Anyang High School of Arts, 3^rd of November 2010, Main Hall, 09:30

 

The tension was unnerving. Lower branches were constantly knocking on the upper broken window. To their dismay, cold air jabbed their colarbones. Unnecessary shivers only proceeded illegal access, welcoming the overflowing nervousness. Froyo and yoghurt timidly cried, was shielded hopelessly by a broken platoon. It was only the beginning of November, why little snow white had to wake up off her poisonous slumber now?

Probably was another mad day.

Yet, it was exceptionally a disaster for Baekhyun.

Kim Jongin was something else. He had mustered every courage to cross Jongin's step; and to his record, he started from zero. He knew popularity followed Jongin, but he didn't follow Jongin for the aftereffects. He intertwined Jongin's slender fingers and tangled their hearts two years ago without wicked background. From head to toe was pure attraction, subtle brush against baby palms, twinkling stars on cresent eyes. Jongin was so bright that it blinded. The praises he received were not a shrimp under rocks. He earned it. He earned it dilligently and Baekhyun watched him in sparkling delight.

All of sudden, those brilliancy crashed against huge mountainous and broke in futile awe. It happened so fast; so fast that Baekhyun missed the train to go home and trapped in vacant station for a long time. 

It's scary.

Everyday began with venom and suspicion from Jongin afterwards. Menacing glances, furrowed eyebrows, deep creased forehead, narrow eyesight, hard plump lips, stiff jaw. Yet, the ultimate description of Kim Jongin bundled up in one word : untouchable. 

The nowadays Kim Jongin was only a body full of devil's blessings. Baekhyun disliked every bit of it. Being a sensitive cotton he was, his senses yelled that something was missing in the new persona of his lover. Every intercom inside his body splited and spreading convincing synapse to hit down the fresh barricade that went unnoticed.

However, Baekhyun must admit that he hadn't clarified the authenticity. Hell, he didn't even know the why and the how. And it affected their relationship greatly. He contemplated once or twice to bring up the matter to Sehun and Taemin, since who knows, they might still have heart to put their fingers on their friend. But he shook the ideas the moment he saw three of them sat down on one table, yet ignoring each other's presence. Baekhyun cringed at the sight and decided that he had guts and pretty much impatient. He just wanted to bring back his sparkling star. It couldn't be wrong.....

 

....turned out it was wrong.

 

Thirty minutes ago happened and left him exhausted; collecting scattered pictures all alone. He might or might not have compiled some assumptions although they just made Baekhyun as confused as before. More clueless if it was even possible. Apparently it just crashed in front of his eyes.

Kyungsoo.....is that so? But why?

Baekhyun caught a glimpse of Kyungsoo's figure at the tail of his eyes. Piercing shrieks could be heard inside his aching ribs. He wanted to scream and cry out loud, letting out his disstressful composure. But he was trapped between chasing cars and exhaustion. Already b with tears, he decided to advert his gaze to another direction, maintaining his remaining consciousness despite him already on the edge of cliff. Though, inbetween his dissorted muscles, there was still a big vacancy. He had no idea about it at all. The more he thought about it, the more he lost his breads on track.

A half of his heart still couldn't conclude a reasonable sentence to fully verdict Kyungsoo.

Not that the latter had done nothing regarding Jongin's indirect request of breaking up with him. Hell, they kissed in front of him. It should have been enough reason for Baekhyun to dispise Kyungsoo until its bones. Moreover, the unexplainable relationship the two was holding that made him, maybe, blurt out Kyungsoo's name in the first place.

Baekhyun remembered a week ago witnessing their secret rendenzvous in front of an empty classroom. He clumsily left his pencil case in the classroom next door but strolled back only to find two serious faces of Do Kyungsoo and Kim Jongin, stood up facing each other just mere centimeters of nose length. He gasped audibly to the unnerving sight and two pairs of eyes glued to his widened brown orbs afterwards.

To make it worse, Jongin didn't notify any further explanation to Baekhyun after their silent commotion. Jongin let the poor soul suffered in zillion pros and contras. Baekhyun spent a week full of wet tissues and saddening symphony. He already believed Kyungsoo took part of the mess, remembering how lifeless he always appeared in his daily basis and how things drastically fell from highland on Jongin's side.

And again, they kissed in front of him. 

In front of him.

It was beyond crazy. Baekhyun's stomach crunched messily as the incident just fresh happened. Yet, he couldn't form it in certainty. He was still dwelling with too many possibilities that somehow kicked Kyungsoo out of the guilty. Something big was definitely missing.

This is so frustrating.

What is it that Kyungsoo know and I don't know?

Why Kyungsoo?

 

 

"Good morning. Thank you for coming and sorry to corrupt your first period. I am Choi Minho, 2nd grade new music teacher, and this is Amber Liu, 1st grade new music teacher. We will be the coordinator for our school's annual music concert this year. You all are chosen to be our representatives from first and second grade."

Kyungsoo kept everything securely inside his spacious memory chip. Like when an orange leaves fell freely onto cold embrace of his steep shoulder, inbetween sneaky glances from certain Byun Baekhyun. Crusty surface cracked with soft pinch. Creck. Then it kissed the wet soil. A pair of dark brown orbs watched it indifferently. Eyes lazily rolled to the left and to the right, and to no direction. He calmly closed his eyes, listening to flute and cello. His surroundings were dancing to his autumn song. How ironic is this, his mind scoffed. But he remained still. His body laid unmoving, no lines of perplexion or distress or even a slight recognition. Only his mind knew which color was used for D minor.

No one could expect anything from Do Kyungsoo; though neither underestimation nor untrustworthy. It was the total opposite of any consideration. He could flip the table and sat on it comfortably. He invited the rival party to sit with him and drank the bitter tee, without much of a choice. His mind blew a mind-blown. He didn't bring branches; he presented the root. When everyone else hesitated on going forward, he kept digging and found the gold.

And also, amusing enough, no one knew the how and the why. 

No one knew how he maintained a stern look when everyone else in the hall were busy ripping off their eyes off its sockets. No one knew why he didn't want to miss the shamless surprise on both Chanyeol and Baekhyun's face, despite pages of rhapsody he had in his own mind.

The poor teachers only announced an event. An annual parade. It happened every year. What's the deal?

Such a big deal.

Yes, Kyungsoo fortunately still knew the deal in this situation. A big deal.

He noticed how Baekhyun wished he could go home right away and how Chanyeol's chest tightened in new emotions. Not that he could careless with all of the drama. Especially not after what happened. He had actually been counting days since secrets slowly disclossed themselves and he did not wash his hands in pearly water. He missed to forecast the affection towards himself. He was frightened. So frightened that the shield he had been desperately sharpening since long story of impromptu, slowly breaking when Jongin intruded into his life.

It was an accident.

Jongin ran aimlessly and Kyungsoo's shield cracked a little. Little chili with burning taste, apparently. Jongin discovered something he never thought exist and Kyungsoo just happened to have strong intuitions. They assosiated to each other more than it should have been since destiny wouldn't leave them alone. Jongin was ever so presistent and that just made it worse. 

Kyungsoo, in all honesty, didn't plan on bumping hips to Kim Jongin even after the latter knew something important about him. Not like Jongin had known everything. It was barely a serie. But, it was a big mistake since the beginning. Any series, even the littlest, costed enough excuse for Kyungsoo to stop it before it slipped his fingers and lost control. Their latest encounter in front of the empty classroom was Kyungsoo's umpteenth attempt to make Jongin do pirouettè and never look back. But Jongin's consciousness berserk and insisted on keeping their....whatever relationship. 

The petite male was actually worry. The incident thirty minutes ago completely damaged his fore-vision. He knew, even without readiness and complete acceptance, that everything wouldn't be same. He knew Jongin was a grenade, for he would explode anytime he wish. He knew Jongin would chop off the metal cap of its body once Baekhyun confronted him. He even knew that Park Chanyeol would stubbornly be eaten by his ego and be trapped in the same hole as Baekhyun. He knew, he predicted everything almost precisely.

But he didn't recognize himself lacking. He should have never let this happen.

What is this?

Kyungsoo forced his mind to never stop working. He should make plans. It might be very troublesome, but if his shell could still be completely clean from another rupture, he wouldn't hesitate. Besides, in front of public eyes, Baekhyun's accusation might have been proved right and Chanyeol's maddening lovestruck-in-vain only twisted the bars even more. It had shaken his inner sanity. He couldn't let anything happen further than this.

However, it would not be a subtle way now that they would associate more with the three. He sighed. The event was indeed a big deal.

 

"We have decided on spliting you into two groups."

In a split second, Jongin darted his gaze towards Kyungsoo. Chanyeol flinched at the blunt movement. He had been sneakily monitoring the tanned boy since they all gathered in that hall of torture. Although still seemed ridiculous, Chanyeol bitterly dragged his heart to believe what he heard minutes ago.

Chanyeol regreted for sometimes being too oblivious. He did witness blantant request to Kyungsoo directly from Jongin himself, several times. The younger would shockingly appeared out of nowhere and dragged the smaller boy out of his sight. Anywhere, anytime, any care.

At first he crazily shouted Jongin's name as if he was a serial killer. He followed the two for a blur rad before Jongin kicked him out of their private spare. Chanyeol had attempted of breaking the locks and barged in, only to be rejected by Kyungsoo. His lips automatically zipped in and he obeyed like a loyal dog. 

He was really oblivious. And gullible.

Chanyeol did ask Kyungsoo about it, however.  He somehow felt strange about the popular lad out of the curiosity itself. Jongin was the total opposite to Kyungsoo. Not that himself could be called similar to the latter due to his overflowing joy. But Kyungsoo was naturally expressionless since their first encounter and Jongin, according to Baekhyun, had recently changed. It was bugging him in some ways. But of course, being casted by oblivion, his trust towards Kyungsoo was strong, remembering their solid three years of friendship too. He bought Kyungsoo's explanation easily. It was as smooth as silk and so original. All the suspicions and confussions he had towards the boy vanished. Hence, Chanyeol swallowed every words boldly. Never once he questioned about it again. He even got used to Jongin's frequent visit.

Well, he immensely regreted it all.

Thirty minutes ago, all of his beliefs fell down. Emotions wildly attacked his heart. But one feeling stood out among them : disappointment. He was disappointed at Kyungsoo. He was disappointed at himself. He was disappointed of his feelings.

At the edge of his eyes, he could see Baekhyun unwillingly confirmed his assumptions regarding the secretive bond between Kyungsoo and Jongin. He felt terrible to him. He must have suffered more than he could imagine as he himself couldn't contain the emotions despite it being strange news to his likings. The early morning bribe didn't help at all. He could only find himself mirroring  Baekhyun's quivering composure unconsciously.

Why did Kyungsoo keep secrets from me?

Has he been keeping secrets all along?

Did Jongin know something about Kyungsoo?

 

"We will start dividing now. Please listen carefully."

Despite massive epiphany his two acquaintances were battling, Jongin couldn't be bothered. He was beyond concentrate. He was determined. His hard glance hung steadily on Kyungsoo as if it would grant every wish he was praying. 

Well, obviously, he wished to be in one group with Kyungsoo.

He demanded it.

It needed to happen.

He might cut the two teachers' source of respiratory if they weren't about to group him and Kyungsoo together. He knew he had triggered sparks of suspicions from his former lover and an unclear giant friend ever since he laid his fingers on Kyungsoo's inner circle. Baekhyun witnessed one of their forced meetings and he was sure the wine-haired guy had thrown him false assumptions, just like everybody else. Taemin and Sehun might be included too. To his dismay, Baekhyun had decided to confront him and he couldn't be convinced otherwise. A lot of unfortunate things happened and his life went decayed. He was beyond hurt and he regretted nothing for he immediately desired to cut off their knots. He thought all of his former life was a big lie, including peoples in it.

Until then, Kyungsoo happened.

He was clueless on how and why it exactly occured, but he found himself craving for Kyungsoo's presence more than he ever knew. Everything spurted in foreign flights of chord since they crashed together; or it was more of Jongin who crashed in the first place. Not to mention, Kyungsoo knew the episodes of his life without even bothered pulling strays of dull wire inside his soul.

He didn't care if there were many people out there who tried to save him. They were not Do Kyungsoo. The petite male nonchalantly jabbed him right in the center of his soul and found a knot which was the foundation of it all. On top of that, he let the knot release itself. Fondly, carefully, naturally.

Jongin's given a pair of royal eyes for diamond; for it would never shatter under the strong heat of sunlight. Just like how he didn't shatter every diamond level of art in his true golden days. Just like how he found an unshattered diamond named Kyungsoo. 

There are a lot of diamonds, but even the most beautiful is fake.

Yet, the latter might or might not know that he had given big impact on Jongin.

And Jongin helplessly desired to let him know, then secure him under his embrace and never sell it. When Kyungsoo rejected him for the first time, Jongin only saw him shimmering even more. Hence, he had been lingering around Kyungsoo's super-protective shield for the past few months.

Thirty minutes ago only strenghtened his will to swim across the sky and for the first time since darkness engulfed him, he wanted to run away. Willingly. With Kyungsoo being his center of nebula. So, as unappealling as it sounded, Jongin could careless if the annual event was the only entrance to Kyungsoo's secret haven.

 

"Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun, Zhang Yixing, Kim Jongin, Xi Luhan, and Do Kyungsoo in one group."

 

While Jongin let out a smug smirk, Baekhyun stiffened in disbelief; Chanyeol was massaging his temple continuously and Kyungsoo could only close his eyes.

 

***

 

Seoul Academy of Art, 18^th of December 2014, Main Hall, 17:15

 

This was all too familiar.

The Main Hall, the knocking branches, the broken window, the shivering air, the pale mix of froyo and yoghurt, the Teufelkreis¹ of Do Kyungsoo, Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun, and Kim Jongin. Chained, caged, locked. 

None of them dreamed of riding a time maschine; let alone a mere idea of traveling back time. If anything, they despised even only a slight remembrance of their past. Yet there they stood on a shaking earth, absorb their poor excuse of a soul to sink back in similar agony : past. They're living a precise resemblance of 2010. Every detail offered a grey dull suit and forced them to sit on a broken piano seat, then played a piece of very offtune note. Their ears were about to bleed to its .

"Welcome."

Chanyeol's ears twitched in pain. Extra amount of cold air made them almost numb and unpleasingly pink, despite the blaring heater and good mass of people gathered around him. He had been messing his brown locks uncomfortably. He was beyond amused to the situation he was trapped in. Last time he remembered, he was regaining his old composure back after years of misery. He was actually doing pretty good job, although inbetween, there was a tiny second hill to come over. But the true scar remained on the first huge mountain and Kyungsoo just needed to push back the heavy rocks.

He could see his second hill was not any better on registering this either. Their expressions sang in dull chorus. He slipped his fingers around Baekhyun's, holding it as warm as it could be. He didn't think he could handle anymore misery.

"Thank you for your readiness and patience. As you know, our college has the most qualified maestros, whose eyes and ears are dexterous to every single pitch. They are trusted to find those with perfect pitch and heart of diamond."

Blood sure was gushing rapidly from Jongin's ears, staining the red carpet. His previous dejected mimic was mortgaged nonchalantly by pumping venoms. He closed his eyes, trying to control his raging breath, remembering he was stucked in a sea of people. He quickly shot open his eyes after flashing pictures of younger Kyungsoo preoccupied his mind. 

Like crystal clear, he remembered praising Kyungsoo as an unshattered diamond. Truth to be told, he never changed his mind at all. Kyungsoo's name was still sculpted in his heart. He was still the center of his nebula. He was still the only person who Jongin was willing to run away with, yet Kyungsoo had ran away first; alone. Jongin immediately got cut on his strongest rope to hang on.

"And for that, they have selected those who are worth to be future prodigy, who already reached our expectations and requirements. Congratulations to all of you, our new treasures. Welcome to Seoul Academy of Art in special education for pianist 2015."

Baekhyun would have applauded loudly and squealed cheerfully. Oh, how he wished his heart could give up for a while and enjoy one of the honorable prize every musician in South Korea dreamed of. He found his left hand clapping weakly with his right hand, though; although it was tangled to Chanyeol's. He managed a smile between gratefulness and ungratefulness. He didn't know. It should have been a magnificent achievement. But he couldn't help on almost  backing away when the person he least expected, reappeared in front of his eyes. Let alone still giving unreadable sparks through Jongin's dark eyes when Kyungsoo practically glanced at him. He thought he had done the best on sticking back pieces of scattered heart and walking carefully to the front row. Only to be shattered again in a single snap. Above all, the burried unanswered questions came back to life.

He looked at Chanyeol, decided to stay under circle rub against his warm palm. He knew both of them still couldn't come over it. He was completely lost in same misery.

"As tradition of our beloved college, we will honor some of you with the chance to join the massive concert without anymore Probe². This year will be based on Four Seasons by Vivaldi."

Kyungsoo still intentionally creased his eyebrows behind his skin. He had once crossed wrong paths with Jongin and he certainly did not plan on the second or more, remembering the first was a big mistake. He had once lost all of authority to his own soul and definitely despised the idea of loosing it again. Kyungsoo did repeat the fall, hard. His wall shamelessly broke down in front of him. His mind kept signaling offtune notes, but his heart deafened by another accompanist. And he hated to admit that it was unnerving. He was dragged back to that cage where he had no suitable key to be called an owner.

He truly didn't know what would come after D minor this time too. If it had changed color or possibly range of octave; if he would leave Jongin behind same chords again or if destiny was still an unappealling grey dust as it used to be. He failed on the first forecast and most likely he didn't fix it. He just laid it aside.

 

"Based on our professional observations, we proudly announce : Do Kyungsoo, Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun, and Kim Jongin, you are honored to join Four Seasons." 

 

 

 

Whilst snow dispersed to clover, clover grew to sunshine, sunshine grimaced to wind, wind ran to crystal; would love work the same?

 

***

 

---

Words in german

¹Teufelkreis : unfortunate things that always happen and circling around non-stop, without a single change.

²Probe : trial

 

Author's note :

Oh my god I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me for so long to update *cry a river* I've been really really busy with college and I'm married to assignments, sadly *throw fake ring*

But this is double update! Be happy! *although still took me literally 17 days to finish only 2 chapters*

I'm sorry, once again. Beside assignments, I really am a perfectionist when it comes to storyline. I always need to look until deep deeeeepp details so all ties will be matched. Huhuhu my bad. I'll try to be faster for the next chapters 'cause honetly, these two chapters are the core of the beginning and it's always hard to make an appropriate beginning. Mianhae :''((

Listen to this song while reading : 

Brian Crain ft. Rita Cherpuchenko - Adagio con Amore : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m_8NlS52Dc

Hope you enjoyed it! See you on the next chapters! Anyeong~

J<3