The colour of my heart is black

It was burnt to black just like that

Ever since you let me, nothing has been the same. All the things that brought me happiness only cause me sadness. I didn’t even know it was coming, but in an instant everything turned black.

 

I break glass whenever I feel like

And I look at my bloody hands and think why am I like this, why?

I do bad things now, things I don’t understand. I don’t realise the damage I’m doing to myself until it’s already done. Maybe you feel the same way about us.

 

Your smile is shining gold

But the way you speak feels so cold

Even when I look at you, and see you through a lens of hatred, I still see the beauty I fell in love with back then. The only thing keeping me from falling again is the spite in the back of your throat when you speak to me.

 

As time goes by, you’re becoming more like me

Sometimes I feel like karma is running after me

I can see you’re struggling too, I can see the same struggles I faced. I knew that in the back of my heart, I didn’t want to see you struggle. But now you are.

 

The real name of love is definitely hatred

Hope is the parent of disappointment and despair

Our love that we thought would last turned to hatred in a second. It seems like all the love I’ve ever had has turned into hatred. The hope I had that we could stay together, that changed forms too. I’m disappointed in myself, because every time I see you I feel despair.

 

Why didn’t I know that the shadow that has casted over my face

Was created from the light called you

I never thought that the light you cast in my life would be the cause of the eternal shadows that now swallow my life. I want to see colours again, like I used to see colours through you. But now you’ve stripped all the colours and all I see is black.

 

It has been a while since the time between you and I have stopped

Misunderstanding is always the cause of pain

It’s been so long since we split, you stopped the time. It feels like forever, but everyone always tells me that it hasn’t been so long. The pain I never thought would hurt us came in the middle of the night, causing confusion and fights.

 

Well I don’t even know myself

So my hope for you to know me is a misunderstanding itself

I thought I knew you, but I am still a mystery. Did you know me? Because I guess neither of us are the same as we were. My hope that was taken by you was a misunderstanding itself.

 

If you ask me what happiness is

When this life is done, maybe when this love is gone

If it were then, I would’ve said that you were my only happiness, you were my only joy. But now, you took it all and crushed it. When my life has ended, when the hidden strings of my love for you have finally been cut, maybe then I can tell you what happiness is.

 

If you ask me what happiness is

Your smile under the sun, but I’m always on the run

I used to see your smile in the sun, making the earth grow with your smile. I used to run to that smile when I was upset, but now I’m running away from it.

 

The colour of my gloomy world is black

The beginning and the end change, black and white

My world used to be vibrant and colourful, but now you’ve turned it into a scale of grey. The beginning used to be pastel, ready to be coloured in brightly, and my end was supposed to be the most vibrant I have ever seen. But now it is just black and white.

 

People are cunning, they sometimes become delusional

Really why am I like this, why?

It’s hidden that we become heartless creatures, that we break our own minds just to deal with life. We think it isn’t true, that it we will never succumb like that. But now I have. I have gone over the edge and I can’t find my way back.

 

Those lips are red, just like red lies

As time goes by, the language between the two

The colour that each one had don’t mesh

You brought one colour back the last time I saw you. Your lips were red. Red like the pain caused by your lies. Our language, our communication, the way we acted towards each other was all gone. It was like I had never met you. The colours I thought we had don’t mix anymore. The colours you showed were fake, and I couldn’t deal with your true colours.

 

The real name of love is definitely hatred

Hope is the parent of disappointment and despair

If my love turned to hatred, please tell me it can change back. I don’t want to hate you, I know I still love you. But the thing I used to call hope is now engulfed in self pity.

 

Why I didn’t know that the shadow that has casted over my face

Was created from the light called you

I thought I was safe under your radiance. I thought you were going to protect me. But I fell for your trap, you knew what was going to happen. As soon as I thought you couldn’t get any brighter, you turned it all off and caused me to get lost in the darkness.

 

Since I’ve met you agony is the only thing left

Every day is series of hills of hardships and temptation

I thought the way you fixed me would last, but as soon as you did you stripped it all from me and caused me to become even more broken. I still get tempted to go back to you, I still thirst for the healing we started with, but I know I can’t go back.

 

Now I sing of breaking up, I tell you

This is my last confession

Even though I loved you, even though I still do, I’m not going to last. You knew that from the start, didn’t you? You knew if you built me up you would find it easier to knock me down. But now that I understand, this will be my last confession to you.

 

If you ask me what happiness is

When this life is done, maybe when this love is gone

I would’ve said you were my happiness, maybe I still will. But when every last feeling towards you dies, maybe then I can answer you properly.

 

If you ask me what happiness is

Your smile under the sun, but I’m always on the run

No matter how many times I try to block you out, you always manage to creep up on me like my shadow. Even though you’re not near me, you’re always haunting me.

 

Someday, when it all goes black

I might want it all back

But I know I can’t go back to you

When it’s all gone. When everything is dead, maybe I‘ll be better. But maybe I’ll be worse. Maybe I’ll still feel the hunger for your company when I’ve started again.

 

I’m going to go back to the way I came from

The summer when you and I were hot, it’s been too long

I lost the boy I knew before I met you, but now I can almost see him. He’s coming back, he wants to stay this time. I shouldn’t have kicked him out, but now it’s too hard to forget how much I miss you.

 

Fade away fade away