“Memories, memories with you. Pain is pain, the love remains.

I didn’t have a change to be in pain. Although I let you, although you left me

Happy memories of us are endless and still remain”

 

Your alarm blasted you awake, but you made no effort to turn it off, instead you began humming along to it. “While Laughing…”-Shinhwa. The song had brought you comfort for years so you set it as your alarm recently with the thought that it would do a better job at waking you up. But before you had your fill with the song, it turned off abruptly. 

“Why did you set your alarm on so early, it’s only five.”

You heard a mumble beneath you.

You let out a whine, ignoring his comment and pushed yourself up to greet the piercing cold morning. You trudged your way to the bathroom downstairs to wake yourself up. Turning on the dim lights, you took a look at yourself. “God, you look terrible.” you muttered to yourself.

 

Your face was puffy from the night before and your hair was tangled in all directions. It was as if someone had used a pitchfork to pitch up some hay but raked up your hair instead. Dumping your whole face into the sink as the water ran out of the tiny pipe you began to vigorously scrub down the morning scent. You looked down in disappointment at your day-old clothes and threw your sweatshirt back over and stepped back into the living room.

You looked over at the couch and couldn’t help but giggle, Jonghyun had fallen back asleep lying flat on his stomach and squishing half of his face into the plush of the arm. Walking over to him you carefully lifted his head so he could continue sleeping parallel to the couch. “You’re going to get a cramp in your neck if you keep sleeping like that stupid,” you whispered softly.

“Even worse, his cervical vertebrae would have snapped if he slid down any lower than he was.” Jinki said laughing as he walked down the stairs.

You flashed him an amused smile, “Did my alarm wake you up?”

He started to hum the tone of the song then shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know did it?”

Embarrassed you apologized for disrupting him.

“It’s fine, it’s a good song but it’s too sad for my taste to wake up to that’s for sure.”

“It brings me comfort,” you said as you got up onto your feet. You grabbed your bag and started walking towards the door, “I’m going to go to school, thanks for letting us crash here and everything else you’ve done.”

He smiled and ruffled your hair. “I’ll drive you; I live farther away from your school than you think.”

“It’s fine, I need some time to myself. Tell Jonghyun bye for me.” You thanked him again and proceeded to step outside.

“Wait, catch!”

You turned around just in time to catch a brown bag.

“What’s this?”

His gaze shifted towards Jonghyun, “He made it for you last night, stay safe at school!”

You gave an appreciative smile and waved good-bye to Jinki before closing the front door.

 

Once outside your mind began to swarm with snapshots of the dream.

 

“Stop it,” you whispered to yourself.

 

But as you continued to walk down the streets your mind re-painted out the scenes of the dream, everywhere you turned you saw your dad running.  “Go,” a voice in your head commanded. Before you had time to think your feet began to lift up and you were sprinting. Shadows flashed around your peripheral vision.

 

“I said stop it! I didn’t ask for any of this!” You screamed into the sky.

 

A black mist passed laughing and slowly your mind began to clear. You sat down on the floor breathing heavily, “am I crazy?” You asked myself as your tried to regain your strength.

 

You managed to walk yourself into a little café near the school, with the hood of your sweater slipped over your head to cover your appearance you sat in the only empty table left. The noise of the busy café slowly began to relax your breathing.

 

After waiting a few more minutes you glanced towards the school building and noticed kids began to pile in, you let out a sigh and walked back out into the frosted air. Halfway there your phone began to vibrate.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Did you read my message?” a sleepy voice asked.

You smiled; Jonghyun’s raspy voice sent a spark of electricity through you.

"What message?"

"In the brown bag, read it before you head into class."

"Mm, about that, thank you."

"Seo-yeon ah."

"Jonghyun ah."

He chuckles at my response.

"What is it?" You prompted him.

"Don't set your alarm so loud, you'll go deaf."

You let out an exasperated sigh, "don't remind me, my left ear already rings." 

“Of more the reason to tone it down a little, I probably busted my eardrum with one listen.”

Your cheeks burned, “sorry, I’ll keep that in mind tonight.”

“Where are you?”

“Five steps away from the entrance to prison,” you responded as you looked up at your school that loomed over you.

“I’ll see you when your sentence is over,” he jokes.

“Very funny, I have to go unless you want me to be late and ruin my two day streak of arriving on time.”

“Bye sweetheart.”

 “Good-bye,” you tried to hold in your smile but you couldn’t, the grin was too wide.

There was a minute left before the first bell rang so you slipped into the bathroom and pulled out the note from inside the bag:

            “During this breathless day, even if there is no place to rest, never become weak. Don’t let today pass without accomplishment. Smile, I’m taking you to the gym.”

You re-read the last line again, excuse him?

You sent him a quick text before you entered my first period:

“You know the note could have been fine without the last sentence. Do I look that bad?”

The only response you got back was:

“Shh…go to class, your two day streak is on the line.”

“Right, the two day streak,” you muttered.

You made a quick prayer to whoever cared to listen and rushed into class.

-:-:-:-:-

Solitary. 
It had been two and a half months since you began the new semester at the new school and the feeling of having no one there actually began to feel nice. You didn't have to worry about pointless dramas that revolved around one topic: relationships. Of course you missed having friends to sit with, to talk with, to eat with, and to not worry if someone were to jump you from behind. But, you were fine. It wasn't like you and your friend were going to see each other anymore often, she was going to a different country to study, you on the other hand, broke and broken, was going to stay. 

If you didn’t spend time at home it was at the library, it was essentially your second home. You had been researching the past month on available jobs, if you didn’t find one soon you would have to have called it quits on thinking about extending your education, but luckily you found a daycare that was accepting job resumes, and before you knew it, you had completed the interview. Even better, you received a reply that you were able to begin working Monday, having Friday as your introduction day. You didn’t tell anyone of course, if you had a chance of not being accepted you didn’t want anyone to know but yourself. Failure wasn’t exactly something you would want to be broadcasted. 

 

You smiled and let out a sigh of relief, “eight more months and you’re out of here. Hang in there.” You balled up both of your fists to encourage yourself onwards. You exited out of the browser and made your way out the back door of the library. You cut through the field with high hopes that no one would see you and ran the rest of the way home. You blew a kiss into the air as soon as you opened my door, “thank you for letting me live for another day," you stated appreciatively that no trouble came my way.

Without a second thought you rushed into the bathroom, you needed a shower, badly. The stench you had carried through the day was unbearable. Your phone screen lit up as you walked out of the shower, the name “종현” made an appearance:

"So...the gym."

You groaned, "What is it with the gym?"

“Relax, I just thought it would be fun to work-out together.”

You lifted the phone away from your ear and stared at the screen, as if he was going to be able to see your expression, “our definition of fun was obviously explained differently.”

He laughs, “I’ll be over in a few minutes, don’t think about backing out!”

“I just showered!” You complained, but the call ended.

You didn’t bother to get ready, instead you locked yourself in your room and sprawled yourself onto my bed. It wasn’t long after that your phone blinked awake again, but you choose to ignore it knowing that he had arrived.

“Open the door,” you heard him through your window.

“You have the keys don’t you?” you shouted back at him.

Seconds went by and silence filled the air around you. Then a soft thumping sound vibrated the outside wall of your room, “What in the, Jonghyun get down you’re going to break your neck!” you screamed at him. He had begun to climb the concrete slab of your wall while hanging off of the oak tree.

“Shh move out of my way unless you want me to jump onto you.”

You watched him as he swung his way into your window and tumbled onto the soft rug that spread over top your carpet.

“You know, a normal person would have told me that they didn’t bring the keys with them instead of climbing up a two-story building and flinging themselves into a window.”

“I like to be adventurous,” he simply stated.

He got up from the floor and wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss onto your forehead, “someone doesn’t seem happy to see me.”

You returned his hug, “You are practically dragging me to a gym because you thought it would be quote on quote, fun.”

He smiled into your hair, “I thought? I know it’s going to be fun.”

“I have an anatomy test tomorrow.”

“Come on,” he whined, “it’s not like I asked you to come camp the rest of the night at the gym, it’ll only take one or two hours.”

“If I don’t get a passable score tomorrow…”

“You’ll pass, I’ll help you study.”

The thought of using him as your human mannequin came highly amusing to you.

"Deal."

-:-:-:-:-

He had spent the first ten minutes filling out a membership form for you and the next thirty minutes he basically gave you a tour of each machine. The words went in one ear and out the other, the main point to you was how to operate a treadmill and you were good to go. You left him lifting weights and proceeded towards the army row of treadmills. You switched the channel displayed on the television to a cooking show and plugged in your headphones to listen to music. You had blocked out the background and was completely absorbed in the new choice of dishes that the chef was preparing and was utterly startled when you felt your legs slowing down as the treadmill turned off.

"Let's go home," Jonghyun said.

"I was just getting into the next dish, he was in the middle of cracking the egg," you protested while ripping off one of your earphones, completely out of breath.

"You can search it up later, YouTube it I bet it's on there. Come on," he said pulling me along.

"What's with the sudden rush?"

"I don't like the amount of stares everyone is giving you; the only one that should be allowed to check you out is me."

Despite him burning with jealously you felt a spark of excitement, "who? You mean someone actually took the time to notice me?"

"It doesn't matter, I want to go home and shower."

You started teasing him, "oh, what is this are your ears red?"

You felt his grip on your hand loosen as he turned around and pulled you towards his chest. His muscles shone under the gym lights, you felt his hands cup around your cheeks, and in one swift movement his mouth clashed onto yours.

 

 “Yeah, my ears are red, and now so are yours,” he whispers, breaking off the kiss with a smile, completely satisfied with himself.  

He hurried you along out the doors.

“What was that?” You managed to ask after you regained your senses.

“Trying to prove a point.”

“What point was there to prove? That my ears can turn just as red as yours?!”

“The point that you are mine and people should keep their stares off.”

You fell silent, his words felt extremely comforting,

“Let’s go home,” he said tugging onto your hand.

-:-:-:-:-

“The Medulla Oblongata regulates heartbeat, breathing, blood pressure, vomiting, coughing, sneezing, hiccupping, and swallowing. As the Pons functions with the medulla to regulate breathing; the reflex centers for head movements in response to visual and auditory stimuli.”

 

A bowl of half-eaten vegetable broth sat between your legs, it was way late into the night and just as promised, Jonghyun was helping you study. You lifted up the flat side of your pencil and poked the back of his neck, “supposedly located right over your spinal cord.”

It was the third time you had pointed out every part of the anatomy on him; you could close your eyes and just picture exactly where everything was located.

“Thanks for helping,” you said sleepily.

He smiled and reached for your hand, “thanks for coming to the gym with me.”

“I totally could not have lived without it,” you replied jokingly.

You leaned closer to him and rested your forehead on his chest as his arms instinctively wrapped your shoulder. Your body tensed up as you heard shuffling coming from outside of your window, laughter filled the outside air and the sound vibrated through. Jonghyun’s hand came to a halt as he perked towards the direction of the noise.

“Do you think she’s home with her mom?” You heard someone say.

“I doubt anyone is home, did you hear?  Her father left them for a girl, and her mom left her for a guy, shows how much they care.”

More laugher erupted. The name Rick echoed through your mind.

“Come on guys, we know where she lives now and she lives alone, we’ll meet back here Sunday and start the party,” Rick snickered.

The tiredness had long left you as the conversation outside continued; a wave of numbness rushed through your body. Jonghyun lifted you off of him and started to get up and walk out the door, but you pulled his hand back down. “Stay,” you pleaded softly and rested your forehead back onto its original position.

“He’s the one?”

You didn’t respond, but instead closed your eyes and absentmindedly tapped your fingers on his knee.  

“What am I going to do with you,” he sighed.

He pulled you up and sat you up against his side.

“I got a job, at the daycare,” you said, diverting the conversation, “tomorrow is my introductory day, I start Monday.”

“What are your hours?”

“I’ll find out tomorrow.”

You both fell silent and the topic of what was going to happen Sunday night was never brought up. Your mind began to wander and you felt cold to the bones, “I miss my mom,” you finally whispered, “I haven’t heard from her for a week now, what if something did happen to her, and here I am sitting totally oblivious.”

“Nothing happened to her, she’s just busy,” he reassured, “want to call her?”

You looked down towards your phone and shook your head, you didn’t have the energy or the composure to start a conversation with her, “she’ll be fine.”

‘She’s fine’, you repeated to yourself.

“Sleep, you have that exam tomorrow,” he whispered.

You snuggled deeper into his arms and allowed his warmth to embrace you, trying your best to dissipate the incoming thoughts.

 

A/N: I honestly don't know what I'm writing right now. Leave me some comments to read(: Thank you for all of your guys support, I really appreciate it!!