Sunbeams are peaking through the spaces between the rustling leaves. Baekhyun feels warm inside and out. The first flowers of spring start to bloom.

I'm sitting in the usual spot.

Baekhyun types in the empty message box and hits 'SEND'. He's been waiting for him for ten minutes already. Well, this isn't the first time for him to be running late, he reminds himself. He scrolls up and rereads his previous messages to kill time.

How was your day?

Don't forget to get your clothes outside. It'll rain tonight.

There's still a little bit of summer left. Do you want to hang out somewhere?

Don't skip your dinners.

His messages are always like this. Short but direct to the point. He often wishes the recipient of these messages would be the same. But it's impossible, he tells himself.

For some reason, I had a tiring day.

Sometimes, Baekhyun would just send a simple summary of his day. For him and Chanyeol who always appear like a walking sun or happy pill to others, thoughts like this are not taken seriously. When it comes to pouring out the bottled feelings, they have each other.

Baekhyun feels the cool wind gently brushing his hair. He looks up at the sound of the rustling leaves nearby. More flowers are falling. What a beautiful sight, he thought.

From his seat, he can see more families and groups of friends setting up their picnics beneath the trees. The park is getting noisier. Baekhyun puts back his scarf and gets up from his seat. This is no place for me, he mumbles with a dry smile on his face.

Message me if you're coming.

He types again in the empty message box before he leaves. Park Chanyeol, you liar, he murmurs to himself again.

***

When him and Chanyeol were still university students, they also used to have picnics under these trees with their friends during spring. Chanyeol always packed sandwiches and he would bring chips. Chanyeol's guitar was always never forgotten, either and they would have a mini concert in front of their friends. New and original songs were also born during these impromptu performances. Some were trash but some were still being sung by their friends back then. Baekhyun never thought he will share a special connection with someone in this lifetime.

Like the flowers that bloom every spring, their relationship also went through harsh winters in the first years. The greatest of these were the moments they stepped into each other's spheres. They are both noisy, sometimes to the point of annoying, both fond of cracking jokes, both aspiring artists, both good in games, and not to mention have competitiveness that can match Olympic players'. Similar to poles that don't attract, they repelled each other. The clashes that occurred almost ate them alive.

Two autumns passed since their first encounter, the relationship that started with rough waters finally found a safe haven. Thanks to their common friends, Jongdae, Kyungsoo and Jongin, the two eventually found out that the threat they once saw in each other were just mists of jealousy. Beyond this mist is a secret garden that apparently only the two of them can see.

Baekhyun's sail down the memory lane continues as he strides the sidewalks near Gwanghwamun.

***

It was a Thursday. Jongdae, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Jongin’s classes were already over by four in the afternoon. It was the only day when they can all go back to their apartment all together. Half way to the bus stop, they would normally talk about their boring classes, the hot classmate sitting in front of them, or their plans for the rest of the day and tomorrow. On the other half, they would race like high school boys to be able to queue in line first and get the best window seat in the bus. That day, Jongdae and Chanyeol got the first and second place. Again.

"Kyungsoo! I’ll reserve the window seat behind me!" He hears Jongdae's voice resonating in his head. It's been a year since he last heard his roommate's voice. "The bus is here!"

"Me and Jongin are going to the supermarket. We need some supplies for dinner.”

Chanyeol overtook Jongdae and sat on the window seat near the door.

“Chanyeol, aren't you coming with us?" Kyungsoo shouted.

Jongin, who was behind Kyungsoo, started pointing at Chanyeol who was now sitting comfortably like a king in the bus. "You. Park Chanyeol. You're also our roommate and eat the same stuff as us. Come down here."

Chanyeol pretended of not hearing anything and did not stir an inch which made Jongin furious. A little.

"And who suggested hot pot awhile ago, huh? Hold me down, Kyungsoo! Hold me!"

Kyungsoo just kept on staring at Jongin who appeared to be having a tantrum. Everyone was actually looking at him. They knew Jongin was just pretending though.

"No one's holding me? Kyungsoo? No?" Jongin asked his friends who were still staring.

"I'll hold you. I'll hold you. Here. This is what you like, right?" Jongdae gave in to finish the embarrassing act.

Jongin shook Jongdae's grip and looked at Kyungsoo with those puppy eyes he usually put on when he's about to ask for his friends' share in the bucket of chicken they sometimes order.

"But Chanyeol bought last night's meat for dinner, right? Why does he need to get the groceries again?" Baekhyun interrupted. And suddenly, all eyes were on him.

Chanyeol started applauding from his seat. "Wow! Yes, that's my new best buddy, Baekhyun! Come up here and sit with me. Let's go home, new best buddy slash new roommate."

"What new roommate? We don't have free space in our room!" Jongin protested.

"If you get out of our room, there will be." Chanyeol answered with a sly smile on his face. "Or you can just swap rooms with him and live with Jongdae next door instead."

Kyungsoo laughs in the background. "Good idea, Chanyeol!" His deep and awkward-sounding laugh made Baekhyun laugh as well.

Jongin snapped towards Kyungsoo and put on those puppy eyes again. "Don't say that, Kyungsoo."

Jongdae ran towards Baekhyun and hugged him out of the blue. "Why? Why? Why do you want my roommate? Don't leave me, Baekhyun! No!"

Now, Chanyeol was the one laughing. As usual, like a dying seal that will collapse anytime from his seat. Baekhyun was slowly being constricted by his roommate. Jongin was having a staring contest with Kyungsoo. It was a train wreck

Best times, Baekhyun murmurs to himself as he ends his trip down the memory lane. He finds an empty bench and takes a rest from his walk. He checks his phone for any new messages. But there is none.

The trees around him are showing off their marvelous green for spring. It reminds him of Chanyeol again.

***

“When the leaves changed color on the side of the road of Gwanghwamun...” He hears Chanyeol’s voice in his head.

He loves telling stories. Baekhyun’s favorites are those random things he say when they are on their ride home from school. The fifteen minute bus rides with him were the highlight of Baekhyun’s day. Before he met him, he never knew the world can be seen with such radiant colors. He always wished those rides were longer and that Thursdays were permanently erased on the calendar.

“Baekhyun, what’s your favorite color?” Chanyeol once asked him during one of those everyday rides.

“The color of your eyes.” He answered shyly under his breath.

“What? I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” Chanyeol leaned his head closer to him. Baekhyun smelled a bit of spring on his hair.

“Gwanghwamun!” He accidentally shouted at him to conceal his cracking voice. His heart was racing at high speeds.

Chanyeol jolted away from him. It must have hurt his eardrum. “Loud and clear. Got that,” he said. Baekhyun felt blood rushing to his face.

“What’s with Gwanghwamun? That’s not a color though.” Chanyeol added. He was now looking outside the window.

“The...the... the leaves. When it change color. That one.” The embarrassment was eating Baekhyun. He started burying his face on the thick scarf wrapped around his neck.

“This is why I like you, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol said and patted him on the shoulder. Baekhyun thought he was being sarcastic.

That was when I finally lifted my head, Baekhyun murmurs to himself as if narrating the flashbacks coming in.

He was smiling. He was glowing. All I saw that time was burning red.

“I like that color too,” Chanyeol’s voice echoes inside his head.

The wind is getting colder. Baekhyun puts his hands inside his coat’s pocket. He expects some warmth but there is none. Twilight was breaking. The street lights around Gwanghwamun start to light up. They look warm to him. I wish I can be like that too, he thought.

***

"You know, we have chemistry." Another door to memory lane opens. It's one of those random conversations he and Chanyeol had on their bus ride home.

"I don't know. We shine so bright together!"

"Really?" Baekhyun could not hide the excitement he felt. There was a beast trying to escape from prison. He barely held it in. He felt a rush of blood to his face.

"Would you like to be my partner?"

Baekhyun could not believe what he was hearing. "Pa...pa...partner?" He wanted to ask more questions but his vocabulary suddenly bailed on him. He felt another rush of blood to his ears.

"You know, we can sing on the streets. I'll play the guitar and you can do the singing! We can cover some songs or sing our own compositions. It'll be fun!"

Baekhyun felt something shattering inside him. Now he was only seeing grays.

"I have a couple of songs in my laptop. You can listen to them and maybe give me some comments? We can use them someday if you want." Chanyeol sounded excited. Baekhyun was still in trance, repeating what he just heard earlier like a broken track on a never ending loop.

Partner

"Baekhyun..."

It has a good ring on it, he thought.

"Baekhyun..."

We? Partners?

"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol shouted at him.

Kaebsong, he told himself.

"You don't like it?" There was a trace of disappointment in Chanyeol's voice. Something was breaking inside Baekhyun again. The grays are now getting darker.

"No, Chanyeol! It's fine! It's a very good idea!" He tried to revive the warm atmosphere awhile ago. "Partners," he adds shyly under his breath.

Chanyeol suddenly giggled and looked outside the window. "There you go again."

"What?"

"Did I ever tell you what my favorite color is?"

Baekhyun looked puzzled. Did I miss one of the conversations we had?, he questioned himself again. Nothing rung a bell to him.

"I guess not."

"I'm sorry, Chanyeol. I probably dozed off somewhere in the middle of..."

"It's you."

"Since when did I become a color?"

"When you get embarrassed. Your whole face and.." He suddenly touched one of his ear. "...this becomes red. Burning red."

Chanyeol was glowing again in front of him. How can the sun be this close to me?, Baekhyun wondered.

***

Fewer people are now on the sidewalks near Gwanghwamun. There are also lesser cars passing by. Baekhyun slips his hand in the pocket on his jeans and grabs his phone to check the time.

"Wow, it's already this late!"

I guess he's too tired to hang out today, he tells himself. He felt cold inside and out.

He goes to his phone's inbox again and clicked the only conversation saved. The first thing he sees is one of Chanyeol's messages to him from summer two years ago.

We used to shine so bright together.

It was when Chanyeol decided to disband their duo. He continues to scroll up.

But now we are strangers

It seems like we're now strangers

It was when they were busy with their senior lives that they barely had time to talk to each other--- him doing part time jobs here and there to make ends meet and Chanyeol on an internship in a famous record label in town.

Baekhyun is cringing deep inside. He feels so small. If only I can turn back time, he tells himself.

He closes the conversation thread and checks the time again. He needs to go home soon.

Baekhyun stands up, keeps his now shivering hands in his coat's pockets and starts walking towards his apartment.

***

After the fifteen minute walk from Gwanghwamun, Baekhyun finally reaches his destination. His hands are still freezing from the cold. He can't feel his toes. I hope it's warm inside, he thought.

He swiftly looks for his keys in his jeans. Apparently, it is buried with his phone somewhere in his right pocket. He takes both of them out and quickly inserts the keys on the keyhole. He is about to turn the knob when he sees something odd on his phone's screen. There is a notification. Someone sent him a message.

He clicks the green balloon and sees a familiar name. A very familiar name. A name he will probably never forget in this or the next lifetime.

In your arms, the world was mine.

Baekhyun is still standing outside his door but a warm sensation starts to creep into him. Something ignited inside him. A flame starts to spread all over his system. He is burning. He is burning but he likes it.

He turns the knob and enters his room. The heater is still off but it feels like summer inside. There is nothing but his futon and blanket in the small room but he doesn't feel empty at the moment. He sits in a corner and hugs himself to sleep. He never felt this kind of happiness in a while. I will be having a good dream, he tells himself. And indeed he had.

***

It was the summer of their junior year and everyone was busy. Probably the busiest they've been so far in their college life. Kyungsoo was an expert on flipping patties in his part time job. Jongin enrolled in a dance class. Jongdae was happily serving customers in a coffee shop as a barista and occasionally sang to the ladies who dropped by. Him and Chanyeol were in his and Jongdae's room composing, editing and recording songs day and night. They barely saw daylight during those hot summer days but Baekhyun did not care. His sun was just right in front of him anyway. A sun that smells like summer sweat, potato chips and roses.

"So far, we have finished five songs. Thank you, Baekhyun."

There he goes again, Baekhyun told himself. His sun was glowing once more, more radiant than the usual and it was slowly hurting his eyes.

"Baekhyun? Are you okay?"

Without realizing it, he started rubbing his eyes. "It's okay, Chanyeol. Something... something just entered my eyes."

Chanyeol hurriedly drags Baekhyun closer towards him, "Come, let me help you." And started blowing gently on his right eye, then the left one. "Don't rub your eyes next time. It'll get worse."

Chanyeol's face was now less than an inch away from him. No, this is worse, Baekhyun told himself.

"Are you feeling better?" Chanyeol asked him. His voice was deep as usual but it was soft, like the first raindrops titter tattering on the roof before a heavy rain pours.

Chanyeol suddenly put his right hand on his forehead. Baekhyun was caught off guard and instinctively shrugged his hand off.

"For a moment, I thought you were sick." Chanyeol said and smiled.

Why are you smiling like that?! I will punch you in the face!, Baekhyun was shouting to himself.

"There you go again," Chanyeol remarked and smiled again.

What?! Baekhyun's internal screams were getting louder. But another thing was getting all the stress from all these. Something else was screaming louder, was racing faster, and was ready to burst out any moment.

Chanyeol tugged Baekhyun closer to him. The next thing that happened numbed his brain. Nothing was registering to him except the sound of fast titter tattering of a heavy rain inside him, the strong smell of summer sweat, potato chips and roses burning his nose, and soft lips against his. Then, everything went by rapidly, like the sceneries you barely see inside a fast car in a highway.

Chanyeol's grip was getting tighter and tighter. Baekhyun felt a warm touch underneath his shirt, gradually going up his spine. There was a tickling feeling running through his veins. His hands started to run on Chanyeol's soft hair. His knees felt weak and later on, finally gave in.

The cold floor against his back revived his senses. An unexplainable warmth bursted out from within him. Chanyeol's lips were now tracing the outline of his neck. His fingers instinctively chased his partner's broad back. At first, Baekhyun was out of place, out of time, out on everything but as the moments slowly passed, everything just landed on the right places.

He thought this momentary fireworks show would end with just Chanyeol's lips against his, but he was wrong. He was cradled into his embrace for the rest of the afternoon.

Baekhyun woke up with Chanyeol's shirt covering his bare skin. He saw him sitting near the door frame to the veranda, looking outside, deep in thought. It was getting dark outside. Autumn's breeze started to take over the remaining summer days' nights.

"Aren't you cold?" Baekhyun broke the silence and offered back his shirt.

Chanyeol looked at his direction and replied with a soft smile on his face. His uncombed hair caught Baekhyun's attention. Did I do that? Oh no, Chanyeol's hair, he started reprimanding himself.

"What are you looking at? Come closer."

He finally spoke, Baekhyun thought. He felt relieved somehow. He crawled towards his side and placed the shirt on top of his head. Chanyeol broke into a laugh and wore it. The darkness was slowly eating them as the sun gradually resigned on the horizon but the afternoon inside the room was yet to end. My sun is still glowing, he told himself.

He started fixing his partner's uncombed hair. "You're a beautiful mess." was all he can utter among all the streams of lines running in his head. Chanyeol's laugh and his fast heartbeat were all he can hear at that moment.

***

Baekhyun wakes up with the soft daylight on his face. The heater in his room is now working but the warmth that hugged him to sleep last night has left him bare again in that cold spring morning. He checks his phone for the time. 9:10, it read.

He is about to get up from his cold futon when he notices another green balloon on the screen. He excitedly presses it and sees his name on it. Chanyeol, he reads out loud with a smile drawn all over his face.

‘Goodbye’ will be included in my next album. The producer was ecstatic after he heard our demo. He instantly gave an OK for a studio recording. Isn't this great, Baekhyun?

His fingers cannot move. He wishes he can give him a call and say ‘Congratulations!’ personally, but he can't summon the courage to do so. In that chilly but comfortable spring morning, the rain is pouring hard inside the room. Baekhyun clenches is aching chest.

His phone rings out of the blue and plays the song he and Chanyeol composed that night, after they cradled themselves into the arms of the other for the first time. The song starts with the last chorus.

This ain't an illusion, love

This ain't a midsummer night's dream

Goodbye to those cold nights

Goodbye to those childish days

Goodbye

Chanyeol's name and picture is flashing brightly on his phone’s screen. Baekhyun's fingers are shivering and fighting the temptation to pick up the phone. His heart is screaming, Yes! Go and pick up that call!, but his mind is calmly telling him, Don't forget what he is and what you are right now. No. Don't, Baekhyun.

The playing ringtone is now on the last seconds of the song.

I don't know if living in this world

Is just about always looking for another person

But here we are, love

Goodbye, you and I

Hello, our days

The song ends with Baekhyun's piano and Chanyeol's guitar duet fading in the background. This was the best composition for them, the most treasured one, but he never thought it would crumble him to pieces someday, like today.

***

The streets to Gwanghwamun are quite wide than the usual. There are also less people on the side walk. Well, at least I can have my usual spot, he tells himself. Baekhyun is extra optimistic today. With Chanyeol's message and missed call earlier that morning, he feels like he is back on his own feet again after a while.

An upbeat song is blaring from a truck slowly parading the street. The familiar words gets Baekhyun's attention.

As I came to this street, filled with the aroma of coffee

That was when I finally smiled

It was the first time that someone made me that nervous

You were the only one

You were more lovable than anyone else

It is Chanyeol's voice. His album is already out. In a couple of months, their beloved composition will also be heard by a lot of people, will be played like this in the streets, over the radio and on TV. Indeed, this is amazing, Chanyeol, he thought.

Baekhyun is a hundred percent sure the song that is being played loudly is one of their compositions. He was the one who personally penned the lyrics. In the demo they made, the song was a ballad, unlike the one he is hearing. The music is completely different but the words and the feelings in it are unchanged. Hiding in that new upbeat tune is still the sadness and longing soaked into the words. Baekhyun recites the remaining lines in the song.

But why did you leave me?

At that place, I get to know

How I'm slowly changing every day

In the far days ahead, just smile for me

His phone suddenly vibrates in his jacket's pocket. He immediately checks it and sees Chanyeol's name screaming on the screen.

I'm sitting on the usual spot

Baekhyun's heart is racing at the speed of light. His hands are flustered in disbelief. He puts back his phone in his pocket and runs towards the park near Gwanghwamun. Their usual place. In the usual spot. This is a day he never imagined would come.

After the frantic running, he stops at the park's entrance. Even with the distance between them, he can see him, sitting on that bench, in between those trees, where they used to have picnics. He catches his breath and slowly walks towards his direction.

A cold breeze brushes Baekhyun's cold skin. Unlike yesterday, the park is almost empty. There is only Chanyeol sitting on that bench. But like yesterday and the usual spring days, the wind is chilly but comfortable, the trees are standing tall with their blossoms slowly dancing towards the ground. Baekhyun's heart is also ready to fall anytime on the dirty ground. He never became this nervous in a while. He is now a few strides away from him. He sees Chanyeol's soft hair being blown by the gentle wind. You beautiful mess, Baekhyun murmurs to himself.

Five steps away. His hands are shivering.

Four steps. He thinks of words he will say. His vocabulary fails him again.

Three steps. He hides his shivering hands in his jacket's pocket.

Two steps. He takes one deep breath.

One step. He takes the empty spot next to Chanyeol and looks at him.

I'm here, Baekhyun softly tells his beloved.

Chanyeol is deep in thought looking at the clear blue skies above him. Seconds after, he finally speaks, "It won't rain today, right, Baekhyun?"

"No, it won't," he responds to him.

Chanyeol grabs his phone from his pocket and plays a song. No, we did not compose this, he tells himself. Chanyeol starts to sing along.

I'm happy

Because today, this place is just as beautiful as back then

For no reason, like a fool, I'm standing at this spot

Getting wet in the rain

Waiting for you, who won't come

I was happy

I look back once again at this road in Gwanghwamun

In case you are standing there

As the short song finishes with a sweet piano and guitar duet, Chanyeol grabs a white flower from his coat. Baekhyun can see a single tear streaming down his face. He wants to caress his face and wipe that tear away but he can't. Instead, he hugs him from the side and hums their special song, their masterpiece, from that one blazing summer afternoon, softly in his right ear.

Chanyeol clears his throat and starts talking as if someone is there with him, "I made this song for you, Baekhyun. I hope you like it."

Baekhyun releases his beloved from his embrace and takes his seat again next to him. He touches Chanyeol's hands and said, "Yes. I really like it, Chanyeol. Very much."

Chanyeol gently places the white rose he had to the empty space next to him, to where Baekhyun is seated right now, to where Baekhyun usually sits when they come here.

"I miss you, Baekhyun."

"I miss you too, Chanyeol."

A Song For You: At Gwanghwamun (광화문에서) by Cho Kyuhyun

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

* The lines that are both in bold and italicized are the

translated actual stanzas from Cho Kyuhyun’s song, At Gwanghwamun (광화문에서).

** Credits to kpoplyrics for the English translation of the song.

*** "What happened to Baekhyun???!"

Park Chanyeol killed Byun Baekhyun with his scumbag driving skills

As a writer, I know I am responsible in narrating the events

and the context in each sceneario I open. But, for this one,

I give half of that power to you, dear reader.  On a literal sense, yes,

Byun Baekhyun died in this story. But try looking at it out of the box.

Imagine. In every relationship that ends, for a moment, 

one of the two will end up dead, like Baekhyun in this story. 

You are breathing and doing your usual stuff everyday,

but that is just routine. You are thinking of your

special someone 24/7, but that is just you on your one-sided trip maybe?.

You try to pick up his/her call or reply to the messages, but 

you can't or you don't. You are physically there,

walking down the streets or on your way home after school/work, 

other people see you, yes,  but he/she cannot.

I don't know if you agree, dear reader, but that's how I see this.

You are living and not living at the same time.

How about you? What do you think?

Should I write a prequel or not?

Prequel under construction. Please look forward to it!