Chapter 2

Baekhyun opened his eyes and winced at the sunlight.

“Seulgi, Namjoo, close the curtains.”

But it wasn’t his maids who answered. “No, it’s time for you to get up.”

Baekhyun sat up and stared at Jongdae in shock. “Lor—Jongdae, why are you here?”

Jongdae grinned. “I’ve been here every day for a week, waiting for you to recover.”

“A week?” Baekhyun echoed. He knew he’d been sick, but he had no idea it had been for so long. He held his head in his hands, struggling to remember. Yes, Jongdae had been there. They talked about needles, and…and there had been someone else.

“Who were you talking to?” Baekhyun asked. “The man who you…you said you’d pay something only you had.”

Jongdae’s eyes widened briefly. “You remember that?”

“Who was it?”

Jongdae hesitated. “A friend of mine is a very gifted doctor. His name is Do Kyungsoo. I asked him to find a new protocol for your treatment.”

“Did he?”

Jongdae smiled. “Yes. One injection, every four days, and it will work even better than the multiple injections you received before. I asked if it had to be through a needle, Kyungsoo said it was the only way. But he assured me, it won’t hurt you the way the others did.”

Baekhyun’s head spun, and he struggled to understand. “So…so I’ll get better?”

Jongdae nodded. “That’s the idea. You will Improve, and it will give you more time, I swear it.”

Baekhyun leaned forward. “Can it work on my mother?”

Jongdae looked at him sadly. “No, it’s too late for her.” He took Baekhyun’s hands. “But it’s not too late for you.”

Baekhyun looked away. “But…what kind of life will I have?”

Jongdae squeezed his hands slightly. “Nothing has been decided yet. You have some time, you should make the best of it. And none of us really know what the future holds. You may be surprised, you may find a path that you like. But you’ll never know unless you try. Death can’t be undone, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun’s eyes filled with tears. “What if…what if I find a new path and…and I’m not allowed to take it? My father has very specific demands for me.”

Jongdae was quiet for a few moments. Then he said, “I didn’t know your mother well, but I was fond of her. And through her letter I know how she loved you, and what a good woman she was. I know you may have a hard time believing this, but I genuinely care about you, just for you. Still, as we haven’t known each other long, perhaps you’ll believe me more when I say that as a favor to your mother, I will do my best to make sure that you live only the life that you want.”

Baekhyun didn’t know what to say, but Jongdae seemed to understand.

“I know this is a lot to tell you, considering that you’ve just woken up after being ill for so long. You’ve had one injection already, by the way, that’s why you’re feeling better. Now, Seulgi and Namjoo should be here soon with your meal, and I’m sure you want to wash up. if you feel up to it, I would like to join you for dinner tonight.”

“Join me?” Baekhyun asked.

“Well, I wouldn’t ask you to sit through a formal dinner in the dining room. Might I come here, if it’s alright?”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yes, I would like that.”

Jongdae smiled. “I will see you in a few hours, then.”

It took days for Baekhyun to stop trying to understand why Jongdae had said and done what he had, and even when he decided to stop thinking about it, it wasn’t because he understood. He just got tired of constantly wondering why Jongdae was truly so invested in him, and made himself stop thinking about it. It was strange, Baekhyun knew nothing about Jongdae but Jongdae knew everything about him in only a few days, because he asked so many damn questions, and Baekhyun didn’t know how to not answer them. Finally after a week of dinners together and Jongdae’s hovering, Baekhyun turned to him and snapped, “And what about you? When is it my turn to ask you questions?”

Jongdae looked surprised. “You could have asked me anything you wanted to, whenever you wanted. I thought you weren’t interested. I’m sorry.”

And of course, Baekhyun felt like a complete fool for having snapped, and meekly asked, “Where is your family?” He wondered if it was too personal, but Jongdae answered him.

“They died when I was young. I was quite lonely before you came here.”

Baekhyun looked around the sitting room. He’d left his bedroom only that day for the first time since falling ill, and he’d forgotten the understated grandeur of the house. “Was it their house?”

Jongdae nodded. “It’s been in my family for many, many years. I really did very little to it, most of what I did was removal. I took down a lot of the heavier decorations and replaced them with lighter ones.”

Baekhyun nodded and nibbled at a cookie on his plate. Jongdae smiled at him.

“Please eat something. You’re so thin, it’s quite unhealthy.”

Baekhyun sighed. “If I ate every time you told me to, I wouldn’t fit in my dresses anymore.” Then he clapped a hand over his mouth, amazed that he had said such a thing. Jongdae supposedly knew about it but neither of them had said anything.

“What’s wrong?” Jongdae asked. “Do you want to wear them?”

Baekhyun was silent.

“I have no issue with it,” Jongdae continued, “If you want to wear them, it’s okay. Don’t you remember telling me that you wanted to be buried in the red one?”

Baekhyun felt the blood drain from his face. “I said that?” He asked from behind his hand.

Jongdae nodded. “You did indeed. Is something wrong?”

Baekhyun lowered his hand. “I…I don’t know what I want,” he said quietly. “After my father found out about my…habit, he forbade it, then allowed it again when he realized he could use it to…sell me to men. I don’t even know if I have a choice in the matter.”

“You do now,” Jongdae said firmly. “Do what pleases you, Baekhyun.”

‘What pleases me,’ Baekhyun thought to himself. He thought about it all evening, and in the morning he was awake before Seulgi and Namjoo came to his room. He was sitting at his dressing table brushing his hair, and a deep blue dress laid out on the bed.

“I will wear that today,” Baekhyun said.

The dress was made of a light cotton and trimmed in lace. It had long, flowing sleeves and a full skirt, and a low neckline. Baekhyun loved it because it made him look tall and slim, and it highlighted his neck and collar bones. It had been the model for all others after it. He painted his eyelids with black powder and touched a light pink wax on his lips. Then he put on his boots and grabbed a parasol, and went outside. He hadn’t seen the gardens yet, today he would do that.

As it turned out, Jongdae’s gardens were excellent, their size and variety rivaled even Baekhyun’s mothers’ garden. The flowers were just in the earliest stages of blooming, and he couldn’t wait for next week when they would be in full blossom. Aside from small, singular flowers like tulips and daisies, there were bushes and trees full of blooms, and on the very edge of the property a line of tall trees, which Baekhyun could only assume to be decades old. Jongdae’s whole family had worked very hard on this garden.

He sensed someone behind him and turned. Jongdae stood a few steps away, a smile on his face.

“What do you think?”

Baekhyun looked around. “I’ve never seen so many plants in one place. Some I’ve never seen at all.”

“I happen to know a bit about all of them. I could tell you about them, if you’d like.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yes, I would like that.” And he linked his arm with Jongdae’s, and they walked together.

Jongdae was knowledgeable about much more than plants, as Baekhyun soon discovered. Jongdae’s areas of knowledge covered plants, animals, rock and gems, medicine, and even space. It took a few weeks for Baekhyun to think to ask how Jongdae knew so much, usually he was just content to listen to Jongdae talk.

“I was always fond of books. I read a lot as a child. Then when my parents died, I escaped grief by reading,” Jongdae explained, “And I positively devoured the books in the libraries. I could read four in one day, and I remember them all. I must have gone through one whole room in a year. I’ve read every book in this house.”

Baekhyun wondered if it was even possible, but how else could Jongdae know so much? He shifted his grip on his parasol. He was in pants and a dress shirt today, but the sun was hot and he wished he hadn’t worn so much black.

“What sort of books do you like?”

“Oh, anything,” Jongdae said excitedly. “Not just science and history, I love fiction. Poetry, romance, the supernatural, I read all of it.”

“I would love to read more about space, myself,” Baekhyun confessed. “All I ever read were my mother’s books, and whatever my brother could sneak to me.”

At the mention of his mother, Baekhyun grew solemn. She had written him several letters, each one more rambling than the last. Her mind was fading quickly. The other day he’d been reading one of her books, and he found a small flower pressed in the pages, with a note that said, ‘From Darling Baekhyun, Spring of his Fifth Year.’ And Baekhyun had remembered seeing the flower fall from a bush, and how he rushed to pick it up before any dirt could cling to it. He had put the dried bloom back in the book, though he wanted to find some way to display it.

Jongdae spoke, jolting Baekhyun from his thoughts. “I could give you some books to introduce you to the topic, if you would like.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yes, I would like that very much.”

After dinner, one of Jongdae’s maids brought over three books, which Jongdae handed to Baekhyun. “They’re from my personal collection.”

“Your personal collection? Where’s that?”

“In my rooms.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said. There was a moment of silence. Though Jongdae frequently came into Baekhyun’s rooms, Baekhyun had never seen Jongdae’s. The imbalance was not lost on Baekhyun, and he thought it was rather unfair, but he said nothing. Still, it bothered him. How old was Jongdae, anyway? Not much older than Baekhyun, that was for sure. Did his title mean he could barge in wherever he wanted? Though to be fair, it was his house.

Baekhyun found himself getting more and more curious. Why did Jongdae keep his rooms closed off? Where did all his money come from? Did he do any work at all?

Baekhyun’s questions were answered at the start of summer, when Jongdae announced that in a few days, he would leave for the capitol.

“Just for a week,” He said at dinner, “For business. Would you like to come?”

Baekhyun appreciated the invitation but he knew this was not a pleasure trip and he would have no joy in the long carriage ride. “Thank you, but I’ll stay here.”

Jongdae nodded. “Do make sure that you eat and go outside, and abide by your promise.”

Baekhyun was distinctly ruffled, but he said nothing. Jongdae treated him like a child, reminding him to be a good boy and stay out of the west wing. Well, Baekhyun didn’t need reminding.

But the first night that Jongdae was gone, Baekhyun stayed up late. When he was sure that he was the only one awake, he crept out of bed and down to the sitting room, and he crossed to the doors leading to Jongdae’s rooms. He put a hand on the doorknob, then drew back. His skin prickled and he began to sweat, and he felt very wrong.

“It’s just a door,” he whispered to himself.

He opened it, and took a step in the hall. There was nothing remarkable about it, and he walked in further. There were four doors on the sides of the hall, and one at the very end, which he assumed lead to Jongdae’s bedroom. He came to the first door on the right, and opened it. Inside was a study, lined with shelves full of books. He’d found Jongdae’s personal collection. He closed the door and moved along. The next room was darker, blocked from the moonlight, and he saw shapes that looked like furniture. The rooms on the left of the hall were even darker, but he could tell that one was completely empty. Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to open the fifth door, and besides he felt even more wrong than he did before. He decided to go back to his own rooms. The feeling of wrongness and apprehension didn’t leave him for a long time.

Whether from guilt for breaking his promise or genuine loneliness, Baekhyun found himself thinking of and missing Jongdae more than he thought he would. Halfway through the week he fell into a slump, and developed a fever. He had nightmares that alternated between Baekhyun being left all alone, and being watched by something he couldn’t see but knew to be sinister. He slept a lot and ate very little, and he dreaded his injections the way he had as a child. And then at the end of the week, as Baekhyun squirmed in an armchair and fruitlessly tried to convince Junho that he absolutely didn’t need an injection that day, there was a knock on his door and Jongdae entered.

“Oh, Baekhyun,” he sighed, “You poor thing.”

Baekhyun squinted at him. “Jongdae? You came back?”

“Yes, I did,” Jongdae said. Baekhyun saw Junho leave, and he eyed the needle on the table beside him. He kicked out his right leg, trying to knock the table over, but he missed wildly.

“Now stop that,” Jongdae scolded. “I thought you were beyond this.”

“You were gone,” Baekhyun said miserably. “Everyone was gone. I was alone.” He kicked at the table again. “It hurts. I’m so tired of hurting.”

Jongdae shook his head. “I know. I can only imagine how much you’ve been hurt in your lifetime.” He picked Baekhyun up in his arms, and sat in the armchair, arranging Baekhyun in his lap.

Baekhyun didn’t have the energy to be shocked. He wrapped his arms around Jongdae’s neck and rested his head on Jongdae’s chest. “I’m so tired,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. “And I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Jongdae said gently. “I thought of you while I was in the capitol. I found some books for you, and…and something I wasn’t sure that you would like, but I bought it anyway.”

“I’m sure I’ll like it,” Baekhyun said. “If you got it for me, I’ll like it.” He opened his eyes, and gasped when he saw the needle in Jongdae’s hand.

“No,” he whimpered. “No, I don’t like that…”

“I know,” Jongdae said, rubbing Baekhyun’s arm. “I thought it wouldn’t hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun sniffled. “It’s…it’s not as bad as the others. But…I don’t like it. I don’t like how it feels…going into my skin.”

Jongdae sighed. “I wish it wasn’t necessary to do this to you, but I want you to live, Baekhyun. Please, please let me help you live.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes and turned his face against to Jongdae’s chest, and he didn’t fight when Jongdae cleaned his arm. He was shaking, and he was surprised when rather than grip Baekhyun’s arm to hold it steady, Jongdae’s hand slid down to grip Baekhyun’s.

“Grip my hand,” He said.

When Baekhyun felt the needle slide into his arm, he gasped and squeezed Jongdae’s hand as tightly as he could, but Jongdae didn’t make a sound of complaint.

“There,” Jongdae said a few seconds later. “It’s done.” He picked Baekhyun up, carried him to his bed, and tucked him under the blankets. Baekhyun caught hold of Jongdae’s sleeve.

“Thank you,” he said.

Jongdae smiled and laid his hand on Baekhyun’s forehead. “You’re welcome.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes, and he could swear that he felt a kiss on his cheek, but he couldn’t be sure.

Baekhyun forgot his guilt for entering the west wing and rationalized it by telling himself that he hadn’t seen anything important anyway. When he was well enough to leave his room, he joined Jongdae for dinner once again and listened to Jongdae’s stories about the city.

“I brought back a new spice for the meat. How is it?”

Baekhyun smiled. “It’s very good, what’s it made of?” He was pleased when he recognized the ingredients that Jongdae listed. “Where did you find it?”

Jongdae told him about a factory that mixed spices to create new flavors, and how popular the owners had become among the city. “I’m thinking of buying stock in their company.”

Now stock was something that Baekhyun was familiar with it. “What’s the projected yearly return?” Jongdae spouted a bunch of figures, and Baekhyun frowned. “It sounds like you’re exaggerating. Do you even know what the return is?”

Jongdae chuckled. “Alright, it’s not a whole lot, but I think the idea is worth something.”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I suppose it’s your money to risk. If it were me, I would wait even a few months to see how the business develops outside the city. You’ll always be able to buy stock, but you’ll never get back a loss.”

“That is true,” Jongdae agreed.

After dinner they went to the sitting room, and Jongdae dismissed all the servants. Baekhyun realized that this was the first time he and Jongdae had been truly alone outside of his room.

Jongdae handed Baekhyun a stack of books, and then pulled a thin, velvet box from the pocket of his jacket. “I saw this in one of my favorite stores, and I thought of you. I don’t know how you feel about such jewelry, if you don’t like then please be honest.” And he handed Baekhyun the box.

Baekhyun’s heart began to pound, and he opened the lid. He bit back a gasp but he knew his eyes were very wide. He was quiet for a long time.

“Do you like it?” Jongdae asked.

Baekhyun looked up. “This is…beautiful.”

It was a short but sturdy gold chain decked with a small rose, made of gold and red crystals. Baekhyun wondered if they were rubies, but there was no way it could have been possible, it would have been worth a small fortune.

“Jongdae, I don’t know if I can accept something like this.”

Jongdae seemed relieved. “Well, if that’s your biggest worry, I can promise you that it was merely a small expense for me. It was so beautiful, I couldn’t bear to leave it behind. I will keep it, if you don’t like it.”

“I do like it,” Baekhyun said breathlessly. “It’s beautiful, I had no idea such beautiful things existed.”

Jongdae blurted, “And I didn’t know such beautiful people existed before I met you.”

Baekhyun was so startled he almost dropped the box. “What?”

Jongdae swallowed audibly, but continued to speak. “Becoming your mother’s daughter, living according to what you believe she wanted for you, even though you weren’t sure of what you wanted…your loyalty to the woman you love so much astounds me. You are so genuinely selfless, so gentle and caring…and yet so true to who you are. I’ve seen it, blossoming in you. I’ve seen that you’re growing into someone you want to be. And I know that you’ll become a wonderful, beautiful person. I’m so glad I was able to meet you.”

Baekhyun’s hands shook. “I don’t know what to say.”

Jongdae looked down, seeming a little sheepish. “Well, in the meantime…would you like some assistance with the necklace?”

Baekhyun nodded and handed Jongdae the box. He was about to turn around, but Jongdae leaned towards him and clasped the necklace without even looking. Baekhyun could feel Jongdae’s eyes on his face, and his cheeks grew warm.

“You know,” Baekhyun said quietly, “I was never sure of what I wanted. I never thought I had a choice. But I think…I think if I have a choice, I would like to stay here, with you.”

Jongdae inhaled sharply. “Baekhyun, do you really mean it?”

Baekhyun nodded. “I do.”

He had barely gotten the words out when Jongdae suddenly kissed him. Baekhyun gasped, and before he could even think of what to do, Jongdae had suddenly pulled back.

“Oh my,” Jongdae breathed, “I’m—”

He was about to say sorry, Baekhyun knew it, and he cut Jongdae off before he could. “I’ve never been kissed,” he said, “So I’m not really sure what to do, but I liked that. Can we try that again? Can you help me?”

Jongdae smiled. “Yes,” he said, “We absolutely can.”

He cradled Baekhyun’s face in his hands, and leaned in more slowly. Baekhyun closed his eyes, and sighed when Jongdae’s lips pressed against his own. Jongdae moved slowly, his lips warm and gentle, and it didn’t take long for Baekhyun to mimic the rhythmic movement of Jongdae’s lips. Baekhyun grew more bold, and he moved closer, his hands coming to grip Jongdae’s collar. Jongdae made a small sound, and he across Baekhyun’s lower lip. Baekhyun gasped again, and Jongdae’s tongue slipped into his mouth. The gasped trailed off to a whimper.

Jongdae pulled back slightly. “How can you taste so sweet?” He asked.

Baekhyun pulled him back and copied Jongdae again, right into Jongdae’s mouth. He didn’t know how to describe the way Jongdae tasted, but it wasn’t sweet. With each kiss Baekhyun tried to think of the words to describe what he was feeling, how he was feeling, but all he could think about was how he didn’t want this to end.

Baekhyun moved even closer to Jongdae, into his lap, and Jongdae held him tightly, murmuring against his lips, “I’ve thought about this for so long.”

Baekhyun leaned back to catch his breath, and Jongdae bent his head to brush his lips against Baekhyun’s neck. Baekhyun tilted his head back, and Jongdae pressed his tongue against Baekhyun’s pulse. Baekhyun moaned loudly, and the sound seemed to jolt both of them back to their senses.

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, realizing that he was now seated astride Jongdae’s legs. He blushed. “Oh, my…was that too much?”

Jongdae looked up at Baekhyun, his expression cautious. “I think it was about to be. But I quite enjoyed that.”

Baekhyun smiled. “I did, too.”

Jongdae kissed him once, keeping it chaste. “We should probably stop here, before we…we go too far.”

Baekhyun agreed. “Can we talk about this in the morning?”

A look of relief flashed across Jongdae’s face. “Yes, yes, of course we can.” He helped Baekhyun to his feet. “It’s late, the servants must be wondering what we’re doing.”

Baekhyun nodded. “We should go to bed.” He tugged Jongdae close and kissed him again, trying not to linger too long. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jongdae nodded. “Goodnight.”

Baekhyun was distracted as he got ready for bed. The second he went to his room he caught sight of himself in the mirror, and he gasped at the sight of the necklace and how beautiful it looked on him. He knew just the dress and suit that would look wonderful with it, and he eagerly looked forward to wearing both outfits around Jongdae. And then he thought about the kiss once more, and it was all he could think about. He kept touching and his lips even while he bathed, and he wasn’t half as careful as he normally was. And when he went to bed, he wasn’t tired at all. He was filled with a buzz of energy so strong that he could hardly stay still, and after hours of trying to calm himself he knew it was fruitless, and decided to walk around a little in hopes of calming down.

Baekhyun wandered aimlessly, or he tried to, but his feet took him to the sitting room. He went to the sofa where only hours earlier, he and Jongdae had kissed. He looked over at Jongdae’s door. Maybe Jongdae was awake, too. Maybe he wouldn’t mind if Baekhyun came to see him…

A sound from across the room made Baekhyun jump. He turned and saw a maid standing in the doorway.

Baekhyun stood. “I was just—” But he cut off as he realized that something was wrong. the girl’s eyes were blank, and she hadn’t seemed to see or hear Baekhyun at all. She walked to Jongdae’s door without glancing at Baekhyun, pushed it open, and went inside, leaving the door ajar.

Baekhyun stared after her. That sense of wrongness he first felt when entering the west wing came back to him, and he didn’t know what to do. The maid had been acting oddly, what if she was sick? An awful thought came to him—what if she wasn’t in her right mind? Would she hurt Jongdae? Feeling sick with worry, Baekhyun followed her into the wing. She wasn’t in the hall, but there was a light coming from the room that Baekhyun knew to be empty. He walked quickly towards it and stood in the doorway, and for an instant, he thought he was having a nightmare.

The maid was in the room, and she was slumped against Jongdae’s chest. His mouth was latched onto the young maid’s neck, and Baekhyun could clearly see blood dripping from Jongdae’s lips.

Baekhyun clapped his hands to his mouth, but it wasn’t enough to silence his scream. Jongdae jolted and looked up. His eyes were red, blood dripped from his lips, and his teeth looked monstrously sharp. There was an open wound on the maid’s neck, and Baekhyun could see two large puncture marks. Jongdae’s eyes narrowed, and a snarl tore from his throat. Baekhyun felt like he would be sick.

“I thought I told you not to come here.”

Baekhyun ran from the wing, not daring to look over his shoulder to see if Jongdae was following him. He flew back to his room and slammed the door shut, locking it with trembling fingers. He did not go to sleep.

There's actually only 2 chapters left to this! What did you think of the ending of this one?