proximity alert (written by yehetno for ilivefororeos)

slight!angst/fluffy KenBin

Hongbin really shouldn’t have chosen to study in the living room, especially on a Saturday night.  In retrospect, he didn’t know what he had been thinking.  His roommate, Jackson, would go missing from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning in the pursuit of hookups and free drinks.  Hongbin usually left him to his own destructive devices until Jackson woke up Sunday afternoon begging for a glass of water to put a dent in his hangover.   Despite the fact that he and Jackson weren’t terribly involved with each other’s personal lives, Hongbin had noticed Jackson’s partying hours had been shortening.

Hongbin expected Jackson to stumble in around two in the morning, not shortly after nine and certainly not with another person.

Sharp giggling from outside the door should have clued Hongbin into the situation.  It took Jackson a moment too long to open the door, and the pair stumbled in while exchanging heated kisses while trying to navigate the small minefield of shoes in the foyer of the apartment.

The moment rendered Hongbin unable to speak or even move.  He watched as Jackson backed into the table, eliciting another round of giggles that gave his kissing partner a moment to look around and spot Hongbin staring at them from the couch.  Jackson followed his line of sight after the man stiffened and cursed under his breath.

“Hongbin.  Y-you are here.” Jackson sputtered awkwardly.  (It occurred to Hongbin at that very moment that Jackson didn’t know Hongbin’s aversion to parties and large social settings kept him in the apartment during the weekend.)

Among the thoughts racing through his head, only one had the most logical course of action for Hongbin.  He placed an index card in his textbook to mark the page and slammed the book shut.  He gathered all of his things, shoving them into his messenger bag hastily, not even giving a thought to the disorder it would cause amongst his notes. He bolted to his feet, slinging his bag over his shoulder and marching past his roommate and his guest.  He slipped his shoes on, grabbed his keys off their peg, and left without so much as a word.

“I’m sorry!” Jackson yelled as Hongbin closed the door behind him.

Hongbin almost cried on his way to library.  Hongbin was already picking apart the interaction in his head, as he was often prone to do.  He probably should have said something; his actions must have made his feelings about the situation perfectly clear.  Sometimes Hongbin hated himself; he didn’t control his anxiety very well.  More often than not his anxious tendencies in social situations only confirmed his anxiety-fueled fears.  He had every reason to be self-conscious; every single thing he did was awkward and stilted.  Once his heart was done pounding from surviving an interaction, he remembered every single thing that he did wrong.  The most minor of flaws quickly overshadowed any feats that Hongbin might have accomplished.  Suffice it to say, Hongbin was more of a glass half empty person.

He waved at the librarian behind the main desk.  Hongbin had no clue how Taekwoon always ended up with the least desirable shift for university students, but Hongbin always saw him behind the main desk on weekend nights.  He was actually pretty nice, even if his general demeanor was prickly.  Their conversations were fairly sparse, what with Hongbin trying too hard to formulate perfect sentences and Taekwoon’s affinity for silence.

Taekwoon offered a nearly imperceptible nod.  It was a warm gesture for him.

Hongbin wove through book stacks to find the rows of tables.  He sat at the first completely empty table he saw.  There were a number of other students scattered throughout the study area, an impressive number for the time of day and the day of the week.

While he was quietly unpacking his bag, Hongbin glanced up.  In that flicker of a moment, he caught a glimpse of one of the most stunning people he’d ever laid eyes on.  His eyes stole another glance before he could think about the repercussions of being caught staring.  A pen was caught between the man’s pink lips as his eyes scanned the pages of a notebook.  His hair was dyed a soft brown, and he was using his hand to keep the tips of his hair out of his face.

It was only when someone crossed into his field of vision that he realized he had been staring.  Hongbin opened up his textbook to the page where he placed his makeshift bookmark.

He stole one more glimpse at the man across from him.  He had company now, and the pen was being waved around in his hand.  The man wore a smile now, and Hongbin melted a little.

Hongbin shook his head as he dove back into his textbook.  Somehow, it was much harder to get back into film theory after spotting a man that possessed the looks of an actor.  His heart thundered as it cycled the blood in his body at an alarming rate, as if being in the same building as such a beautiful man the oxygen out of his blood and lungs.  He reread the same page four times before someone knocked on his table as if it were a door.

Hongbin jerked his head up in time to see the man on his mind sliding into the seat directly opposite of him on the other side of the table. 

“Hi there.” He began, as if he already knew Hongbin.  “Do you have a piece of gum?”

“Yes.” Hongbin’s voice cracked with nervousness.  His tongue felt like lead in his mouth, and Hongbin knew that he wouldn’t be able to properly communicate with a man that had the face of an angel. It didn’t even occur to him that lying would shorten their interaction considerably.

His lips quirked into the wide smile, “Can I have a piece?”

Hongbin blinked slowly before moving into action, rooting through his bag to find his pack of spearmint gum.  If he remembered correctly, he had one and a half pieces left.  Once his fingers found purchase on the flimsy cardboard packaging, he his arm toward the face of perfection across from him.

He chuckled at Hongbin’s nervousness, mistaking it for enthusiasm, “Thank you.  I’m Jaehwan, by the way.” He introduced himself as he pulled out the full piece of gum.

Hongbin found himself unable to respond.  His name sat on his tongue, unwilling to venture past the seam of Hongbin’s lips in spite of the fact that he wanted nothing more than for Jaehwan to know his name.

Jaehwan raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response that Hongbin physically couldn’t give.  The silence dragged on for too long, each second signifying a moment that Hongbin couldn’t breathe.  Jaehwan gave up after 30 seconds of unbearable silence.  “Well, thanks.” He said in a tight voice, sliding the pack of gum back to Hongbin.

He got up out of the seat, offering Hongbin a small wave before returning to his table where his acquaintance sat.  A man with orange hair had borne witness to their moment of awkwardness, a fact that made Hongbin want to die.  He couldn’t even slam his face into his textbook because Jaehwan might see him taking his embarrassment out on his film theory textbook.

+

Hongbin sat at the dining room table, drinking a mug of tea while flipping through the channels on the TV.  The angle of the screen was awkward because of the distance between the living room and the dining room, but Hongbin wasn’t willing to risk spilling his tea all over the carpet just for a better view of things he didn’t care about.  (It had happened on three separate occasions, and Hongbin had learned his lesson.)

The front door swung open, and an overly chipper voice screamed, “HONGBIN, I’M HERE!”

Hongbin groaned internally.  Cha Hakyeon might have been one of his best friends, but sometimes he was just too much.  Hakyeon went straight to Hongbin upon entering his apartment, hugging him regardless of the difficulties and Hongbin’s uncooperativeness.

Jackson came in behind Hakyeon, closing the door quietly before setting an apology cupcake in front of Hongbin.  He took a seat at the table with a strained smile, waiting to commence   formal apology when Hakyeon was done being affectionate.

Once Hakyeon finally took a seat next to Hongbin, Jackson began to speak, “Hongbin, I’m really, really sorry that I brought someone back to the room without checking with you first.”

Hongbin shrugged, peeling back the liner on the cupcake.  There was an upside to being cast out; after all, he did meet Jaehwan.  He had someone to fantasize about, knowing that it would never go anywhere.  “What’s his name?” Hongbin inquired, wondering who was worth bringing to the apartment.

“Choi Youngjae.” Jackson cracked a smile, “He’s a music theatre major.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” Hakyeon interjected.  Another thing about Hakyeon, he needed to know anything and everything that could be perceived as gossip.

“Not quite.  I mean I want him to be.”

Hongbin stopped focusing on the conversation at that point.  His cupcake was far more interesting.  Jackson had chosen his little bribe for forgiveness well, a moist yellow cake topped with thick chocolate frosting.  The ratio between frosting and cake was downright heavenly.

Hakyeon briefly mentioned something about dating someone name Wonshik.  Hongbin saved that for reference because he was confident that some time in the near future Hakyeon would be sobbing over their failed relationship.

“Oh and Hongbin, you’re coming out to a party with me.”  Hakyeon mentioned suddenly.

“Mwh?” Hongbin mumbled through a mouthful of cupcake.  A party sounded like the worst thing possible.  (Plus, Hakyeon knew very well about Hongbin’s feelings on interacting with strangers.)

“I’ll be meeting Wonshik’s friends for the first time, and I told him that I’d bring some of mine along.” Hakyeon declared matter-of-factly.  “Don’t worry, Taekwoon will be there.  He’ll have just as little to contribute to the conversation as you.”

Hongbin’s stomach flooded with dread.  The brief moment of happiness the cupcake gave him crumbled at the very thought of sustaining interactions with strangers.  It was bound to leave him exhausted and exhausted.

+

Hongbin took three calming breaths walking toward the front door of the enormous house that Hakyeon claimed belonged to Wonshik.  It was his fourth try down the concrete path, and each time he got a little bit closer to the front door before he whipped around and made a beeline to his car.

Hongbin slapped himself lightly on the cheek.  He needed to pull himself together.  It would be fine.  It already felt like a lie, but he could do