Luhan groaned inwardly after feeling nothing at his side. He was cold and tired, yet he was awake. The no-presence of his fiancé had him dragging out of sleep, feet already padding to the living room. With the exception of outside, there were no lights visible so Luhan struggled his way towards the balcony door, where he assumed Sehun was.

It was 3:25, the clocked read as Luhan passed the kitchen and strolled his way to his missing half. Too early for Luhan’s taste, he deemed. 

Sure enough Sehun was there leaning against the metal railing, sweatpants hung low on his hipbones and shirtless. Luhan frowned in distaste, imagining the amounts of goose bumps already formed. Being cold was not to his liking. Though being shirtless was not his main concern after spotting the white stick in between Sehun’s fingers. 

As glorious as Sehun looked, the cigarette sporting his hand did not amaze Luhan at all. It was a common sight to see; a cigarette, and Sehun. Even though Luhan had told him to quit multiple times in the past, Sehun had not heeded to his advice, which in result aggravated Luhan. He stopped reminding him awhile back, already used to the sight. 

After few seconds of contemplation, Luhan decided to leave the door slightly ajar, just wide enough to fit his small frame. A mischievous smile plastered his face as he tip toed his way behind Sehun.

“Sehun!” Luhan shouted as he wrapped his arms around Sehun’s thin waist. He smiled pressing his face into Sehun’s back. His fiancé was a mess of incoherent words and freaked eyes, hands shaking from the sudden intrusion.

“God, Luhan.” Sehun replied, hands to his chest like he was having a heart attack. Luhan rolled his eyes. Sehun was obviously exaggerating.

“You get scared so easily.” Luhan teethed his lips with satisfaction, loving to surprise Sehun at any chance he got. Sehun shrugged off his teasing, not happy with Luhan’s early morning attempt.

It took a few minutes, but the two finally calmed into a state of comfort. Sehun turned the other way facing his fiancé. Luhan adoringly grinned at him, holding him tight as they let the sounds of nightly traffic and gossiping ahjummas consume them. 

Sehun huffed a cloud of smoke to the side, avoiding Luhan who he knew would be angry if he started to smell like the grey fog puffing out of his lips. At least he was considerate with smoking.

“What’s got you so deep in thought?” Luhan began.

Sehun didn’t reply for a moment, already staring off into space. This annoyed Luhan, who knew the younger was acting like this for a reason. This past month Sehun had been acting strange, it didn‘t go amiss with Luhan and he was persistent to find out.

“Sehun, aren’t you going to answer me?” He restated.

In return, Sehun grunted.

Luhan frowned.

A sigh escaped from the younger’s mouth. “Lu, I‘ve got to tell you something,“ Sehun’s voice trembled, “but it’s not going to be very…” he bit his lips, “appealing for you.”

Luhan, with scrunched eyebrows, looked up at his fiancé, confusion evident on his face. The sudden info has him bubbling in fear. What could possibly have Sehun worrying?

Sehun then dipped the shortened cigarette into a silver ash tray, grabbing both of Luhan’s hand, and trailing back inside. Luhan followed reluctantly, anxious with the oncoming news. 

Where it was cold outside, the two were replaced with heat as they sat on the leather couch. Like earlier, there were still no visible lights. Only the moon’s illumination displayed across the living room, though it was barely there.

Luhan’s breath began to shorten, the look that Sehun gave him scaring the life out of his mind. Sehun hadn’t even said anything, yet the gaze of regret and forgiveness already took place in his crystal-glazed eyes.

“What’s going on?” Luhan Sehun’s arm, feeling the veins that popped out. It was a comforting gesture to Sehun, one that told him he was there for him.

Sehun relaxed a bit at the thought of Luhan’s reassurance and trust. 

“Something important came up.” Sehun started. He wanted to speak more, this evident from his hesitance, but the thought of Luhan’s reaction began to worry him.

Luhan, on the other hand, was patient. He wanted Sehun to take all the time he needed, for the news could range from being nothing to heartbreaking.

“It’s okay, Sehun. Go on.” Luhan reassured, the sight of Sehun breaking already crumbling his heart.

Sehun sighed but continued. “I got a phone call last month. It was from Krystal.”

Krystal? The name was familiar on his tongue, but Luhan couldn’t put a face to it. He puzzling glanced at Sehun, who nodded his head as if to confirm of Luhan’s confusion. 

“Remember before I met you, I was often…” Sehun darted his eyes elsewhere, shame pressing his cheeks to remind him of his past, “sleeping with others?”

Luhan nodded. He remembered quite well actually. Even once, they were on the edge of breaking up because Sehun couldn’t control his urges. The reminisce of their pass was a difficult topic to be reminded of.

“Krystal was one of them… she was a computer science major like me.” Sehun verified. Luhan made an “o” face because he sort of had a picture to the face. A girl with straight black hair, long toned legs, and a beautiful face. 

Luhan bit his lip, not liking where the conversation was leading to. It couldn’t possibly be something good, considering how Sehun got a phone call from this Krystal girl just a month ago.

It kind of irked Luhan that Sehun had kept it from him, but Sehun’s pained expression was a good enough excuse to not argue about it.

Sehun held onto Luhan’s hands tighter, as if scared the elder would suddenly leave. But Luhan was sure he wouldn’t do that.

“I was with her a lot. Being in the same department and having the same aspirations made me see her more often than anybody else. I took a liking to her immediately.” Luhan’s expression was contorted to annoyance. Bringing up his fiancé’s ex-lover was not an ideal he wanted. Sehun knew that, but he had to give the basics first.

“Then I met you, and I stopped seeing her. Everything changed from then on and I thought I had changed too. The playboy that slept around a lot, it wasn‘t me anymore. I buried those memories deep into my mind, shameful for having such a disgusting personality. I thought they wouldn’t reappear again and they hadn’t, at least up until now.”

Luhan was glancing elsewhere now. His mind didn’t want to focus on the sudden information that had sprouted on him. All possible scenarios played out in his mind, all also ending in bad terms. Luhan didn’t want this conversation to continue any longer, but he was already far into it. 

“What are you trying to say, Sehun?” He said with a wavering voice.

Luhan already knew where this would end. There was no point in asking. It would explain the strange demeanor Sehun had these past weeks. He was often quiet and wasn’t as cheerful as usual. He knew what Sehun was going to say, but he wanted to confirm his suspicions. Maybe- just maybe a little- there was small hope.

If only Luhan wasn’t so ignorant.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Sehun muffled. 

He was already crumbling to pieces. There was no point now.

“The call from Krystal last month…”

That small hope in Luhan ignited. Please, Luhan begged, please let me be wrong.

“She told me something very important and we’ve been meeting…”

He knew, yet he wanted to hear. It can’t possibly be real… it’s all just a dream. They were supposed to get married.

Sehun held onto Luhan’s fingers, locking them in place.

“Luhan, I have a son.”

Luhan’s heart momentarily halted. The knowledge slowly sinking in. 

“Y-you have a s-son?”

It was definitely not the news he expected. The thought of Sehun committing adultery had him shivering in fear, but that was not what Sehun had delivered. So when Sehun told him this, Luhan felt the quivering subside replaced with a new sensation he couldn’t quite describe.

Was it relief? Luhan pondered, but he knew that was least of all his emotions. Of course he wasn’t relieved. Maybe towards Sehun’s loyalty, but that was all Luhan was willing to give.

Sehun has a son.

Luhan scrunched his eyebrows. He kneed his knuckles deep into his thighs.

Then, he felt his stomach going queasy, the uneasiness of everything processing at a slow pace. His shoulders tensed once again, and his lips locked tightly.

Sehun’s hands roamed his torso, landing on the edge of his elbows. “Are you ok? You’re going white.”

If it wasn’t for Sehun, Luhan wouldn’t have known he wasn’t breathing. It was a horrible feeling, yet he felt wonderful at the same time. 

Sehun wasn’t cheating on him.

He has a son.

Sehun wasn’t going to break up with him.

He has a son.

Sehun still loved him.

He has a son!

“I,” Luhan said, “don’t know what to think.”

Sehun could only nod, understanding his fiancé. 

Luhan shook when Sehun held him close.

“Lu baby, are you not mad?”

Luhan sniffled in response, though it wasn’t due to any crying. 

“It’s not that I’m not mad. I’m just…” he huffs a sigh, “confused.”

“I know.” Sehun rubbed soothing circles on his shoulder blades, hoping to distress the sudden events. “I know you’re confused and I’m hoping to fix this. I promise you, you’ll understand by tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Luhan perked his head up. 

Sehun nodded. “I want you to met them. Krystal and my son.”

Luhan huffed in a breath, taken aback from this. His nerves began to jump about and his fingers coiled against the couch grasping for anything.

“No!” He doesn’t comply. “I don’t want to, Sehun. It’s too soon. You can’t just suddenly spring this on me and then tell me to meet them. I can’t do it, I won’t be able to-”

“Calm down,” Sehun grabbed the quivering boy’s hands. He gently pushed his bangs out of his forehead, an attempt to lower the frantic nerves. “I won’t force you to.”

Luhan’s breathing calmed. 

“But,” then it sped again, “I was also hoping you‘d do this for me.”

Luhan was persistent. Couldn’t Sehun see it was too sudden? Luhan hadn’t expected a situation like this. “I can’t Sehun. You realize you’re asking me, your fiancé, to meet Krystal, your ex-girlfriend. It’s an outrageous request.”

“I know but-”

“No you don’t know!” Luhan retorted. Sehun was shocked at the sudden display of emotions. “You can’t do this to me. I’m still trying to comprehend everything and you want to hold a family meeting!”

Sehun bit his lip. He had high hopes of Luhan understanding, but of course, the stubbornness had to work it‘s best. “You’re scared. I can see it but this is reality. I have to uphold my responsibility. It’s the least I can do for Krystal. I practically ruined her life impregnating her. She was kicked out of college because of it.”

“Well that’s not my fault. I don’t want to pay for your stupid mistakes!”

Sehun suddenly felt an aggravation in him.

“All I’m asking is for you to meet them! It’s not like I’m going to break off with you and run off with her!”

This a cord in Luhan. His defensive attitude deflated and he sat quietly on the couch once again.

Sehun noticed and regretted opening his mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn‘t mean to say that.”

Silence consumed them.

The clock on the wall read 4:00. Luhan hadn’t realized the amount of time that passed within these short, but discreet, moments. 

Honestly, Luhan was scared. He was afraid of what Sehun would do afterwards. Having a son-wouldn’t that mean upholding responsibly of being there for him? What if Sehun decided to leave and spend more time with him rather than Luhan? And what about Krystal? What say does she have in this?

With a saddening voice, he piped up. His voice sliced the thin air like a knife scratching delicate skin. Everything was put into caution. “Y-you won’t leave me?” It’s a quiet matter, but it was laced with fear and heartache. 

Sehun became flabbergasted at the absurd question, though he was the one who put the thought into Luhan in the first place. He cursed his idiotic mind for saying such things in front of him, promising to better himself in the future.

“Know this,” Sehun suddenly grabbed Luhan’s fingers, “you’re the only one I dream to live with until forever. Nothing is stopping that. We’re unbreakable.” He was compelled to drill that into Luhan’s head. 

At first, Luhan wanted to escape the cheesiness in his words. But the romance in them brought a smile plastering on his face. Luhan was grateful for Sehun, he realized.

“You promise you won’t leave me?” He then asked.

Sehun, with no hesitation, nodded. He leaned forward until their lips were grazing against each other’s warmth. “I promise.”

Luhan could feel a smirk beginning to form as soon as his smile did. They were like each other’s catalyst. They’re meant for each other and Luhan doesn’t doubt it, at least not now.

“I’ll meet them, but no more lying.”

Sehun brushed his thumb against Luhan’s reddened cheek. “Promise.”

They became one form as their hug became tighter than usual. Luhan had his small fists coiled into Sehun’s sides, not wanting to let go. Sehun was his auburn fluff of hair, soothing any nervous feelings away.

At this moment, Luhan became a relaxed mess holding onto his fiancé. His nerves had calmed, thanks to Sehun’s fingers, but the fear still pranced in him. Everything was a lot to take in. But he was willing to help Sehun. Even if it meant sharing his love.