Baekhyun held a 9 month old Jaxon with one arm and held a takeout bag of food with the other. 

He entered the law firm and was immediately greeted with exclamations of how cute the large eared baby was.

The 24 year old smiled politely at the compliments but was eagerly looking forward to having lunch with Chanyeol. The younger didn't even know his husband and son were coming to visit him and Baekhyun assumed the surprise would be a pleasant one.

After finally getting past Chanyeol's coworkers cooing at Jaxon, Baekhyun got on the elevator with his son and the food. Since Chanyeol had received that big promotion a year ago, Baekhyun had only been to his new office a couple times. 

But of course it was Jaxon's first time. 

"This is where your daddy works so we can afford all your toys." Baekhyun stated. He wasn't exactly sure how much of the conversation Jaxon understood but he definitely knew Baekhyun was talking about Chanyeol.

"Dada!" Jaxon said and Baekhyun nodded, even though he was still waiting for his son to say mama. He kissed Jaxon's head that was full of dark hair before stepping off the elevator at the correct floor.

Right as he stepped off, one of Chanyeol's coworkers was about to step on.

"Chanyeol's not here right now." She spoke up. 

Baekhyun looked surprised. "Where would he be?"

She shrugged. "He left a little while ago. I don't know where he went."

Baekhyun was about to ask her another question before the elevator doors shut in his face. He was confused. Why wasn't Chanyeol at work?

For confirmation, he made his way to Chanyeol's office to find the lights were off and no one was inside. But because he left the door unlocked there was no doubt he would be back soon.

Baekhyun flipped the lights on and opted to wait. He set the bag of food down and closed the door behind him. He also set Jaxon down on the floor and took his phone out. He dialed Chanyeol's number and held it up to his ear. 

Sure, Chanyeol was an adult and didn't need to have his husband know where he was at all times of the day but that didn't stop Baekhyun from wanting to know where he was. 

The phone went straight to voicemail and Baekhyun sighed. He didn't know exactly how long Chanyeol would be gone and no one else seemed to know either. 

The 24 year old decided to dig right into the lunch regardless of Chanyeol's absence. Keeping a close eye on Jaxon's explorative antics, he scarfed the Chinese food down hungrily. 

By the time he was almost done eating, he was about ready to give up on the idea of Chanyeol being back soon. Baekhyun was in the midst of picking up his trash when the door opened. 

Immediately, Jaxon scurried over to the open door and was pleasantly surprised to find his father standing there. Chanyeol, in turn, was pleasantly surprised to find his son tugging on his pant leg and his husband waiting in his office chair. 

"What are you doing here?" He inquired as he picked Jaxon up. He looked up and made eye contact with Baekhyun. 

"Where were you?" The older asked nonchalantly, standing up and strolling over to his husband. He definitely didn't want to sound confrontational.

Chanyeol shook his head. "I was out. No big deal."

"And where was that exactly?" 

Chanyeol sighed as he handed Jaxon over to Baekhyun. "We can talk about this at home."

The older rested his son on his hip and glared suspiciously at Chanyeol. "Why can't we talk about it here?"

"Baekhyun, seriously. We'll talk about it at home."

"Why, is it such a big secret?"

Chanyeol chose to ignore the question in favor of giving his husband a peck on the lips and giving Jaxon a peck on the forehead. 

"Thanks for stopping by and bringing me lunch but I have a lot of work to do."

It was the nicest way of implying that he wanted Baekhyun and Jaxon to leave. 

But of course, Baekhyun had to have the last say. "I thought we agreed there would be no secrets between us."

"This isn't a secret. Now just isn't the right time to tell you."

Baekhyun held his husband's gaze. The older husband could be stubborn when he wanted to and he wasn't budging until Chanyeol told him the truth.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on. I'm your husband, I have been for 2 years, and your best friend for a lot longer than that. You can tell me anything."

Chanyeol sighed but nodded. "I'll take off the rest of the day and we'll spend some time together."

"Fine."

Baekhyun waited patiently with Jaxon while Chanyeol gathered his things. The 9 month old baby giggled at how serious Baekhyun seemed. He couldn't help but be serious, though. Whatever Chanyeol was going to tell him, he could tell it was no laughing matter.

When Chanyeol was ready, he ushered Baekhyun and Jaxon out of his office. He closed and locked the door behind him. On their way out to the car he told his coworkers and boss he would be gone for the rest of the day.

Once they were in the car, Baekhyun immediately spoke, "Are you gonna tell me now?"

Chanyeol smiled slightly and simply reached over to rest a hand on Baekhyun's knee.

"Why so eager? When we get home, we'll put Jaxon down for his nap and we'll have the house to ourselves. We don't have to ruin that right away."

"." Baekhyun muttered, with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Chanyeol felt satisfied with making Baekhyun smile. He wanted to get Baekhyun as happy as possible before he told him what he'd been keeping from him. 

He knew his husband well enough to know how he would react once he knew. Chanyeol wanted to prolong that reaction for as long as he could.

**

Chanyeol was great at distraction if he did say so himself. Baekhyun seemed to forget about everything but the feel of Chanyeol inside of him.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and moaned loudly with every . It was simply one more sound to add to the cacophony of skin slapping against skin and labored breathing. There was no need to be quiet. Mina was at school and Jaxon was a heavy sleeper. That, combined with his closed door, prevented him from hearing any inappropriate sounds from his parents. 

Baekhyun wrapped his legs around Chanyeol's waist, wanting to take in as much of him as he could. 

Chanyeol placed kisses all along Baekhyun's neck and jaw, never faltering in his expert s.

The younger was so glad he skipped work to make love with Baekhyun. 

When they were done, Baekhyun stayed in bed. He pulled the blankets over his body and rested his head on the soft pillow. 

After disposing of the , Chanyeol joined Baekhyun in bed.

"So, did you think you would me so hard I'd forget?" Baekhyun teased. 

Chanyeol smiled. "I was just hoping to distract you."

"It worked," Baekhyun sat up on his elbow and watched Chanyeol's face closely, "but now I want to know."

Chanyeol rested his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling. He was still hesitant to speak.

So, Baekhyun rested his head on Chanyeol's warm bare chest in a means of comfort. Chanyeol wrapped an arm around his smaller husband.

"I had a doctor's appointment today."

Baekhyun nodded slowly as he felt Chanyeol's hand rub his arm reassuringly. 

"Are you okay? Are you healthy?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just that my doctor thinks it's time for me to stop taking my antidepressants." Chanyeol replied. He had been on the medication for a year. He, too, felt he no longer needed it.

Baekhyun removed his head from Chanyeol's chest and sat up. The younger did the same.

Baekhyun stared at the blankets pooled in his lap and took a moment to gather his thoughts. 

"It should be good news, but it's not." The older finally spoke. Chanyeol nodded. He could see the gears in Baekhyun's head turning. 

"But we won't know unless I try."

Baekhyun shook his head and understood immediately why Chanyeol was hesitant to tell him the news. "If you stop taking the medicine, the thoughts and feelings could come back."

"I know."

Baekhyun met his husband's gaze. "I don't think you should."

"Why?"

Baekhyun looked irritated then. "You know damn well why. We have two kids now and neither of them can afford for you to stop taking your medicine. They need you to be the best father you can be."

"The medicine is just a crutch now. I'm at a great place in my life and I'm happy. I don't think I need the pills anymore. I can still be a great father."

Baekhyun rubbed his eyes that suddenly felt tired. "There are too many risks."

"Do you want me to take the medicine forever?"

"If that's what it takes." Baekhyun retorted. "This past year has been great for us. There's no telling what'll change when you stop taking the pills."

"If I begin to feel depressed in any way, I'll call my doctor and I can start taking them again." Chanyeol attempted to reassure but Baekhyun was having none of that.

"Or you'll just lie to me like you have been for years and tell everyone that you're fine. There's no need to ruin a perfectly good life you have for yourself."

Chanyeol sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. "You don't think I'm strong enough to handle it?"

"I don't think this is the right time to start experimenting. Jaxon is just a baby."

Chanyeol ran a hand through his hair. He was afraid of where the conversation was heading. 

"I would never leave you as a single parent. I've told you before. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. But try to see where I'm coming from. You've contemplated suicide before-"

"But I'm still here!" Chanyeol interjected in frustration. 

Baekhyun in a sharp breath to prevent tears from falling. "But there's always a part of me that's so scared of losing you. If you're taking your medicine, I don't have to be afraid of something like that."

Chanyeol sighed, doing his best not to release all of his frustrations. How could he be frustrated at Baekhyun? His husband just loved him so much and never wanted to lose him.

The younger reached out and hugged Baekhyun to him. The older cried silently. Chanyeol hated being the cause of Baekhyun's tears. 

"Baekhyun, I need to prove to myself I'm strong enough to handle this. I know you're always here for me and that thought alone will help me get through it. I just want you to be supportive of my decision."

"It's so hard." Baekhyun sobbed. 

"I know, baby. But you, Mina, and Jaxon are the most important people in my life. And all three of you need me. That thought alone will keep me sane." He had all three names of his family members tattooed on the insides of his wrists. No matter what he was going through, he would always do what was best for them. Or at least try to.

Baekhyun shook his head again in denial. There were so many things that could go wrong. Chanyeol could relapse, have negative withdrawal symptoms from the medicine, or just have a hard time adjusting. 

But Baekhyun could see it was something Chanyeol truly wanted to do. He didn't want to feel like his happiness was manufactured by little white pills. He wanted to live a happy life without that kind of assistance. 

If he felt he was ready, how could Baekhyun argue?

At that moment, Jaxon's whines could be heard through the baby monitor.

They pulled apart from one another and Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun's forehead. 

"Are you okay?"

Baekhyun nodded and wiped his eyes. "It's your decision. I can't stop you." 

Chanyeol smiled reassuringly before climbing out of bed to get dressed. He left the bedroom to make his way into the nursery. 

Baekhyun got out of bed too and dressed slowly. His mind was racing and a headache was forming from all the thoughts bouncing around it.

After dressing, he quietly made his way to the nursery. He stood in the doorway and watched as Chanyeol played peek a boo with Jaxon on the floor.

Chanyeol covered his face with his hands and Jaxon seemed a little confused. But when Chanyeol removed his hands and smiled, Jaxon burst into giggles. 

Baekhyun watched and covered his mouth with his hand. He held back a sob. Chanyeol made Jaxon so happy and he temporarily imagined what Jaxon's life would be like without his father. 

The thoughts were too much for him to handle so he quickly pushed them aside. But not before tearing up again.

He left quickly, sure that neither Chanyeol nor Jaxon noticed him in the first place.

He made his way into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face to calm himself. It was time for Baekhyun to be strong again. He had a feeling Chanyeol would need it.

**

Mina stared at the closed door in front of her with crossed arms. In her opinion, the situation was totally unfair.

Baekhyun entered the hallway with Jaxon on his hip. He was met with the sight of his little 6 year old daughter in a not so good mood. She stood in front of the closed door leading into the home office. 

Her arm