It’s only a month left before the school recital and Jongin still feel uneasy about his performance. He finally comes up with some moves (thank God) with some little from Hoya and encouragement from Sehun. Nevertheless, he still sense that something is missing, like he’s not supposed to do the dance at all. The moves are perfect and Jongin is sure he can pull it out flawlessly in front of the jury, however something is really off.

Jongin doesn’t enjoy it even just a bit.

He ruffles his hair in frustration and leans back on his locker. What’s this all about? Is he starting to lose his passions? But why? After all these times, everything seems fine and dancing seems like very natural to him. He breathes dance. But now the thought of doing it suffocates him, and he needs to break free. Jongin his lips and glances at the book in his hand which is almost left untouched by him. The tall senior cackles, Kyungsoo probably right; Jongin just not into reading at all. Speaking of the literature student, Jongin hasn't seen him around since he is too busy practicing. He frowns as he realize Kyungsoo didn't even pay a visit to the auditorium like he used to do every Tuesday and Friday, sometimes on Thursday evening too. The dancer rolls his eyes and smacks his own head mentally. Silly, it's not like Kyungsoo has to present every single time to watch him. He probably busy with his own study and club activities too. He stiffles a laugh as the scene from the main hall just a couple days ago makes its wasy to the surface again. Kyungsoo were busy distributing the flyers like usual when he accidently tripped on his own feet and somehow landed on Jongin which happened to passed the hall with Sehun.

He remembers how red Kyungsoo's face was and Sehun was annoyingly howled in laughter beside him making the poor male shrinked more. The literature student bowed timidly to him which kind of made Jongin upset because Kyungsoo acted like they didn't know each other and scurried away from the hall before he could even said a word to him. The dance student watched his small figure disappeared in between the crowd and that was the last time he saw the shorter male.

Jongin snorts, now he is acting like a lonesome boyfriend, but even so he couldn't help but to admit that he somehow miss the small male's presence. It's not wrong to miss a friend, right? Like when Hoya or Sehun have gone somewhere without him and he would feel like something is lost and he will feel like for some days. Just like now, only this time he feels triple without knowing why. The tall dancer sighs and makes a way towards the book club room (in which Kyungsoo had shown him around a week ago and the dancer slaps himself mentally of not noticing that the room is actually on the same floor with the dance studio) because why not? It's not like the book club is strictly probihited for someone who doesn't really read like him.

However as soon as his steps get nearer to the place, his brows furrow in confussion because it seems like there is some revamps going on. He walks faster and when he reaches the door it’s clearly not a revamp because Kyungsoo and someone who he doesn’t know the name is are packing the books that used to fill the wooden racks and ties them neatly to bundles after bundles placed on the floor.

“Kyungsoo?” he calls the small male, “Uh, what are you guys doing?”

The said man blinks and stops from his activity for a moment to look at Jongin. “Oh hi! Well as you can see, we are packing our stuffs.” Kyungsoo lets out a smile, only it doesn’t match with his solemn eyes.

“And why do you guys pack?” he cautiously asks, stepping inside the room and looks around. The other boy who wears a funny specs answers him, “Because the school decides that we should close the club. You know, because we don’t have gazillion members and seen as... what did they say... ah! ‘the less-prosperous activity club’”

The lanky boy rolls his eyes and goes to the other corner to grab another handful of books. Kyungsoo sighs. “There is nothing we can do, Jongdae. The rule is set and we both know this club won’t last long.”

The doe-eyed male turns to Jongin and smiles weakly. “Well there goes your answer Jongin. It’s kind of embarassing that you must come today and see all of these, but yeah.” He chuckles.

The dancer stays still. “But you work hard to defend this club, Kyungsoo. The school must consider the point too.” His tone is sharp as something uncomfortable lurking at his heart. He doesn’t like what happen at all, not when he knows how hard Kyungsoo try and seeing his crestfallen face angers him. Wait why should he be angry? He shakes the odd and thinks probably because Kyungsoo is his friend and when your friend is sad you are supposed to feel the empathy. That’s pretty natural.

“I know and I told them too.” Kyungsoo bends down to tie the bundle of another stack books, “But they say it doesn’t matter. This club has no member at all and we have to give it up.”

Jongin watches as the small shoulder slumps and the pinch in his heart is making him almost groans in pain. It’s not fair, because he knows how much Kyungsoo loves books like his world revolve around them and shutting down the club practically like taking the small portions of his life away. Jongin huffs and grabs the smaller man, forcing him to stand before him.

“But it’s not fair!” He repeats his thought, “I know how you work hard for this, Kyungsoo! You must fight back, fight again!”

The shorter male widen his eyes at the sudden outburst. In another moment, he will be blushing from the root of his hair to the base of his feet at the close proximity because his crush is touching him, but for now he's too busy wallowing in his misery of losing his book club. “I told you I’ve tried, Jongin. But what’s done is done, the school had decided and there’s nothing we can do about. Not me, not Jongdae, not you.”

“I’m going to talk to talk to the headmaster.” Jongin deadpans. “This is not supposed to happen.”

“And why do you care?! You don’t know how it feels, Kim Jongin and as mush as I am thankful for your concern, I would gladly appreciate it if you stay out of this! Mind your own business, your recital, and your dance club.”

Kyungsoo’s series of harsh words come unexpectedly for both of them, leaving Jongin hangs his mouth open and Kyungsoo gasps and cover his mouth, Jongdae watches them in silence. Eventhough he is supposed to be mad at Kyungsoo, Jongin only feels his heart race as the wide eyes glisten in tears.

“I am sorry.” Kyungsoo softly speaks, “I’m not supposed to let out my frustration on you.”

“Im not mad.”

“You should be.” The shorter male looks at him, “I just yelled at you when you only meant to care for me and that’s rude.”

“I’m not, okay?” the dancer sighs, “I just—I just hope there is something I can do about it.”

Kyungsoo studies him for a full minute and smiles gently to him (and Jongin finds his liking grows even more at that). “Kim Jongin, it's not me that you should be worried of. It's you.”

“What?”

Kyungsoo bits his lips as if he hesitates to continue or not but he gulps and knows he has to say what he should have said weeks ago, because he can see Jongin’s trapped inside himself without he even realize it. “I noticed that you-- are not really comfortable with your self. Like you are trying so hard to show that you are okay, but I think you aren't. I saw you dance couple of times, and you are terrific, you really are. But it's like you dance for somebody else, not for you." The shorter male bits his lips  before he continues.

"Jongin, you can’t keep running away like that. This is not you, you should listen to what your heart says. You can’t do what others tell you just because they thought they are right, or just because you want to