JUNGKOOK

The youngest may be seen as the golden maknae, the perfect one, the ‘he-who-can-do-no-wrong’ figure by the media and fans, but Jungkook knows the truth; he feels insecure most of the time, and is always acutely aware of his fears (Yoongi...Yoongi is a fear). Bangtan has been Jungkook’s home for a large portion of his childhood, each member pouring a bit of themselves into him as he grew up, he sitting in the living room in early in the morning reflecting on what he’s learned.

Namjoon has taught him the importance of words, taught him when to speak and when to be quiet. Jin has taught him the importance of patience and letting people grow and change, and Jungkook smiles as he thinks about the older man’s motherly ways. Hoseok has taught him to smile, through good times and bad. A smile can change the course of a day and Hoseok’s smile has turned clouds into sunshine for Jungkook on many occasions.  Taehyung and Jimin are his family, his closest companions. They’re like his own skin, a second part of himself that Jungkook would definitely be incomplete without.

Yoongi.

Yoongi.

His mind falters at the man’s name. What has he taught him? It’s not so much about what he has learned from Yoongi, it’s more a matter of how the man’s presence affects him. Yoongi is like a sweet-smelling aroma that infiltrates every one of Jungkook’s senses, Yoongi’s aura permeates and pulses through him and try as he might, he can do nothing to keep from falling under the man’s spell. Yoongi’s voice is music to his ears, and Yoongi’s gummy smile brings out his own smile (even when he doesn’t want it to) and it really is a little frustrating.

Yoongi makes him feel things, things that he doesn’t understand; things he is not sure he is ready for. Jungkook is both his most bold and his most timid self around the older man, and the emotions that Yoongi evokes inside him are confusing and exciting. As he stares out the window of the dorm, he realizes what he’s learned (or more precisely is still learning from the rapper). Yoongi, Yoongi has taught, and is still teaching him about falling in love.

Jungkook can’t explain how he knows he’s in love. There is no tangible marker that he can point to. He can’t tell anyone the moment that Yoongi stole his heart like a burgular or a bandit. But he knows one thing for sure, which is that Min Yoongi is the sole owner of the way his heart beats.

Yes, from Yoongi he’s learning about love. He’s learning that love can be painful like an open sore that continually bleeding. He’s also learned that love can be healing, like medicine given at just the right time. But right now he’s learning that love is confusing, scary, and exciting because he feels all those emotions when he thinks about Min Yoongi.

As he sits in the quiet Jungkook can’t help but wonder if the older man will also be the one that teaches him about heartbreak.

“What’ya doing up so early?” Jin’s voice brings Jungkook out of his mind and back to the dorm

“Just thinking.”

They stay quiet for a while until Jin breaks the silence.

“About what?”

“All of you actually, and what I’ve learned from you all. You’re my family, probably even more so than my actual family, you know?” Jungkook’s not really a snuggler by nature (unless Jimin and Taehyung are around) but right now his emotions are full and Jin’s shoulder is broad enough to carry them, so he lays his head against Jin.

“Mmm, you mean things like how to blow up the kitchen and how to dance like a robot?” He smiles at Jin’s words.

“Nah, hyung those are examples of what not to do. I mean things like listening, being there for others, and honesty. Things that I was never really good at.”

“You makes us proud every day; you know that right? I think that out of all the groups out there, we have the best maknae, and not because you’re good at everything, but because you are you.”

Jungkook feels warm inside, Jin has always had that effect on him. It’s reminiscent of his younger self sitting on his mother’s lap, he felt the same satisfaction and contentment then as he feels with Jin now.

“Hyung, what exactly is love? I mean how do you, you know – how do you know if you’re in love?” He can feel the tips of his ears getting red and he’s happy that Jin can’t see it happening from this position.

“That’s hard to answer Kookie,” Jin absentmindedly swipes his fingers through Jungkook’s bangs, and Jungkook sinks deeper into Jin’s shoulder, draping his hand across the man’s abdomen and enjoying the comfort, “Love is different for everyone, and often times we mistake it for other things.”

“Things like what?”

“Like attraction, or gratefulness. We equate feelings and emotions with love. While love is a noun, people forget it’s a verb too. It’s not a thing like a table or a chair, it’s not stagnant and immovable. Love is forever growing and changing. Love can make us both happy and sad. It can build us up and break us down. But most of the time, we only see it as butterflies in our stomach or the sweaty palms we get when the object of our affection is around.” Jin words make sense. Jungkook has never thought about love on its own merits before, he’s always associated it with a sensation or a feeling.  

“So then butterflies and sweaty palms don’t necessarily mean love?” He’s unsure he phrased the question right.

“No, that’s attraction. Love, Jungkook, love is what happens when attraction ends.”

YOONGI

Yoongi has been