Suho.

Sometimes I feel like I was made to guide others, like I’m naturally a leader, someone to look up to. But sometimes I wonder what it is I’m guiding people to.

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I tied my shoelaces tights and put my jacket on. I left my wallet and phone at home, just like I always do when it’s this time of the year. I locked my door behind me and got ready to set out. This was my favourite time of the year because I got to just get away from everybody. But this year was going to be so different.

Usually on the first day of autumn, I’d wake up early and run out to the marshlands. I’d be able to just spend the whole day out there by myself. One year it was raining pretty badly, so I brought a table out with me. I was with my friend at the time, we used to go there every year. We were pretty close, and we just sat out under the table enjoying the rain in silence. It was pretty weird that we brought out a table, but it was just the first thing we could bring. It was still in the box and needed assembling, but we just carried it out there any way. He had to move away a few years ago, and it’s been a while since I last saw him. I wonder how he’s doing.

I don’t know what drew me out to the marshlands, but just something about it was great. Just being out there with the wet grounds and pale colours of autumn was just so appealing to me.

I was looking forward to this year the most because last year was 9^th anniversary. Today would be an entire decade that I would have spent going to the marshlands. I know it probably won’t happen, but I really want to see my friend again. We were really close, and I was really upset that he had to leave.

I walked out and saw that table in the same spot it’s always been. It’s sunken into the ground a little, so it would be hard to get out. But I don’t think I really want to take it out. I brushed my fingers across the top. It was old, weather worn and growing mould, but it was still a good table. I squatted and looked under the table. There were cobwebs and mould growing underneath, not really the safest place to be anymore. But it still holds the memories, that’s all that really mattered to me. I stood up and looked out across the horizon. The marshlands were really wet this year.

I love it when they’re wet, they just look so nice with the puddles everywhere. Especially when the sun is starting to set and the puddles glimmer when they catch the sunlight. I started to walk around like I always did, and looked as my footsteps rippled in the water. The colours were nice autumn colours, happy colours. Many people think that the colours of autumn are sad and depressing, but I love them. The browns and oranges are so cool, the plants are changing colours one last time before they have to hide away from the winter frosts. I walked for a very long time, mostly in circles, just too wherever I wanted to be. Sometimes I could see the table, sometimes I couldn’t. I was starting to feel the cold, so I ran around for a bit.

All the stresses of the year had been building up, but this was the time of year where I could forget everything and just run or jump or play or sleep. I could do whatever I wanted without anyone disturbing me. I ran until I found a dry patch of grass, and I flopped onto the floor. I lied down and looked at the sky, it was a beautiful pale blue. There were a lot of clouds, and I could see all their silver linings reflected in the sunlight. It was such a beautiful day to spend here, especially on the 10^th anniversary. But I always had so much fun with my friend with me, we could release all our stresses, even if it was just for that day. I really missed him.

I woke up when it was around midday, I didn’t realise I had fallen asleep until the sun was right above me, shining into my eyes. I got up and walked slowly to the table. But when I got there, I saw a chair and some books on the table. I looked around to see if there was someone else here, but I couldn’t see anyone. I took a closer look at the books on the table, they were all fables I was told as a child. I looked around again, to still see no one around. I decided to sit down and read one of them, it was about a boy with the power to swallow oceans. He could swallow all the water in the world, but he had to return it. A greedy man asked him to swallow the oceans water as he collected the fish on the ocean floor, but he went out too far and drowned when the boy had to give the ocean’s water back. It was my favourite fable when I was growing up, and I had forgotten how much I loved it. I always wanted to be the boy who could swallow water, but I never wanted to drown the greedy man, even if he was greedy. But there was one thing odd about this book, instead of the boy’s name, someone had crossed out his name and written Suho instead.

When I was younger and used to come out here with my friend, we had nicknames for each other. His name was Do Kyungsoo, but he said he wanted to be called D.O. So I called him D.O all the time, and I kind of forgot that his name was actually Kyungsoo. My name was Kim Junmyeon, so I told him my nickname should be Jun, but he said I should do something really different for fun. I thought about it for a while, and decided Suho should be my nickname. He immediately liked it, and we only called each other by our nicknames. We had so much fun together, and the best time of year for both of us was when we came out here. I showed him in middle school, and he couldn’t believe that I’d come out here by myself. But he loved coming with me, and loved him being there. The last time we saw each other was the day we brought out the table. We had so much fun that day, it was crazy. Even though it was raining and we couldn’t run around like we usually did, we sat under the table and told each other all of our secrets. We learnt a lot about each other that day, we decided that we were absolute best friends and that we should know everything about each other. But then the next day I didn’t see him, or the day after that. So I went to his house, but he wasn’t there. When I got back to my house, there was a letter under my door, from D.O. It said that he had to leave suddenly, that he was sorry for it being so sudden.

I haven’t seen him since then.

“Long time no see.”

I looked up and closed my book. It was him, he was standing there. He looked a lot older, more mature than the last time I saw him. But he still looks the same.

“What are you doing here?”

“It’s the first day of autumn, the anniversary for when you come out here. And this year is the 10^th, isn’t it?”

I nodded my head. I was so happy to see him, but I was still hurt when he left so suddenly.

“Did I pick out the right book?”

I nodded again. I didn’t want to say anything to chase him off again, but I don’t know how much he may have changed since the last time I saw him.

“I thought so. I remember you telling me you wanted to be like the boy, but I never understood why you wanted to swallow an ocean.”

He laughed a little and I smiled also. He hadn’t really changed at all.

“So why is the boy’s name crossed out, and my name here instead?”

“Well, when I had to leave, I was so sad. I was upset that I’d lose my best friend. So I bought that book, all those books actually. I had never heard those tales until you told me, and I loved hearing them. So I got them all to read when I miss you, so that I can still have my best friend.”

I stood up and smiled as I put the book on the table and looked properly at the rest of the fables. All the stories were ones that I had told him here in the marshlands. He used to sit up on the table and I’d act out the story, it was so much fun.

“I put your name in there, so that any time I felt lonely I’d see your name. It kind of reminded me to try and get back here in time for autumn.”

“Well, since you’re here…”

He smiled at me and lifted his arm. He was holding a kite.

“…And it’s the 10^th anniversary.”

“Let’s fly it!”

We ran around and played for hours, until the evening wind started to blow. We went back to the table too catch our breath and watch the sunset.

“Hurry, you can’t miss the sunset or the day’s wasted!”

“I’m coming! Just remember I’m shorter than you ok!”

We both laughed and sat up on the table together, sitting close next to each other to keep warm. The sun set, and it was the perfect finish to the day. After we sat together in the dark for a moment, I pulled out my flashlight, and lit up the table so that we could gather the books.

“Oh, this wasn’t here before, was it?”

“Hm, I didn’t bring that…”

There was a little hourglass on the table. I picked it up and looked around for a name. There was a symbol on the bottom, and it looked kind of strange.

“D.O, do you know what this means?”

He came over and looked at it, then smiled.

“He’s here.”

“Who’s here?”

“Kai.”

“What?”

He smiled and motioned for us to start walking home.

“I know you don’t go out to the marshlands until the first of autumn, but can I take you out there tomorrow? I need to show you something.”

“I guess, is it to do with this hourglass?”

“Yeah, he’ll probably meet us there tomorrow, after I show you.”