Jackson spent the next few weeks in a blur. He remembered going to some classes, he remembered fencing, he remembered his friends, but none of it really registered. He felt so out of it, but nothing seemed to be able to get him back to his lively self.

Junior even made a comment that Jackson had become more introspective than himself, and that was saying a lot, as Junior was known in the group for being contemplative and a deep thinker, while Jackson was known for being the opposite. 

Finally, Junior and JB had had enough. Jackson knew it immediately, in the way that Junior slammed his door open and stomped over to Jackson, who was sitting on his bed. JB stood in the door, clearly not going to stop Junior. Junior grabbed Jackson by his shirt and shook him, hard.

"Why won't you answer Mark's texts?" He yelled in Jackson's face, anger emanating off of him in waves.

Jackson had lied to himself before, when he threw his phone under the bed. It was only an hour later when Jackson scrambled under the bed, snatching his phone and reading all the texts from Mark. He never responded, but he continued to read Mark's at first increasingly worried texts, which then morphed into angry ones, followed by very general ones mixed with pleading.

Jackson liked the ones he was getting now. It was like Mark didn't care that Jackson wasn't responding -- Mark was texting him about everything anyway. The way he hated hospital food, but his family would sneak him special things now and then; how the rain made him think of Jackson; how America was so familiar, and yet didn't feel right without the others there with him.

Jackson had learned through these texts that Mark was going through physical therapy in America. He still had no idea what hospital Mark's family had originally transferred him to, but it didn't really matter now. Mark was thousands of miles away, safe from Jackson.

But right now, Jackson had to deal with his two angry roommates. Jinyoung moped around dramatically for a while after Mark was expelled. JB wasn't as obvious about it, but Jackson could tell JB was just as affected. Both of them were texting Mark, however, which led to their current situation.

"He's better off without me," Jackson said, not even bothering to take Junior's hands off him.

"Are you kidding me?" Jackson heard JB say from the door just as Junior shook Jackson some more before pushing him back on his bed with a huff.

"You are an idiot, Jackson Wang. A self-destructive idiot," Junior snarled.

Jackson didn't say anything.  "You know, you should really let Mark decide if he's better off without you or not," JB wisely said.

"So you think it's your fault that Mark is hurt, and that's why you're pushing him away?" Junior questioned. "That's ridiculous. Remember how happy he was with you before?"

Yes, Jackson could remember. Jackson remembered it all, every day.

"It's not that simple."

"Then explain it to us."

"I got him kicked out of his home. His home. Don't you see how big of a deal that is for someone like Mark?"

"And yet, he's still desperate to talk to you. I'm pretty sure that means he doesn't blame you at all."

Jackson already knew Mark didn't blame him. He had sent it many times in his texts. But that wasn't the point.

"I know he doesn't blame me."

"Then what the , Jackson?" Junior glared at him. "You're hurting him even more right now. How is that a good thing?"

How could Jackson explain the terror he felt when he thought Mark had died? How could Jackson explain that even though Mark didn't think it was his fault, Jackson still blamed himself for all of it, and was afraid he would mess up again -- and then maybe Mark really would die, and Jackson can't even imagine the hell his life would be then. Better for Mark to be alive and elsewhere than to have Jackson be the one to kill him.

Jackson knew that all of that was probably a little dramatic. But it was how he felt. He cared about Mark so much it scared him, and he hadn't fully realized it until the night of the accident. Jackson knew he wasn't a bad influence or unlucky, but he felt like he needed to be better -- he needed to be more for Mark.

Having shut down, his other two roommates left angrily. Over the next few weeks, Jackson threw himself into fencing and school, doing practically nothing else. The other boys continued life as normal. Yugyeom and BamBam were horribly mischevious as a pair, and liked to target Jackson (for his idiocy with Mark) and Jinyoung (for the enraged reaction he gave). Their romance also continued to grow. Youngjae and JB were completely sickening -- their romance had also grown, but in such a way that they didn't even try to hide their makeout sessions anymore. Jinyoung, for his part, continued to berate Jackson while also dropping information about Mark every chance he got, in hopes of enticing Jackson to talk to his "dimsum." Jackson did allow himself some fun -- he still wasn't quite himself, but he attended parties (he and JB and Junior even threw a few) and had dance-offs with Yugyeom and BamBam. But even if he was able to push Mark from his mind during the day (which didn't happen often), he always thought of Mark at night, when he was trying to get to sleep. He even tried sleeping in Mark's dorm once, but without Mark's sheets, pillow, and decorations (not to mention Mark himself), it was just a regular bed with no meaning. He returned to his own bed quickly.

Mark had continued texting him and Jackson never responded, until eventually fewer and fewer texts were appearing. Finally, the texts stopped completely. Jackson was anxious at first, until he overheard Junior talking about Mark going to Disneyland that day, so he knew Mark was okay. But then he realized he had gotten his wish -- Mark had forgotten him. Jackson was devastated for a long time, but he tried to hide it. After all, that's what he wanted.

All too soon, it was almost time for graduation. Jackson mostly knew this because of how gross Youngjae and JB were getting -- Youngjae was upset about what little time he and JB had together, so he was constantly glued to JB's side. An art show was happening the night before graduation, and Jackson had no desire to go, but JB had somehow swindled them all into agreeing to go in support of Youngjae. He missed the sly looks JB and Junior were shooting each other.

They wandered the exhibit for a while, finding Youngjae halfway through. The younger boy pulled his friends along excitedly, explaining that his main entry had won first place, and was the center of the whole exhibit. As soon as Jackson entered the next hall, his eyes zeroed in on Youngjae's prized piece.

It was of Mark.

It wasn't of Mark sitting and posing, but instead it was three drawings of him in three different expressions. The first drawing of Mark was of him standing and looking at something fondly. The next drawing was of Mark in the next moment, laughing and reaching out. The last was of Mark smiling, and Jackson could've sworn it was that little smile that Mark only used with him. Jackson loved that smile.

It was then that Jackson remembered to breathe, and he suddenly realized everyone had left except Youngjae.

"He's looking at you, you know."

Jackson looked over at Youngjae quizzically, not understanding.

"In the drawings, he's looking at you. I always felt such emotion in Mark's expressions whenever he looked at you. He only ever looked like this if you were around. It was special, what you had."

Jackson could feel his throat tightening up as memories overwhelmed him, but he tried his best to force them down.

"I did some of this from memory, but I took pictures of this happening for reference. I figured you might want them." Youngjae presses photos into Jackson's hand and leaves, and Jackson trembles a little. Youngjae's drawings are amazing and capture Mark perfectly. Jackson had belatedly realized after Mark's accident that he didn't have any pictures of the him, so he'd gone a few months without seeing the boy he loved. Seeing him now, in a perfect drawing, was a blow. To see him in actual pictures, from a memory that Jackson was sure to remember?

Jackson wasn't sure he could handle it.

But the temptation is too strong, and Jackson looks. He looks at the three pictures Youngjae handed him and silently cries. Mark is as handsome and perfect in these pictures as Jackson remembered him, and oh, how Jackson aches to touch him. He looks back up at Youngjae's life-size drawings, letting his emotions go.

-----------------------------

His parents are here, as well as JB's and Junior's. Youngjae is already crying, even though JB is staying over the summer. Junior alternates from feeling excited and feeling down, knowing an era of their lives is passing and changing. Things won't be the same. Jackson himself is feeling rather depressed. He tries to hide it by making jokes about how y he is in his graduation outfit, but Junior gives him a look that tells him he knows Jackson is only deflecting. Junior ends up hugging him 5 times instead of responding with words.

They go through the ceremony and his parents have just congratulated him when Jackson sees a slip of red. His mind immediately goes into overdrive, but then he kicks himself mentally. Mark wouldn't be here right now. (And then Jackson remembers that Mark would've been here, if it hadn't been for Jackson.)

They are all headed to a nice restaurant in the city to celebrate, but Jackson wants to change his clothes -- he's never been one for stuffy things. When he walks into the dorm, however, a familiar silhouette greets him.

"Hey."

No longer red hair, but brown. Same twinkling eyes, same special smile.

"Congratulations on graduating, Jackson."

Jackson can only stare, until he manages to blurt out, "What are you doing here?" Jackson wants to kick himself. That isn't really the question he wants to ask.

Mark continues to smile, but Jackson notices it falter a little after the question. "How can I miss my friends' graduation?"

Jackson's heart is beating rapidly, and he can't help but feel the disappointment in Mark's answer. Mark isn't here for him.

Mark moves closer, and Jackson feels like he could wrap himself in that scent for days.

"Besides, how else am I supposed to get your attention if you won't even text or call me?" Mark looks amused, but Jackson can feel the sadness and rebuke in Mark's words.

"You're better off..." Jackson began, but Mark cut him off. 

"If you finish that sentence with 'without me' I will break your nose." Mark is angry now, unhappy lines etched into his face. "Do you have any idea what it was like for me? I had physical pain, yes, but the pain of you not talking to me was ten times worse."

Jackson can't help but shudder a little, thinking about the pain Mark had to go through to heal. But Mark's words hit his heart. He had never thought about how Mark would feel if Jackson didn't respond. Had it really hurt Mark as much as it hurt Jackson?

"Not only did I lose the guy I loved, but I also lost my best friend." Mark's eyes were tearing up and Jackson yearned to wipe them away. "I almost begged the doctors to put me back in the coma."

Junior was right. Jackson was an idiot.

"I knew you were doing this out of some kind of noble idiocy, so I fought. I worked hard every day to get better, knowing I wanted to be able to get on a plane and walk back to you, even if you were avoiding me."

Mark moved so that he was right next to Jackson and grabbed his wrist. "If you don't want me anymore, then fine. But if you still like me and are purposefully keeping yourself away, then I won't accept it!" Mark pulled Jackson into his arms and kissed him.

As soon as lips touched lips, Jackson was drowning. Everything felt so good, so wonderful -- Jackson wrapped his arms around Mark tightly and kissed back repeatedly, until they both had to pull away for air, foreheads touching. 

Mark's hands rested on Jackson's neck as he panted, looking into Jackson's eyes. "Don't ever do that to me again, Jackson Wang, or I will kill you."

"What, kiss you or ignore you?" Jackson said cheekily. Mark hit his shoulder with his fist before grinning.

"I missed you so much."

Jackson sobered at those words. "Mark...I kept my distance because even though you didn't blame me, I blamed myself. I still do." Mark made disgruntled sounds, but Jackson shushed him. "No, hear me out. All my other relationships have crashed and burned because of me. I've been working really hard on fencing and keeping my grades up. I wanted to do better for you." Mark's eyes softened at that. "You needed time to heal and to figure out what you really wanted."

"Bull. You were already an amazing person before, Jackson."

"I'm not saying I was a bad influence. I know I wasn't. But I still wanted to be better, and I wanted to be sure that you even after everything, you still wanted me, too."

"I think it's all ridiculous, Jackson. You were already perfect to me." Jackson kissed Mark soundly after that.

The pair walked hand in hand back out towards where the group was waiting, near the parking lot. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I want you. That you're worth it." Mark kissed the back of Jackson's hand which gripped his own. "Remember, you're my home, Jackson Wang."

"I made a promise to never make you regret coming here. I'm going to keep that promise, so that I am always your home, Mark. I'll make it up to you."

Mark smiled that special smile, and kissed his cheek. Jackson pulled him in for a deeper kiss, stopping only for air, causing Mark to give him a small peck on the nose before they started walking again.

"Where did you plan on going when you graduated? I have my graduation next weekend in America."

"I don't care, as long as we're together."

"Hmm. There's lots of things we can do, together," Mark said huskily, smiling mischeviously. Jackson stopped in his tracks at what Mark was insinuating, his heart beating fast. Mark turned around and laughed, and Jackson started running toward him, intent in his eyes. Mark laughed even harder and ran, Jackson giving chase.

They joined their friends and family, with both boys as content as they'd ever been. A new chapter in their lives was starting, and they were eager to begin.

Together.

--------------------

A/N: Thank you for reading! I feel like I should've done more for the ending, but everything I thought of would've been a lot more...uh, mature...than the rest of the story, so I feel like it didn't fit the flow. T_T  I hope I didn't disappoint too badly.