He stared lovingly as Saet-byul slept in his arms, his shaky hand reaching out and pushing her hair from her face. Saet-byul…Saet-byul was all he needed now. He had already failed his baby brother, his precious Seok-jinnie… His hand around her back tightened as he fought his urge to cry, his body shaking. He couldn’t blame Saet-byul for what happened.

He had said yes. 

He told her it was okay. 

He killed his baby brother.

He killed Seok-jin.

He had wanted to die the moment he stared at the giant husk that had once been his brother. How could he sit here, breathing, when he had so cruelly and violently ripped Seok-jin away? He hadn’t wanted to move, wanting to wither away and die next to his brother. Even now, the idea of him sleeping in this soft bed had him nearly in tears. How long had it been since Seok-jin slept in a bed? And now he wouldn’t ever be able to. 

He should die.

It wasn’t fair to his baby brother if he lived happily.

Saet-byul mumbled something as she shifted in her sleep, and he bit his tongue to suppress his sobs. But this girl…this stubborn girl who every day forced herself into his arms, he couldn’t leave her. If he died, who would take care of her? She who so pitifully clung onto him like a lifeline, he knew she couldn’t live without him. This girl who couldn’t sleep, eat, or breathe without him; how could he leave her?

He’d protect Saet-byul.

Like how he failed Seok-jin, he would make sure nothing ever happened to his Byullie. 

--

The school wasn’t happy when he finally appeared after missing two weeks, though he was more surprised that it had already been that long. The moment he stepped into the classroom, a hushed whisper went throughout the class, the teacher stuttering in shock. He couldn’t have been bothered with what the others thought of him, giving the teacher a half-assed bow before going to his seat. 

“H-hey! Yoon Woo-jin!” He stopped halfway from sitting down, the room deathly silent, and he looked up to see the teacher still stuttering at him. “Where the hell have you been?” He fought the urge to roll his eyes as he sat down.

“Home,” he answered simply, looking out the window in hopes he would stop asking questions. 

“Is that all you can say? Come to the teacher’s office after class. Understand?” He gave another half nod in response, and he could see the teacher’s face redden in response. He never had been a bad student; he actually used to be a pretty decent student. His mother had always wished he tried harder but had been satisfied with his grades, and his teachers had always appreciated how talkative and helpful he was. A small part of that boy was horrified with how disrespectful and uncaring he had become, but he honestly didn’t care that much anymore.

His indifferent attitude came at a price though, the teacher paid all too close attention to him throughout class, calling him out anytime his eyes strayed from the board. He was called on a couple times, probably to try and embarrass him for not paying attention, though he was able to handle that with ease. He didn’t mean to be a pain in the to the teacher, he could see he was really trying; it was just he really didn’t want to be here. He wasn’t ready to come back to school yet. 

“Oh my god, Woo-jin; are you okay? You’ve been gone for weeks!”

“Were you sick?”

“Hey man, what happened? Someone die or something?” 

And that was exactly why; he wasn’t ready for the prying and annoying questions of his classmates. He knew they were mostly good-intentioned, but those good-intentions were misplaced. He wasn’t about to tell any of these nosy kids what happened, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to shared his feelings with them. 

He ignored them as he headed to teacher’s office during the lunch break, making sure this time to keep his head lowered respectfully. When his teacher turned to look at him with a sigh, he was half expecting him to throw something, or at least yell at him. He was not expecting a sympathetic look, let alone a kind pat on the arm. He blinked in confusion and his teacher seemed to clock the reaction. 

“Woo-jin ah,” he said affectionately, and he held back a shiver, “is something going on at home?”

…was it that obvious? 

“No teacher,” he said immediately, hoping that was all the teacher called him for and would let him go. It was alright if he blew off his classmates, but he couldn’t ignore the teacher. If he asked and he didn’t respond well enough, he’ll call home, and calling home meant Saet-byul’s mom would answer, and if she answered… “Nothing’s going on at home.” 

“Are you sure?” the teacher pressed, scooting his chair forward. “You haven’t been to class in over two weeks, and no one answered when we called home.”

“Nothing’s going on,” he said again. “My mother’s just afraid of answering the phone. She probably heard you but just refused to answer.” 

“Then where were you?” 

“…somewhere.”

“Woo-jin, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on. No one’s listening here, if you need to tell me something, it’s alright. I won’t tell anyone else.” 

“Everything’s fine, teacher. Things just happened so I couldn’t come. I’m fine now.”

“Then if I call home, your mother’s going to tell me everything’s fine?” 

“Don’t call!” he snapped, his patience wearing thin. He didn’t mind the teacher’s concern, knowing it wasn’t unwarranted, but if he kept pushing he was going to get pissed. He could only stand here for so long before it became more of an interrogation. “Look, teacher, I promise you, home is fine. I won’t miss any more classes. Don’t worry.” He bowed and hurriedly ran out of there, not giving his teacher any more time to call after him. 

There were only a few of his classmates still in the room, the majority of them heading to the cafeteria to eat. They were much more wary on approaching him time this around, only a couple of girls still trying to talk to him. He liked this much better, enjoying the silence sent his way as the others eventually went back to themselves. He leaned back in his seat, ready to take a small nap, when he heard something brushed on his desk, and opened his eyes to see a notebook. He sat back up and looked over in time to see the guy next to him hurriedly look away, his cheeks tinted red. 

“Y-you…” He whipped open the notebook to see the entire thing full of notes from all of their classes, each day labeled and color coded per class. His jaw slackened at the amount of effort that had to have been put into this, and he looked over in slight awe. “Did you do this for me?”

The guy nodded embarrassedly, a hint of a smile on his lips. 

He chuckled, flipping through the pages one last time. “Taek…Taek-woonie right? You didn’t have to do this.” 

“You…you missed class,” the other boy replied simply, though he noticed how his face lit up when he said his name. 

“Thanks. I’ll copy these and hand them back to you as soon as possible.” 

“You don’t have to,” he said hurriedly, reaching out and pushing the notebook back to him. “I-I made them for you.” 

His sour mood brightened just at the look of how proud the other boy was of his work, and how he waited so expectantly to hear his praise. This boy…he could almost picture Seok-jin in him. If only Seok-jin had stayed cute like this, he would still be here. If only he had been studious like Taek-woon, and hadn’t tried to get in with those gangs to prove himself, he would be alive. He forced a happy smile on his face, ruffling the other’s hair. “Really? Thanks a lot Taek-woonie!” 

Opening to one of the pages and reading over the English notes, he asked casually, “Do you take notes like this all the time?” Taek-woon didn’t answer, and when he looked up he saw the other hurriedly nod. He frowned; he guessed the boy didn’t like talking that much. “How can you sit there and take such good notes? Class is so boring.” 

The other looked down thoughtfully and he sighed out in exasperation. “Don’t do that,” he snapped, grabbing the other’s chin and forcing it up. Taek-woon stared at him in slight horror, trying desperately to pull away. “When someone’s asking you a question about yourself, you should answer confidently. Don’t hide away like that.” He finally let go and the other drew in on himself, one hand rubbing his chin. He could tell he was hurt. 

“Hey, I’m not yelling at you. I’m just trying to help. You’ve been helping me even though I’ve been just sitting around here doing nothing.”

“It doesn’t matter,” the other muttered quietly. He waited for the other to continue but he kept silent, his eyes downcast and the cute smile of his gone. He shook his head and thanked the boy one last time, giving him a pat on the back.

That brought the smile back. 

When classes were over, he avoided looking the teacher in the eye and jumped out of his seat, ready to book it out of there. He had to get Saet-byul. “W-Woo-jin ssi…?”

He turned around to see Taek-woon looking up at him from his seat, the notebook from earlier in his hands. He knew he messed up when he saw the hurt look on the other’s face, the fingers holding the notebook shaking. “I’m so sorry Taek-woon ah! I forgot to put it in my bag, I’m really sorry!” He threw his bag on his desk and quickly snatched the book out of the other’s hands, stuffing it in his bag as carefully as he could. He sent the other a flashing smile, though it didn’t seem to be enough, the boy avoiding his eyes. 

“Taek-woonie-”

“It’s alright,” he said softly, standing up and throwing his bag over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow.” 

“Taek-woon, wait!” He ran up to the other and grabbed his arm, holding him back. “Hey, I really did forget. I didn’t leave it on purpose.” 

“It’s fine…”

“Seok-jinnie, Mommy has something she needs to tell you.”

“You mean hyung isn’t really my hyung? You’re not my mother?”

“Hey…would you mind coming with me to pick someone up? I don’t want to see you leave with a sad face.” He poked the other’s cheek, lighting up when the other sent him a cute, little smile. “Please?”

“I…”

“It’s not that far away. At most it takes me ten minutes to get there.” He sent the other a pleading smile, his hands clasped in front of him, and it took less than three seconds for the boy to crumble. 

He smiled brightly as he hooked his arm in Taek-woon’s, leading the quiet boy down the street as they headed to Saet-byul’s school. He looked over to see the other boy staring at their locked arms in wonder, and for a second his smile slipped away. He really wasn’t sure why he suddenly decided to bring Taek-woon along with him, to meet Saet-byul of all people. If it was anyone else, he would rather stab their eyes out than bring them close to her. But Taek-woon… Taek-woon gave him a tiny smile that made his chubby cheeks brighten. 

Taek-woon was like his cute little Seok-jinnie… 

After a while, Taek-woon relaxed in his death grip, his shoulders lowering and his sweaty hands opening up. He cleared his throat. “U-um…Woo-jin ssi-”

“I’m bringing you to meet someone very special to me." He could tell Taek-woon was curious, though the other stayed silent instead of asking. He appreciated that. They continued on in silence until Saet-byul’s school came into view, the majority of the students already having left. “Come on,” he said, speeding up as he realized how much time had passed since school had ended. He only hoped she was okay waiting this long.

He and Taek-woon jogged down the hallways, his heart dropping the moment he saw the empty room. Where…? Where did she go? She never left this room; she always waited for him here. She wouldn’t have left on her own. Panicking, he looked up and down the hallway, hoping to see her jump out or something. “Woo-jin ssi? What’s wrong?” 

“She’s missing,” he managed to breathe out, his chest heaving when Saet-byul’s teacher turned around the corner. She looked surprised for a second before smiling.

“Woo-jin, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” She clocked his frantic expression and chuckled. “Are you looking for Saet-byul? She’s at her tutoring, remember?” 

…tutoring? 

“Where is she now?” 

The woman sighed as she sent him a slightly disappointed look, nodding her head to the closed door next to her. “She’s in there. But don’t go in, she needs to finish her lesson before heading home.” She sent him a hard stare before leaving them; he groaned as he slumped to the floor, exhausted. He could feel Taek-woon’s heavy stare on his, and he buried his head in his hands. 

“I forgot about her tutoring,” he said quietly, his voice muffled. “I’m sorry for bringing you out here for nothing.” 

“I…I’ll wait with you if you want.” He looked up to see Taek-woon staring straight at him, the embarrassed look gone and replaced with a more confident, steely look. He had to say he was a little sad to see that cute face disappear, even when he told him not to. He invited Taek-woon to sit next to him while they waited, though the other seemed determined to stand, his hands in his pockets. Though after a while, when the only indication they were in there being muffled talking, he eventually sat down. 

He didn’t know how much time passed before the door eventually opened, he shot up expectantly only to be face to face with the tutor. He immediately frowned. 

He didn’t like her tutor. There was something about him that he just didn’t like; he just couldn’t stand his fake smile. He also had heard him demand Saet-byul not to tell anyone about him tutoring her, as if he was embarrassed of her. 

The guy jumped at the sight of him, backing up a few steps and he inwardly cheered that he was intimidating enough that this guy was scared. Saet-byul was right there behind him, darting out from under the guy’s arm and hugging him. He barely gave her a second glance, glaring at the guy until he eventually scurried away. If it wasn’t for the fact that she needed a tutor, he would have stopped this nonsense by now. 

“N,” she breathed, jerking back and swiftly hiding behind him. He immediately tensed; snapping his head up to find whatever scared her, when he suddenly laughed. 

“Don’t be scared,” he said tenderly, pushing her out. “He’s a friend.” 

Taek-woon seemed to belatedly realize she was scared of him, hurriedly bowing. “Hello,” he said gently, his voice barely over a whisper. 

Saet-byul wasn’t convinced, her little fingers trembling and her face pressed firmly into his side. He sighed as reached over her and pat her shoulder. “He’s a friend to me like Hyukkie is to you. He won’t hurt you.” That seemed to work, her slowly but surely pulling away from him to get a good look at the other boy. It was actually adorable watching Taek-woon attempt to widen his eyes, trying his hardest not to appear to glare at her. “Say hello.”

At that she pressed herself back against him side again, though she did eventually eek out a small, “Hello.” 

Knowing how hard it was for her to say even that, he took over introductions. “This is my friend Taek-woon, he’s from my class.” She nodded and he turned to said boy. “This is Saet-byul.” He could tell he was expecting him to say more about her, but that was as far as he was going. It didn’t matter how much he liked the other boy, Saet-byul was a different story. 

“Was this your special someone?” Taek-woon asked after a moment of silence. He nodded, looking back down at her to see her slowly relaxing. 

“She’s the one I pick up right after school. I got so caught up in coming here I forgot about your notebook.” 

“Ah…this was all to apologize.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! I really did want to introduce you to her.” He wanted to say more but she tugged on his arm, sending him a desperate look. He knew what she wanted, and while he wanted to stay to make sure Taek-woon left in high spirits, he couldn’t deny her. “We have to go catch our bus to get home, so we have to go. Sorry that I have to leave.”

Taek-woon shook his head, rocking on his feet. “That’s okay.”

Taek-woon must have looked really pitiful because even Saet-byul felt bad, moving her head slightly so she could stare at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Taek-woon nodded and he couldn’t help but smile. “Make sure tomorrow you don’t hide behind your hair! Puff out your chest and be confident, okay?” He brushed Taek-woon’s bangs aside and pushed on his chest for emphasis, giving him a thumbs up. “Don’t let me catch you hiding!” 

“Okay…”

They all headed out together, Saet-byul still hiding but stealing glances whenever the other boy wasn’t looking. Taek-woon must live in Seoul; halfway to their bus stop he parted with them, barely giving them a wave before scurrying away. 

It wasn’t until they were safe in their own home that Saet-byul jumped out and slapped his stomach lightly, frowning. “That man was so scary,” she whispered. He laughed out loud as he merely wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her to their room.

“I told you he’s my friend. What part of him was so scary?”

“He looked so angry…I was afraid he was going to hurt me.” 

“Hey,” he said, helping Saet-byul take off her backpack and blazer, “don’t tell him that, okay? He’s actually very shy.” She blinked up at him, biting her lip. “When you see him next time, make sure to smile at him okay?”

“Is he really your friend?”

“Of course. He’s really nice. He gave me a copy of notes for all the days I missed.” He pulled out the notebook Taek-woon had given him and showed her. She didn’t say anything for the longest time, and he had already gone to starting his own homework when she finally did speak. 

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t very nice to your friend.”

“It’s alright. I should have told you about him first before bringing him to see you. It’s just…he reminds me of…” His voice caught before he could utter his name, though Saet-byul seemed to understand as she placed her books aside and climbed up to hug him from behind. “He used to act just like that…he’s just like Seok-jinnie.” 

The next day, he was shocked at what was sitting at Taek-woon’s desk, and it seemed he wasn’t the only one, the whole class in a hushed silence. Instead of the usual hair in eyes and hunched shoulders, a confident looking Taek-woon sat in his place. His hair was gelled up in a spiked fashion, dyed a surprisingly bright red. Instead of his neat uniform, the blazer was ed and the shirt slightly ruffled. That same hard glare that had originally forced them to talk turned and landed on him, and the cute smile broke out. 

Despite the shocking transformation, he was still Taek-woon underneath. 

He laughed as he ran to his seat and sat down next to the other, clapping him on the back. “Look at you Taek-woonie! You look so handsome!”

“T-thank you,” he whispered out, his voice still soft and barely audible. 

“And look at this! You dyed your hair! It looks so cool!” Taek-woon gave a nervous laugh, his eyes glancing at his own silver hair, and he realized the reason for the color. It only made him cuter as he pinched his cheek, deciding it best not to ruffle the other’s immaculately styled hair. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Stop it,” he hissed as he pushed his hand away, hurriedly looking away, conscious of all the stares on them. He chuckled to himself as class started, sneaking glances at the overly self-conscious Taek-woon.

He really was cute.

“Come with me to see Saet-byul!” he offered after class, watching as the boy nearly cried out at the sudden hug he gave him. “She wants to apologize for yesterday. Please don’t make my Byullie sad.” He could see the rejection on the tip of the other’s tongue, though at the mention of Saet-byul he hesitated. “Please? She doesn’t have her tutoring today.” 

In the end, he was nearly skipping as he dragged an indignant Taek-woon by the arm to Saet-byul’s classroom. There were still a couple students in the room with her when they arrived, and he couldn’t hide the smile growing on his lips when he saw Hyuk sitting next to her. The boy was so obviously infatuated with her it was adorable. Not that he would let him do anything with her. Not until Saet-byul was ready. 

“N!” she called out, jumping out her seat and running to grab him in a hug. She noticed belatedly Taek-woon was behind them, her eyes widening at the sight of his change. He wouldn’t blame her; Taek-woon looked vastly different from what he did yesterday. He never did expect the boy to take his words to heart so quickly. “H-hello.” 

“H-hi.” 

“Hello sunbae.” He looked up to see Hyuk bowing to him. Saet-byul eventually pulled away and stood next to Hyuk, picking her fingernails. 

“Hello Hyukkie,” he said with a wave, inwardly giggling at how both of their faces reddened like tomatoes. “Were you waiting with Saet-byul?” Hyuk’s face turned an even darker shade of red, stealing a glance at Saet-byul before staring at his feet. 

“You can call me hyung,” he said casually, a small chuckle escaping his lips at their mirroring shocked look. He turned to Taek-woon. “You can call me hyung too!”

“No,” the other said simply, his eyes narrowing into what he could only guess as a real glare. Well, technically he was older than all of them, though they didn’t know that. He wasn’t even sure Saet-byul knew his real age. 

Even he was starting to forget.