I hate Heechul-hyung so much that when he had locked himself at his room at random moments and especially when Hangeng-hyung had moved or when he just feel like going home and show himself, I definitely hate him for being random at times. I hate him that I want to cry when he does reckless things and I hate him even more because I just couldn't cry in front of everyone else after he punishes me with his tricks. He tortures me a lot! He pressures me that I could actually go insane. I want to bang the door and shook him and tell him along the lines: pabo! get a grip but I just couldn't do that, I hate him so much that I don't want to hurt him too, I hate him that I just couldn't shout and scream at him. I hate him that I couldn't hate him. I want him to always be the hyung because I can see him smile, I can see him laugh whole-heartedly and most of all I can see him alive, call me by irritating nicknames and play games with me. Most of all, he would shrug me, caress me with a simple, hyung's here, you'll do fine and I would smile.