I definitely dont know his schedule and i dont want the text message to be read by his manager and cause him additional trouble. 

So at lunch time, i just dropped a simple text - 'Hi- Hope you have fun shooting today as well'. I didnt hear back for hours. I got busy with my books. Its time i finish my degree atleast this year. I have already dragged it too long. Put on some music on my ipod, markers in hand and a book as fat as an encylopedia- I finally did look like a student atleast to my mom 

Being part of this industry doesnt really allow us to have a timely breakfast, lunch and dinner. Atleast i eat at weird times, sleep at odd hours, workout at crazy hours. I wished i had a 9-5 job at times. These thoughts vanish as soon as the camera is switched on. Its fun to bring life a totally fictional character. So i dont think i should be complaining. I saw her text late after shoot at 5.00. I didnt want to show too much enthusiasm and confirm my manager's suspicion. I just glanced and placed my cell back on my pocket. He seemed relieved. The rest of the day i was busy researching on how PD's work. Trying my best to add authenticity to my character. Sometimes i never realise the time until warned by my manager or even fans that its time for dinner

It felt lonely to eat dinner on my dining table which is long enough to seat a soccer team. I have no idea why i bought this? Just for the decor or did i really need this.I called HER but it directed me to her voicemail within secs. She must be really busy i thought. She texted back saying she was having dinner with her parents. I envy HER so much. 

I gulped my dinner as soon as i received HIS call, confusing my parents. They wondered who it was and even threw a few names here and there as guesses

PSH: Hello Mr. Popular
KSH: Look whose talking!
PSH: Oh come on! You pics are posted all around the Airport since you are the brand ambassador. Its hard to miss one
KSH: Thats just the airport.. but you are all over the place from cosmetics, clothing, jewellery, bags.. You have way too many endorsements
PSH: Are you really going to compare now
KSH: I am not that bad! So how was your day. Didnt see much activity on your SNS
PSH: Are you following me on SNS
KSH: You really think my manager would let me do that? so i had to create a dummy account: pshfollower009
PSH: Wow!! I need to watch out for that id now
KSH: I really wanted to set it up as pshfollower, but then your fans have already hijacked all those ids i was left with no option
PSH: You think i will be able to create an id :kshfollower
KSH: Lets not debate on who has a better fanbase. 
PSH: Heard you are the most liked korean personality in China
KSH: You arent that far behind. Offcourse its me at top position. Next is ... and then you

Sudden Silence prevails

I realised i shouldnt have voiced his name out loud, not in front of her. I tried to continue with the list but i guess i just stepped on a dynamite and it was no going back

KSH: I am really sorry. I shouldnt have read out the list
PSH: Its ok. We are all part of the same industry so its inevitable that we come across each other's names 
We may be asked about each other in our interviews. We would have to attend the same movie screenings, parties. I cannot avoid this conversation
I just have to learn to bring closure to it. Am i ready yet- No. Do i regret it - No. I want to make sure i give myself enough time to feel hurt and heal as well

KSH: You have no idea how mature you sounded. So far i have tried to cheer you up but deep down i have been trying to avoid this as much as possible. I have been refusing to check any news online. I refuse to see articles on what they like about each other, what is their opinion on dating, marriage, how close they are to their ideal type. I tried to shut these things, run away from them. Reaching out to you and getting more engrossed in your pain was somewhere to shut down my hurt. I dont think i was ever ready to face this head on

PSH: I dont think i am old enough or the right person to advise you on this. But the more you delay and try to bury these same stories would haunt you. I am not an expert but i choose to cry while i am alone and let it out . I can fool the world , the camera's but not my own mirror. I wish to be true to myself. I wish you could try it for yourself as well

KSH: Thanks PSH.i need time to let these things sink it. Talk to you later

She texted back with a song

Letting you go... (can somebody...)
Letting you go... (please somebody...)
No I got this, yeah

Steady thinkin' 'bout this thing called love
It got me shaken up
(Please tell me there's a way)
And it got my head just spinnin' round round round round
(Please tell me there's a way)
Don't wanna take a fall
It's best that I break it all
It's gonna be better for you to move on
(Please tell me there's a way)
And my heart be breakin' breakin'
All apart remakin' makin'
How can I recover it all

Girl I swear kimi no koto wo ichibyou demo (Girl, I swear to you that I won't, even for a second,)
Kanashimasenai yakusoku (Cause you any pain; I promise you that)
Mamoru tame ni wa mo moukoreshika (In order for me to protect you now)
Erabu michi wa nai kara (I really have no other options)

Baby aieru dake kizutsuketeshimau (Baby, by being in love, we've only caused pain to ourselves)
And I've got nothing, nothing to say

Uhuuuh~~
Tell me goodbye, oh, tell me goodbye
Dakishimeta te wo (Those hands that I used to hold)
Tell me goodbye, oh, tell me goodbye
Hanasou (We need to let go)
Boku wo wasureru koto ni jiyuu ni naru nara Baby (If you could forget me, it would be the best for you, baby)
Tell me goodbye, oh, tell me goodbye
...
...
...
...

Good Night Oppa

We didnt end with a smile on our face, but today we let ourselves listen to our inner voice we hid so long as actors