Dear readers,

I hope you enjoy the new chapter! I have made some changes in the last one. It could help to read Chapter 2 again.

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Shaking Off The Past

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes,
but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."

Johnny Cash

Yonghwa and Shinhye were sitting on the blanket with snacks like in old times, both leaning their backs against the head end of the canopy bed.

Shinhye had finally told him her deepest fears and even though he already knew a few of her worries he certainly never expected her biggest worry to be him getting tired of her. But he needed to start with the things that happened to them because to the environment they were living in first.

“Minam-ah, do you really believe the general public would mind if you were dating Jung Yonghwa?” he asked.

“Well I don’t quite know. The thing is, I don’t really believe they would mind if it’s Jung Yonghwa or someone else. Most people probably even like him as my boyfriend, if they had to choose. However, I think the problem is lying with the fact that they’d not want a boyfriend for me at all” she explained crestfallen. “They would probably always compare my co-actors to him and judge. I don’t like people judging if we look good together or not.”

“But you already acted with this Jung Yonghwa guy twice. People were even willing to watch you act with him for a third time, if he hadn’t pulled out of that particular drama at the last second. Wouldn’t you agree that they were probably already thinking that you look good together and maybe even should be dating?” he asked further. Yonghwa aka Kang Shinwoo was being honest, he was actually quite sure that a lot of fans would love to see them end up together. There was a reason for them to stay a hot topic for over more than five years. They just had the chemistry.

“I do think they like us. I’m just scared what happens if they suddenly find someone other than him more suitable for me. Will he be hurt? Can I stand up to their opinion and prove that he’s the best man for me? Will the antis pull a crazy move again?”

“Why are you trying to carry the whole burden by yourself?” Yonghwa alias Shinwoo asked annoyed. “If Jung Yonghwa is a guy, don’t you think it should also be up to him to show the public that there is no one more suitable for you than him? Shouldn’t you trust that he is man enough to take care of you? He should definitely stand his ground, if this kind of situation ever appears again” 

“But…”

“No buts! Your best friend is telling you to give the guy a chance. Does he not seem capable to you? Then why are you even dating him in first place? Stop trying to take care of everything by yourself. If you want to be a couple you need to act like one as well. Do you think you’re part of a one man show or something?” he .

“No, don’t get me wrong! I do think he’s capable. I’m just kind of scared he’ll get tired of constantly convincing the public someday” she explained, looking a little ashamed. She didn’t want him to get the wrong impression.

“So you think he is someone who often changes his mind?” Yonghwa asked while looking at her flustered.

“Aniyo! But he could get exhausted…” she mumbled.

“If he is not serious enough he shouldn’t even have tried dating you in the first place. If he ever dares to get tired I’ll personally beat him up until he regrets ever reaching out to you!” Yonghwa threatened, causing Shinhye to laugh shyly.

“But seriously. You told me he’s been courting you for quite a while now. He’d already have thought about all of that and decided to still go for you even though the road towards you might be bumpy, don’t you think?”

“Deh… You are probably right” Shinhye agreed. It made sense to her when he told her like that. How could she not have seen this view point before?

“Okay then, let’s move onto the next bump” he suggested and Shinhye silently nodded.

“You are obviously still very afraid of anti-fans” Yonghwa stated now in a serious tone and it was hard for Shinhye to read what was on his mind at that moment. He looked worried.

“First of all, I understand your fear. It’s all his fault though! He shouldn’t have done that show with that potato-girl back then” he started. Shinhye could tell that he was having troubles staying in his best friend role. He looked like he would like to apologise to her right now, but couldn’t. She didn’t think he needed to though.

“Aniyo! We spoke about it at that time and he even asked what I thought of the idea, since he was kind of new to the whole entertainment industry.” She elaborated as if he didn’t know. She didn’t want him to take all the guilt. There was really no reason for him to feel down about this decision.

“At that time we were really good friends, but nothing more. I only thought about how it would boost his popularity and since his band just debuted I knew it would benefit the other members as well. However, I didn’t expect the couple to be hyped so much. I always knew the public would like him, but I didn’t realise his fans would completely get fooled into believing the whole thing was real because of his acting. Stupid me! I underestimated the effect his acting could have on them. However, even if I would have known, looking back I’d have probably even told him to still do it since we were really just friends. I didn’t think I’d grow to love him at that time and that everything would turn out to be so much harder because of that one choice later” she told him. It was the first time she was really opening up about her thoughts on this. They hadn’t dared to touch the topic before, thinking it should stay in the past in order to not further complicate their relationship. If they could, they would love to forget about it ever happening all together.

To be honest, Yonghwa still felt annoyed whenever this onscreen ex-marriage was mentioned. He knew he did it for his band and it helped increase CNBlue’s popularity a lot. However, looking back, it still seemed to be the biggest mistake he had ever made. Sure, it made him even more popular overnight. But up until now the whole thing felt like a cage to him. He hated the YongSeo hype. The public might have thought it was nice how he took care of his onscreen ex-wife. However, having been a band leader for quite some years it was actually just part of his personality to look out for people around him.       

Most of the time Yonghwa had honestly felt they didn’t suit each other all to well, not even onscreen. Their characters and life-views were just too different. He had to hold himself back the whole time they were shooting. Looking at the past he never thought he had ever seemed more fake onscreen than in that particular show. He could not understand how some people still failed to notice how differently he behaved in every other show and interview he had done up until now. His usual personality was way diverse to his we got married performance.

Why he faked to always be in a good mood? Well because he was still a newbie and he had to take responsibility for his band mates. They needed good publicity to continue to be successful as a new band within this sometimes cruel industry, so he just tried his best at being everybody’s darling. It was a variety show that also required some acting after all.

Also he didn’t want to argue. It wasn’t that he generally disliked his onscreen ex-wife. It would have been fine if they were neighbours or distant friends. She just wasn’t his cup of coffee when it came to the romantic perspective.

At the end of the day he was really thankful that Shinhye was such a logical person. She never held the decision to go on the show against him, even though it gave her the toughest time considering everyone involved. She had to put up with so much hate. He just hadn’t seen this possibility coming back then. If he would have known how much it was going to hurt her, he never would have done the show in first place. He still felt very guilty over it.

“You might have suggested the show for him to gain more popularity. Still, he should have thought more carefully about the consequences. If he would have, he also would have taken into account, how it might influence your friendship with one another. Having an onscreen wife certainly made it hard to also officially have a really close real friendship with you. He should have guessed that. How stupid of him. I still want to break his legs for being such an idiot!” Yonghwa aka Shinwoo railed on not listening to Shinhye. “Seriously, it is his job to straighten the whole thing out.”

“But he tried”, Shinhye began to defend her boyfriend in front of her – temporary platonic – best friend. She somehow felt like being part of one of the mixed personality dramas that aired lately. “He told everyone that his onscreen marriage was already over. He never mentions the girl and tries to avoid her as much as he possibly can without being rude, while he has always supported me officially.”

“If the public doesn’t get it, he should start to consider being rude just to make sure you are okay. He can never let the incident from last year ever happen again.”

So they eventually ended up talking about the one night that was both - heaven and hell to them.

Over the years, Shinhye received so many threats from YongSeo fans that she was almost getting used to the hate. At first it hurt her very deeply knowing that she was actually his real friend, always having his best interest at heart. But she just told herself that they didn’t know that. Later, after Yonghwa and she were dating for quite a while, she almost started to forget about the antis. Well she still knew they were out there somewhere. However, being with the man she loved made her so happy that their comments didn’t get through to her quite as much as they used to. She thought she could eventually break free from her worries as long as she had him by her side and he never failed to tell her that it was her he really loved.

Everything got complicated when the Heirs-Drama literally entered their relationship. Yonghwa had to leave the show due to the wishes if his company. He was already in a bad mood, when the filming started. Shinhye was devastated as well. But when she became conscious of some of Yonghwa’s fans’ reactions, she thought that it might even be for the best to lay low for a while. She didn’t expect him to get even angrier about it. Well she didn’t realise back then that he probably thought she didn’t love him as much as he loved her since he was even willing to announce the relationship officially just to shut up these stupid fan rumours, what she told him not to do.

As if that wasn’t already bad enough, The Heirs evolved from a mere teenager drama to the touchiest drama Yonghwa had ever seen between high schoolers onscreen. It really got to him how damn Lee Minho was able to touch his girlfriend all day long, while he had to officially stay away from her due to potential anti-fans. That guy even flew to LA with here for god’s sake!

Because of their hectic schedule it became almost impossible to simply meet up and the increasing number of kissing scenes on Shinhyes part made Yonghwa even wearier, when at the same time his not much loved own dram