The heavy weight carried on two shoulders

Nobody would know how scary the mask I wear is

I carry my own burdens, I wear my own mask. My mask was intended to help me but it only caused me pain. You people always tell me off but I can’t help it. If you can’t experience the things I have then don’t tell me how to deal with it.

 

I don’t even know what I traded my passion for in place of everyone’s cheers

For what am I insisting on trying so hard for to keep on running

I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought that trading my happiness to give you some would make the world a better place. I thought you would return my happiness, but now even your happiness is fading.

 

Feeling inferior and guilty are what’s left

Reality is rising and blocking my throat

I thought that reality was what was right in front of me, but really it was behind me. I only looked forward, hoping for the better. But the reality that speaks the truth caught up with me and has started to drown me.

 

What is what if the card life has thrown at me is really right

Others judge me for what is so simple

I used to believe the cards I was dealt for life were bad, that I would be dealt a new hand. But that never happened. I have to deal with life and I have to deal with a bad hand. Now I see that it doesn’t matter what the cards say, we’re all just going to lose. It is simple, we just have to face it, but people imprison me in their judgement that is so addictive.

 

The lyrics I put my heart into isn’t worth reading to them

Everyone want to chase after money and fame

In the end my lyrics are trash letters GO AWAY

My lyrics, my heart and soul translated on paper. I wrote it down for you to hear, but you only showed me your back. You just blocked me out to get to your dreams. The money and fame you crave will end up stabbing you in the back you turned to me. Although I put everything in my lyric, you threw them away, they’re just trash, words, letters. Nothing.

 

Why do the all only look at me close mindedly

Whatever I did to walk enthusiastically the world

To them was hypocrisy trying to hold his head up in pride

They only see me through the lens we were all given. They don’t know how to take a look at the world without that lens. All they see is sugar coated, but I can see everything rotting away. I tried to hold my head up high, to be enthusiastic about everything like you say I was supposed to, but you tell me off. You said you wanted to see me happy, but when you saw it you’re turned and accused me of being too prideful.

 

People stared at the young child like he was dumb

Adults shamelessly worry for you after stepping, ripping and making you fall over yeh

You all looked at the children through your lenses. You saw them as dumb, as stupid, but you didn’t see that they were just the reflections of you. You tell them off for not being perfect, so they set off on their own journey’s to become fit definition of perfect. When they fell and tripped on the traps you carelessly laid out you ran to them filled with worry. You don’t want them to go through that journey, so how can you ask them to be perfect?

 

Values surrounded with money their crooked compass

Don’t try to defend me until the end I’d rather leave

Than become someone like them

We used to have good values, we used to be kind. But you hid those values among fortune. Now when people set out to find those values, they instead take what they want out of greed and throw away the values they thought they were searching for. When I tried to find those values, all that I could find were things I didn’t need, thing that would infect me to become like you. You all try to defend me and make reasons to tell me why I’m not yet perfect, but if perfect is what you are, I’d rather die than become a replica of you.

 

Respect towards my dongsaengs

Who though it was happiness and ran

To me above the night sky in reverence

For my grandfather in my heart

I ran to the sky, to try and find those before me who knew what the world truly was. People followed me, but they didn’t know I would crash and burn. I can see them all, coming so close to making it. You all encourage them to reach for the stars, but when they get close you shoot them down with your spiteful hypocrisy.

 

Every night my song flows

It’s no use this is just my confession

To my grandfather’s arms I will go back

I know it I know it I know it I am in need

Every night I hear my song, my lyrics. It doesn’t matter, they all hear it but they aren’t listening. It’s my confession, my heart, my words, my trash. I can’t even try to get back to those who know how to help me while you hold me down, just because I stick out.

 

Everyone go away everyone go away

This damned world everyone go away

Everyone go away everyone go away

Sympathetic stares everyone go away

I don’t need love everyone go away

Everyone go away everyone go away everyone go away

This world you see through your lens is nothing but rotten words eating itself out. People give me sympathetic stares, but they can’t even sympathise. They learnt how to imitate the sympathy to make others feel comfortable, but they don’t care, they never will. If this is what you call love, I don’t need it. Everyone go away, everyone go away…

 

Every night I spend my lonely nights with bad thoughts

No one needs to hold me so I shut my mouth tight

You people are feeding me my fears. You show me what I don’t want to see, and you watch as I develop phobias. Then you sugar coat them and serve them to me on a silver platter, saying it’s good for me. No one cares, so I shut my mouth tight. Even if I open it, who is there to listen?

 

With a glass of soju I anesthetize the sadness in the end it’s all on thing

I don’t even remember anymore what a dumb like me is

I used to try and deal with the pain that you give me, but I’m just not strong enough. Now I try to stop the pain with alcohol. It works, it’s harder for me to feel the pain you bring on me, but I feel a bigger pain from drinking. I don’t remember what you say about me, but I hardly remember anything now.

 

I wanted to live without an ounce of shame

To my hyungs and dongsaengs no matter what I did

I aspired to be a great friend, to my hyungs and dongsaengs, to show them that they can be comfortable with me. I wanted to live without worry, and erase the worry from them. But now you’ve robbed me my freedom and replaced it with worry.

 

The s who ruined this are living with their bellies full

Just as they don’t pay attention

To the victim mentality they have left behind

You ruined my life, you made it worse every day. You ruined me effortlessly, without a second thought. You left me to starve on your cruel words while you pigged out on a feast too big for you to finish yourself. You don’t care, it’s almost as if you are unaware of the damage you cause. But you know all too well what you’re doing.

 

To try to forget all the ignorant ones is like empty dust

Just like the pills in my left hand my love has also left me

Trying to ignore the ignorant people that cause me pain is pointless, there seems to be no people like me left. The pills you prescribed to make me ‘feel better’ are making me feel nothing. Just like my feelings, my love has left.

 

My fans hold my two hands and hold me so I won’t fall

I know I want to leave and

Put down the weight of reality that trapped me and just cry

I think I need it I’m my own refuge right?

There are still people who support me, people who may be able to help. They’ve always been there to catch me, but it’s you who’s making me fall. I just want some time to put down the burden on my shoulders and just have some time to myself. It’s hard to just cry when there is such a weight on my shoulders. Even if I can escape and find time to cry, you’ll always be able to find me with some more weight to carry.

 

Every night my song flows

It’s no use this is just my confession

To my grandfather’s arms I will go back

I know it I know it I know it I am in need

I hear my song again and again, now I’m starting to turn like them. Even though they’re my own words, I can’t listen to them anymore. I only hear them, I only hear the trash you describe and no longer hear the sincerity of my words.

 

When you’re feeling the loneliest and having a hard time from this world

I will pat your shoulder and you can lean into me then

However, whenever I am having a hard time so that you won’t even be interested

Get far away from me,

Whenever you were upset, I was only a call away. When you were crumbling to the ground, I ran to help you up. When you needed me I was there, I let you lean into me. Now that you’ve recovered, it’s my turn to need help. I reached out for your shoulder, I wanted your comfort. But you just turned your back on me, you were never interested. You just used me and now you couldn’t care less about me. Get far away from me.

 

All the words of comfort are meaningless. Why?

The meaning of ‘hurt’ to me,

No way only to the people full of lies

Comfort no longer exists in my world. I look back and I can’t see how those words even began to help me then. The meaning of hurt isn’t what it used to be. Before when I was hurt, I knew I could heal. Now I’m so hurt, I don’t think I can recover.

 

Every night I suffer through nightmares, leave me alone

I’m just doin ma things

I can’t even sleep in peace anymore, I suffer from nightmares that you give me. Don’t try to help me because I know you’re not sincere. Just leave me alone, don’t ever try to talk to me again.

 

Every night my song flows

It’s no use this is just my confession

To my grandfather’s arms I will go back

I know it I know it I know it I am in need

Everyone go away everyone go away

This damned world everyone go away

Everyone go away everyone go away

Sympathetic stares everyone go away

I don’t need love everyone go away

Everyone go away everyone go away everyone go away