans, "But you just ate a cherry Popsicle."

Chanyeol blinks at him. "It wasn't enough," he snorts seconds later and the tension dissipates as a smile makes its way onto Chanyeol's expression. "No but really--"

"I know, I know," Baekhyun interrupts, comically rolling his eyes. "I need to let Minseok go, let him be happy, all of that stuff... I know that already. I was just being stupid before; crying makes me revert back the mentality of a seven year old, all stubborn and childish."

"You are a child." Chanyeol smiles affectionately and moves to ruffle Baekhyun's hair.

Baekhyun's quick enough to bat it away, though. "I'm 26. And you're younger than me."

"Still a child." Chanyeol murmurs.

"But as much as I do want Minseok to be happy, to go get himself married and live with the love of his life, I do still need Minseok." When Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, Baekhyun effectively stops him with a raised hand. "And no, before you say anything about distance not being a problem so long as you put effort into the relationship, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about financially. As much as I hate to admit it, I am almost completely financially dependent on Minseok at this point in time."

“Why don’t you move in with me, then?” Chanyeol suggests quickly after, so nonchalant. 

“Well that,” Baekhyun says, at a loss for words “That was certainly… sudden.”

“I don’t mean now. I mean like when -- if Minseok moves out, you could always just live with me.” Chanyeol says.

“Yes but…” Baekhyun doesn't straight out say it but the skepticism in his expression is enough to tell he’s not entirely comfortable with the way the conversation is going. 

“No it won’t be weird, I swear!” Chanyeol reads Baekhyun’s mind, protesting his internal hesitancy toward moving in before offering, “I… During Christmas and New Years, come live with me for a week or two. I’m sure Lu Han and Minseok would love the alone time, and it can be like a sort of test run to see how it’d be like living with me. If you don’t like it, then no commitment, you’ll just continue to live with them. If you’re okay with it, then you can give Minseok the okay. You can tell him that even if he decides to live with Lu Han, you’ll be okay. Make the decision entirely about what he wants, not what he thinks is best for you.”

“I don’t know…” Baekhyun says quietly, trying to ignore the familiar ache of the knot in his stomach. “I feel like this is happening too fast.”

Chanyeol seems to understand his worry and he begins to slowly Baekhyun’s hair again. “I mean you already stay over every now and then,” He says in a soothing voice, “It won’t be too much of a change to just live here for a week or two. Plus, don’t you think Lu Han and Minseok deserve some time to themselves. Especially for the holidays. Especially after this kind of argument.”

Baekhyun looks up at him uncertainly. Chanyeol’s eyes are practically pleading and Baekhyun can’t take that kind of pressure. He presses his face into the Chanyeol’s shoulder again to hide himself. “Can you… Can you give me some time to think about it?” He asks softly, mouthing the words against Chanyeol’s clavicle.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol breathes out, “Take your time. You have all the time in the world.”

x    x    x

It doesn’t take long to come to his decision, only about half a day of Lu Han’s accusatory glares and offside jibs has Baekhyun texting Chanyeol the okay. The attacks are subtle, though; if Baekhyun hadn’t overheard Lu Han and Minseok’s arguments, he probably wouldn’t even have noticed them. But he had, so Lu Han’s actions are glaringly obvious.

And it isn't as if they're outright offensive -- really they’re just extensions of Lu Han's usual humour, just targeted more directly at Baekhyun -- but as they add up, insult after insult, Baekhyun just can't take it anymore.

He stands up abruptly in the middle of dinner and wordlessly walks to his room. He doesn't look back but from the sounds of it, Minseok's chair squeaks back and he's just about to follow the other when Lu Han stops him, saying, "Let him be, Minseok."

Baekhyun shuts his door before he can hear anything else.

 

He spends his night stuffing clothes into his luggage he'd found buried in his closet. The next morning is when he drops the news.

“I’m going to just live with Chanyeol for a bit.” Baekhyun announces as he rolls his luggage into the living room where Minseok and Lu Han are sitting. Minseok’s head jerks around to look at Baekhyun.

“What do you mean?”

“Just for a week or two,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Just as he sees Minseok's mouth fall open for the obvious question of why, Baekhyun cuts in. "I’m really serious about,” He swallows, trying to play this off as nonchalantly as he can, “About Chanyeol. I… I really am thinking of going the next step and living with him. I want this to be like a test run.” He ends with a forced smile.

The look of concern that lies heavy on Minseok’s face doesn’t dissipate. “Are-- Are you sure?” He asks skeptically.

“Oh course!” Baekhyun says, faking the cheery tones in his voice, “I erm… really like Chanyeol! I think that… That he could be the one!” He has a feeling that the smile that he has plastered on his face is too wide, too fake but he doesn’t let it fall.

“But weren’t you worried that--” Minseok rushes to say but Baekhyun interrupts.

“No no, that’s all in the past! I’m not worried about anything that’s all old news.” He exaggerates and he really hopes that Minseok will just drop the damned topic before he starts to question himself. Again. 

Thankfully, it’s Lu Han who intervenes. “I think you should let him. It’s his life, I think you should leave him alone to do whatever he wants with his life.” And It isn't hard for Baekhyun to pick out just the slightest bit of venom in Lu Han’s voice. But it's hard for Minseok, apparently, who glances over at him with a worried look.

"But don't you think it's too soon? You've dated him for less than a year."

"People have moved in after less." Baekhyun shrugs.

"What's it matter to us?" Lu Han snorts, "He's a grown man, he can go sell himself to a whorehouse if he really wants to."

Minseok’s expression clouds, eyes furrowing at Lu Han's remark, but he doesn't call him out on it. Instead, he turns back to Baekhyun, "I'm not sure about this..."

"What Lu Han said, what's this matter to you? I don't need your permission, you know." Baekhyun says and he thinks he says it lightheartedly but apparently his delivery comes out differently than he'd expected as Minseok's expression crumples.

And though Lu Han seemed annoyed by Minseok's hesitancy to let Baekhyun move out, he looks as if he's ready to kill Baekhyun when he speaks, when Baekhyun only adds to Lu Han's original point. Baekhyun's not exactly sure what to make of this.

“I.. I suppose so." Minseok relents, forcing himself to quirk into a tiny smile. "Go ahead, have fun with Chanyeol."

“I’m just going across the hall, not moving across the world.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes and he doesn't miss how Lu Han's glaring at him.

>x    x    x

Just as Chanyeol had said, it’s really not all that difficult to transition into having him by his side 24/7. For the most part, it's with ease that they learn to work around each other; the only problem that Baekhyun has is finding a good area to write. 

His biggest concern is Chanyeol, really. The apartment is fairly big, spacious in a sense, but it's pretty difficult to find an area where Chanyeol won't easily find him. His best option so far seems to be the closet and he's just about to slip in there, his hands already resting on the doorknob, when Chanyeol stops him. "What are you doing?" Chanyeol asks, looking a bit spooked. 

He doesn't exactly recall when Chanyeol entered the room; he certainly wasn't there about three seconds prior. Baekhyun tried not to disclose anything, instead trying to hide his computer behind his back. "I just... Wanted to check if you had any extra... Uh shirts for me to wear."

There's uncertainty resting on Chanyeol's brow that translates into suspicion in his voice. "Are... You out of clothes?"

"Ye-yeah..." He answers, "Or at least I will be soon. I'm just... Thinking ahead."

"Okay." Chanyeol eventually says after a long, long beat of silence. "But my shirts are in my wardrobe, not in this closet."

"Oh." Reluctantly he lets go of the doorknob as Chanyeol waves him over to the wardrobe on the other side of the room. He takes hesitant steps, afraid to reveal what's in his hands behind him but Baekhyun can already feel the computer beginning to slip from his finger. It takes a bit of jostling to keep the device from its inevitable death and he can only hope that Chanyeol doesn't notice.

Chanyeol does, though. Quite frankly, it'd be far more difficult not to. "Why do you have your computer behind your back?" He asks point blank and Baekhyun doesn't know what to say, his mind blanking on excuses, so he doesn't say anything. "Were... Were you going in there," Chanyeol starts with a pursed expression, "to write?"

"No," is Baekhyun's instinctive answer but he finds himself amending his words just seconds later. "Okay yes. I just... I don't want you around when I'm writing." He brings the computer out of hiding, hugging it into his chest.

"Why?" Chanyeol asks, not at all offended by the words. But as the words set in, the crease in his brow deepens. "Wait. Are you afraid I'm going to look at it?"

Again, Baekhyun's instinctive denial comes out but he refutes it soon after with a blush tinging his face. "I just... Really don't want anyone to read it. Especially you."

Chanyeol laughs. "I'm not going to read it! I told you that already." He grins but as the seconds go by, the smile begins to fade. "Or do you not trust me?"

And the blush deepens as Baekhyun begins to gnaw at his lip. "I do." He confirms, "But I don't know. I'm just afraid. Curiosity is pretty hard to ignore."

The smile returns to Chanyeol. He steps forward towards Baekhyun, taking the computer right from his hands. "Look. I promised you, didn't I?" He says softly, "I won't read it without your permission. I would never do anything without your permission. Now how about you just write in the living room, I'll be busy with my work and you'll be busy with yours; we'll both just do our own things."

He contemplates it. Considers saying no but how could he to Chanyeol's pleading face. "Okay." Baekhyun finally exhales. He lets Chanyeol lead him into the living room with a smile.

“You take the couch,” Chanyeol smiles, ushering him over to the left side of the familiar brown couch. He then walks over to the opposite side of the coffee table in front of the couch and drops to the floor, stretching out before grabbing his computer from off of the table. “I’ll be over here. See! There’s no way I’ll be able to read anything you write!”

At first, Baekhyun stays close to one side of the couch, his knees close to his chest as he keeps his computer extremely near him, screen facing into him. As the hours pass, though, Baekhyun begins to take up more of the couch until he’s completely splayed out over the couch, stomach faced down into the seat and computer balancing precariously on the arm of the sofa as he types away. His gaze flicks back to see Chanyeol still on the floor, worrying his bottom lip through his teeth as works on whatever assignment he’s on now. Baekhyun flashes a smile that goes unnoticed.

Sometime during his stay, Baekhyun grows comfortable enough to even sit next to Chanyeol and work side by side. 

 

It gets to the point where Baekhyun's comfortable enough to even work on it even in bed. And it’s when he’s sprawled across the expanse of the bed, surrounded by the first couple of printed chapters of his novel that he actually falls asleep, hard at work.

It’s only around 8 when he falls asleep on top of his mountain of papers but he awakens nearly 3 hours later to find himself tucked into the bedsheets in a way he was most certainly not in when he first closed his eyes. What’s more mysterious is that his papers are gone and he freaks, throwing the covers off of him and rushing throughout the room to look for the missing papers. 

He doesn’t manage to find them so his next course of action is to go ask Chanyeol if he knew what happened to them. In the dining room, that’s where Baekhyun finds Chanyeol flipping through the pages of his unfinished novel. “What are you doing?” Baekhyun asks, his blood beginning to boil.

Chanyeol freezes, setting down the stack of papers back on the table. “I’m--”

But Baekhyun doesn’t let him finish. “You’re reading my novel, that’s what you’re doing. You’re reading my ing novel!” He screams, scrambling over to snatch his bundle of papers. 

“Baekhyun--”

And again, Baekhyun cuts in, clutching the stack near this chest. “How far did you get?” He hisses out, eyes slit into a glare. “How much do you know?”

Before Chanyeol even begins to answer the questions, Baekhyun interrupts once more, “Why the hell did you do that? You promised me that you wouldn’t read it. What the  are you doing breaking your promise?! You said--”

This time around it’s Chanyeol who interjects. “Baekhyun!” He exclaims, finally getting his first word out. Baekhyun obediently quiets but his lips are still contorted into a hard-pressed line. “I didn’t read it.”

“Then what were you doing with my pages?!” 

“Don’t you trust me?” Chanyeol asks abruptly and his eyes are stormy with a challenge. 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, in a deep breath. As he exhales, he feels his head clear, the irrationality draining from his system. “I do. I just… you know how protective I am over my novel.”

“I know,” Chanyeol nods, understandingly, “And I guess I shouldn’t have touched it. It probably wasn’t the smartest things to do but I swear I didn’t read it.”

“What were you doing with it then?” Baekhyun asks. He tries his best at keeping any kind of accusation from seeping into his tone. 

“Organizing. You fell asleep on top of the papers and made quite a mess of them. After tucking you into bed, I first just put them on the bedside stand, but when I went in to check on you, I thought you’d be frustrated to see them all out of order so I took it upon myself to just properly arrange them.” Chanyeol gives a little chuckle, “Looking back now, I guess I should’ve just let them be.”

“How’d you organize them without reading the pages?” Baekhyun blurts out his question.

“There are page numbers in the top corner of each page. So I just used those.” He answers and suddenly Baekhyun feels like a jerk for getting so worked up over Chanyeol’s action. It was all just a good deed, a favour to him, and yet he had gotten so angry.

Sheepishly, he averts his gaze to the ground. “So you don’t know anything about it?”

“Apart from that the novel begins with the word ‘It was when...’ and that the main character’s name is Sehun,” Chanyeol pauses, the corners of his mouth quirking up into a smile,  “I swear on my life that I saw nothing.”

Baekhyun mirrors the grin. “Well, good.” 

x    x    x

Apart from that one conflict, the rest of Baekhyun’s stay passes without incident. The days pass quickly, peacefully; it seems like the Christmas gift exchange (he gives Chanyeol a scarf; Chanyeol somehow gets him a Rolex. How’s that for fair?) and the welcoming of the new year is just a blink of an eye apart. Soon, too soon, is the end date for the the little test is coming to an end.

About a week into January, Baekhyun returns to Minseok’s apartment. And it’s not because of some big fight or because of an intolerance to Chanyeol as a roommate but rather because it’s the end of the trial period. 

He loves living with Chanyeol, really, loves being there, waking up to the sight of a sleeping Chanyeol, wrapped in the warm embrace of the younger. He loves the sense of comfort that Chanyeol brings him, how at ease he feels around the younger, but he can’t escape the feelings of dread that come as a result of thinking of it as a permanent situation, of thinking of Chanyeol as a permanent fixture in his life. So he does the next best thing.

It's a bit of a stretch to say that he returns to live with Minseok. Instead, he spends about two nights in that apartment, the other five in Chanyeol's. It's kind of cheating, in a sense, since he's essentially living with Chanyeol at this point, but is still away just enough of the time to claim that his life is not completely entangled with Chanyeol. So long as he doesn't cross that line, he's good.

x    x    x

On one of the five nights he's sleeping over at Chanyeol's, Baekhyun hears Chanyeol’s phone ring in the middle of the night. It wakes him up; it’d be hard not to with Chanyeol’s obnoxious pop song ringtone blasting at full volume. It doesn’t seem to bother Chanyeol, though, who seems to be peacefully sleeping through it. Baekhyun is just about to reach across and answer it for him when he feels Chanyeol jolt awake. He doesn’t know why, whether it be out of instinct or surprise, but he immediately closes his eye and pretends to sleep. 

The obnoxious ringing of the phone quiets when Chanyeol accepts the call and Baekhyun can feel it as Chanyeol gets up off the bed. There’s a couple of footsteps away from the bed as Chanyeol settles against, or so Baekhyun guesses, a wall. “Now?!” Chanyeol hisses out before lowering his tone to a whisper, “Really?”

There’s a muffled response from the other side of the line but Baekhyun can’t make it out. All he hears is Chanyeol’s soft groan before he starts to walk again. There’s the sound of the door being opened and then there’s a beat of silence and Baekhyun can’t help but sneak a peek from under his eyelids. He sees Chanyeol glancing back at him, already halfway through the doorway.

He scrunches his eyes closed and if Chanyeol notices that Baekhyun is awake, he doesn’t show it as he just exits the room, closing the door with a soft click.

Baekhyun’s practically itching to get up and find out what Chanyeol’s doing. And it’s not that he doesn’t trust Chanyeol; he does. So much that it almost scares him sometimes. He’s just curious.

And the curiosity drives him to slip out of bed and press his ear up against the door in hopes of listening in to figure out what Chanyeol is up to. From what he can hear, someone has entered the apartment. “Hey,” It’s Jongdae. Baekhyun can distinguish his voice immediately. “Sorry to come so late but it’s important.” 

“What’s so important that couldn’t wait until morning?” is Chanyeol’s reply and Baekhyun can practically see his look of annoyance.

“They’re catching on. They actually confronted me about it." Jongdae says and before Baekhyun can even hope of piecing together exactly what that means, Chanyeol replies back.

“What does that mean for me?” 

There’s a hushed silence and Baekhyun tries to calm himself by holding his breath, afraid their soft voices will be drowned out by the sound of his thudding heart. He hears a sharp exhale before Jongdae speaks again.

“Nothing. I can still do it. We’ll have to just lay down low for a while before we can start it up again." Yet another pause before Jongdae whispers, “Is that okay?"

“It’s going to have to be okay.” Chanyeol sighs. “About how long until you can get me the next one?”

“I’m thinking about a month or two. I mean I denied everything but they’re still really suspicious.” 

“I think I can last. Just… when we start up again, how often do you think...?” He doesn’t finish the thought, only letting the words die on his tongue.

“I don’t know.” Jongdae confesses, “Maybe once every two weeks? Maybe even less often… It depends on how it goes. As time goes on, we can really start picking it back on but the next couple of months are gonna be a struggle.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol says quickly before repeating again, a bit slower this time around, “Okay. I can handle it.”

“You sure?” Baekhyun can hear the concern dripping into Jongdae’s voice. “I-I can…”

“You can what?” Chanyeol interrupts, his voice grave as he gives a bitter laugh. “I don’t want you to lose your job for me. I don’t deserve it.”

“The job isn’t important, you are important.” Jongdae argues halfheartedly.

“I’ll be fine.” There’s a hesitation and then Chanyeol continues, “It’s not like I’ll die from it.”

From the tone of Chanyeol’s voice, from the way the two crack up in a quiet laughter, it’s obvious that it’s an inside joke of some kind. Baekhyun just can’t figure it out at the moment.

“No but seriously,” Chanyeol starts again, “I’ll be okay. It’s nothing I haven’t been through before.”

“Yeah but last time--”

“Stop.” Chanyeol cuts in sharply, “It’s late and I think you should go home.”

“It’s late and I think I should stay here. Because it’s late.” Jongdae whines but then stops, “Oh my god wait is Baekhyun staying over again?”

“Maybe… Okay yes. Stop looking at me like that! Just… go away before you wake him up.” Chanyeol hisses but it’s harmless, missing any sort of edge.

“Okay okay man,” Jongdae laughs and then there’s a fluster of movement in what Baekhyun can imagine to be Jongdae shoving his feet back into shoes and pulling back on his jacket to brace the cold of the night. “You children have fun!” Jongdae sings out before Baekhyun hears the front door close. That’s his cue to get back into bed, huddling the blankets around him carefully and flipping to his side before shutting his eyes, pretending to sleep. 

It’s not long before Chanyeol returns to the room. As he slips back into the covers, he softly calls out, “Baek?” and before Baekhyun can stop himself, he gives a sound of affirmation.

Chanyeol instantly freezes. “You… You’re awake?” 

Baekhyun’s blood runs cold, his heart beating faster as he tries to come up with a viable reason as to why he was awake, one that does not have to do with the fact that he’s been eavesdropping. He gives another sleepy sound as he slowly turns to Chanyeol, hands coming up to wipe at his eyes. “I am now. You just woke me when you opened the door.” He lies, careful to avoid eye contact with the man staring intently back at him.

“Oh.” Chanyeol says, “Just now?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun answers quickly before snuggling into Chanyeol to hide his face. “What’d you do, go pee or something? You practically slammed the door on the way back in.”

Chanyeol chuckles before finally letting himself lay back onto the pillows. “Sorry about that.” He begins to slowly run his hand through Baekhyun’s hair.

Baekhyun’s quiet for a while, just cuddling into the warmth of Chanyeol and enjoying his touch. “Hey, this is gonna sound really weird,” He murmurs, “But I could’ve sworn I heard Jongdae’s voice just now.”

He doesn’t know where he’s going with this. He doesn’t know what kind of answer he’s expecting but he really just wants an affirmation of the meeting, proof that Chanyeol isn’t hiding something from him.

The hand in his hair stops and he hears Chanyeol swallow. There’s a laugh, shaky and awkward as Chanyeol answers, “You must’ve been dreaming.”

Baekhyun hesitates, “Yeah. I must have been,” He says slowly, keeping his voice steady in contrast to the rage, the disappointment that’s boiling inside. He tries to swallow it down; he's being unreasonable. There's no reason why he should be getting so angry over one little lie -- it's not like he's even given Chanyeol sufficient time to explain himself.

But he can't help it, he feels the pit of his stomach only tighten with anxiety and he doesn't know how to make this all go away.

Ultimately, he flips to his other side and keeps his back to Chanyeol, too frustrated with Chanyeol and himself, for overreacting like this. This is nothing. He trusts Chanyeol. This should be nothing.

There’s no more words exchanged between them for a while. Baekhyun is slowly being coaxed into sleep even with the tension hanging in the air. It must’ve been 15 minutes, 30 minutes maybe -- his sense of time is thrown out the window as he sways between consciousness -- before Chanyeol says something.

"Do you believe in fate?" 

Baekhyun's eyes pop open and he can't control the bitter laugh that bubbles at his throat, "Now's a weird time to ask, don't you think?" 

He ultimately rolls around to look at the other, surprised to still find him staring up at the ceiling. "I suppose now's a good a time as any." Chanyeol shrugs which comes out to be a rather odd looking gesture with his current positioning. 

Baekhyun expects him to elaborate on it but he's met with silence. "Where'd this come from?" He asks and he filters out the teasing edge in his voice as he watches Chanyeol's serious expression.

"I'm just thinking of one of our first conversations," Chanyeol replies dazedly, almost like he's transfixed in his thoughts. "You said we were soul mates. Do you believe in that kinda thing?" There's a certain thickness in the air that comes along with the seriousness in Chanyeol’s tone. One that’s uncomfortable, suffocating in the silence of the night. 

"You didn't think to bring this up before during, I don't know, our first conversation when this topic was relevant?" He chokes out, trying to play off his tension with a joking manner, trying to ease the tense atmosphere and will down the unease weighing down his chest.

It works, thank goodness, and Chanyeol laughs, breaking his gaze with the ceiling to turn onto his shoulder and look Baekhyun straight into the eyes. “I don’t know, it would’ve been weird if I just suddenly asked your opinion over fate and destiny when we didn’t even know each other. It would’ve seemed like I was making a move.” 

“Maybe you should have made a move.” Baekhyun comments, grateful for the opportunity to change the topic.  “I thought you were dating Jongdae for ’s sake.”

Chanyeol makes a face and even though only about half his face is illuminated by the moon’s light, Baekhyun still giggles at his expression. “Why would you ever think that?” Chanyeol laughs.

“Because you’re so gay together,” Baekhyun deadpans, “I’m still afraid you’re going to run off with him in the middle of the night.” Unintentionally, his voice comes at harder than intended and that unsettling feeling is back.

Chanyeol doesn’t seem affected by it, though. “Why would I go off with him when I have you?” He whispers as he lifts a hand and runs a thumb over Baekhyun’s cheek slowly.

Baekhyun leans into the touch, his eyes falling close as the feeling dispels all other unsettling thoughts taking root in his mind.

He’s relaxed, soothed by Chanyeol’s gentle touch, but Chanyeol has to persist. “But really, I want to know your thoughts.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun sighs, “Okay. Well I don’t think it exists.”

He can see the slight downturn of Chanyeol’s frown and feels the need to elaborate. “I mean, it’s nice to think that there’s something out there. Something that binds us all together and is there to help us back up once we’ve ed up everything.” He pauses, drawing a breath, “But I don’t believe in it.”

Chanyeol’s silent, only gazing into Baekhyun’s eyes with the silent beckoning to go on. “I just--” Baekhyun stops himself to collect his thoughts, “Yes, it’s nice to think that there’s something to guide us back to the ‘right’ path but it’s also nice to think… To think that no matter how much we up, it’ll get better, because something’s out there that has your back, that is making sure you’re doing the right thing.”

Chanyeol nods along and Baekhyun continues, “But at the same time, that makes it surreal, to think that we don’t have any control in our life.”

Briefly, Chanyeol opens his mouth, as if to speak, but hinges it closed when he realizes that Baekhyun is not quite done with expressing his thoughts. Baekhyun quiets for a second, and then motions for him to speak. “But we do have control,” Chanyeol rushes out, as if he has something to prove. “It’s… It’s just that there’s something there to protect us if we really mess up, if we really need help…”

“And that’s why I don’t believe in it. Or at least don’t want to believe in it.” Baekhyun cuts in, “To think that there’s always something to bring us back to the correct path, I think that’s wrong. Or maybe that all of the bad things that happen are actually a part of the correct path; I think that's wrong too. That would mean we can’t seek things out for ourselves, forced to stay on this stupid predetermined path that some sick celestial being just planned for us.” Baekhyun heaves a sigh, “Believing in fate is like admitting we’re game pieces: We can’t seek our own happiness. We can’t choose who we love. We can’t even ing ruin ourselves!” And by the end his breathing has picked up as he practically spits the words out. 

It’s quiet for a bit after that, only the steady sounds of staggered breaths filling the air. “Okay.” Chanyeol says after a while. “I’m sorry for bringing that up. I didn’t realize that you… that you felt that way.”

“Sorry I just… I don’t know what came over me.” Baekhyun apologizes and then offers Chanyeol a slight smile, “So what do you think about it?”

Chanyeol laughs, breaking up the tense atmosphere, “My views seem a bit inappropriate after what you just said.”

Baekhyun nuzzles into Chanyeol’s side. “Tell me,” He murmurs, just barely audible. “I want to hear.”

“I believe in it.” Chanyeol states, point-blank. “I think everything in our lives are predetermined and we just have to wait for things to play out. There’s something out there that plans it all out for us, bounds us to certain people so that certain things, certain events play out the same way throughout lifetimes.”

“You optimist…” Baekhyun mumbles under his breath, and he thinks he says it quietly enough but then Chanyeol replies.

“What’s wrong with being an optimist?” 

“Nothing.” Baekhyun murmurs, “It’ll just hurt like hell when the universe s all over your sunny plans.” 

Chanyeol laughs, the low rumble of his chest resonates throughout Baekhyun. “But isn’t that the good thing about being an optimist? You take the universe’s ting as just another blessing.”

Baekhyun snorts and they lapse into a comfortable silence as Chanyeol moves his arms to wrap around Baekhyun, pulling him as close into his body as possible. Baekhyun accommodates by slipping his own leg between Chanyeol’s, entangling their legs so that they’re both more comfortable. For a while, there’s just the sounds of soft, shallow breaths that fill the room and Baekhyun’s mind is blank, too busy trying to comprehend the sheer amount of Chanyeol that floods his senses.

“Remember that time you asked why I was so persistent in making this work?” Chanyeol asks softly after a while, and Baekhyun remembers. Of course he remembers. 

Chanyeol continues on without a noise of affirmation from Baekhyun, “I feel like we’re fated to be together. Like there’s a driving force that keeps us together, like we’re bound together across lifetimes.”
          
Chanyeol takes a breath. “I know that you aren’t ready yet. And maybe it’ll take you an eternity before you’re truly ready but that’s okay. I can wait forever for you. I’m meant to wait forever for you.”

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say to that, really. He hates himself for feeling even the slightest bit happy at Chanyeol’s words, words that he’ll probably never be able to say back.   

The silence is sombering, it has Chanyeol snapping out of his musing. “I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.” He’s quick to apologize. “I’m sorry. Just… just forget I said all of that.”

Baekhyun doesn’t forget. 

x    x    x

Baekhyun doesn’t like to admit it but he thinks about Jongdae and Chanyeol’s middle of the night conversation far more that he’d like. His mind fills in the circumstances with outrageous scenarios; he can’t help himself.

It doesn’t help when Jongdae just so happens to appear around the apartment less and less. 

“Jongdae doesn’t seem to be around as often,” Baekhyun points out when he’s over one day.

“He got a promotion.” Chanyeol answers quickly and Baekhyun tries not to notice the way his eye twitches. “Business is probably picking up at the hospital. He’s probably too busy to come by as often as before.”

Baekhyun only hums noncommittally. He drops the conversation.

x    x    x

Chanyeol seems to be taking them out of the apartment more and more often. Whether he takes Baekhyun out to the forest, to the cafe, or to some random restaurant,  Baekhyun is noticing a significant increase in legitimate outings. 

And had this been before, he wouldn’t have thought much of it, but ever since that midnight conversation Chanyeol had with Jongdae, he’s beginning to view everything with a bit more scrutiny. Suddenly keeping Baekhyun out of the apartment, almost like he’s hiding something in the apartment, calls for suspicion.

He makes an effort to spend more time in the apartment, tries to make every excuse to stay in, but Chanyeol always seems to have a reason to get them out.

“Baek!” Chanyeol says excitedly, shaking his shoulders back and forth and soon as he has him cornered against one of the countertops. “We need to go the rooftop!”

Baekhyun groans, thinking that it’ll probably be another one of Chanyeol’s weak excuses to get them out of his apartment. “Do we have to?”

Chanyeol only nods excitedly. Grabbing one of Baekhyun’s wrists, he tries his best to tug him toward the doorway. 

“We just ate.” Baekhyun argues, keeping his feet rooted to the ground. “There’s no way we’re going to a restaurant or the cafe. And if you’re trying to bring me to the forest again, I’m tired. I really don’t want to go on any hour long walks…”

Blinking at Baekhyun with an indistinguishable look, Chanyeol quirks his mouth to the side. “Since when did the places I take you become so easily categorizable?”

“Well I’m not wrong, am I? You only take me to like three kinds of places.”

“Todays different, I swear.” Chanyeol affirms with a smile and Baekhyun can only relent.

 

He doesn’t, actually, bring them to a restaurant, cafe, or even a forest. Oddly enough, he brings them upstairs. To the rooftop. Where there’s a blanket and a bottle of wine lain out.

“When did you even have time to set this up?” Baekhyun gapes as Chanyeol brings him over to the outspread blanket and sits him down.

“Uh, sometime before dinner,” Chanyeol shrugs, “I just stepped out of the apartment for a second and laid out a blanket -- not that difficult.”

“And wine,” Baekhyun reminds him, picking up the bottle to inspect it. “What would’ve happened if someone stole it while it was just lying out here?” He comments offhandedly as he scans the label. Cabernet sauvignon. He has no idea what that means.

Out of nowhere, Chanyeol pulls out two wine glasses and a wine opener, holding out a hand as a silent gesture for Baekhyun to hand over the bottle. “Wine is nice and all,” Baekhyun starts out as he tilts his head back to look at the pitch black of the sky. “But why are we up here? Atmosphere? To serve as some kind of inspirational muse again?”

“Well that,” Chanyeol pauses as he finishes the final twist on the cork opener and then begins to pour them into the glasses. Quickly, he hands one off to Baekhyun. “And there’s something else but we might have to wait a while.”

“What is it?” 

The only answer Baekhyun gets is a cheesy wink and cryptic words: “You’ll see.”

 

He does, indeed, see but it takes hours for them to finally appear. It’s freezing cold and Baekhyun has taken to rolling himself up into a ball to conserve heat, but it’s worth it when he begins to see the stars fall. “Meteor shower?” He asks, watching the falling streaks of light paint the night sky.

“Yeah it’s the quadrantids. Comes around this time of the year every year. Pretty cool, right?”

Baekhyun hums appreciatively, unable to think of any words to describe the pure beauty of the meteoroids in the night sky. Instead of even trying to convey exactly what he feels, he thoughtlessly says, “Make a wish.” He hears a scoff to his side and that has him glancing over at Chanyeol for just a second.

“Making wishes is stupid.” Chanyeol rolls his eyes, “It’ll never happen.”

“What, so you believe in destiny but not wishes?” Baekhyun asks teasingly.

“It’s different.” Chanyeol replies and Baekhyun can practically hear the pout in his words. “Destiny, you can observe. Wishes you cannot.”

“And how does one observe destiny?” Baekhyun laughs good-naturedly, turning to glance at Chanyeol. When he lays eyes on the solemn expression on the others face, he stops.

“It’s just--” Chanyeol stops himself, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in thought. “Patiently.” He finishes after a second’s pause. “How do you observe destiny? Patiently.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, snuggling just a bit closer into the warmth of Chanyeol. “Whatever you say.” He whispers, pressing a kiss on Chanyeol’s chin.

“Don’t you trust me?” Chanyeol laughs.

“I do,” Baekhyun insists, “But with something like this--”

“Then, just trust me.” Chanyeol interrupts, wrapping the blanket around them just a little bit tighter. “Believe me.”

x    x    x

It’s later that week when he finds it. 

Chanyeol is out for one of the rare occasions where one of his employers actually wants to discuss with him in person and Baekhyun, iled from his own apartment as per usual, decides that it’d be cute to fix something for them to eat for dinner.

It’s when he’s rooting through the fridge that he finds it.

It’s wedged somewhere way in the back of Chanyeol’s jam-packed fridge, behind the piles of leftovers, of random ingredients, of cartons of juice and bottles of water. And he supposes it’s weird how he’s never found it before given that he’s been going to this apartment for about ten months, slept over for many nights, and even lived with Chanyeol for a couple of weeks, but what’s weirder is the fact that it’s almost like someone tried to hide it. What with where it’s shoved into the back corner of the fridge, obscured by countless items, and even stacked beneath a couple of things, it only makes the situation all the more suspicious, all the worst. 

It’s already difficult enough not to jump to conclusions when you’re holding your boyfriend’s packet of human blood. 

He supposes that it doesn't necessarily have to be human blood as he rolls the packet around in his hand, sickened by the way it moves. It could technically be deer blood, blood from some random animal, but the way that it's stored in those bags hospitals usually put donated pints of blood in points otherwise.

He honestly doesn’t know how to react, how he’s supposed to react to a situation like this. But before he can really put any thought into it and figure out what to do with this new information, it suddenly hits him. He has an eery feeling that this one can't be the only one in the apartment and he sets off to go find them.

Another appears in the the depths of the fridge, hidden in some imaginative way in the way that it is shoved in the empty spaces between the bottles on the highest shelf of the fridge. It’s opened, drained about halfway of its content and Baekhyun really doesn’t want to think about what happened to the rest of the blood.

He moves onto the trashcan, determined to find something and he does: a couple of empty transfusion packs scattered throughout the content of the trash.

It’s only when he has dug through everything, found everything that there is to find, that he starts to think. It's only when he's sitting up against the fridge, the packets of blood in hand and the empty transfusion packs lying in front of him, does he realize just how absurd this whole situation really is. It finally sinks in what all of this might mean and he doesn’t really know what to make of it. 

And all he can think about is of the other night, of Chanyeol’s warm breath puffing gently against the shell of his ear. Just trust me. Believe me.

So that’s what he does.

 

He loses his appetite after seeing the packs in the fridge. More importantly, he loses his motivation to even cook, to even incite the suspicion in Chanyeol that he may have seen that he shouldn’t have. So instead he orders takeout.

Chanyeol’s face is just as excited to see the food laid out on the table, Baekhyun waiting for him in one of the seats. “You’re here.” Chanyeol greets with a smile, shrugging off his coat and haphazardly just throwing it toward the general direction of the couch. It misses, falls to the floor, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

Baekhyun only hums in agreement, standing up to hand over one of the plates to Chanyeol and then opening up the takeout. It’s gone cold in the time he’s waited for Chanyeol but it’s nothing the microwave can’t fix.

It’s only once they’ve heated up their food and sat back down at the table to eat that Baekhyun even thinks of broaching the subject. And whether it be for Chanyeol’s sake or for his own sanity that he takes the round-about way of doing it.

“I was going to cook you something,” Baekhyun brings up randomly, slyly, and Chanyeol’s reaction is instantaneous. He freezes, chopsticks about midway to his mouth. 

“Were you?” He asks quietly. 

“Yeah.” Baekhyun nods with a pleasant smile pasted on his face. “I was going to. Took the ingredients out and everything. But then I realized that I at cooking.” 

Chanyeol laughs but the sound is shaky, the attempt at nonchalance far too obvious. "D-did you really? Well..." And he trails off because he doesn't know what else to say, what else he should say to help the situation. 

No one says anything at first and Chanyeol goes back to eating. Baekhyun waits about a minute for the atmosphere to settle before he tries again. “I found something interesting in the fridge.”

And this time Chanyeol’s hands clench. Hard. Hard enough to break the chopsticks. The metal chopsticks. “Wow, these chopsticks most have been getting old,” He huffs out a laugh, immediately getting up to throw away the snapped utensils. “I mean… L-look at how easily they broke. I’m going to get another pair.” He finishes abruptly and scrambles into the kitchen.

Now, Baekhyun’s heart is beating, thudding faster than it ever has before. “Chanyeol,” He starts out slowly while Chanyeol is still out of sight, “Why do you…” But he cuts himself off. He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want to find out the truth, doesn’t want to put an end to this fantasy so instead he changes his words at the last moment. “Why do you have banana milk in your fridge? That ’s for children.”

“Oh.” is all he hears from inside the kitchen but seconds later, Chanyeol comes back out with a fresh pair of chopsticks. There’s nothing blatantly different about his expression, but rather something more subtle. The tension’s bled out of his shoulder, and his eyes no longer seem to be alight with fear. “It’s not for children.” Chanyeol frowns. “I like it.”

“Because if you like it, then it’s obviouslyyyyy not for children.” Baekhyun deadpans but breaks out into a smile seconds later. “Now let’s eat.”

The rest of the meal is peaceful, and it’s only when they’ve finished eating and have begun clearing the table that Baekhyun tries to bring it up again. 

But he chickens out again. This time, only getting as far as getting Chanyeol’s attention before he stops himself. Chanyeol’s still watching him, though, eyes alert as he waits for Baekhyun to finish what he was going to say but Baekhyun can’t do it. So instead, he just says: “Promise me you’ll never lie to me.” It’s more of something he blurts out, rather than something he actually means to say, and it seems to unnerve Chanyeol -- it would unnerve anyone really.

Chanyeol recovers from it fairly quickly, his face breaking into yet another jovial smile. “Of course. Why would I ever lie to you?”