A soft knock on the door jostled Jonghyun out of his light sleep. He stretched, his back stiff from sleeping in the chair by his grandmother’s bed, and let out a yawn just as nurse Lee entered.

“Hi, Jonghyun,” she greeted him with a small smile.

“Hey,” he murmured sleepily.

She walked up to him and gave his hair an affectionate ruffle.

“I found something of yours,” she said and pulled his phone out of her pocket, handing it to him. “It was on your bed.”

“Oh,” Jonghyun breathed and took the phone. “Thank you so much. I was actually thinking of buying a new phone today. Guess I don’t have to.”

Nurse Lee laughed and went over to look at the machines they had hooked up to his grandmother yesterday evening since she had worsened yet again once night had fallen. From what Jonghyun could tell, her heartbeat was steady. But then again, he didn’t know how frequent the beats should be either.

Taking some notes on her clipboard, nurse Lee turned to the IV and inspected the dosage control.

“Is everything oaky?” Jonghyun asked, his voice soft and nervous.

She looked over her shoulder at him with a reassuring smile.

“Yes,” she answered. “It’s just a routine check-up.”

Swallowing harshly, he nodded and grimaced, his neck sore from the angle his head had hung in while he slept. Nurse Lee frowned at him.

“You really should sleep in the bed,” she advised. “Your body won’t get sufficient rest otherwise.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jonghyun mumbled.

She gave him an unamused look, but turned her attention back to the IV. He watched her work in silence, glancing at his grandmother, who was still peacefully sleeping, from time to time.

“There was something else I wanted to tell you,” nurse Lee said once she was done with the check-up and stood beside him again. Her face scrunched up as she thought. “But I can’t remember. There was so much happening yesterday.”

Jonghyun smiled weakly.

“Well, I have nowhere else to be at the moment,” he joked. “So you could always come tell me when you do remember. Are you perhaps getting old, nurse Lee?”

She swatted at his shoulder, but smiled and rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

“Come eat lunch with me later if you want,” she said. “I get my break at one.”

Jonghyun nodded and she ruffled his hair again before she left.

He let out a heavy sigh when the door closed behind her and looked down at his phone. He tried to wake it up, but it remained black. Sighing again, he stood up and rummaged through his bag for the charger. He always had one with him because of the many nights he spent at the hospital, and he hadn’t taken it out of the bag yet after he’d lost his phone.

It took a few seconds for it to charge enough to start up again, but when it did it vibrated constantly with unread messages and missed calls. He grimaced at it, picked it up and scrolled through his missed calls first.

Most of them were from his parents, a few from Kibum and one from Jinki. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Jinki's name and he checked the date and time. It had been just one and a half hour after his falling out with Minho. Had Jinki known? Had he called to ask for Jonghyun's point of view?

He decided not to dwell on it. He needed to forget about Minho, and to do that he also had to forget Jinki. For a little while at least. It felt unfair, as Jinki was a good friend, but he couldn’t deal with being around someone so close to Minho at the moment.

He checked his messages next. Again, most were from his parents and Kibum, but there was a number he didn’t recognise as well and he frowned. He’d received it just thirty minutes ago and he opened it curiously, wondering who it could be and what they wanted.

His breath caught in his throat as he quickly scanned the – rather lengthy – text and his eyes fell to the bottom, where it had been signed with a name.

Taemin's mother, Park Jieun

He read the text again, more thoroughly this time.

Hello Jonghyun,
I thought about what you said and I really would like to know how Taemin’s recovery is coming along. It’s been a few days since we met, and I hope he has gotten better. I won’t pretend I’m entitled to everything, or even anything, regarding Taemin, as I gave up that right when I gave him up for adoption to the Chois, though he’s been on my mind ever since. Please just tell me if he will live.
Sincerely,
Taemin's mother, Park Jieun

Jonghyun read and re-read the text, his lips curling into an unconscious smile and his chest warming. He quickly tapped the box to type a reply. He told her how, for a moment, there had been little hope of him ever recovering but that just yesterday afternoon he’d regained consciousness somewhat and was on his way to recovery.

“Jonghyun,” came a raspy whisper and his head snapped up to look at his grandmother. “When did you arrive?”

He smiled and pressed send before pocketing his phone and taking a seat in the chair by her bed again.

“Yesterday afternoon,” he answered. “You’ve been sleeping for nearly eighteen hours.”

He left out the part where her heart had stopped for a second in her sleep and all hell broke loose, that she had been sleeping so long because of the new medicine they had given her after the CPR. He’d never been so scared in his life, but he decided he wouldn’t let her know any of it and continue as if nothing was wrong. After all, if she believed she would be okay, then it would help her recover faster, right?

His grandmother frowned at the new machines in the room but she didn’t say anything.

“Do you want to watch TV?” Jonghyun asked. “I’ve got the entire day off.”

A sceptic look came his way. He ignored it in favour of reaching for the remote and turning the TV on, settling on some documentary about bees.

Jonghyun could barely watch it, keeping an eye on his grandmother the entire time. She had raised half of her bed so she was sitting, her eyes half lidded but focused on the screen.

He had to swallow several times so he wouldn’t just outright start bawling. She looked so frail and tired and he had no way of helping her. Helplessness carved out his chest and left an empty cage. He couldn’t feel his broken heart anymore. He couldn’t feel anything actually, numb with fear and desperation.

The entire day was spent in silence, his grandmother too tired to really do anything and Jonghyun had given up on trying to act like everything was fine after he had received a reprimand for lying to her. He still didn’t tell her anything about how he was feeling. She seemed to understand how close to tears he had been the entire day and didn’t probe.

Instead they sat holding hands, Jonghyun's thumb rubbing gentle circles into her dry skin, and watched the sky outside change colour from clear blue to orange, pink and yellow, to deep blue sparkled with twinkling stars.

His grandmother had lowered the bed some time ago and dozed off every now and then. Jonghyun thought she had fallen asleep at last, so it surprised him when she finally spoke.

“I know I have little time left,” she said softly and Jonghyun pressed his lips together to keep from protesting or arguing or just outright screaming. “But I’ve lived my life, Jonghyun. I have no regrets; so don’t be sad to see me go. It won’t do you any good.”

He had to swallow a few times before answering her.

“But I’ll miss you,” he whispered, his voice thick with tears. “Mom will miss you.”

His grandmother smiled weakly.

“Of course you will,” she answered. “But life goes on and I’ll be a memory you always keep with you. Nothing lasts longer than memories, not even life itself.”

Jonghyun managed a wobbly smile at her.

“You’re so poetic,” he laughed and sniffled at the same time.

Her smile widened and she pulled at his hand gently. Jonghyun got the message and climbed onto the bed, laid down beside her and let himself be enveloped in her arms. She kissed the top of his head, then leaned her cheek on it.

“I love you very much, child,” she said. “And I know you have a great life ahead of you, for you are kind and just.”

He didn’t answer her, because those personality traits were exactly what had landed him with a broken heart. But he didn’t want to dampen her mood, so he snuggled closer to her and hugged back.

“I love you, too,” he whispered.

Within seconds, they were asleep and Jonghyun felt a strange, calm serenity. It was weird, as it was such a juxtaposition to the inner turmoil he had experienced the entire day.

A loud, monotone beep woke him up the next morning and the world tilted on its axis as the room filled with doctors and nurses, pulling Jonghyun off the bed and swarming around his grandmother.

~*~

Minho paused outside Taemin's room, nervous. He was suddenly afraid of what he would find on the other side. What if Taemin had slipped back into a coma?

He scoffed at himself and determinedly pushed the door open. If that were the case, the hospital would have called.

Taemin's eyes were open when he entered and Minho faltered a little as he approached the bed. He didn’t seem aware of his presence, his eyes trained on the ceiling, unfocused and far away. Minho cautiously continued toward his destination and sat on the chair gingerly, keeping a close eye on Taemin's face for any sign of recognition. There was none and he sighed.

“Hi Taemin,” he greeted softly.

A jolt went through Taemin's body and his eyes found Minho, confused and disoriented. Minho met his gaze steadily, trying to be an anchor to the real world for him. Taemin stared and stared and stared, barely blinking, and he seemed no less confused than he had before. Minho took the opportunity to study him, checking for any signs he might be fully comprehensible soon or if he was close to another coma.

A little colour had returned to Taemin’s face, although he was still extremely thin as he couldn’t eat proper food yet and had been skinny to begin with. His eyes were still the same intelligent, clear brown they had always been, but it was a little muted. And there was something else about them Minho couldn’t put his finger on. It itched insistently at the back of his mind and he tried desperately to scratch it, but he couldn’t find the right spot – or in this case, thought – to make it go away.

“Well, it feels weird talking to you now when I know you’re awake but unsure if you understand me,” he admitted with a small smile. “I just came to say a quick hello and check this wasn’t just all a dream. My work starts soon, but I’ll be back this afternoon so don’t worry. I think mom and dad will be here too by then, and maybe Jinki-Hyung.”

Taemin's eyelids began to droop and Minho reached out to grab his hand. Taemin squeezed back weakly and Minho's smile widened.

“I’ll see you later,” he murmured. “Sleep well.”

He stayed for a few more minutes, watching as Taemin's breaths evened out and deepened. His hand slackened in Minho's grip and the beep of the heart monitor slowed.

After another moment of watching him sleep Minho stood up with a heavy sigh and headed back out the room. He glanced down the hallway and stopped as his eyes fell upon the coffee machine. Hesitating for a second, he dug into his back pocket and found some coins. He looked back up at the machine, clenched his hand around the coins, and walked over with purposeful steps.

His heart gave a painful beat when he glanced at the ugly green couch where he first had met Jonghyun and he turned his back on it, his jaw clenched against the twinge of guilt and sadness in his chest.

He popped some coins in the machine, pressed the ‘hot chocolate’ button and waited as it whirred to life and began pouring the drink into a paper cup. Once it was done he carefully took it, almost reverent. He stared down at the contents for a moment, watching the milk swirl around the dark chocolate colour.

It hit him like a truck then.

Taemin's eyes had been the wrong colour.

Minho let out a strangled sound and sat down on the couch.

The colour Minho had looked for, the colour, which had given him comfort, was the deep brown, chocolate irises Jonghyun had. Not the clear, sharp eyes of Taemin. He took a few deep breaths, his eyes wide, and he stared at the liquid in astonishment.

Then he shot to his feet again and, abandoning the drink on the floor, he ran to the stairs, ignoring the disapproving looks from nurses and doctors. He prayed to every deity he knew that Jonghyun was at the hospital. He needed him. There hadn’t been anything he had ever needed more. Not even Taemin, he realised. Because as much as he had been an idiot and jerk, he had finally realised Jonghyun was it. The one.

He rounded the corner to the fifth floor and skidded to a stop, his heart going cold and dropping to his feet.

Jonghyun was crying.

He was sobbing loud enough for it to reach Minho, desperately clutching onto Kibum, who had his arms around him in a tight embrace, murmuring something in his ear. The nurse Minho had met last time he’d been to the fifth floor approached them, looking concerned. She said something Minho couldn’t hear which had Jonghyun hiccupping and burying his face deeper into Kibum's shoulder and Kibum shook his head, his face grim. She gave a small nod and left in Minho's direction, which in turn made Kibum's eyes fall on him.

His already dark expression darkened further and his glare was scathing. Minho pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. He couldn’t approach them. Something bad had clearly happened and, judging by last time, Kibum would be even less inclined to let him near Jonghyun now when he was clearly in deep grief.

Taking another deep breath, he forced himself to turn and walk away, though every cell in his body screamed at him to turn back and pull Jonghyun into his arms, hold him close and safe and warm the way he himself had been held by him. It physically hurt he couldn’t be with him at the moment and he vowed to himself that he would salvage whatever he could of his relationship with Jonghyun, just so he could protect him when he needed it.

A/N: Heeey :) So, this chapter is a little shorter, but all the more angsty... sorry... and I haven't had the energy to answer your comments, but I read all of them and thank you everyone

I hope it wasn't too much angst and I promise it'll get better. Just be patient >_<

So, love and rainbos and all that!

Bye~!