I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER
TRAIL OF LOST MEMORIES
I didn't notice how much I have ran before I saw familiar house in front of me. It was Zico's house, well I didn't know if it was his, but anyways I walked closer to the house, because there was something I wanted to ask from him. Before I even managed to knock the door, someone opened it for me, it was Zico.
"I knew you would come back to me." He said and grinned at me.
"I didn't come to ask for job if that is what you mean." I answered back.
"Then you can go away." He said and he was about to close the door, but I put my foot between the door and the wall.
"I want to ask you about something." I said to him.
"What?"
"I heard there was a dead body found where Sungbrothers found me...." I started.
"Why you want to hear about it from me? I'm not responsible to tell you anything about it." He told me and he was somehow right about that.
"Because they lied to me, I don't want to hear anything from them, they would probably just lie more."
"And what makes you think I wouldn't lie to you?"
"JUST TELL ME OKAY?!?" I yelled at Zico. He hesitated a bit and then he continued:
"Okay then. What do you want to hear?" I don't know what made him change his mind, but it didn't matter now.
"About who it was and what had happened to him."
"Well I don't know about his name, but the way he had died, it wasn't an accident. It was like someone would have stabbed him to death or something, he had pretty much long cuts everywhere." He told me. I was listening to him carefully and of course I didn't like what I heard. When he finished, I sighted and thanked him and I turned around and walked away and I could hear the door closing behind me. I was expecting him to return a favour, but after all he just let me go, I wonder why...
When I was walking back to the town I saw this black haired guy again. He walked towards me and I don't know if I was seeing things, but it looked like he was grinning at me once again, what is his problem?! well I didn't think about it much and I kept walking and thinking until someone stopped me. It was the polices.
"We need to talk." They said at me.
"Okay...." I said back and they took me to the police station. After sitting down in the hearing room, I asked right away:
"What is this about?" I was curious, they wouldn't drag me all the way to here if they didn't have anything important to say.
"Well we wanted to talk about the accident." They told me.
"What about it? I thought I told everything last time."
"Have you seen this guy anywhere before?" One of the polices showed me a picture of a guy and I swear I hadn't seen him before, at least I don't remember seeing.
"No I don't think so." I told them. The polices looked at each others and then again at me.
"Don't lie to us."
"I AM NOT LYING! WHO IS HE?" I yelled, I had had enough of all these questions and secrets.
"We found him in the same place where you were found." They told me. My heart stopped for a second, so he is the one? I gulped and I'm sure they heard it and after a moment of silence I asked:
"Really? what happened to him?" I prentended to know anything about it and I don't know if the polices believed me.
"All we can say is that he died because of his wounds, his body was full of cuts, probably the murder weapon was a knife." Just exactly what Zico told me about it.
"And why are you telling me this?" I asked them even though I already knew what they were chasing for and I couldn't help but think the same too.
"Because it seems like you are our only suspect here." I was right, they suspected me, then again who didn't? I was suspecting myself aswell.
"Ohh I see, but you can't keep me here, because you don't have any evidence?" I asked and lifted my hands on the table.
"Thats right, but we will get the evidence." One of the polices said and hitted his hands to the table too.
"Call me back then." I said and stood up and left the room. I don't know did they have any other questions, but they didn't yell after me, I'm sure they just wanted me to confess everything, but how could I? I don't remember a thing about the so called accident! If I killed the guy, why I was in such bad shape? Did we fight? What exactly even happened? I really wanted some answers, but no, my brains just shutted up everytime I tried to remember....
I was walking again in the town and I decided to sit down on a bench beside the lake to think about things. What if I really killed the guy? How could I even do such thing? What kind of monster I really am? Just thinking about everything made me cry, I couldn't stop the tears coming and just kept crying, crying and crying, like it would help anything, I just needed to get it out of me and I buried my face to my hands.
"Why is Unni crying?" Someone suddenly said in front of me, I raised my head from my hands and I saw Boohyun standing in front of me.
"Nahh I'm not crying, There was a little rubbish in my eye and I had to get it away, thats why the tears haha" I laughed and lied to him. The kid just nodded at me, I'm sure he didn't even believe me...
"Have you run away again?" I asked from him, since I didn't see Dongwoo, Hoya or Woohyun anywhere close.
"No, they are coming soon!" He told me and he was right, I didn't even manage to answer back before I heard someone coming behind me.
"Boohyun, don't bother other people, lets go!" It was Woohyun, he was standing right behind me and it seemed like he didn't recognize me from behind.
"BUT ITS UNNI!" Boohyun yelled at Woohyun and Woohyun walked in front of me and then he recognized me finally.
"Oh hey Naomi!" He said to me.
"Hey....." I said back, trying not to let my voice to crack, because I still felt like crying. Woohyun looked back where he came from and then said:
"Dongwoo, can you take Boohyun...."
"Sure." I heard Dongwoo saying and I didn't even bother to look at him, but Boohyun walked away and Woohyun sat down next to me.
"I think I know the answer, but still going to ask, is everything okay?" He asked and I totally bursted into tears again, I couldn't hold back it anymore, I buried my face to my hands again and I could feel Woohyun putting his hand around me and then he said:
"Everything is going to be okay..." I wanted to believe him, but I didn't. How could everything be okay if I had killed someone?
"I'm sorry..." I said when I raised my head again and I wiped away my tears.
"Its okay, what happened?" He asked. I wasn't sure should I tell him about it, but then again he told me everything earlier that day, so I started:
"They found a dead body where I was found...." and I looked at Woohyun and he didn't say anything, he just kept looking away, and in that moment I knew.
"You know about it too, this is just unbelievable!!!" I yelled and I stood up, but Woohyun grabbed my hand and said:
"Sit down." And I did what I was told.
"I didn't tell you about it, because I wasn't the right person to tell you..." He said to me. Woohyun had a point there, if I would have heard it from someone else than Sungbrothers, I would have gone totally insane. So I nodded at him. After few moments of silence, I started again: "Until now I have wanted to remember everything so badly, I have wanted it more than anything, but now when I know this... I'm afraid of remember, do you know why? Because I'm afraid that I killed him. I don't want to remember the moment when I slice him into pieces, just watching when life die down from him...." I could feel tears coming again.
"Oh god not again..." I started and wiped away the tears.
"I don't believe it was you who did it." Woohyun suddenly said and looked at me.
"Then who else it could be?" I asked.
"Maybe there was someone else who hurted you and the other guy..." He told me. I don't know if he really thought so or did he just want me to feel better, but what if it wasn't me after all? Why didn't I think about this first? but then why did the polices blame me? I had no idea what to think now....
"Maybe, we won't be able to figure this out before I remember something." I told him.
"Lets wait for that moment to come, shall we?" He asked and smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back, he had adorable eyesmile! What am I thinking......
"Want to come for a coffee at our place? I'm sure Boohyun would want to play with you too." Woohyun asked from me, I even got a bit suprised.
"As nice as the plan sounds, but I think I have to go back to Sungbrothers.... is it okay if I come later?"
"Sure thing!" He said. We said byebyes to each others and he walked to different direction than me.
I was walking back to Sungbrothers' house and I saw that their door was a bit open, like when I went there earlier. I wondered if they didn't remember to close the door when I ran away. I looked in and didn't see anyone, but I could hear noises inside and I yelled:
"Is anyone home?" and I walked in and when I was about to look in the livingroom, someone pushed me towards the wall and when I was against the wall, he had a knife close to my throat.
"WHO ARE YOU?!?" I yelled, because I couldn't see anything, the house was dark. Then the person putted the lights on and I could see who it was, it was the black haired guy from before.
"You..." I said and I tried to struggle away, but he didn't let me.
"Yeah me." He answered, still holding his knife close to my throat.
"What are you doing here? stealing something, huh?!?" I yelled at him, I wondered why I wasn't scared of the situation, he could just kill me right away whenever he wanted.
"No, I'm looking for stuff actually, not stealing it."
"Is that so? Who are you anyways?! just leave before any of the Sungbrothers comes home!" I yelled at him, trying to survive from this without any injuries.
"I have a few things to say to you, thats why I am here mostly." What? to me? what even...
"Tell it then!"
"If I were you, I would start to dig my memory and start to remember stuff before its too late." He said to me and grinned again. Seriously, I was starting to hate that stupid smile of his. but what was that supposed to mean?
"What are you saying?" I asked and tried to struggle away, but he pushed me back against the wall. Before he could say anything, we heard people talking outside the house, I could recognize Sungyeol's voice. The guy stepped back and let me go and he was already at the backdoor and then he turned around and said:
"For example trying to remember who I am." and he stepped outside and started to run away. In that same second Sungyeol, Sungjong and Sunggyu stepped inside the house and saw me in the livingroom, being all shocked.
"ARE YOU OKAY? WE WERE LOOKING FOR YOU!" Sungyeol yelled at me.
"I'm fine...." I lied at them.
"Naomi, we are----" Sunggyu started, but I interrupted him saying:
"I'm going upstairs for a moment..." and I walked to Sungjong's and mine room. Once again went to my bed and layed down and I thought that what was the guy doing here and what did he mean about remembering who he was.... it seemed like he knew me, but I didn't remember him.... how could this be even possible if I wasn't from around here?
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