"Are you sure you don't wanna come with us?" Jinki put his backpack over his right shoulder gazing at his brother who was drying his hair with his towel and sitting comfortably cross legged on the couch.

"I'm sure, hyung. I don't want to witness too much of you and Jonghyun hyung." Taemin responded putting down the damp towel on his lap.

"Did Jonghyun...?" Taemin was already laughing at the face Jinki was making. He stood up from the sofa and pushed Jinki to the door. Jonghyun was leaning against the doorframe looking so impatient. Well, he had been standing there for over five minutes now.

"We'll be back tomorrow before lunch. If you need anything, call me. If you can't contact me, ring Jjong. If he doesn't answer, call the other band memb—"

"I'll be fine, hyung. Just go." Taemin roughly pushed his shoulder that made him glare at the younger male. Jonghyun chuckled.

"Tell mom and dad that we'll come but not today. Tomorrow."

"I've already told them that. Now go. Jonghyun hyung, pull him out, please." Jonghyun nodded and grabbed Jinki's upper arm. Jinki gave up and hurriedly inserted his feet in his sneakers.

"Don't burn the apartment down!" Jinki warned him. Not that he didn't trust Taemin.

"Have fun at your outing!" Taemin waved at them.

"What did you tell him? He doesn't want to come because you told him something."

"I didn't tell him anything."

"Be honest with me."

"I didn't say anything, I swear!"

Taemin could hear them bicker as he closed the door. He shook his head and threw himself on the sofa again. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. He would changed the channel every minute and in fifteen minutes, he was already bored. Now he was thinking if he did the right thing not accepting the band's invitation to the outing. He was already thinking how fun it would be—playing all evening, going to the hot spring, eating anything they want, not getting bored.

His eyes suddenly landed on the picture frames on the shelves. He slid his legs off the couch and got up. He then walked towards the shelves and stared at the photos. He leaned over to see clearer. He was only looking at the photo of Jinki and Amber. The one that made him freeze on his first day there. Now he could look at it easily. Jinki was in a Stitch onesie while Amber was in a Pikachu onesie. They were doing a weird but adorable pose with an arm each stretched to the side and the other upward(like powerrangers). They were adorable. He assumed Amber made Jinki wear that onesie. Taemin could imagine how many ridiculous things Amber forced Jinki to do. He suddenly remembered Amber's letters. He had been reading them starting from the first letters that she decided not to send him. He wished he could read the first ones. He wished his mother didn't throw them away so maybe that could be a good reason to forgive them.

He grabbed the box that was sitting beside his bed and took it out to the living room. He stooped down on the floor and adjusted a little to find a comfortable position. Afterwards, he finally took out a letter(he finished reading those of the year 2011 and he was on the first letters of 2012) and began reading. All Amber wrote was how he felt alone and lonely without Jinki around and of course without him around. Some of the letters had photos in it. She also talked about Jonghyun and how odd he was and how she couldn't understand why Jinki would befriend someone so different from him, someone who was completely his opposite. She was basically redundant most of the time because nothing new was happening to her but at the same time, she tried to write different things, like maybe some new phrases or proverbs that she newly memorized. And the new Korean meals she just learnt(she said she had been learning because Jinki wasn't there to cook for her anymore and she wanted to cook for Taemin once he comes back). Most of her letters seemed bright and positive, rare did she write about sad things. Taemin would know she was sad while writing whenever there were smeared words or if she started with something like "I dreamt of you". They were always nightmares.

He stopped reading when he heard the sudden downpour outside the slightly opened window. He looked outside. It was a really heavy rain. He wished it was snowing. Although he hated the cold weather, he liked the snow. But he guessed it was still too early for the snow to come. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was quarter to seven. He read for nearly three hours. But at least it didn't bore him. He really liked reading all Amber's letters with her voice in his mind as if it was her that was reading them for him.

How is she? He wondered stretching his legs out and leaning his head backward closed eyed. She probably hates me right now. He groaned because he knew he messed up again. He always did. But he knew, this time, he could correct his mistakes. He could do anything now that he learned the truth.

He had pizza margherita for dinner since he couldn't and he wasn't allowed to touch the hub or anything that produced heat or fire in the kitchen. He couldn't even boil some water for some instant noodles. Jinki trusted him, but not in any kitchen stuff.

He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket but he never looked at it and just let it pass. His biological parents had been calling since that morning but he had also been ignoring them. He thought it was alright to be mad at them. Well, he wasn't even that mad. He was just a little disappointed that his parents acted that way, perhaps, out of frustration. He wanted to make things pass. He'd eventually call them himself when he's ready.

He later pondered if Amber was ready to talk to him. Sure, it had only been a few days since the scene he made, but he really wanted to see her and apologize. Seeing her would be enough even if she doesn't forgive me. He said in his mind lying on his stomach on the sofa and taking out his phone from his pocket. He stared at Amber's number on the screen. He wanted to call her but he wasn't sure if it was the right time. His right thumb was ready to press her number but, of course, he was hesitant, like there was some kind of force that was stopping him. Well, it was just his mind telling him not to. But his heart was pushing him to do it. In the end, after ten minutes of shaking his thumb, he finally pressed it against the screen.

He nervously waited for her to answer as he breathed heavily.

"Hello? Who's this?" He turned his body around and sat up when he heard her voice. He gasped.

"Hello?" She said once again but he couldn't say a word. He could just feel his mouth dry up.

"This is just a prank call, isn't it? Whoever you are, I have no time for this so I'm hangi—"

"It's me." Taemin finally spoke up. He didn't have to say his name because he knew Amber would recognize his voice. She did but this time, she was the one tongue-tied.

"Can we... can we talk?" He stammered rubbing his thigh with his trembling hand. Amber still wasn't talking. Taemin could only hear her breathing.

"It's okay if you don't want to. You're probably—"

"Sure." Taemin became even more nervous than he already was.

"Yeah? Should I go to you?"

"No. I'll be there in thirty minutes."

"But it's raining,"

"It's okay."

"Okay. See you then."

"See you."

He felt like his nerves were going to stick out and his heart was going to explode from too much anxiety. He didn't think she'd actually agree to talk to him on that exact day. He wasn't even prepared. He didn't know what to tell her. He used those thirty minutes to think but nothing entered his mind. All he thought about was her face and how she'd look at him once she was in front of him, what she'd say. He was sure she got so much to say.

He chewed on his lower lip. He was even more nervous than he thought. He breathed in deeply before he released as much air as he could. It didn't help. His heartbeat went crazy fast when the doorbell buzzed. He wasn't ready yet. He thought that he could never be ready, but she was already there at the door waiting for him to open it and he knew he shouldn't keep her waiting so he puffed out some air again as he walked towards the front door. His  hand was shaking when he touched the doorknob and turned it. Amber was standing, up and down on her toes and heels, her hands on both of her sides with one holding a soaked black umbrella from the rain.

"Um—come in." Taemin made way for her and so she entered putting down the umbrella on the side before she took off her thick coat and hang it on the hook.

"Our talk... will it take long?" Amber asked hesitant to sit down or get comfortable.

"I don't know, but, please, sit down." So Amber sat down on the sofa and, from her position, she easily spotted her box of letters that were beside the center table just inches away from her feet. She pretended she didn't notice though Taemin obviously knew she saw it.

"Hyung is with the band—"

"I know. He told me." Her voice sounded so cold. It wasn't like her at all.

A silence easily followed. Taemin looked at the time. It was nearly 9. Amber was looking at the time as well. It seemed like she didn't want to be there for too long. Even if Taemin wanted to let her go immediately, he couldn't because he still didn't know where to start or how to start his speech. He bit his lips, both lower and upper. Amber watched him as he did it. She wanted to stop him because it was unhealthy but she couldn't get herself to do it. She just shook her head bearing down her hands on the couch as she got up. If he wasn't gonna talk, she had no plans on talking either.

Taemin clasped her hand in the middle of the hall way. He couldn't let her slip away like that. He needed to figure what to say right that instant or she might never come back to him again.

"Taemin," Amber faced him lightly pulling away from his grip.

"I can't stay here with you for too long. It hurts me."

"Then just hit me," Taemin stated grabbing both of her wrists.

"Hit me then maybe it'll lessen the pain." He shortly added as he pulled up her hands leveling them to his cheeks. He straightened her hands before he slapped himself with them. Amber widened her eyes, her brows corrugated. Soon, her eyes were teary. She was fighting Taemin's urge to hit himself with her own hands.

"Stop that, Taemin, please." She begged as a tear finally dropped.

"I don't want you to beat yourself up." Amber gently cupped his face without applying any force. Then she caressed his cheeks knowing they were hurting a little. She looked deep into his eyes, he was too. They were both drowning again. Her eyes were like a river flowing to the sea. And his were like a typhoon ready to flood every city.

"I'm sorry, noona. I'm really sorry." He was getting tired of apologizing. He had been saying the same words over and over again but he didn't know what else to say. His hands were still over hers. He tilted his head a little to the side to feel her warm hands better.

"No, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." Amber kept shaking her head.

"I did everything wrong. But I'm trying to mend everything. I'm trying to mend us. I want to mend us."

"I love you, noona." He murmured almost like a whisper. Amber smiled as tears flowed down her cheeks continuously, endlessly perhaps.

Taemin panicked. Now he was the one enclosing her face with his palms as he wiped her tears with his thumbs but they just kept streaming down. He didn't know how to stop her from crying. As much as he was happy to know that they were tears of joy, he still wanted them to go away. He just wanted her smile. That would be enough. He had no other idea in his mind but kiss her. So he kissed her, his lips against her lips, this time, as softly as he could. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. Amber closed her eyes as she placed her hands on his shoulders, returning his soft kisses. She couldn't hold back anymore and neither could he. Taemin just pulled her closer, parting their lips a little for air before they met once again, the kiss even deeper than before.

Taemin then placed a hand on her waist as he led her to the bedroom, still with their lips attached, inseparable. He closed the door before placing his hand back to her waist and delicately laying her on his bed, her legs hanging on the side of the bed. They broke off their kiss but with their lips having only a centimeter distance in between. They both gasped, breathing in the air the other breathed out. Their eyes were fixed with one another, both wanting for more.

"I love you," Amber breathed and it sent chills down to Taemin's spine. It was different from reading those words in her letters. Hearing it from her was even more beautiful. Amber grinned, no more tears falling from her eyes. He blinked and before he knew it, she had pulled the back of his neck and their lips were once again fixed with each other.

They knew where everything was going when he held her hips to help her body shift on the bed as she unawarely lifted his shirt off running her hands on the small of his back.

<<< 

Amber could feel the sun ray strike her face seeping through the curtains and through the glass windows. The rain had stopped. She slowly blinked until her vision was clear. And the first thing she saw was his face, his beautiful face with his eyes opened, searching. Amber smiled as she wrapped one arm on his bare waist under the duvet they were sharing, pulling him closer.

"Morning," she mumbled, her eyes were staring back at his.

"Morning,"

"How long have you been staring?" She kiddingly asked with a silent chuckle.

"Two hours... or more. Not sure." But the way Taemin responded, she knew he was serious.

"It all still feels like a dream." He said settling his hand on her cheek, caressing it. Amber could only smile. Even for her, she felt like she was in a trance. Waking up next to him was beyond her imagination.

"Ah, but I'm not dreaming. I can feel your skin." He whispered and she hummed in agreement before she leaned forward and linked lips with him. She then buried her face in his chest feeling it raise and alight as he breathed. She could hear his heartbeat in sync with hers.

"So what does this make us?" Taemin asked though he thought it was a really stupid question but at the same time it wasn't because he really didn't know and he wanted to know so badly. Amber arched her neck backward to look at him.

"What do you want us to be?" She asked back. Anything would be alright for her.

"Is it okay if I ask you to be my girlfriend or is it too early for that?" Taemin wasn't rushing things. He had always wanted her to be his girlfriend. He didn't ask 8 years ago since he thought he was still young and it was too early. And he thought if he asked back then, she wouldn't take him seriously since he was only a kid.

"It's more than okay. I like it." Amber kissed his chin before she sank her face in his chest again.

"Does that make me your boyfriend?" Now that was sort of a stupid question. Amber only chuckled against his skin that tickled him a little.

"What time is it?" She mumbled her face still sunken in his chest.

"Seven something." It was nearly eight in the morning.

"You should sleep more. I'm just gonna shower and make you breakfast." Amber pulled her hand away from his waist but Taemin easily grabbed it obviously not wanting her to be distant from him even for a second.

"I'm not gonna leave, okay? Now sleep." She covered his eyes with her palms closing them for him and he finally let her go.

After taking a warm shower(she didn't have to search for some extra towels and toothbrush since Jinki used to hate how alone he felt after Taemin left years ago with only a towel hanging on the peg and only a toothbrush in the cup near the sink so he let Amber settle her personal things in the apartment. And she basically lived there before Taemin even came back), she went to the kitchen straightaway and started preparing their breakfast. She decided to prepare cantonese fried rice since he loved rice so much. She only hoped he'd like it.

"Taemin? Are you touching the stove?" Amber heard Jinki's voice with obvious worries. She chuckled.

"It's me, oppa." She said loud enough for Jinki to hear her and quiet enough not to wake Taemin up.

"Amber? What are you doing here?" Jinki was very puzzled seeing her in their apartment so early in the morning. He put his backpack on the seat at the table.

"Making breakfast." She half-jokingly answered.

"Let's just say Taemin and I are okay now." She shortly said when she saw Jinki's a little skeptical expression.

"We talked last night." She added though she wasn't sure if they really had the talk. But she couldn't care less. They were really okay now.

"I thought you'd arrive at lunch time so I decided to come here early to prepare breakfast for your kid brother." Amber swirled to face the hub and mixed the peas with the frying rice. She lied about being there only that morning. Jinki didn't have to know what exactly happened.

Jinki sat on a free seat still weirded by everything. There was something off, well, not exactly off but something more to Amber's explanation. He just couldn't ask her.

"Smells yummy, Amber." Jonghyun appeared behind Jinki putting his hands on his shoulders and squeezing them. Jinki looked up at him. Jonghyun was clearly confused seeing Amber there but only Jinki could tell. Amber couldn't read Jonghyun's face instead she just grinned at him and thanked him.

"Would you mind setting the table? I'll wake Taemin up." Amber turned off the hub and washed her hand.

"No, not at all!" Jonghyun answered for the both of them and started rumbling in the drawer to grab some pairs of chopsticks.

Amber walked to the bedroom and shut the door just trying to be careful for the couple not to see them. She crawled up the bed and bended forward as she kissed his forehead.

"Wake up. Your brother's back."

"Hmm."

"Dress up. Let's all have breakfast together." She whispered just behind his right ear but he only hummed in response again. She sighed in defeat and got off from the bed.

"He doesn't want to wake up."

"I'll get him." Jinki pushed back his chair and stood up.

He opened the door to Taemin's room and stopped at the door. Now he was really sure there was definitely something differently odd in the room, more specific, in the bed. Other than Taemin's crumpled shirt and pants on the back rest of the chair in the corner of the room, the bed was all messed up. Too messed up. The bed sheets were all too creased and wrinkled. And Taemin, who usually slept in the middle of the bed, was then sleeping on the left side and was evidently leaving the right side empty for someone. Lastly, Taemin was . He never slept . The boy hated sleeping shirtless or anything similar. Did they...?

"Good morning, hyung. How was the outing?" Taemin yawned after sitting up.

"Uh, it was good... Get up and let's eat." Jinki hurriedly left. He didn't wanna ask. No way he would ever discuss such thing with Taemin. His little brother was not a kid anymore and it was none of his business anyway.

Taemin looked really blissful when he got out of the room, like he really had a good night sleep and nothing could ruin his day. He really hoped nothing would ruin his day. The four of them had a wonderful breakfast together. It was still a bit awkward for Jinki but it wasn't that much noticeable since he was also very delighted to finally be in what he believed was a happy state. Taemin and Amber were smiling so genuinely, so truly. They were smiling at each other, their eyes shining brighter than the sun, sparkling like the stars. Their smiles weren't the same childish smiles like before. They were still sheepish but they were full of love. Then the love of his life was there beside him. He couldn't ask for more.

"Hyung, let's bring them with us to Gyeonggi!" Taemin cheerfully suggested as they all helped each other clear up the table.

"What?"

"Yeah, it'll be fun. Mom and dad miss Amber noona," He paused glancing at Amber who was wiping the table before he gazed back at his brother who was doing the washing up but was then looking at the younger with bubbles in his hands.

"And don't you think it's time to finally introduce Jonghyun hyung to them?"

"What?" Jinki asked again, both him and Jonghyun were a bit stunned by Taemin's statement.

"Jonghyun hyung, you wanna meet our parents, right?" Taemin turned to Jonghyun who was just beside Jinki leaning against the countertop. Jonghyun was looking at his boyfriend completely not sure of what to answer.

"Yeah, I guess, but not against Jinki's will." Jonghyun jolted a little as he wiped the bubbles off from Jinki's hands with a rag.

"But you've been together for over two years. Amber noona, you're with me on this, right?" Taemin asked for her opinion since he knew she would take his side. And she did. She agreed with a tiny nod. Jinki looked at Amber in disbelief. Amber just shrugged. She had been suggesting the same thing for a while now. She just thought that Jinki was being unfair to Jonghyun who was just being the most understanding boyfriend ever. Jonghyun did introduce Jinki to his parents(proudly, like he was showing off Jinki to his own parents, as how Jinki told Amber the the story) immediately after they had become official. Jinki was still indecisive.

"Jinki hyung, mom and dad will love you for whoever or whatever you are. They will understand." Taemin reassured with a pacified smile forming on his face.

Before he knew it, Jinki was already in his carseat turning the key to start the car. Jonghyun was timidly sitting still on the front seat next to him, Amber and Taemin were on the backseat playing with Amber's phone, probably taking photos together. He couldn't help but smile. The two were really back to normal, they were comfy and warm around each other. He looked at the man beside him. Taemin is right. He thought. For the first time, Taemin was right. He was right about presenting Jonghyun to his parents, he was right about their parents's understanding. Heck, he even thought he should've introduced Jonghyun a long time ago. He was lucky to have known the younger man, but he was even luckier to be his lover. He should be the one showing Jonghyun off to his parents.

"Mom, dad, we're here!" Taemin yelled as he dragged Amber inside their home holding her hand tightly. Amber knew exactly what was Taemin planning to do and she didn't prepare for it.

"Hold my hand?" Jinki offered his hand after Jonghyun got down from the car and closed the door. Holding Jonghyun's hand was Jinki's way of comfort, of letting him know how much he loved the younger man. It was a simple gesture and it wasn't even the sweetest but he always won Jonghyun's heart with it.

"You sure?" Jonghyun hesitated.

"Never been this sure in my whole life." Jinki wiggled his fingers impatiently waiting for Jonghyun's hand to be united with his.

"Stop Acting shy and just hold my hand." Jinki rolled his eyes. Jonghyun finally grabbed his hand and they walked in side by side. Jinki's hand was so soft and it was really comforting. But Jonghyun's hand was getting clammy  from nervousness and fear. It was even sweatier than Jinki's hand on normal basis.

When they entered, Taemin was already presenting Amber to his parents as if it was their first time meeting her. Well, technically, it was their first time meeting her as Taemin's girlfriend. Mr and Mrs Lee were a little surprised, even Jinki and Jonghyun. But it wasn't a bad kind of surprise. They were all happy for the both of them, especially for Taemin who had always wished to be with Amber. One of the reasons why mr and mrs Lee were so nice to Amber because they knew how much Taemin adored her and she was the one who always told them about Jinki when he was aloof from them.

Taemin noticed that his brother and Jonghyun were already in the same room and so he whispered to his parents "act normal". Before telling his parents about Amber being his girlfriend, he told them about Jinki's confession so they wouldn't give the same surprised expression as they just did. He wanted Jinki to trust his parents again.

"Mom, dad," Jinki pulled Jonghyun, who was hiding behind him. Jonghyun stood beside Jinki his whole body trembling.

"I'd like you to meet Jonghyun... my boyfriend." Jinki tightened his hold of Jonghyun's hand. That was his way of securing him and making him know it's alright.

"Hello, mr and mrs Lee. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." Jonghyun bowed a complete 90 degree. Mr Lee patted the side of his arm and smiled.

"So you're the one that has been taking great care of our eldest. Thank you so much." Mr Lee gave him a hearty grin and so did Mrs Lee.

Taemin finally felt complete. That was how imagined everything should and would be. And he couldn't believe it was happening. As they had their bounty meal, Taemin was picturing how nice it would be if everyday they were always like that, well, not everyday, at least every weekend. Complete and contented with obvious joy in all of their eyes. The future seemed so bright for him. And he had finally decided. He had finally made a conclusion of his trip back to where he comes from. And he was certain, sure, positive of the decision he had made.

"No, you did not."

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"I wanna read them."

Amber was just helping mrs Lee wash the dishes and put the kitchen in order earlier and when she was finally done, she spotted Taemin sitting cross legged on the side of the couch and taking out some colored papers from his bag and when she went closer, she realized they were her letters. She sat beside him grasping the envelopes from Taemin's hands but he hid them behind him. He had a cheeky smile and Amber only narrowed her eyes.

"You gave them to me so you can't take them back." Taemin said looking at the letters and thinking which one to read first. He picked one out and put the rest in his backpack pushing it far away from Amber's reach.

"Okay, but don't read it aloud." Amber gave up and just sat up straight next to him. Taemin smirked.

"Hello, Taemin-ee. How are you?" Taemin started and chuckled evilly.

"Taemin! Don't!" Amber tried to grab the scented sheet of paper from him but Taemin raised his arm in the air so Amber couldn't really reach it. But unlike earlier, Amber didn't surrender so easily. She easily thought of a great tactic of revenge. She wriggled the fingers of both of her hands and in flash she attacked Taemin's sides and tickled him. Amber overpowered him knowing his weakness although that was her weakness too and Taemin remembered so he did the same to her. The room was filled with Amber's squeals and Taemin's wicked laughter.

Mrs Lee was leaning against the doorframe as she watched Taemin and Amber banter. She suddenly felt something rest on her shoulder and when she looked at her side, she saw her eldest. She sighed in contentment before she giggled seeing Jinki's knees bended to level himself to his mother.

"Stand straight." She patted his arm and so Jinki straightened his legs. Jinki put his hand over his mother's shoulders as he looked at where his mother was looking at.

"I told him the whole truth." He murmured that made her gazed over him. She looked troubled.

"Everything's alright now. No need to worry." Jinki had a reassuring smile and it calmed his mother.

"Will he stay?" She asked but Jinki only shrugged. It was never his plan to convince Taemin to stay. He just wanted his little brother to feel at home again, to feel like he still belonged. He wouldn't get mad if he chose to go back to his parents in Japan, as long as he they cleared things out, as long as there were no lies and secrets anymore. Whatever decision Taemin had made would be alright for him and for everyone.

"Jonghyun was that boy in the army, wasn't he?" Mrs Lee changed the subject. Of course, she noticed Jonghyun whenever she visited Jinki in the army. He always followed her son around that Jinki had to shoo him away every time his parents were there. It was hard not to notice Jonghyun. It actually seemed like he always wanted to be noticed specifically by Jinki's parents. Jinki lightly nodded.

"He's good to you, right?"

"He's the best. Sorry. I should've introduced him sooner." Jinki embraced his mother from her side and kissed her forehead. She missed her eldest's warmth and his gentle hugs.

"It's okay." It really was. She was just happy that he told them about him even if it took him over 2 years. At least he was really approaching them again, he was really trusting them again.

"Where is he by the way?" Mrs Lee wanted to get to know Jonghyun better but he was no where in sight.

"Dad is asking him about his music."

"What does your dad know about rock music? He only listens to folk and trot songs." Mrs Lee said and it made Jinki laugh. It was the truth.

They didn't stay there. They went back to Seoul after having dinner since they brought Amber and Jonghyun with them. But their parents promised to come visit them.

Taemin lied on his bed and quickly closed his eyes. That day was really tiring but was also fun. He opened his eyes and stared at the white ceiling. He really hoped everything ended there. He really hoped that there wouldn't be any problem left.

He pushed his worries aside and just took his phone to call Amber. He couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to recover all the wasted and lost times, all those days and nights without her. If he could spend every single day, hour, minute, second with her, he absolutely would. If he could marry her that exact moment, he would. But he chose not to. He wasn't in a hurry anyway.

*hides from everyone because of too much embarrassment*

last chapter is coming.

I really wanna hold Onew's hand. I wanna embrace him too. He seems so cuddly, like a teddy bear.

xdorkyx

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