Chapter 2: Kontrol

It isn't that Namjoon hates Taehyung but sometimes he really wants to strangle his friend who has ruined his life and made him confused beyond belief.

Only a few days ago, Namjoon lived a blissful life, never having to question his existence and uality every time he was reminded of Jin.

But he would tell himself that he is only confused because he saw Jin as a girl and he fell for that. And he admitted his crush was shallow, based off looks and nothing else so it was probably something he could get over with someone better looking. It wasn't as if he was actually in love or anything.

That was the case until Taehyung suggested they go to Jimin's party and Namjoon felt a bit excited when Hoseok’s name was mentioned because that meant Jin would come too!

He told himself over and over again that he was being an idiot, swayed by confused emotions that weren't even real. After all, he fell for Jin, who he thought was a girl - not a guy. But his heart told him otherwise as it still craved to see Jin again, despite being aware of the fact that he's a boy just like Namjoon.

So when Namjoon arrived at the party and did not spot Jin anywhere in sight, his heart dropped to his stomach in disappointment.

"What’s wrong?" Yoongi nudged his gloomy friend who was obviously bummed but wouldn't admit it.

"Nothing. This party !" he slumped on the couch.

Jimin overheard and came over to the two males on the couch. "Not having fun, I see."

Yoongi didn't even look at Jimin while Namjoon just rolled his eyes.

"Well, how about we go to my room and I'll show you something you'll like" Jimin said in a teasing manner. Namjoon was not interested, as always as he pulled out his phone and began playing on it. He looked up from his phone when he felt the couch shifting and saw Yoongi getting up and leaving with Jimin. He raised his eyebrow slightly. What did Jimin have to offer that made the laziest on earth actually get up from the comfortable couch? Whatever, Namjoon didn't really care anyway. His mind was occupied by other annoying thoughts and he needed to rid himself of all the problems his mind had created.

The game he was playing wasn't really helping but he had no other choice. He got up and advanced to the kitchen to grab a drink. Maybe drowning in alcohol would be more helpful than anything.

As Namjoon opened the door to the kitchen, his heart did a backflip in shock. There it was, the interest of his unsure affection, standing in front of the stove with a floral apron which made him glow. He was... stunning! Namjoon gaped as he silently watched the male in front of him, stirring something in the pot on the stove so diligently. And he didn't think that he would fall for Jin twice in the same week but he did - helplessly.

"Do you need anything?" Jin looked up from his cooking when he noticed a pair of eyes intently on him.

Namjoon snapped out of his daze but his heart was not willing to settle and the butterflies in the stomach kicked in as soon as he heard that delicate, precious, beautiful voice.

"..." he whispered in realization.

Jin narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Excuse me?"

“N-nothing!” Namjoon was flustered and he felt his face heat up. He couldn’t stand this – this feeling, this awful feeling on having a hopeless crush that he is unable to understand. But his chest throbs when Jin smiles at him. His lips… his luscious lips oh lord, Namjoon’s a goner!

“Are you looking for something or… someone?” Jin asked, returning to his cooking.

Namjoon shook his head slowly. “No…” his voice got stuck in his throat.

Jin simply smiled.

“Could you lend me a hand? I’m a bit behind schedule and Hoseok is useless.” Jin asked as Namjoon just stood there awkwardly, feeling all types of emotions he felt he shouldn’t.

“Um…” Jin looked at the male who was just standing there at the entrance of the door, looking at him with a red face. “Are you feeling okay?”

“No!” Namjoon suddenly snapped out of his thought and Jin looked taken aback. 

He didn't intend for it to come out so harsh and Namjoon regretted everything at that moment. He wanted to just disappear because why did such an idiot even exist? He was so sure that Jin as a boy was just another boy, just with an exceptionally beautiful, feminine face. Namjoon resorted to walk over to the sink and pour himself some water because damn was he thirsty. He noticed Jin's eyes questionably trailing him for a few seconds before they returned back to whatever he was cooking.

The kitchen was completely sullen, and Namjoon could shrivel up and die from the awkwardness he has created. What an awful way to present yourself to your crush - wait, no. Namjoon isn't crushing on Jin. Of course not, he's just... Fascinated - by his delicate facial features coupled with shoulders so wide a plane could land on it. Namjoon has himself giggling at the thought and doesn't realize that he's still in the kitchen with the person that's been running around in his mind for the past week.

Jin looks up from his cooking once again to see what Namjoon finds so funny and his eyes meet the other who had been sneakily stealing glimpses of the other.

But Namjoon can't tear his gaze away because no matter how embarrassed he is, no matter how hard he's blushing or how fast his heart is beating, he still can't get over the mere fact that Jin is beautiful and precious and the epitome of perfection. He wants to say something - anything to have a conversation with the other because they don't necessarily have to be lovers. Namjoon was okay with being friends... After all, they were both boys and that was the only logical solution Namjoon could come up with.

Just as Namjoon opened his mouth, Jin's round doe eyes enlarged in surprise when the two hear a bang and another scream coming from outside. "Oh my god!" he quickly turns off the stove and runs out. Namjoon snaps out of his daze and follows after, silently cursing whatever it was that interrupted his to-be conversation which he had finally gathered the courage for after a whole week of torment.

When he got to the living room, he saw Taehyung seated on the couch with Hoseok and Jin looking around for any damage.