Warning: Unedited, raw chapter. Please excuse the obvious spelling, grammar, changes between tenses, and/or other mistakes. I am far too lazy to edit at the moment - or ever. Sorry! Okay, you can read now. Enjoy~ :3

Chapter 3: Blind

Namjoon woke up in the middle of the day on Jimin’s couch the next day with the biggest headache he'd experienced in the 18 years of his life. He was covered with a light pink blanket which he doesn't recall being there the night before when he was sitting and chatting with Jin-

"OH MY GOD!" his eyes enlarged at the sight of Yoongi, snoring on the couch across from his.

Yoongi saw! He saw everything and Namjoon was going to hear about it for the rest of his existence.

Namjoon quickly got up, grabbed his stuff and sprints out of Jimin's house. There were two people he absolutely had to avoid: Jin and Yoongi.

However, avoiding Yoongi became virtually impossible as Namjoon realized the fact that the two friends were not only classmates but desk mates as well.

" it!"

Namjoon sat down at his desk and began regretting his entire life as soon as he saw his best friend walk into class, lazily.

Yoongi's sleepy eyes lit up as soon as he spotted Namjoon. "Yo, man!" He raised his hand. "Long time no see."

'Long time? It's only been a day!'

"So, what happened to you at Jimin's house the other day?" Yoongi asked the dreaded question and Namjoon's heart sank.

"Nothing!" He replied defensively.

Yoongi was smirking like no tomorrow and Namjoon knew he was not buying his crap. "Sure, sure, of course."

"I will cut off your balls if anyone hears about what happened!” Namjoon hissed at his jerk of a friend who only laughed at the ‘threat’.

"So something did happen?" He teased, and before Namjoon could sock his friend square in the face, their homeroom teacher walked into the classroom.

"I'll deal with you later," he warned Yoongi.

A day passed and then a week and Namjoon was going out of his mind because every day Yoongi wore that annoying smirk on his face and Taehyung mentioned Hoseok or Jimin or even Jin during their conversations at lunch. Namjoon couldn’t escape the thought of Jin no matter how hard he tried.

"Jungkook, did you hear?" Taehyung excitedly took a seat at their lunch table. Namjoon's eyes shot up from his game to Taehyung's dumb smile. "Oh my god, Jungkook you won't believe it!"

Jungkook looked unimpressed. "What?"

"Yoongi hyung said that Jin hyung and -" the words barely escaped Taehyung's mouth before he was interrupted by the loud bang, caused Namjoon's fist slamming onto the table.

Namjoon glared at Yoongi hard and silence fell upon the table. Yoongi looked confused, his eyebrows furrowed together and nose scrunched up. "What the hell, man?"

"What's wrong, hyung?" Taehyung hesitantly asks, biting his lower lip.

"N-nothing!"

"Anyways..." Taehyung turns to Jungkook. "Yoongi hyung told me that Jin hyung is going on a blind date this weekend."

WHAT!?

Every day was ty and Namjoon blamed the bright and sunny weather. He knew it didn’t make sense − nothing made sense anymore and he hated the loss of control over his own mind and heart. But what could he do when his own heart wouldn’t listen to his heart? It was frustrating and confusing and Namjoon wanted it all to end. He was so done with being emotionally played like this. Because of Jin, he hadn’t been able to sleep one night without the thought of him. It drove him insane because he actually craved Jin as each day went by and he knows it made no sense because they were both guys. This wasn’t natural, Namjoon told himself as he shook his head.

Walking right into his best friend’s back, Namjoon realized that he had no idea about what was going on around him. When did he come outside? And since how was it already night time? What happened to the scorching sun and the noisy birds? It was then that he realized he was dressed in his street clothes, aimlessly following his friends. “Where are we?” he asked Yoongi, utterly dazed.

“Were you not paying attention? We’re going to Hoseok’s house.” Jungkook answered in Yoongi’s stead and Namjoon froze in his tracks.

“W-why?”

“He’s throwing a surprise party for Jin’s birthday and we’re going to help him, of course!” Taehyung intervened, sounding way too cheerful.

Despite Namjoon’s mental protests, his feet keep moving. And of course, if he were to try to avoid Jin, Yoongi would only find more ways to torture him. But how was he to face Jin after what happened that day?

Of course, Namjoon could always pretend that he was way too drunk to remember anything but he was a horrible liar and it would show all too clearly by the way he would be totally flustered just by looking at Jin. Maybe, Namjoon thought, just maybe, if he avoids Jin as much as possible, that he wouldn’t have to worry about any confrontations.

And so, while everyone was waiting eagerly in Hoseok’s living room for Jin’s return, Namjoon quietly sneaked away to the washroom. He wanted to be invisible and it was literally impossible unless he hid away. It was cowardly, he had to admit. But, he didn’t have the confidence to admit that maybe, just maybe, he felt something towards Jin. And who was to say that even if Namjoon found the guts to admit his feelings, that Jin would accept him. Like, what if Jin didn’t like guys? That would just be downright embarrassing and Namjoon would rather die than be rejected and make things forever awkward.

After Namjoon heard his noisy friends cheering “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIN HYUNG!” from a distance, he decided that if he went back in 10 minutes or so, he would easily be able to blend in with everyone else and just try to become one with the couch silently in a corner. That sounded like a brilliant plan until 2 minutes later, when he heard a loud knock on the door.

“!”

“Is anyone in there?” he heard an all too familiar voice. “I need to piss! Hurry!”

Gosh darn it, Yoongi! Namjoon bit down his tongue in order to avoid swearing at his friend with the worst timing in the entire world.

As he was so rudely kicked out of his safe haven, the washroom, Namjoon had no choice but to sit his down somewhere else. He recalled his plan to camouflage but it all failed once he stepped into the living room, only to witness Jin in the arms of a man Namjoon didn’t recall ever seeing before.

Suddenly, he felt his body heat up instantly. What is this feeling? Namjoon knew all too well exactly what this was because as soon as he saw the man’s hand move from around Jin’s shoulders to holding his hand on his thigh, Namjoon had the sudden urge to beat the out of that man. They seemed too close and too intimate and it bothered him so much.

Then it all dawned on him when he remembered what Taehyung had told Jungkook two weeks ago during their lunch break:

"Yoongi hyung told me that Jin hyung is going on a blind date this weekend."

Without a second thought, Namjoon walked into the living room and sat right across from Jin and his boyfriend.

Jin warily looked up to awkwardly match eyes with Namjoon who looked like a grumpy troll with his eyes piercing through everyone and everything. Jin avoided any eye contact after that, and Namjoon was too busy loathing the man next to Jin to even notice.

Taehyung attempted to cut the obvious tension with his jokes but it didn’t work. Namjoon was continuously eyeing the man, causing the man to uncomfortably shift in his seat on the couch.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi returned from the washroom and took a seat next to his best friend, “this is Hyosang, Jin’s –”

“Not interested!” Namjoon interrupted, catching everyone’s attention.

Yoongi gave his friend an annoyed look before shaking his head.

Namjoon knew he was being an but who cared? It wasn’t like he needed to look good in front of Jin or anything, because he already had that guy. And again, the thought of the man kissing those lips and having those smiles to himself just hurt Namjoon – so damn much!

The party’s mood brightened up once again when Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung began with their silly jokes and girl group dances, none of which interested Namjoon. He was more intrigued by the way Jin laughed with his huge puppy dog eyes disappearing into lines. And then his eyes moved to Jin’s left and Namjoon’s expression turned sour as his eyes landed on Hyosang, leaning into Jin’s arm.

It reminded him of that night when he sat next to Jin with barely any distance in between and how great his body felt against Jin, warm and comfortable. And he remembered those lips, realizing that now he would never be able feel them again because Namjoon was a coward. One step too late, as always.

No − not just one but several steps. He couldn’t realize his feelings, and when he did, he wouldn’t acknowledge them as legitimate. And when he finally found the courage to admit his feelings, it was too late. This was all his fault and he couldn’t really blame Jin for having someone who wasn’t a runaway like him; for finding someone who wasn’t ashamed to love him as a man.

That night, when Namjoon was walking home, he looked up at the sky and noticed how many stars were in the sky, looking down on him and his pathetic existence. But he also noticed how different each star looked, yet shined just as brightly as the others. Their differences didn’t determine their ability to shine, and maybe that was the same for him. Maybe being different didn’t mean that Namjoon was less of a man than anyone else. So what if he liked Jin, a guy, and not a girl? He felt just as manly as he had before or maybe even more now that he was able to admit this to himself.

But then he looked at reality and was reminded that it was too late. It didn’t matter if he finally admitted his feelings because Jin had someone already, someone better. Namjoon let out a heavy sigh and tried to hold back the tiny droplets of water, forming at the corners of his eyes. His chest felt heavy and it felt awful – this was such an awful and pathetic feeling, as if having something very important stolen right in front of your eyes because you were too dense and stupid to realize how precious that thing, that person was.

It was all over now, though. Namjoon wouldn’t have a reason to see or talk to Jin again.

The next morning, his ring tone woke him up from his ambiguous dream. But as always, he was a little too late and the call had already become a “missed call”. He looked at the number and realized it was from none other than Yoongi himself. But what the heck was he doing awake at 5 am on a Saturday morning?