Krystal is the exact carbon copy of her sister. Not in terms of looks, but in terms of the vibes they give off, the way they stride across the parking lot. The way they look at each other as if they're evaluating one another.

The tension sits in the air and Taeyeon could choke on it at any moment.

"You left a bloody mess."

"Not my fault." Jessica replies curtly. This wasn't how Taeyeon had imagined Jessica the older sister to be like. She imagined a softer, gentler image but Jessica is stoic and stiff and her sister stares daggers in return.

"He was a politician's son."

"I didn't like him."

"I don't ing care. Don't dump your bull on me. I'm not cleaning up any of your mess anymore."

Krystal turns on her heel and slams the door of her convertible shut. Reeving the engine, she shoots a pointed look at Jessica before nodding politely at Taeyeon.

The curtain call arrived pretty quickly. She was dumped outside of her apartment in less than 24 hours. The black Mercs speed off before Taeyeon could even close the door.

It was fun. But she's being slapped back into the real world now.

Reality.

It’s a failure they couldn’t salvage. Taeyeon guessed it failed before anything even started.

It’s a slow night. The rain outside is relentless. Taeyeon hopes some unlucky bastard crashes his car and requires her medical attention. The bell on the door chimes. She never knew cursed wishes were granted so quickly.

Instead, Jessica walks in. She’s drenched and her clothes hang off her like second skin.

“You’re here.”

“I’ll be gone soon.”

“No. Stay!” Taeyeon pleads.

"I felt nothing." It feels unreal. Hearing Jessica’s voice again. Watching her as she roams around her clinic, Taeyeon can’t seem to look away.

"Why?"

"Maybe I'm too empty. Maybe I'm nothing."

"You can't be nothing." Taeyeon insists watching as she trails her fingers over the spines of her books

"I am."

Everything in Taeyeon clams up, because she isn't. She inspires everything in Taeyeon, she creates all these colors, these feelings. How can Jessica feel nothing?

She walks over, tentatively, but the pull is there. It's something Taeyeon has to do, something she just has to know. Something she's been dying to do and something she doesn't mind dying for.

Placing a hand on Jessica's shoulder, she lets it slide to the small of her back, pulling her in when she turns towards her. Taeyeon leans in and kisses her, gently, because that's the only way she knows how to handle fragile things. Jessica's lips are soft and they move, capturing Taeyeon's top lip. She presses herself firmly against her, her thumb brushing Taeyeon's cheekbone and it makes the older girl hum at the back of throat.

Taeyeon rubs her nose against Jessica's and this triggers something in her, causing her to pull away. But Taeyeon is quicker, almost as if she'd anticipated this, her grip on Jessica's arms are firm but not possessive. "You felt something."

Jessica can't bring herself to speak. How does she explain that she wants Taeyeon's scent to linger a little longer on her clothes? How does she explain that people are just temporary painkillers and she's about to overdose on Taeyeon?

"Stop fighting it."

"How?" Her voice is so soft, so small, Taeyeon has the urge to just wrap her in her arms, to her back.

"I don't know." It's a whisper and Jessica can hear fear although she isn't sure why and Taeyeon's hands go slack, lassoing around her waist instead. And she likes it. This feeling of being pressed between the wall and Taeyeon, watching her chest rise and fall. And it scares her how much she likes it. "I don't know but I really want you to stay."

Taeyeon stares out, gazing at the Seoul skyline again. The night breeze pimples her skin. She spends her nights just staring into nothing nowadays. On her own. The stars in the sky used to dazzle her but now they’re just dead galaxies.

She feels like one. Maybe she’s a dead star too. She’s gone and it’ll only be a matter of time until her light fades.

It's alright. It's alright if she doesn’t have anyone to share it with. Unfortunate, but she'll survive. Living will be a bit harder but she'll survive. Replaying Jessica walking out the door makes her cry sometimes but that's alright because she can't imagine anyone else beside her. It's either her or none. So, she spends her nights on her own. Blowing smoke rings into the abyss and dirtying the streets from above.

There's nothing to see. Taeyeon. Taeyeon turns on her heel and retreats back into her lair. Like a wounded animal she closes her eyes and tries to stop the tears. It stings and she tastes the salt. She'll survive, she knows that. She'll make it out alive, with swollen eyes and tear kissed cheeks.

And Jessica spends her nights alone in her room, playing music, watching movies. Dreaming of becoming the star of the show. Sipping her hot chocolate, a whimsical smile plays on her lips. She hums to the melody of cliché love songs and sings them every night.

Jessica thinks no one knows, until Krystal marches up to her, apparently stomping out of the shower, her hair bundled into her towel.

“God, could you stop singing as if your life depended on it?”

“You heard?”

“It’s the only thing I hear when I get home, when I leave the house and now I can even hear it past the shower walls.”

“Oops.”

Krystal shoots her a look before marching back out.

Taeyeon just wants to talk to her. That's all she wants. To smile and laugh without restraint. To not regret. It's a strange feeling. To simply want to spend her time, share, create something. Anything. It feels so tiny. They could go for another drive around the block. But the feeling overwhelms her chest.

(She doesn't feel lonely when she's with Jessica.)

The spaces in her fingers have been vacant for so long. Taeyeon is tired of treading this path alone.

She doesn't want to lose Jessica.

Happiness will come to you when you stop hiding. But Jessica's hair covers her face as she walks. It blocks almost half her vision. Instead she looks down, inspecting her shoes.

Being alone gave her a sense of power. No one could affect her. She was impenetrable. And it showed, in the way she talked, walked. But this independence is making her weary.

She wants a shoulder to rest on. A hand to help her up when she's ready to get back on her feet again.

But god she's built her walls strong and the only way out is from the inside.

She doesn't want to go out.

It’s strange but she finds herself sitting at the beach, throwing rocks into the waves. Watching everything move on. The sand beneath her feels like silk and she’s going to get a weird tan line. But a shadow looms over her and she looks up.

Taeyeon’s like a ghost. With her pale skin shinning in the sunlight. She looks out at the horizon, scrunching her nose in disgust with the intensity of the sun’s rays.

“You always seemed to me as a rain person.”

Jessica shakes her head, “Nah, I like the sun more.”

“Why?”

“The rain makes me all sad and gloomy.”

“As if you’re not sad and gloomy when the sun’s out.”

Spraying Taeyeon with a handful of sand, Jessica laughs as Taeyeon shakes the sand out of her hair. “Why’re you here?”

“I just like being around you.”

“That’s good.”

“Maybe you’re not ready for something permanent. That’s fine. I’ll wait.”

“I’m a realist; you’re idealistic. Your head’s in the clouds while I’m rooted to the ground.”

Cocking her head, Taeyeon looks at her like she’d just said the obvious. “You’ll be my anchor and I’ll help you paint the future.”

Taeyeon’s so sure in her words and it surprises her. She doesn’t understand the intricacies of promises. They’re such fragile complexities. Any idiot could grasp the concept of it, but yet rarely has Jessica seen anyone fulfil a promise.

“Could you just hold me for a bit?”

Moving around Jessica, her head tucks beneath her neck and Taeyeon’s hands instinctively wrap around Jessica. “Yeah, yeah I can.”

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