Couples hats.

Couples shoes.

Couples outfits.

Suho’s credit card saw several more swipes the following weekend, as he dragged (a notably less enthusiastic) Kyungsoo through the mall, picking out 2-for-1 deals with the same deadly efficiency and cheer he used to pick apart his student council officers’ reports. 

“Here, what about these?  They’re cute, right?”

“These” were a pair of hideous patterned shirts and shorts sets that looked like they were made for kindergarteners.  Actually, kindergartener Kyungsoo would never be caught dead in those outfits.  They even came with matching caps.

“…Are those pajamas?”

“Of course not!  Don’t be silly, who wears hats to sleep? And they’re on sale!”

“I think there’s a reason for that.”

Suho either didn’t hear or chose to ignore Kyungsoo’s grumbles, as he dragged the protesting boy to the cash register.  Swipe, went Suho’s card. 

Splat, went Kyungsoo’s dignity.

Visiting the mall at 8 a.m. was definitely not how Kyungsoo liked to spend his Saturday mornings.  If it weren’t for Suho’s annoyingly effective whine, Kyungsoo would currently be hidden somewhere in the darkness of his bedroom, face illuminated by the glow of his laptop as he and his party crushed yet another invasion of goblins. 

People usually dismissed Goblinscape as a mindless game for people with no social skills or social life, but that wasn’t true…well, okay, that was only half true.  Kyungsoo might not be much of a social butterfly, but Goblinscape was a game of finesse and strategy.  Knowing your enemy’s weaknesses, striking at the opportune time…there was nothing Kyungsoo loved more than watching as his careful calculations came together in one triumphant end as his enemies sank into their graves with agonized cries, never to be seen again...

(Kyungsoo had made the mistake of explaining all this in great detail in his "Favorite Hobbies" speech in the fifth grade, and the teacher had looked very concerned and sent him to the guidance counselor for a little "chat")

In fact, Goblinscape had been how his and Suho’s friendship had flourished.  During recess and study period, Kyungsoo could be found playing on the computer in the farthest corner of the library, and Suho, who frequented the library in a quest to read every single book on the shelves, took to sitting next to him as he read his latest hundred-page tome. Kyungsoo usually ignored him, but once in a while Suho would try to engage him in conversation.

“Kyungsooooo…did you know that playing video games for more than half an hour at a time stretches your eye? I read about it, see?” Suho stuck the page in front of Kyungsoo’s face.

“You’re messing up my game!” Kyungsoo yelled, swatting the book away.

Suho retracted the book and flipped another page.  “Kyungsooooo…Did you know that the eye is the most plastic during childhood?  Did you know that doctors recommend fifteen minutes of relaxation time in between monitor use? Did you know--”

“I’m thirsty,” Kyungsoo interrupted desperately.  Instantly, Suho shot out of his chair in worry.

“Do you not have water?  It’s important to stay hydrated!  I’ll go get you some water!”  He reached over to pat Kyungsoo’s head and bounded off.  Kyungsoo sighed in relief, finally left alone.

Why were people so annoying?!

When Suho returned, he wasn’t alone. There was a group of girls circling around him like giggly satellites as they asked him for "favorite authors" and “book recommendations."  Yeah, right.  Kyungsoo scoffed as he watched Annoying Girl #1 tug on Suho’s arm. He opened his mouth to tell them to leave, as Suho set a cup of water in front of him.

“Don’t spill it on the keys!”  Suho sat back down next to him, and Kyungsoo shot a warning glare at the girls, who looked like they were debating sitting around them.   Suho gulped down some of his own water from his eco-friendly water bottle and gave a satisfied sigh, and Kyungsoo made the mistake of looking over.

A droplet of water traced the curve of Suho’s lip and slid down his jaw.  For a moment, Kyungsoo had a strange urge to the drop, all the way up to Suho’s mouth, and swallow it. Suho’s smile—all his. Suho’s attention—all his.

But then the urge was gone, as Kyungsoo was distracted by a casualty onscreen.  He resumed his furious clicking and key-tapping, and Suho was once again forgotten. But in a game where every half-second counted, that momentary distraction was a game changer. 

That day, the defenses around Kyungsoo’s stony heart were first shaken. 

---

Suho made Kyungsoo change into their new outfits in the mall bathroom immediately after they exited the store, and Kyungsoo avoided looking at his reflection in the mirror.  Instead, he tried to focus on the positive.  Such as how Suho looked like a magazine model even with a bright blue, tacky, patterned baseball cap on his head.  Such as how Suho was too excited over their matching outfits to notice Kyungsoo had snuck $20 from his wallet.

 “Please tell me that was the last store,” Kyungsoo begged as they took the escalator down.

“Well…I suppose we have enough items to carry us over for the week.  Would you like to go get some food?”

Kyungsoo glanced at his phone, whose screen displayed a string of angry texts from Baekhyun.

“...sure.  I want hot dogs again.”

“You have to promise to put vegetables on yours this time.”  Suho took Kyungsoo’s hand.  Kyungsoo looked away as Suho interlaced their fingers, pretending to be fascinated by the near-empty floor beneath them. 

“Are you okay?” Suho asked, peering over at him with concern.  His eyes were wide and kind and sparkly and Kyungsoo was feeling a little…no, extremely… uncomfortable.  This was unfamiliar territory, and in his panic he tried to think of something to say to restore the equilibrium.  Something like “your hair looks stupid” or “these clothes are stupid” or “you’re stupid”—but then, his mouth ran ahead of his brain:

“Suho, why are you doing this?”

Suho’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Huh?”

Kyungsoo shook his hand off as they entered the food court. “Are you doing all this because you want to, or because you’re a nice person?”

Before Suho could answer, a familiar voice interrupted them.

“HEY guys!  Welcome to Chanyeol’s Super Hot Do—whoa, those are some…”

Kyungsoo’s head whipped around and glared at Chanyeol, daring him to finish the sentence.

Chanyeol coughed.  “…nice outfits.”

“Thanks!”

It was okay, Kyungsoo told himself as he felt his pride shrivel up under Chanyeol’s coughs and Suho’s proud beam.  Sometimes, getting what you wanted required minor sacrifices.

Kyungsoo only ever played to win, and Suho was a prize he refused to give up.

A few days later, Kyungsoo had to admit that perhaps he had miscalculated. 

“What the—let me go!”

Baekhyun watched impassively as Kyungsoo squirmed against his restraints.

“Earth Mage Kyungsoo,” said Baekhyun sternly.  “You haven’t been online in SEVENTEEN HOURS.”

“I was busy!”

“Too busy to aid us in our raid against the Dwarf Mine?  We’ve been planning it for weeks!”

Beside Baekhyun, Chen shook his head in disappointment. “Weeks!”

“You still succeeded,” Kyungsoo pointed out.

“Barely.” Baekhyun sneered.  “I had to use up half of my good potions, and Chen died twice!  All because the third member of our party ditched us for a date with their secret boyfriend.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened.  “How did you..?”

“I have my ways, Kyungsoo.  You’re not as stealthy as you think you are.”

“Which brings us to our second point.”  Chen banged his palms against the table in front of Kyungsoo.  “Suho Kim!”

“Who?” Kyungsoo feigned confusion.

“You know who!  SUHO KIM!  Student council president!  The principal’s son!  The guy who tried to get Goblinscape banned from the school computers because it ‘promoted violence and contained inaccurate historical references’!”

Oh, right, that incident.  Suho had finally caved in and relented on his campaign when Kyungsoo refused to speak to him for a week.

“If you don’t get your priorities straight, we’re going to have to cut you from our team.”

“WHAT?!” Kyungsoo yelled in horror.  “You can’t do that!”  As annoying as Baekhyun and Chen were, they had been sworn teammates/rivals for the past five years.  Without their light and electricity mage powers, Kyungsoo would be at a huge disadvantage.  Without their tenuous alliance, Kyungsoo's dreams of ruling Goblinscape would be over before he knew it.

"Yes, we can.  Earth Mage Kyungsoo." Baekhyun put a sympathetic hand on Kyungsoo's shoulder and Kyungsoo shook it off.  "There comes a time, in every man's life, where he must choose between love and duty.  What will your choice be?  Will you follow destiny, or will you--"

"Shut up, Baekhyun."

Ten minutes before they reached the school gates, Kyungsoo let go of Suho’s hand.  Suho stared at him in surprise.

 “I don’t think we should talk to each other at school,” Kyungsoo muttered. 

“…What?”

Kyungsoo turned away so that he wouldn’t have to see the half-hurt, half-confused expression that must be on Suho’s face.  He squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Don’t talk to me at school.  And, um, don’t hang out with me in the computer lab.  Actually, just pretend you don’t know me.”

“But—“

“Starting now!”  Kyungsoo dodged Suho’s worried arm and marched to the school gates, trying to squash down the guilt rising inside him. 

Don’t talk to me.

Don’t hang out with me.

Suho gnawed on his pencil as he flipped through the pages of Forming Interpersonal Relationships. What had he done wrong?  He was sure his and Kyungsoo’s relationship hadn’t suffered any roadbumps yet.  Wasn’t the honeymoon period supposed to last longer?  Had Kyungsoo decided that Suho was a not nice date, after all?

Or maybe…Suho swallowed as he recalled Kyungsoo’s confession, a week ago.  Suddenly, it was obvious.  Kyungsoo must be upset that Suho hadn’t returned his heartfelt verbalizations… in fact, he must be feeling extremely insecure and hurt.  Not all people were as confident in themselves as Suho, after all--Kyungsoo probably needed some validation.  Suho felt like the worst person in the world for prolonging Kyungsoo's distress. 

But he had to plan his response carefully!  Ever since Kyungsoo had proclaimed his love to him, Suho had been feeling the pressure to top Kyungsoo’s confession.  But with what?

A bouquet of 99 roses?

No, Kyungsoo hated flowers.

A handwritten love letter, with artfully placed droplets of water tear streaks?

But what would he say?

He had to play his cards wisely.  To admit to love was a huge step, even huger than dating. Suho would never be able to live with himself if he delivered a subpar confession scene.  He had to strike at the perfect moment, and with the perfect words.

Kyungsoo felt unarmed and defenseless, as he watched Suho chatter cheerfully with his classmates. One of them slung an arm around Suho’s shoulder.  Usually, this would be the time Kyungsoo would cut in with proclamations of his thirst/cold/hunger/etc. and Suho would drag him off to get water/a jacket/food/etc. and they would sit together, just the two of them in the computer lab, and Kyungsoo would hide the happy skipping of his heart behind his stoic expression.

But he couldn’t, now.  Suho met his gaze across his classmates’ heads for a split second, then looked away.  He was doing exactly what Kyungsoo had instructed him to, but Kyungsoo couldn’t find it in himself to be happy. Suho had never looked away from him before!  This wasn't right!  Suho was supposed to be following him around!

Kyungsoo stood up, ready to march over and tell Suho that he was very thirsty/cold/hungry/missed him a lot-

“Ahem.”

Baekhyun and Chen blocked his way, with matching crossed arms.  “Where do you think you’re going, Earth Mage Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, and closed it.  He sat back down.

This game was spiraling out of his control. 

On Friday, at 14:00 P.M., two uniformed figures met on the rooftop of the school.  The air was still, its molecules shivering with anticipation.

The two young men stared at each other, each trying to calm their nerves.

“Suho.”

“Kyungsoo.”

Beneath their matching shirts, their hearts were beating nervously as they each took a deep breath and aimed their first blow.

“I love you too!”

“We should break up.”

Suho walked back home with heavy steps and a heavier heart. The box of heart-shaped carrots he’d prepared and painstakingly cut out the night before was given to a lucky elementary schooler at the school gates.  The clouds above, once full of subliminal hearts, were nothing more than tattered rags.

“Stupid Kyungsoo,” Suho sniffled. For once, he didn’t even care that it wasn’t a nice thing to say. Who did Kyungsoo think he was, leading people on like that?  Crushing hearts?  Suho kicked a pebble angrily.

Love hurt.

Fifteen minutes away, huddled under his covers and changed into the couples pajamas Suho had bought them, Kyungsoo slowly crossed out #22 on his list.

-#22: Get Suho to fall in love with me-

Kyungsoo only ever played to win, but he somehow felt like he’d lost this time.

For the first time in years, Suho didn’t stop by Kyungsoo’s house on his way to school.  He took the long way instead, to avoid bumping into you-know-who and reopening fresh wounds.  Unfortunately, Kyungsoo had the same idea, and the two ended up running into each other by the bridge. Wide eyes met wider eyes.

“You go first.”

“No, you first.”

“I insist.”

“…I insist more.”

In the end, they walked side by side, refusing to be the jerk that would leave the other behind.  An awkward, gloomy silence settled over them.  Suho fidgeted with his sleeves, while Kyungsoo stared resolutely into the distance.

“Kyungsoo, I’m going to give you space,” Suho declared, as they paused by the school gates.

“O-okay…?”

“I will not seek you out.  My presence will be but a memory.  My face will be but a dream. My words will be but an echo.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Then this is goodbye." Suho bowed.  "Have a good day, Mr. Do.”

“You...t-too.” 

They shook hands.

A tentative truce.

“This is weird,” Chen whispered into his headset.

“Yeah.”

“He seems…”

“Sad?”

“Kinda.”

“Depressed?”

“Maybe…”

“Like he’s lost his soul?”

“Uh...“

Five feet away, the subject of their conversation clicked his way through a battlefield of goblins.  He barely even smiled as the entire army was incinerated with one powerful spell. 

“We won.  Excellent.”  Still expressionless, Kyungsoo took off his headset.  “I’m going to go get lunch.”

“Hey, Soo—“

“I’ll be back in ten minutes. Don’t worry, I won’t take long.  What is food and real life comforts compared to the joy of killing virtual creatures, after all?”

The door clicked shut behind him.  Baekhyun and Chen exchanged uncomfortable glances before returning to their game.  The seconds ticked by, accompanied by the furious tapping of the keyboard.  Finally, Baekhyun spoke.

“Chen, you don’t think he actually…liked that guy, do you?”

Chen scoffed. “No way.  He always talked about how stupid and annoying that guy was.”

“Ahem.”

Baekhyun and Chen screamed at the unfamiliar voice.  Seconds later, the cabinet under the sink opened, and a familiar figure crawled out.

It was that guy.

“…Suho Kim?!”

“How long were you in there?!”

Ignoring both questions, Suho straightened and dusted off his shirt. He took a lint roller out of his pocket and smoothed down his pants.  He checked his reflection in a pocket mirror before nodding in satisfaction and clicking it shut. “Good afternoon.  Chen, Baekhyun.” Suho said coolly as he stuck out a hand.  “I assume you know who I am.”

“Yeah, and this room is for Goblinscape Club members only!”

“What Goblinscape Club?” Suho smiled, revealing a little too many teeth.  “Oh!  You must mean the little club that our principal banned this morning.”

“What?”

“That’s right.  Goblinscape has been permanently removed from the list of official school clubs.  You are no longer entitled to funding or space.  As student council president, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room.”

“No way!”

“Feels terrible, doesn’t it?” Suho sighed in sympathy.  “To have something you love taken unfairly away from you.  To lose an important, cherished piece of your life…”

“You little...hold on, is this about Kyungsoo?”  Baekhyun’s eyes narrowed. 

Suho's smile faltered and he coughed.  "W-who?"

“We were just looking out for him!  He can’t date a loser like you!” 

“A loser—excuse me?  I’ll have you know that I m the most intelligent, symmetrically-faced, wealthy…hold on, stop distracting me.” Suho folded his arms as he recalled the section of Forming Interpersonal Relationships (Chapter 10: How to Negotiate Things to Your Favor) that he’d pored over last night in preparation for this confrontation.  He drew himself up to his tallest height, just slightly taller than Chen and Baekhyun, and smiled.

“I trust that you two will make wiser choices from now on, or you can say goodbye to your little game forever.”

“Kyungsoo, wait!”

Kyungsoo’s heart involuntarily clenched as he heard Suho’s hopeful cry in the distance.   His footsteps slowed, and his panicked eyes darted between Suho and his club members.

Chen rolled his eyes.  “Just go.”

Baekhyun nodded in agreement, muttering something under his breath about equally matched psychopaths in disguise.

“Kyungsoo.” Suho caught up to the trio. “I have something to say!”  Ignoring Baekhyun and Chen’s wrinkled noses, he a container of odd-looking orange things in Kyungsoo's face.  Then, he took Kyungsoo’s hand and placed it on his chest.  He stared earnestly into Kyungsoo's eyes.  “In my heart…there’s only you.”

Kyungsoo blinked.

“Gross!”  Baekhyun and Chen coughed, from somewhere behind them.  Kyungsoo yanked his hand from Suho’s chest as though burned.

“Don’t say stuff like that in public,” he hissed.

Suho deflated, but then perked up.  “So I can say it in private?”

“I—no!”

Suho frowned.  “But I thought you loved me.”

“What?” Baekhyun and Chen cried in disbelief. 

“Th-That was…!”  Kyungsoo yelled in panic.  “That was just a line from the stupid movie!”

“Oh.” Suho cocked his head.  “So…you don’t love me?”

Chen and Baekhyun’s heads switched back and forth between the pair, eagerly awaiting Kyungsoo’s response.

“No-- Well, I mean…” Kyungsoo stammered.  Damn it, why was Suho so stupid?  What kind of person asked these kinds of questions?  Why couldn’t Kyungsoo have picked a normal person, who didn’t need every single thing spelled out for him and who didn’t embarrass Kyungsoo on a daily basis with his stupid questions because he was too stupid to see that Kyungsoo…well, you know?  Why didn’t--

“Because I do,” Suho declared.  “I’ve been thinking long and hard over our shared history, and you’ve always been the most important person in my life…other than my parents and my dog, of course.  I love you!  I can't stand being separated from you.  You’re the first person I want to tell whenever I get my test scores back, even if you never care about them…whichyoushouldbecauseIworkreallyhardonthembutanyway!  You're cute, like a baby, and it makes me want to pinch your cheeks.  And recently, I’ve been wanting to kiss you a lot because your mouth is really attractive, did you know that?  Of course, I’m not saying that I value you only for your physical appearance, because that would be superficial and—mmfff!”

Ignoring the jeers (courtesy of the equally stupid Baekhyun and Chen), Kyungsoo reeled Suho in by his uniform and kissed him, hard.  Suho’s surprised yelp morphed into a sigh, and he pushed his arms under Kyungsoo’s to hug him tighter.  The box spilled to the floor, revealing carrot hearts.

“Okay, I’m going to throw up…”

“Goblinscape was seriously not worth this…”

Ignoring the much unappreciated commentary, Kyungsoo enthusiastically Suho’s equally enthusiastic tongue.  He tried to ignore the extremely inconvenient feelings that were threatening to burst out of his chest.  Suho seemed to understand him though, because he immediately caught Kyungsoo in an embrace once they’d separated.

 “So, um,” Suho mumbled into Kyungsoo’s neck.  “Does that mean you love me too…?”

“It means,” Kyungsoo sighed.  “That you’re really stupid.” 

“I AM NOT—“  Suho pulled back and opened his mouth to protest, and Kyungsoo slapped a hand over it. 

“Really, really stupid.”

"BUT--"

Kyungsoo did the only thing he could think of to shut Suho up.

He kicked him.