Taeyeon sighs. Leaning against the cold metal railings of her balcony, she lets out a ring of smoke. Flicking the ash towards oblivion, she doesn't look down. Living on the 34th floor had its merits. She's warm and cozy and most importantly away from the noise from the city; she’s that much closer to the clouds, perched above like a god overlooking the humans.

The ground made her feel small, tiny. And her stature didn't make things any better. But here, as she stares out on her balcony, she was a giant. She could flick her cigarette ash down and make it rain on any unfortunate idiot; up here she felt like she had power, control balanced with peace. 

Taeyeon stares out, gazing at the Seoul skyline again. The night breeze pimples her skin. She spends her nights just staring into nothing nowadays. On her own.

It's alright. It's alright if she doesn’t have anyone to share it with. Unfortunate, but she'll survive. Living gets harder but she'll survive.

Replaying Tiffany bleeding out on the side-walk, her lips murmuring Taeyeon's name over and over and over again with her dying breath.

Sometimes she wonders if she's moved on when this nightmare reels behind her closed lids.

She's lonely. But she's so guarded too. When she loves it's either everything or nothing and honestly Taeyeon wonders if she can truly invest herself into someone else again. So, she spends her nights on her own. Blowing smoke rings into the abyss and dirtying the streets from above.

There's nothing to see... Taeyeon turns on her heel and retreats back into her lair. Like a wounded animal she closes her eyes and tries to stop the tears. It stings and she tastes the salt. She'll survive, she knows that. She'll make it out alive, with swollen eyes and tear kissed cheeks.

Jessica sighs. She watches the world pass by from her view in the cab. She hadn't meant to break the young chaps’ heart. But then again, she never means it every time. Jessica wants a little fun. No commitments, just a little intimacy. Not too much. Once it reaches her limits she dashes off with quiet footsteps, crushing hearts under her heel.

She doesn't mean it. She's just a little distant, a little detached. Feeling alive was hard work and feelings were scary so Jessica shuts down whenever she feels something. She can hurt others, she will hurt others. Protecting herself came first, it was priority.

The sounds of strings permeate the room and she can literally smell the fear. Grinning, she bares her canines. She can feel her ribs screaming but all the scream that reaches her ears is from the man pinned beneath her as she plunges the knife straight into his chest.

Running an illegal clinic was never easy, Taeyeon knew that. She'd known it the first day she opened shop. She's treated countless of people, from different walks of life. Construction workers who don't want to let their bosses know about broken bones or twisted ankles, elderly who can't afford the exorbitant hospital fees. 

Addicts who were willing to pay her the black market rate for their methamphetamine fix. 

Her medical services are diverse. Anything for money. 

The dead of the night scared many but that's when her income rolls in. Gangsters command the best price and from judging from the bloodied girl hobbling past her door, she's hit the jackpot.

The girl looks hesitant, and she shows it clearly that she doubts her.  Fashionably ripped jeans and a simple white shirt is blood stained, her weariness is evident.

"How old are you?"

"Old enough." She replies, clipped. They were wasting precious time with their pointless questions.

"You're Taeyeon right? The Doctor?"

"Yes." She hisses. It irritated her when people used her name at work.

It's a simple procedure, one that she's done too many times.

Broken ribs, sprained ankle, a wide gash down the left side of her body, the list of injuries go on.

She's pretty, the thought floats through her mind.  Three roses are imprinted on her left bicep and a tribal design that takes up most of her right forearm. Binding the bandages over her milky skin, Taeyeon struggles to hide the blush that suddenly creeps onto her face. She's seen men and women, young and old, bare, seen all the curves and contours of their bodies but the close proximity to this girl makes her feel strange and oddly excited. 

"What happened to you?"

"I tried to break up with a guy today and he tried to break my bones."

"Have you called the police?"

Scoffing, it turns into a sick cough and the girl winces. "Police? I'd be arrested for murder if I did."

Taeyeon stalks out, the girl's clothes are bloodied by anything else but her own. Who the is this kid? She finds the questions and possible answers swirling around in her head, which is strange because this is business, she shouldn't be bothered at all.

Its weeks later, but Taeyeon recognizes the honey brown hair. 

Wrapping up an appendectomy procedure, her patient has yet to wake up from the effects of the anesthesia. 

She spots the black Merc pulling up onto the slope. Which is odd. No one parks a Merc in this part of town, unless you're rich enough to buy another. 

Its midday and soon enough her attention is caught by an organized mess of hair. 

The door is pushed open and Taeyeon remains in her seat as the previously unconscious girl is now very awake, her gash healing nicely. 

"Is there anything I can help you with, kid?" Taeyeon grins 

 Placing her clothes on the edge of the table, her guest smiles back although there's something sinister behind it. "Thank you for treating me." Her voice is soft and gentle, something that Taeyeon doesn't expect. "Although the reason I'm here isn't to express gratitude."

 Taeyeon blinks and an awkward silence ensures. "Okay... Why are you here?"

"I have a favor to ask."

"Okay?"

"You're not going to call the cops right?"

Taeyeon literally snorts. "I don't exactly run a legal business."

"Good."

It's the last thing she hears before something white flashes and a really loud crash. Everything fades to black. The last thing Taeyeon can remember is the smell of strawberries.

Her head pounds. She knows she isn't dead just because she doesn't feel dead. Maybe she is. She's seen death way too many times then she's comfortable with but she's never felt what it's like. But somehow she knows that she isn't. It's pitch black and her head pounds maniacally. Like a ticking time bomb.

Taeyeon hates this state of nothingness. Her mind's active but her body refuses to respond and that irritates her. She's always been a restless soul. Itchy fingers. Without them she didn't have a way to anchor her mind.

She hasn't had much rest. No, this isn't what she needs but her unresponsive body lies motionless and her eyes are screwed tight. Instead, images flicker from behind her eyelids, transporting her back.

Watching the life seep out from her veins wasn't her intention. Taeyeon simply wasn't good enough.

And like a movie, it replays. She's there on the sidewalk, once again. Crouched over. Hands frozen into place. The blood flowing until it stains her clothes until she's no longer sure who's bleeding. Tiffany? Or her? Her heart felt like it was about to combust; she felt like she could die.

And she feels it once again. In waves, in currents. She feels like she could throw herself off another cliff once again. She feels herself slowly forgetting how to exist again.

Jessica could get into serious trouble. Kidnapping? This was new. That's one something she'd never see herself being thrown behind bars for.

She parks her car and waits. She doesn't know what she's waiting for. But she waits. She's hoping that the answer will present itself.

Her fingers are the first. They flinch and Taeyeon grins, mentally. Those fidgety muscles just couldn't keep still. They twitch and flinch and suddenly her eyes flicker open.

Everything hits her and after what felt like an eternity of darkness, her eyes flutter open to white light. Her head pounds with a vengeance, as if it's pissed she escaped their clutches of a self-induced peace.

It takes her an hour before she properly arranges herself. She sits up on the black leather seat. Her hair has seen better days. Lips chapped. Her skin bares the marks and indents of having a seat belt pressed along the side of her face for so long

"Lady, you're a psychopath." Taeyeon croaks, when she catches Jessica staring at her from the rear view mirror.

Jessica laughs. They're parked in the middle of a highway.

"Where are we?"

"I have no idea."

"Can I asked why the am I here?"

"You look like you needed a break."

"Am I supposed to say thank you?" Taeyeon spits angrily. Her disbelief grows, she feels it in her fingertips. If she could zap this strange woman in front of her, she would.

But all Jessica does is shrug. Turning, she looks Taeyeon dead in the eye and Jessica can't remember the last time someone didn't flinch or look shyly away. "Maybe. Or maybe it takes another sad soul to be able to recognize another. You saved me, this is what I can offer to you in return."

The drive is quiet. The car hums as Jessica aimlessly steers them into the direction of nowhere and Taeyeon's so tempted to do something.

Anything.

Arrange the already spotless interior. Dust off the flint on the seats. She's so very close to strangling herself with the seat belts. But she doesn't. Instead, she opens to speak. "You never told me your name."

She sees a hint of a smirk ghost over her features. "Jessica."

"American?"

"Korean."

"How did you know my name then?"

"Many know your name."

That's true. "What's your story?"

"Huh?"

"It'll be a secret. A promise from one sad soul to another."

is pressed into a thin line. It almost disappears. "I'm just sad. It's an unexplainable sadness. The world lets me down at every corner. Or maybe I'm the letdown. Either way. I'm standing outside the door of happiness and the door is locked from the inside."

There's silence and Taeyeon notices the white on Jessica's knuckles. "There was a girl I liked. She died. I watched her die. I was a med student at the time but I couldn't do anything. Nothing in the textbooks prepared me for that moment."

"But you're a doctor now."

"Not a certified one."

"It's just a piece of paper."

Taeyeon doesn't say anything. Jessica drives on.

---------------------