Jackson stared at the beautiful boy sleeping in his arms, saddened by the dark circles under his eyes and the feeling of thin too thin as Jackson wrapped his arms tighter around Mark. He knew Mark would get more sleep now and that soon his circles would fade, and his body would return to normal. It just hurt Jackson to know he was the cause of it in the first place.

He tried to fight the guilt. He knew it wouldn't help them, and he knew none of it was anyone's fault, despite what Mark may think. But the guilty feelings were there, regardless.

He was mad at Mark for not taking care of himself, but he also knew that if things were reveresed, Jackson would've done the same. But Jackson knew he would've done it because he loved Mark.

Did Mark love Jackson? Or was he just being his kind self?

Either way, Jackson's first priority was getting Mark back to normal. 

Jackson gently rubbed circles into Mark's back, slowly moving up until he was massaging Mark's neck. Mark made a sort of kitten mewl, snuffling his nose closer to Jackson's neck before sighing. Jackson's heart beat faster, having never heard Mark make such a noise before. He continued to softly trace his fingers along the back of Mark's neck, rubbing here and there, and the sounds Mark made had heat pooling in Jackson's stomach. He smiled wickedly. So Mark's neck was sensitive...

He could tell his actions were slowly awakening Mark, but he continued to massage and touch Mark's neck, and Mark gasped sensually, arching into the touch.

"God, that feels good." Mark still hadn't opened his eyes, but he was clearly awake now, hands gripping Jackson's arm and shirt as he continued to lean into the touch.

"Jackson..." Mark breathed, his voice low, as Jackson's fingers caressed a particularly sensitive spot. Mark's whole body shivered in pleasure, and Jackson almost groaned at the effort to not shudder in pleasure himself. Mark reluctantly pulled away from his place at Jackson's neck to look at him, his eyes sleepy but happy. Jackson tried to calm his racing heart.

"You're doing it again," Mark accused.

"Doing what?"

"Taking care of me." Jackson just smiled. "I'm taking care of you, remember? It's almost dinner time. The others will be back soon. I'll make some dinner, you can watch TV, and then we can find out what we missed from JB and Junior."

Before Jackson could snatch him back, Mark slipped from Jackson's arms and walked toward the kitchen. Jackson groaned, unhappy, until he remembered that if he himself ate, then Mark would eat, too. 

"I don't want to watch TV. That's boring," Jackson griped, finding Mark heating water on the stove. "Well, I'm just making ramen, so there's not much for two people to do -- unless you want to get out some vegetables and side dishes from the fridge. BamBam brought us some yummy things yesterday, we can add that." Jackson did as he was told, but it didn't take long. Jackson decided to spend the rest of the time sitting at the kitchen table, staring at Mark. He had forgotten about Mark's kiss with Yugyeom until Mark had mentioned BamBam's name. Was Mark going to reject the younger boy?

"What are you going to do about Yugyeom?" Jackson blurted out, unable to stop himself. He saw Mark freeze, his back to Jackson. 

"I..." Mark began, but was interrupted by their two roommates barging in loudly.

"Hey guys! Glad to see you both awake and feeling better!" Junior said, clapping Jackson on the back with a smile. "If it hadn't been for your fever, I would've thought you were just trying to be lazy."

"For four days!?"

Junior shrugged. "I wouldn't put it past you."

"Me either." JB chimed in.

"What nice friends you are!" Jackson huffed, crossing his arms. 

"Or you were doing it just so Mark would take care of you," JB added.

"Hey!"

The two roommates laughed while Jackson scowled. Mark kept his back to all of them. "We're just teasing you, of course. We know what a hard worker you are." Junior said, ruffling Jackson's hair.

"Speaking of which, you should go to practice today," Mark said, setting down the pot of ramen amidst the side dishes. "You have a competition to prepare for."

"Yeah, yeah," Jackson said, waving his chopsticks in the air. He didn't notice Mark's frown, too busy stuffing his face with food. It wasn't until he was grabbing his gear for practice that he realized something was up. Mark began putting on his shoes when Jackson did.

"Where are you going?" Jackson asked.

"With you."

"With me? To fencing?"

"Yes. I've never seen you fence. I feel like I should." Mark said this very nonchalantly, but the idea brought Jackson up short.

"I'm not going to be in top form, having missed a few days and still recovering. It'd be better to wait until you can really see what I can do." Jackson purposefully left out the part where he was nervous just thinking about Mark watching him.

"I really want to come...unless you don't want me to?" Mark looked at him with a concerned face.

"No...it's fine. Yeah, great, let's go!" Jackson pumped himself up, half nervous and half excited. Mark wanted to watch him fence!

In the beginning of practice, after the coach had scolded him for getting sick, Jackson made a few mistakes. His cheeks burned, embarrassed that Mark was seeing this, but he soon got back into his rhythm. It was like second nature to him, and he soon even forgot that Mark was watching.

After taking his 5th win of the practice and the coach blew his whistle to signal the end of practice, Jackson pulled off his helmet with a grin, shaking hands with his teammate. When he heard loud cheering coming from the nearby stands, Jackson remembered that Mark had been watching, and saw him clapping with a huge smile. Jackson took a bow, smirking.

After Jackson had cleaned up, he found Mark waiting for him outside the locker room.

"Thanks for waiting for me, and for coming to watch." Jackson was on an adrenaline high, made worse that Mark got to see a lot of his cool moves.

"I knew you were good, but that was amazing! I can only imagine how good you are once you are back to full health. You are really impressive, Jackson."

Jackson wanted to scream and shout at the praise. Mark thought he was impressive. He grinned at Mark, making silly muscle poses with his arms. Mark pushed his head playfully. "Don't go getting a big head, now."

"Me? Never!" Jackson shouted before running around, doing cartwheels and such, Mark laughing all the while.

"You really are a giant puppy."

That only set Jackson off to make barking noises and sticking his tongue out like a dog. By the time they reached their dorm, Mark was still laughing and Jackson was finally tiring out.

Mark headed for the fridge, but before Jackson could follow Junior grabbed Jackson's wrist. "Can I talk to you for a minute? In my room."

Junior closed the door behind them and stood staring at Jackson with crossed arms. "So what's the deal with you and Mark?"

"...nothing," Jackson said, sighing.

"Exactly. Nothing. Except you obviously love him."

Jackson stared, his mouth hanging open. "What? When? I don't..."

"Cut the crap, Jackson. I've been your roommate for 3 years now. I know when you like someone, and you're practically drooling every time you look at Mark. So why haven't you said anything yet?"

Jackson tried to gather his thoughts, eyes on the floor. "I don't want to ruin our friendship. I really like him, so much that I'm going crazy. But with all that happened with Jimin and Suzy, I just...can't. I'm scared. He'll end up hating me just like they did and that would absolutely break me."

Junior was quiet for a minute. "You fall fast and hard, Jackson. It's just your nature. But that doesn't mean you're going to crash and burn every time. It was different with Jimin and Suzy. Mark isn't like them, and I'm willing to bet that how you feel about Mark is different than how you felt with them."

Jackson thought about this. It was true that he felt differently with Mark -- he thought he had loved when he loved Jimin and Suzy, but now that he had these feelings about Mark, he realized what he felt now was much more intense. But the situations were the same. He had been really good friends with both girls before falling for them, and now their friendship was destroyed. Jackson loved too much, too deeply.

"But what if it's the same?" Jackson whispered.

Junior put his arm around Jackson consolingly. "I can't see the future, but I really think things are different this time. Even if Mark rejects you, which I don't think he will, or even if you date and it doesn't last, I think the two of you will still be friends forever. Don't you think it's worth a try? You can't keep up the pretending -- it will slowly eat you up inside. And besides, what if someone like Yugyeom comes along and takes him?"

Jackson scowled at that, and Junior laughed. "Just promise me you'll confess soon."

Slumping his shoulders in defeat, Jackson agreed. He hated it when Junior made sense.

-------------------------------------------

Almost a week had gone by, and Jackson was preparing to leave for Japan for his tournament. Things had been so hectic, trying to catch up with school (and going to Jackson's fencing practices to make sure he was getting healthier), that Mark hadn't had much time to deal with his problem -- Yugyeom. But Mark needed to say something before things got out of hand.

Mark shifted uncomfortably on his feet, biting his lip before knocking lightly. The door opened up to reveal a smiling BamBam.

"Mark! Come in! I didn't know you were coming over."

"Sorry. Is this a bad time?" Mark asked.

"No, not at all! Have a seat. Do you want anything to drink?"

"Uh, no, thanks."

"So what's up?" BamBam looked at him expectantly with a smile.

"First, uh, thanks for the snacks and stuff."

BamBam waved his hands in the air, gesturing "no big deal." "Just glad I could help while Jackson was sick!"

"About that...is Yugyeom here?" BamBam's smile faltered a little.

"No, he's out."

Mark fidgeted some more. He needed to ask and get this over with, once and for all. He felt sick just thinking about it, though.

"What are you going to tell him?"

That surprised Mark. He started at BamBam with shock. BamBam looked back at him with an odd expression that Mark couldn't figure out.

"I'm...I'm going to tell him that I like someone else."

BamBam visibly deflated at that, almost in relief. "That's good, Mark."

Mark looked at BamBam curiously. "Why do you care so much, Bam?"

BamBam tried to switch topics. "Are you hungry? Do you need something to eat?" He stood up, moving towards the kitchen, but Mark was faster, grabbing his arm.

"BamBam...do you like Yugyeom?"

Mark could feel how BamBam froze, stiff as a board. But he soon turned and was hugging Mark, tears falling from his eyes. Shocked, Mark found himself consoling his friend, who had been in love with Yugyeom for the past 2 years, unable to say anything, especially once Mark showed up and Yugyeom seemed to talk of nothing else. Mark could relate to poor BamBam, thinking of his own situation with Jackson. Once BamBam had dried his tears, Mark asked, "So you don't like Jackson?"

BamBam almost fell on the floor in surprise before laughing hysterically. "Jackson? Oh my god, Mark! Seriously?" Mark didn't understand why it was so funny. "Of course not! I mean, he's great, he's a wonderful friend and he helped me get my mind off Yugyeom with his crazy antics, but no way. Besides, he only has eyes for you anyway."

It was Mark's turn to stare in surprise. "What?"

BamBam smiled. "You two are so dense, no wonder you are perfect together. He's always eyeing you like you are the greatest thing in the universe. But I'm not surprised you haven't noticed. You never had a clue about my feelings for you when we were in Thailand, even though I dropped hints like crazy!"

"WHAT?" Mark shouted. His mind raced through his memory, looking for clues.

"When we first became friends, I was crushing on you hard. But I soon got over it." BamBam was smiling and laughing, so Mark knew he wasn't upset. But still. "Gosh, Mark, you are so ridiculous, I love it. Poor Jackson!"

Mark smiled and laughed, pinching BamBam's cheeks in retaliation. "Sorry, Bam. I really didn't know."

"I know. It's fine. It's Yugyeom that's bothering me now. I even kissed Jackson just to see how he'd respond, and nothing! He didn't react at all!" BamBam whined.

At that moment, the front door opened and Yugyeom entered the suite. BamBam quickly turned pink and stopped talking. Mark silently laughed and said hello.

"Mark! I haven't seen you in ages!" Yugyeom immediately smiled wide at seeing the older boy. BamBam grumbled something and then said loudly, "I'll let you two talk."

Yugyeom watched BamBam leave with a confused look on his face. "What's up, Mark?"

Mark felt sick again. He didn't want to hurt the kind boy's feelings, but he knew it was wrong to not say anything at all.

"Yugyeom, about the party..."

"Ah. You want to talk about the kiss." Mark couldn't believe this young kid could be so blunt!

"Yeah. I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page so that no one was confused..."

"You're rejecting me," Yugyeom said suddenly, frowning. Mark looked up at him, eyes wide.

"How..."

"You always bite your lip when you are nervous. Since I made my feelings clear, you'd only be nervous if you felt the opposite."

Mark stood up to try to meet the taller boy's gaze, fidgeting with his sleeves. "I'm sorry, Yugyeom. I do really like you, but only as a friend. I...I have feelings for someone else."

Yugyeom's shoulders slumped and he gave Mark a tiny smile. "I know. I know you didn't feel that way about me. I thought maybe you might change your mind, and I don't regret trying, but I knew it was a long shot."

"Friends?" Mark asked tenatively.

"Friends," Yugyeom responded softly. Mark couldn't believe how cool Yugyeom was being about this. The maknae really was mature, although he had a feeling that BamBam would be consoling the younger boy once he was gone. It made his heart heavy to know he was the source of someone's pain. He left after saying goodbye to BamBam, knowing it would probably take a little while before Yugyeom would want to hang out with him again. He had to give him space.

-----------------------------------

Jackson had been so focused on fencing and catching up with school that the time flew by. It was almost time for him to go to Japan for his tournament, and he was excited. A little nervous, but mostly excited.

The only blot on his world of sunshine was his situation with Mark. Junior kept dropping hints about saying something, but Jackson had been so busy. So had Mark, for that matter. Mark never answered his question about Yugyeom, and he felt awkward bringing it up again. 

If Mark did like Yugyeom, there wasn't anything Jackson could really do about it, he realized. He should probably do what he could with Mark before Mark was potentially taken away -- if not by Yugyeom, then possibly someone else -- and before the possibility of Mark rejecting him.

Jackson was going to confess, but after he came back from his tournament. He didn't think he would perform well if Mark rejected him just before his match. 

At the same time, if Mark accepted...

Jackson let himself dream a little as he brushed his teeth and then prepared for bed, smiling like an idiot as he thought about Mark agreeing to be his boyfriend. But then that bubble burst when he remembered Yugyeom would have Mark to himself for a whole week while Jackson was gone. Before he could think any further, Jackson found himself knocking on Mark's open door.

"Hey."

"Hey," Mark said from his bed, already under the covers. "What's up?"

"Move over," Jackson demanded, pushing Mark over, surprised when Mark complied. Mark turned so that he was facing Jackson, curiosity etched on his face. Jackson just snuggled into Mark's bed, pulling the covers over them and closing his eyes.

"May I ask to what I owe the pleasure?" Jackson could hear the grin in Mark's voice.

"Don't want to sleep alone tonight." Jackson peeked to see Mark's reaction. He was met with a concerned look.

"Are you nervous?" Mark asked quietly, his hand reaching out to grab Jackson's, gently squeezing.

"A little." Mark's touch turned to gentle circles with his thumb. 

"You'll be great, Jackson. Just make sure you enjoy the experience. You love fencing -- more than winning, make sure you have fun." Mark gave him one of those smiles, the kind that made Jackson melt into a puddle of goo and warmed him all over. Jackson immediately felt better, and pulled Mark into his arms.

"Let me sleep like this tonight, please. Just tonight," Jackson pleaded, not wanting to let Mark go. It was hitting him now, how much he was going to miss him. He just hoped things didn't drastically change while he was gone.

"Okay," Mark mumbled, the word almost not reaching Jackson's ears. But Jackson could feel Mark's grip on him tighten, and Mark's body relax into the embrace. Jackson pulled him even closer, and fell asleep to the sound of Mark's breath evening out.

-----------------------------------

Mark sat in the van with his roommates driving Jackson to the airport. The other three were rambunctious, excited for Jackson and Jackson himself pumped up to show his skills internationally. They were meeting his coach at the airport, so they used this time to blast their music and sing along loudly.

Mark tried to join in, but couldn't. His talk with BamBam from the day before kept going through his mind, and he didn't want to live with regrets. Snuggling with Jackson the night before had made Mark equally happy and sad -- sad because he didn't know if it was the last time he'd get to be close to Jackson. He needed to let Jackson know of his feelings, and for some reason Mark couldn't stand the thought of Jackson leaving without knowing. Jackson was only going to be gone for a week, but if felt like he was going to be gone for a year. He was trying to think of what to do, and how to tell him, but his nerves kept getting in the way. What if BamBam was wrong, and Jackson didn't like him? Wouldn't a confession throw him off his game?

Exiting the van, the four boys walked into the airport, Jackson slinging an arm around Mark's shoulders, pulling him closer.

"You okay, Mark? You look nervous," Jackson whispered into his ear. "Don't worry, I'll make it safely back to you."

"To me?" Mark's heart beat faster.

"To you," Jackson said with finality, not looking at Mark.

JB and Junior pulled them ahead, the four boys finding themselves at the gate. JB and Junior gave their good wishes to Jackson, and then it was Mark's turn. Jackson immediately pulled Mark into a strong hug.

"Good luck, Jackson," Mark breathed, putting all his feelings into the words. Jackson deserved to win, and Mark really hoped he would.

"You'll watch me on TV, right?" Jackson muttered into Mark's neck. Somehow, the embrace was intimate, with the way Jackson was coiled around Mark tightly, face in his neck.

"Of course," Mark replied, his face heating up at the close contact. "Know that I'll be cheering for you. I'm your number one fan, Jackson Wang!" He rubbed Jackson's back for emphasis.

"It's time to go, Jackson," his coach yelled. Jackson reluctantly pulled away, as did Mark. He felt like he had so much to say, but Jackson was already walking away, waving, his beautiful face smiling.

"Wait, Jackson!" Mark yelled, running toward his roommate. Jackson stopped and turned, and Mark wasn't thinking anymore. "I just..." and then Mark was colliding into Jackson, arms around his neck and angling his head to press his lips against the fencer's, eyes closed. Jackson's hands had placed themselves on Mark's waist when they collided, and Mark could feel them go slack when Mark kissed him. Even though it was quick, Jackson wasn't kissing him back. The older boy pulled away, eyes downcast, not wanting to see Jackson's reaction. 

But before Mark could take two steps, Jackson's hand pulled Mark's wrist, pulling him back into Jackson's arms, where Jackson proceeded to kiss him senseless, his hands in Mark's hair and on Mark's back. He could feel his own heart stutter and then soar, Mark smiling into the kisses, his arms back around Jackson's neck. Mark lost all track of time and place, pulling Jackson as close to him as possible in his happiness, their kissing becoming even deeper and more intimate. Mark felt like his body was on fire. Eventually, the pair finally paused, chests heaving and panting for breath, both boys smiling as wide as possible.

"Get a room!" Junior called while JB whistled at the pair. Jackson's coach was saying something about the plane leaving, pulling Jackson away, but Jackson still clung to Mark. Mark somehow (although reluctantly) got out of Jackson's grasp, knowing Jackson needed to leave, but Jackson reached for him even as his coach pulled him along.

Mark watched as Jackson managed to evade his coach, running back toward Mark and swooping in for another embrace, lips meeting once again.

"You'll" (kiss) "wait" (kiss) "for" (kiss) "me" (kiss) "right?" Jackson breathed between kisses, smiling all the while.

"Yes. And I'll think about you all the time. I already do," Mark smiled back, as Jackson got in one more kiss before his coach pulled him away again. Jackson laughed his crazy laugh, grinning madly at Mark. "I'll get a gold medal for you, Mark!"

"Go get 'em Jackson! I'll be here when you return with that gold medal!" Mark shouted at Jackson as his coach yanked him down the hall. He could hear Jackson shouting his name. "Go to Japan and when you get back, we can continue where we left off!"

Mark was pretty sure that the strangled shout he heard came from Jackson, and he smiled, deliriously happy.

Mark couldn't wait for Jackson to return.