As I saw him approaching, it was getting increasingly difficult to breathe. I tried to control myself from hyperventilating and turned around to beg the elevator, again, to take me away. I could feel how I was slowly losing control of my consciousness, how it was slipping away and clinging to it became challenging.  All I wanted was to be somewhere I could sort out all of my thoughts without anyone looking at me. By the time the doors opened, he was already wordlessly standing beside me.

Step one. Get into the elevator. I knew my body was moving by itself, but I was barely aware of my surroundings. As the sounds started to blend in, so did the background noise with his voice. Step two. What is step two? I gripped the handrail tightly and felt my back hit the wall. I was thankful to it for stopping my fall. I couldn’t look at Jongin, so I glanced up and, to my horror, the elevator’s ceiling was a mirror. Seeing my own panic-stricken expression, I realized I must’ve looked pale enough to get anybody worried. As he hit the emergency button, trapping me in there, he confirmed my last coherent thought.

My legs were shaking like leaves and the pain in my chest was sharp and throbbing. I knew I was going to fall for good this time, but before that could happen his strong hands gripped my waist and slowly guided me into a sitting position. He placed one hand on my chest and the other on my stomach.

“Young-ah, do you remember the breathing exercises we used to practice before dancing?”

Despite the ringing in my ears, I was surprised at the fact that his voice reached me again, the same as just moments ago, in the hallway. I nodded slowly, feeling pain in my neck from the stiffened muscles. Perhaps the scariest part of a panic attack is the intense ache that runs through your whole body.

“Then please try to do that now, okay? I’ll count for you, so please try to take deep, long breaths.”

I knew that was what I had to do, but it felt impossible before. Yet now his presence brought a reassuring atmosphere and hearing him steadily count out loud made me follow his lead, just like when we used to dance together. His hands were firm on my body as he kept track of my breaths, making sure my chest stood still each time I inhaled.

It seemed to take forever, but in the end the adrenaline rush was completely exhausted. I could still feel his worried eyes on me, so I finally looked at him. He smiled and cupped my cheek gently.

“I don’t know what I expected for the day we finally met again, but I definitely didn’t think I’d give you a panic attack,” he chuckled softly, a grin slowly taking over his expression.

My first instinct was to throw my arms around him and never let him go again, but I was emotionally and physically drained. All I could do was put my hand on top of his and, for the first time since he stopped being a part of my life, I enjoyed being so close to someone. He helped me get up and, to my surprise, I wasn’t as dizzy and weak as I had expected. I narrowed my eyes just slightly and whispered, teasing him, “You know not everything revolves around you.”

“May be, but at least I never ignore the struggle of a damsel in distress,” he retorted playfully, that grin still stuck on his face. It was both irritating and lovely at the same time.

I hit his arm frowning. “I’m not a damsel and I’m not in distress. .”

That made him laugh and I smiled without realizing. It felt like no time passed, like we just saw each other yesterday. He started the elevator again, before changing the subject. “We have a lot of catching up to do. How come you’re here, in LA?”

“College.”

“What are you studying?”

“Take a guess.”

“Rocket science,” he chuckled.

“That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I found myself grinning. “So you became a businessman?”

“CEO. The family business was passed down unto me. What an honor.” The sarcasm was blatant.

The doors opened too soon for the both of us. Up until now the elevator became the safe place isolating us from the rest of the world, making me forget there was a whole different life waiting to draw us out and separate us again. Was it temporary this time? I was the one to take the first step away from him, but I heard his voice again, ringing in my ears: “See you around.”

*

“Did you hear the rumors?”

“What rumors?” The other woman asked, lighting her cigarette. It was always soothing to take a break from all the paperwork and kick off your heels when no superiors were watching. Spending too much time trapped behind a desk would make anyone feel the need to unwind. Entertainment was needed, in any of its forms. And right now simple-minded gossip was available, roaring throughout the company.

“About the boss and his wife...”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t heard! Everyone knows!”

Exposing the private lives of others had never been more exciting than during the moments you’re alone with your best friend, knowing you can say any dirty detail and make any rude, envious comment without being judged.

“Tell me already! Stop being such a child.”

“They’re getting a divorce. They’re in the middle of it. Why do you think they’re trying to replace her? They took a lot of job interviews this week. I wonder if he got a prenup. Otherwise he’s kind of screwed, don’t you think?”

“Definitely. That would take all of his money and skip town.”

“Do you think she’s really pregnant with him? Who the hell gets a divorce while you’re having a baby, right? Maybe she cheated and got knocked up.”