ONE.

Kim Himchan couldn’t stop himself from thinking, be it day or night. To be fairly honest, he has a small anxiety problem.

Ever since he was young, the only compliment thrown at him was how fair his skin is. Then, starting high school, people had learnt to say some stuffs about his physical appearance, such as his weight.

“Himchan-ah, a question?” asked his home room teacher in the midst of recess. “Yes, saem?” he answered, pushing up the glasses that slipped down the bridge of his nose.

“Any thought of losing weight? I think you’ll be fairly handsome if you were to lose some.”

Though it might sounded like a suggestion rather than a question, it still strike the young man straight in the heart. Well, he couldn’t really blame his teacher for once, because he was a man of honesty and bluntness. There was no secret that his teacher was very blunt, but this, this particular question, Kim Himchan couldn’t shrug it off.

Well, don’t we all got that kind of anxiety when we were in the teenage years?

“Can he even sing?”

He froze at his spot, while waiting for his drink, Himchan decided to take a seat by the counter. Only later noticing that a pair of girls behind him were actually fans of his group, BAP. So his ears attentively tried listening to their conversation ever since they mentioned the word BAP, until they reached the topic of Kim Himchan, himself.

“What do you mean?” asked the other girl.

“Besides having a good look, he barely sings in the song. How many line does he have? Only 3? 4?”

There was a brief second before an answer came, “I heard that he got casted by his look, but that could be rumour right?”

Tipping his hat forward, he abruptly stood up, screeching the feet of the chair on the wooden floor. Much to surprise the pair behind him as he briskly walked to the counter to get his drink and out he went, as fast as a wind.

Why did he act like that?

Maybe because what they said was true.

But that could only be because his anxiety rose even before his mind could actually process the whole thing.

He had heard s telling him that he deserved to be in the group, he is talented. But somehow, no matter how many times the said that, he still couldn’t stop his anxiety from overpowering his mind when he heard their own fans saying that.

Anxiety can either be in a short term, or a long term, which might be a trait to the person.

Kim Himchan admitted it himself, there was one time in his whole life that was the darkest of all years he had lived.

That was when he started to have less sleep, thinking about his self-esteem. Nervous breakdown out of blue when someone commented on his appearance, questioning himself when someone asked about his talent.

All those questions that have to do with the purpose of your mere existence in this whole world.

He was not weak, but nor was he strong. He was just, fragile.

There was even time where he got tired of putting up front, that he felt so numb and confused between which of those masks that he had put on is his true self. That he thought there was no solution but to bleed in order to feel.

“Kim Himchan! Get up!”

That was all in the past, though. Turns out, it was just a short term.

“Hyung!”

Himchan flinched, almost jumping out of his seat when his fellow member spooked him from behind.

“Aish, wae?!” He grunted before lowering his laptop from the younger one.

“What are you doing? You’re so focused on it.” Asked the latter while drying his hair with a small towel.

“Not your business, Jung Daehyun”

“Ohooo, are you reading her blog again?”

Himchan has never turned around as fast as when someone mentioned his favourite, blogger.

“Yunyun-ssi?”

His eyebrows twitched.

“Aish what do you know, go away!”

“What did she write about this time? I read her last blog, it was fun-”

And cue a flying pillow, hitting Daehyun on the face. Soon, Himchan managed to get rid of the annoying little brat by pushing him out of the door, it was a tough work. He sat back on his desktop and re-open the closed tab, he had bookmarked the page anyway.

It was the first blog he had ever read since he had enter adulthood, it was also the beginning of his new life. Funny how words work, they intrigued you into believing that there is always something behind every actions you did.

To Himchan, it was the most precious thing he had ever found in his life.

A blog.

And that was how Kim Himchan learnt to take words the other way, not just by its negativity, but also its positivity. 

23 : 25
Look after the Silver Lining

NOTES ;

Guess who's back?
lololol, let us all pray I'm gonna stay until the end
starting next chapter, I'll be adding the actual blog, written by the OC
I've also decided about the length of this story
I hope you guys will stay with me
Thank you for reading! ♥