"so you take another hit and sink into a whisky flavored kiss because he is not there to tell you no."

credit to this prompt.

pairing: yoonmin

warning: mention of death

yoongi isn't here anymore, is the first thought that registers in jimin's mind as soon as he opens his eyes. even when the blanket still smells of rainy days and salty tears. the memories of them kissing in this bed still remains etched inside his mind, his every movement.

he shifts, and the warmth of the person beside turns into everlasting cold. throaty laughs and fingers on his skin diffuse together into nothing with the air.

it's dark outside, he notices, and the volume is slowly increasing as cars fill the roads, people crowd the streets. if yoongi were here beside him, he'd have grunt a little at the noises and snuggle closer to jimin as he pulls them both deeper under the cozy cover.

but that is another story, because yoongi is dead. gone from this world, waiting for jimin probably where he is now. no matter how desperate jimin wants to reunite with the boy of his love again, the memory of that promise keeps him on his feet every time.

it was a snowy day that day. jimin just finished school and hurried directly to the hospital, almost toppling over his own feet on the way. in his hands, he had yoongi's favorite food, cold noodles. the boy opened the room's door to find yoongi sitting up weakly, looking paler than ever.

"hyung." he was alerted, suddenly aware of how fragile yoongi had become under a short while.
the smile yoongi gave him looked everything but natural.

"i'm fine kid." but jimin couldn't possibly ignore the trembling at the end of every word.
however he settled down with "i bought noodles" and it was just like any other afternoon spent in this white room again, except for the fact that yoongi did try to have a conversation with jimin somewhere after.

"hey."

"hm? do you need something?"

"no." yoongi's hand found his slowly. "just, i want you to promise me one thing."

jimin could promise yoongi the stars and the distance between them and eternity.

"don't come find me so soon after i'm gone."

and jimin found himself speechless, unable to utter a word.

yoongi died exactly two weeks after the promise was made. sometimes when he thinks about it, he hates himself for not having said anything. now bound to a promise, jimin can't do anything but trying to survive another day while longing to somewhere else entirely different.

if people are to ask him who yoongi was, they would have gotten to hear about stories of rainy days in the studio, evenings with popcorn and pillow fights and a boy who loved music and park jimin more than himself. then jimin would have shown them the songs yoongi composed as he tries hard not to burst into tears. the lyrics speak of love with no boundaries; about a boy who loves dance and min yoongi more than anything else in this world. the world is cruel, jimin realized that when yoongi trudged home one afternoon and cried into his shoulder until he fell asleep. too cruel for someone as kind-hearted as yoongi to be living in, was jimin's excuse every day afterwards.

when yoongi left, he took with him a part of jimin unknowingly.

still lost in old memories and emotions, jimin exits the apartment he and yoongi once lived in together and finds himself wandering aimlessly along the streets. he only stopped upon reaching a well-known club. to jimin, this place has so much stored of him and yoongi than any other places can ever have. things such as first encounter, first smile, first confession and first kiss.

the bartender gives him a smile of recognition when jimin sits down at the bar.

"the usual?" he asks, or rather shouts over the deafening music.

jimin returns the smile earlier on; this time more like a turn of lips.
"where's the guy who is always together with you?"

shocked, jimin pauses in the middle of a sip. the quivering of his hand won't stop and the breathing becomes more unsteady.

"not your ing business." he grits out between clenched teeth and makes his way towards the dance floor. tonight, he's determined to dance all his pain away. after a while, two arms suddenly encircle his waist to lie at his hips. the stranger smells of rainy days and min yoongi, and jimin can't contain himself enough to take those hands off his body. moreover, he is under the influence of alcohol and it just makes the matter worse.

"hello there, handsome."

god, even the voice resembles yoongi to the point of jimin going all dizzy and craving to hear more. so he turns around, to realize this man is everything but similar to yoongi. it's just the ache in his heart that has wanted something to remember - a reason to continue hanging on.

because then it dawns on jimin, no one can ever be the same as yoongi. not even one bit close.
however, when the man leans in to capture his lips, the toxics spreading through his system is already overwhelming and ready to take control over his every action. it takes him a quite moment to recall yoongi tasted of mint and just yoongi, not whiskey and vodka mixed together.

"what the do you think you're doing?" he doesn't know how long the kiss lasts, but by the time he pushes the stranger away, the latter has succeeded in roaming his hands all over jimin's body. a hiccup rises up his throat; tears forming quickly at the corners of his eyes.

so he runs away, still having the ground underneath his feet swirling around and around.

jimin makes it through the threshold before collapsing onto the hard floor. the sound of him slamming his fist onto the hard floor echoes lonely through the apartment. the sob is muffled behind shut lips.
from nowhere, a wave of nausea hits him hard and he barely gets to the bathroom in time. if yoongi is still alive, he'd scowl badly and not let jimin get out with this for a while. but yoongi would also pat his back and bring him painkillers, and then take him to bed.

alone, he is suddenly aware of the empty hole in his heart. jimin knows what happened back there is something he can't forgive himself.

jimin deserves hell, but yoongi's in heaven. and that's the difference.

yoongi isn't here anymore, is the first thought that registers in jimin's mind as soon as he opens his eyes. even when the blanket still smells of rainy days and salty tears. the memories of them kissing in this bed still remains etched inside his mind, his every movement.