SM's first rule to survival: there are no friends in this world.

Kris firmly believes in this. Maintaining his distance is one of his most important rules in the game of surviving in a company where everyone tries to push each other out. At SM, the 3 most dangerous traits to have are: being a foreigner, a beginner trainee, and having exceptional looks. Before officially debuting, having any of the 3 traits can be deadly. Incidentally, Kris has all 3 of these traits. Thus, without a doubt, from the first day he stepped into SM, jeers and ruthless sabotages came everyday. He can't escape them, and can only harshly swallow his complaints and the feeling of injustice back down. 

The coldness from Korean trainees forming cliques to gossip about him and the company's older trainers laughing behind his back don't even bother him now.  

Kris always tells himself: "Raise your head and proudly deal with them, or just scram and go back home." 

Although the rest of the foreigners' attitudes initially made him want to treat these "friends" sincerely, he learned after multiple sabotages. He realized: this place isn't simply just a "school" or a "company". Here, before debut, everyone is the rock that will make you stumble. To not be stepped on by others, you must be stronger than them. Only when others fear you will they respect you. 

He's not like Kim Jongin: having natural talents and good relations with sunbaes. 

Nor is he like Zhang Yixing: being able to throw away his life, breathing only to practice. 

Not to bother mentioning Park Chanyeol, Kim Junmyeon, those people. They have been at the company longer than him, plus beining Korean themselves. Without doing much, they still have a spot among the trainees. 

Although this may seem shallow, Kris knows clearly that before he can learn real talents to intimidate others, the things he can rely on is only himself. 

Thus, Kris's life of pretending starts. 

At the company, he is careful to maintain his distance with everyone, and doesn't often hang out with other Chinese trainees. No one is his best friend, yet everyone knows him. 

To tell the truth, after being in Korea for 3 years, his only friend is Zhang Yixing. 

It's not like that guy is someone who has time to go shopping with you, so Kris's life besides practicing mostly remains a mystery. 

Kris, no matter how tired he is still dresses himself up so that within a group of trainees, in one glance all you can see is him. 

Not taking the initiative to talk, not smiling at anyone, minding his own business, Kris tries everything to remain at a "see each other and only nod" distance with others. 

Just like this, Kris doesn't even spend a year in SM before the nickname "male god" is known between trainees. 

He finds out that when someone is comparing looks, there's always that sentence: "but is he more handsome than that Kris from China?" 

He also realizes that when he occasionally greets someone, that person would smugly stare at the other people, gloating at the fact that THE Kris greeted them. 

Don't need to smile, don't want to smile. 

This is his way of surviving SM; cold, lonely, and even a bit pitiful.  

Seoul morning, 7:45 am. A cafe near SM. 

Kris listens to music with his headphones, sitting at a seat by the window, his eyes wandering aimlessly at the people passing by. 

Yesterday night he had a high fever from hours of practice on an empty stomach, and not being able to fend off his friend, Kris was carried by Yixing and the new trainee, Luhan, to the hospital. He resisted for a few hours, but eventually got a shot and ate medicine to reduce his fever. 

Returning to the dorm in the middle of the night, his soreness in his gums finally went away. After a night's sleep, his puffy face also returned to its normal state. Waking up in the morning, Kris found that his face did become smaller. His entire face seemed as if it got sharper by 5 degrees.

He wanted to laugh at his reflection in the mirror, but couldn't. It's a bit tragic. 

He finally reached a decision, and changed his clothes before he prepared to go out to practice. 

The weather's really nice, and his steps unconsciously became faster. However, as he neared the company, he suddenly didn't feel like entering it. Those days of missed practices puts more and more pressure on him as he neared the company, and frustration filled him again. It's as if something was stuck in his throat, not allowing him to breathe properly. Kris furrowed his eyebrows, and in the end turned around and chose a cafe to temporarily let himself breathe. 

Just in this sunny morning where he's in a bad mood. Kris sees him again. That black and whit