I find it really hard to understand Hangeng-gege. I really couldn't understand him. I would always peek at the book I'm reading, or from the coffee mug I'm holding just to stare at him and, well, read him. He's always quiet, all alone and tags with Heechul-hyung, not that I find it surprising, because Hanchul is real, but I just don't understand him. And when SuJu M was created, that's when I had to tag with Ryeowook-hyung, Donghae-hyung, Mimi-gege, and Henry because I find it quite hard to deal with Hangeng-hyung and Siwon seems to be a little too serious learning Mandarin. But I always respect him. I find his beijing rice so tasty and yummy and wonderful and because of that, I get to know Hangeng-hyung. When he's cooking our meal I could feel if he's sad, mad or happy, if it tastes weird and different. It feels like I could read him because of that, because of his friedrice. But still I don't understand him. I find it nice when he would tuck me and wait for me to get to sleep during the first days here in China. I was feeling homesick and scared but he sat beside me and watched me as I, little by little, close my eyes and feel that I'm safe and all protected. and now he's not here to let me understand him even for a bit, and I wish I had understood him the day we met.

A/N: I miss you Hangeng! Huhuhu