With absolute certainty and certainly without hesitation, Sunggyu admits, “It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It was so beautiful it almost wasn’t real.”

Sunggyu’s seated across from Yongguk in the old cabin they were initially going to share, and they’re taking turns pouring themselves glasses of wine from an already half empty bottle. Sunggyu isn’t a big drinker, and wine isn’t his alcohol of choice, but truthfully the drink makes him feel just a little bit more like an adult, and if he doesn’t contribute, Yongguk is likely to finish the bottle himself.

Just as Yongguk reaches for his glass a violent sneeze seizes him. He gets his hand up quickly enough, but Sunggyu can almost imagine the germs now floating around them. It’s the hypochondriac in him.

“Sorry,” Yongguk apologizes, reaching for a nearby box of tissue.

“You okay?”

Yongguk nods. “I went to visit a friend of mine on the same day you took your magical journey into the land of mushrooms.”

“Very funny,” Sunggyu says flatly.

Yongguk blows his nose. “That bastard had a cold and I think it’s safe to say he gave it to me.”

Inching back a little, Sunggyu reminds, “I share a cabin with a baby and a kid. Keep your germs to yourself, you inconsiderate manchild.”

Yongguk delivers him an obscene gesture. “Tell me more of these glowing mushrooms.”

Sunggyu takes a sip of the bitter wine and ends up choking it down more than anything else. He insists, “I’ve really never seen anything like it before. If Woohyun and I hadn’t had a third, fourth, fifth and so on wheel, it would have been romantic. We might go back. And hey, you could possibly think about it yourself. Himchan might actually appreciate the gesture and prove once and for all that he’s not a robot.”

Snorting, Yonguk says, “No robot can kiss as good as he can, and if they are, mankind is in more trouble than it already is.”

“Think about it,” Sunggyu shrugs.

Yongguk makes a dismissive face. “I doubt it’s a good idea. Himchan and I are …”

“Complicated?” Sunggyu offers.

The look on Yongguk’s face is just depressing. “If only. I’d kill to be complicated. No, Sunggyu, we’re simple to a fault. He just wants to be friends with benefits. Nothing else.”

Yongguk sneezes again, seemingly miserable, but Sunggyu can’t tell if it’s from his cold or his situation with Himchan.

“Have you told him you want to be more than just friends with benefits?”

“And ruin what we have going now?” Yongguk asks. “I’m lucky to have what I do. I won’t risk that.”

Sunggyu downs the rest of the liquid in his glass. “I don’t know. Sometimes taking a risk is worth it. You could get burned, sure, but you also might get something better.”

Yongguk raises a skeptical eyebrow, then questions, “And where is your something better? After that exceptionally impressive display of possessive stupidity at the checkpoint most of us are convinced that he doesn’t let you out of arms length for anything other than a piss.”

Sunggyu is quick to point out, “I seem to remember you were pretty quick to jump into that impressive display of possessive stupidity.”

Eyes rolling, Yongguk adds a wave of his hand for good measure. “That was different. Woohyun was apparently confused as to what century we’re living in and acceptable relationship behavior, but his heart was in the right place. I was jumping in to help out my friend who was getting manhandled by some with a gun. I’m not claiming that was my brightest moment, but I had some good intentions behind it. I’ll gladly let you get roughed up next time, if you want.”

“What a budding friendship we have,” Sunggyu teases. Then he adds, “I meant to thank you for that, by the way. You’re not wrong that it was a stupid move on your part, but I appreciate it all the same.”

Yongguk blows his nose, then raises his glass in a salute. “No problem.”

“Anyway,” Sunggyu says, “apparently I’ve sparked a party war. If this were a year ago we’d probably have a reality show already. Sungjong’s birthday is in a couple of days and Hoya is determined to out party me. He’s recruited Woohyun to help him on the condition that for Dongwoo’s party in November, Sungyeol and I get to team up. It’s getting very intense at this point.”

Yongguk gives a laugh, but it quickly turns into a cough that has Sunggyu frowning.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Sure,” Yongguk promises. “And that’s hilarious by the way. You do realize you’re going to set something off here. Other people are going to be compelled to keep up, too.”

Sunggyu shrugs. “We don’t have jobs or much to do with ourselves here. At least not yet. Considering the kind of trouble some people could be stirring up, this isn’t that bad.”

“Fair enough,” Yunguk agrees. Then he asks, “Are you hiring yourself out yet? Because I could use a party guru in a couple of months. Do you have an hourly rate?”

Feeling a little bold from the wine, Sunggyu suggests, “I don’t think you can afford me.”

“Touché,” Yongguk throws back with a wide grin.

Half an hour later Yongguk is complaining of a headache that Sunggyu is completely attributing to the wine he’s mainly drunk the majority of. Sunggyu gives him a parting wave, promises to stop by soon, and heads out.

Roughly twelve hours later Sunggyu is bolting awake from a fairly deep sleep. He’s stretched out on the bed he’s sharing with both Dongwoo and Woohyun currently, and he’s completely disoriented as he fights to get free of the arm that’s been wrapped around his stomach.

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu says, shoving at him not too kindly. “Get off.” He throws his legs over the side of the bed and hears it again.

“What’s going on?” Dongwoo asks, squinting in the darkness of the room.

“It’s Jiyeon,” Sunggyu says. He’s already at the bedroom door and pulling it open before Woohyun is even aware of what’s going on.

The sight he’s greeted with is a brightly lit living area, and a pacing Sungyeol. Hoya is sitting tense on the edge of the sofa while Jiyeon screams loudly against the material of his shirt. He’s rubbing a big hand across her back but it doesn’t seem to be doing much.

“Problem?” Sunggyu asks, making his way more fully into the room. Jiyeon is exceptionally good about sleeping through the entire night. She’s no longer a baby and can handle a full eight hours just like the rest of them. However once in a while she’ll absolutely refuse to cooperate and they’ll have nothing but an annoyed toddler on their hands.

“It’s probably nothing,” Sungyeol says, worrying his bottom lip.

It only takes one extra step into the living room for Sunggyu to make out the heavy red tint to Jiyeon’s face. It’s more than the regular shade her face takes on during a temper tantrum. This is something different.

“Fever?” Sunggyu asks, trying to get a good feel at Jiyeon’s forehead. She responds by doing her best to bite his hand off.

“It’s not that high,” Hoya says, reaching with a spare hand to pick up the nearby baby friendly thermometer. “We definitely got a fever reading the last time Sungyeol and I took it, but it’s a low grade. I’d guess she’s just more uncomfortable than anything else.”

Terror flushes up Sunggyu’s neck as Sungjong comes stumbling into the living room, rubbing at his eyes. Sunggyu says in a shaking voice, “I went to visit Yongguk today. He had a cough and a runny nose.”

It’s not lost on Sunggyu that Jiyeon’s nose looks tender like Hoya’s been wiping at it for a while.

He almost jumps out of his skin as Sungyeol puts a comforting hand on Sunggyu’s shoulder and says, “I doubt you brought anything back to her. I took her to another play date and one of the kids was a little stuffy. She probably picked it up from him. There seems to be something going around. Stop looking so pale.”

Sunggyu’s palms feels clammy and he has to trek into the kitchen for a glass of water before he can calm his raging heartbeat.

From behind Sunggyu, Sungyeol reminds, “Kids get sick all the time. Don’t you remember the first time we met? She had a cold then, too. I’ll admit, this is a little too soon after for my likes, but it’s not uncommon. She’s building up her immune system. As much as I hate to see her like this, this is good for her. She’ll be better for it in the end.”

Sunggyu shakes his head. “This is horrible.” Dongwoo and Woohyun are the last to arrive, but the two of them seem to have the best luck at calming Jiyeon. She whimpers as Woohyun cradles her in his arms, but she’s responding to Dongwoo’s funny faces and weird sounds.

“I keep thinking,” Sungyeol says quietly, “if we were still in Seoul I’d have made my mom go get a doctor already. Or at last call the hospital advice line.” He lets out a low exhale. “If she’s not feeling better by the time the sun comes up, I’ll go get an emergency day pass for us and take her up to the nearest clinic. There’s one not too far from here, and the doctor actually speaks several languages, Korean included.”

“I’ll go with you,” Sunggyu says, leaving no room for disagreement.

It’s a long wait until morning. Jiyeon drops off around an hour later, but she sleeps fitfully and is clearly uncomfortable. However what Sunggyu concentrates on is how her fever is steadily dropping into a more normal range, and the leakage of her nose is receding. It seems like a simple overnight bug by the time Sungyeol passes out from exhaustion.

“He was really worried,” Hoya says.

They’re the last two awake, but with Jiyeon looking like she’ll sleep or a while more, Sunggyu has no plans to stay up. He’s already pulled the blinds in the living room against the morning light by the time he tells Hoya, “It’s not too late for us to try and get a couple of hours of sleep ourselves.” He gives Sungyeol’s sleeping form a once over, then reaches for a nearby blanket to drape over his shoulders. “He’s more like Jiyeon’s dad now. But I think we all understand the panicked feeling when she isn’t at her best.”

Sunggyu settles down next to Woohyun in the bedroom, spoons behind him and is asleep before he can think on the subject anymore.

Jiyeon’s bug doesn’t make a return appearance and Sungjong’s birthday goes off without a hitch a few days later. Sunggyu still thinks his party is better, but he lets Woohyun and Hoya have bragging rights for the moment.

In fact, Sunggyu doesn’t think of Jiyeon’s bug, or even Yongguk’s cold again until he feels a worryingly familiar tickling at the back of his own throat at the beginning of the next week.

Which he promptly ignores.

Because Sunggyu does not get sick. He’s not he type in the least bit. Sunggyu can probably count on one hand the amount of times he’s been seriously sick in his life. His immune system, in comparison to others, is phenomenal.

So this tickle that turns into the constant need to clear his throat by noon, and a cough by night time, is not him getting sick.

“Are you okay?” Woohyun asks him when he merely picks at his dinner. He’s barely eaten a thing all day long, but he’s not hungry in the least bit. And every time he puts food in his mouth, it tastes more like ash than anything else.

“Fine,” Sunggyu snaps. He knows it’s too harsh, and Woohyun doesn’t deserve the tone, but he can’t help it. He’s feeling exhausted all the sudden, and there’s an odd ache in his bones. He just wants to lay down and sleep, but admitting this will be akin to admitting he’s sick. Which he will not do.

“Soo-rry,” Woohyun eases out.

Sunggyu pinches the bridge of his nose and says, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s been a long day.”

Dongwoo cuts in, “You look tired. Do you want me to take first watch?”

Sunggyu groans. He’s completely forgotten that he has the first four hour shift tonight. But it all seems kind of pointless now, and he confesses, “I think it’s time to stop that. Honestly, I don’t think there’s enough instability here to cause any kind of crime.”

Hoya disagrees immediately, “Not every crime is committed out of a necessity of some sort. Some people just like to stir up trouble. And considering we have a couple of kids here, I think it’s a good idea of we keep on with it.”

“Fine.” Sunggyu gets to his feet and honest to god, the world tilts around him. Hoya and Woohyun are almost completely horizontal for a second until he regains his equilibrium and tries to shake off the vertigo. “And thanks, Dongwoo, but I’ll be fine.” He stumbles his way to the bathroom, locks the door behind him and looks at his reflection in the mirror.

There’s no wonder as to why Woohyun was asking him if he was okay. Sunggyu’s face is almost that of a stranger’s. He’s so pale even his lips have gone colorless, and the dark circles under his eyes leave nothing to be desired. A shaking, careful hand to his forehead indicates that he’s hot, even if he feels chilly.

This . The last thing he needs is to be sick right now.

He manages to keep his distance from almost everyone, especially Jiyeon and Sungjong who are more susceptible to catching what he has, for the remainder of the night. He’s being cold and distant from Woohyun, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

“I’m going to go to bed now,” Woohyun says, standing awkwardly next to Sunggyu at around eleven. Sunggyu knows he’s waiting for some kind of goodnight kiss, but by now Sunggyu is absolutely certain he’s caught Yongguk’s cold, and giving it to Woohyun is not an option.

“Okay,” he offers awkwardly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Woohyun gives him a confused look, then asks, “Are you mad at me or something?”

Sunggyu can feel the drip down his nose before it even happens. He waves a hand over his shoulder as he heads into the kitchen for a napkin. “No. Go to bed, okay? You look tired.” Woohyun doesn’t look tired, but Sunggyu really needs him to go away. Maybe, after resting for the night, Sunggyu will feel a little better in the morning. It’s the only hope he has.

His watch is meant to be four hours, with Hoya taking over through their regular rotation at around three when Sunggyu wakes him up. And for the first hour Sunggyu is content to simply sit on the sofa with a mountain of blankets drawn up around him. He’s so cold, his fingers feeling like ice cubes, but he can feel his face flush with every few breaths. It’s a horrible combination.

And his cough’s picked up. He’s able to smother it for the most part, but by the time the clock clicks over to two, he’s having very real fears that he’ll wake someone with the violent sounds.

This is how he ends up out on the porch at two-thirty in the morning. It’s September now, almost a full week in, and while the days are still warm, the nights are cold. But the cold feels great to Sunggyu on his face, and maybe he’ll stop sweating so much.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, at least not half an hour before his shift is over. He certainly doesn’t mean to fall asleep on the porch, exposed to the chilly night air as his blanket slips away due to his tossing and turning on the small bench underneath the front window.

He also doesn’t expect that Woohyun is smarter than Sunggyu gives him credit for.

“Sunggyu? Gyu? Are you okay?”

Feeling disoriented and uneasy, Sunggyu cracks his eyes open to find that he’s somehow slid down to the floor of the porch, his blanket is tangled between his legs, and Woohyun is leaning over him with a worried expression.

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu says, and means to add even more, but he’s coughing soon after, and then fighting for breath.

“Hoya!” Woohyun calls out sharply. “I found him!”

“,” Hoya hisses the second he’s out on the porch with them. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Sunggyu says, trying to fight the hands on him. “Leave me alone.”

He doesn’t miss the look Woohyun sends Hoya as he says, “He’s obviously sick. I thought he looked bad at dinner.”

Because Sunggyu is not a dainty little flower, it takes Woohyun and Hoya to get him up, but between them they move him quickly into the cabin where Sungyeol and Dongwoo are awake and sleepily waiting.

“I’m fine,” Sunggyu snaps out as he’s placed down on his bed.

No one is paying the slightest bit of attention to him, obviously, as Hoya announces he’s going to find the thermometer, Sungyeol starts stripping off Sunggyu’s sweaty clothes, and Woohyun presses a cold cloth to Sunggyu’s overheated forehead.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?” Woohyun demands, the back of his hand feeling around Sunggyu’s face. “You’re so hot.”

“Flattery,” Sunggyu says, having to close his eyes. Thus far he’s only been getting vertigo while standing up, but now, even laying down, the world is spinning around him. And it’s making him feel like he may have to throw up.

“No time for jokes,” Woohyun chastises, swatting him a little on the arm. “Now fess up, you’ve been feeling sick all day, haven’t you?”

Throat dry almost painfully so, Sunggyu croaks out, “Yeah.”

From the doorway, Dongwoo asks, “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

There are a million reasons why, starting with Jiyeon and ending with how stubborn he is and how little he likes to be taken care of.

“Sungyeol,” Hoya says, startling all of them. He moves lightening quick, taking Sungyeol by the arm and pulling him towards the door. “You can’t be here.”

“Why not?” Sungyeol demands, and he’s still got one of Sunggyu’s socks in hand.

Hoya pushes him a little faster, gesturing for Dongwoo to get out of the way. “Because more than the rest of us you handle Jiyeon all day long, and her immune system is still recovering from that cold she had a short while ago. You can’t be in contact with Sunggyu when he’s this sick, not without the risk of passing it along to her.”

With a frown, Woohyun’s face hovers over Sunggyus and he questions, “Didn’t you say that Yongguk had a cold? And you went to see him. Do you think you picked it up from him?”

Dongwoo adds, “Sungyeol said one of the kids from Jiyeon’s play group had a cold, too. Lots of people have colds right now. There’s a bug going around.”

Sunggyu gives Woohyun a shove away as he turns to cough, trying to hide it between the sheets and pillow. “I’m just sick. It’s not a big deal.”

Woohyun scoffs. “I found you passed out on the porch. Don’t tell me this isn’t a big deal.”

“I wasn’t passed out.” Sunggyu glares. “I was resting.”

“Here,” Hoya says, coming back through the door with a thermometer, “stick this under your tongue.”

This is what he hates. This is what Sunggyu hoped to avoid. All the fussing. All the worrying.

“It’s just a cold,” Sunggyu tries to get out, but he’s feeling more and more sleepy. The ache in his bones is only growing, making it painful to even move around.

He hears Hoya say, after slipping he thermometer from his mouth, “He’s got a fever for sure.” But mostly he’s already falling into a much needed sleep.

“He’s right, you know,” Hoya says, his voice helping to sooth Sunggyu as he drops off. “It is just a cold. It may seem bad now, but with rest and plenty of liquids, he’ll be fine in a couple of days. Don’t look like he has the plague, Woohyun. He’s going to be fine.”

The mattress shifts and Sunggyu feels something warm press along his side.

Dongwoo points out, “If you get that close to him, you’re probably going to get sick, too.”

“I don’t care,” Woohyun mumbles. “I knew something was wrong with him but I let it go. I’m not doing that now.”

Hoya sighs loud and deeply, and it’s the last thing Sunggyu remembers.

In the morning, with Sunggyu feeling just as crummy as the previous night, his so called friends ply him with liquids. They bother him endlessly when he’s awake about how he’s feeling, and when he does manage to sleep, it’s never for very long before the aches in his body wake him up.

Sunggyu doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or not, but Woohyun doesn’t leave his side. He helps Sunggyu to the bathroom, feeds him is soup, changes his cold compress, rubs his legs when they burn with aches, and repeatedly tells him how stupid he is for hiding his illness.

“Didn’t want to get you sick,” Sunggyu confesses nasally.

Woohyun gives him a strange look, then pointedly kisses his forehead. “You’re so soft under that hard exterior.”

Sunggyu is grumpy for at least twenty minutes afterwards, maybe out of principle alone.

Just before dinner, which is more soup to Sunggyu’s distain, Dongwoo reports in, “At least twenty people are down with your bug, Sunggyu. I guess a couple of people visited one of the other civilian areas a couple days ago, and brought back whatever cold is going around there.”

Sunggyu, peaking out from beneath his mound of blankets, asks, “Yonggyuk?”

“Already better,” Dongwoo says sitting on the edge of the bed. “And considering he got sick a couple days ahead of you, you’re probably going to be good, or at last better, by tomorrow.”

“Goodie,” Sunggyu grounds out.

“Thanks, Dongwoo,” Woohyun laughs, patting him on the back. “Now let me take care of grandpa Gyu before he starts yelling about the kids being too loud and the kind of respect that they showed for their elders in his day.”

Sunggyu kicks out at Woohyun, clearly catching him off guard from the way he stumbles. “You can just go away. I’m going to sleep some more.”

Dongwoo pulls open the bedroom door and says, “I’ll say hi to Sungjong and Jiyeon for you.”`

“Me too?” Woohyun asks, his fingers pushing through Sunggyu’s sweat clumped hair. It must be love if he’s willing to touch and even snuggle with someone who’s a living sick furnace. “You want me to go?”

Gruffly, like it hurts him a little to say it, Sunggyu shakes his head and mumbles. “No.” It’s worth it for the smile that breaks out on Woohyun’s face.

There’s a doctor, brought up from one of the more former metropolitan areas, the kind that are just big civilian holding zones, to check out everyone with so much as a cold or headache. He’s pretty old, a little deaf in one ear, and Sunggyu does not entertain the idea of him for one second. Mostly because he’s feeling better by the time the doctor makes his rounds.

The day that the doctor arrives, he almost feels completely well again. The ache that’s been clustered up in his bones is gone, and so is his fever. The chills have subsided to the point where he’s content enough to just wear a heavy jacket, and his nose is no longer running. His immune system seems to have successfully fought off the cold, and Sunggyu breathes a sign of relief.

It’s not that he thinks this island is so removed from society that it doesn’t have a hospital, because there are actually two on the island, along with smaller clinics, but the now isn’t like the before. Getting sick has more serious implications, and medicine is a lot harder to come by. It’s not like it’s being manufactured anymore.

The whole train of thought makes Sunggyu more than a little nervous. What if one of them gets seriously sick? What if any of them needs surgery? What about vaccinations and people with asthma or allergies? God, what about people who have diabetes and require insulin to live? What about the people who need modern medicine to have a shot at life?

“I hope you don’t think you’re going out there,” Woohyun says when he sees Sunggyu in the living room, face pressed against the window as he watches the rain fall outside. He’s been cooped up in the bedroom like a convalescent for so long that he’s happy to simply mingle in with the others.

“I hope you don’t think you can stop me from doing anything I want to,” Sunggyu returns, keeping his eyes on the outside world. It’s been raining for three days straight now, which is a little unusual for September, but probably just means they’re going to have a very wet autumn and winter. Sunggyu is not looking forward to being cooped up inside with Jiyeon and Sungjong for the next five or six months.

Woohyun catches him from behind, hugging his back. He wraps his arms around Sunggyu’s waist and replies, “I will pick you up and throw you over my shoulder if I even see you look at the front door again. You may think you’re better, but I can hear you snuffling a little. It’ll be back to the bedroom for you if you push it.”

The thought of Woohyun manhandling him should be infuriating, and he’s sure to elbow Woohyun for good measure … but it’s also a little hot. “You couldn’t pick me up if you tried. And I’ll break your arm if you do decide to try.”

Woohyun kisses his cheek. “So violent, Gyu.”

The cabin door slams open and Sungyeol rushes in, shrugging off his wet jacket right away, breathing heavily like he’s run the whole way. He lets Jiyeon down the second that he’s gotten his shoes off, and if he’s drenched, then it’s only because she’s completely dry.

“Everything go okay?” Hoya asks from the living room. He’s sprawled out on the sofa working on a crossword puzzle with Songjong. By the looks of it neither of them is making much progress with it, but they seem to be enjoying themselves.

Jiyeon totters over to Dongwoo who immediately begins blowing raspberries on her stomach, as Sungyeol says, “I got there a little late so I had to wait for the doctor for a while, but when it was our turn he said she’s perfectly fine. He thinks she’s just a little more susceptible to catching bugs, and to watch out for that, but that it’s nothing to worry over.”

Sunggy swears he can almost feel the relief sweeping through the room.

“And,” Sungyeol drawls out, moving his jacket to the coat wrack by the door, “The weather is so bad he’ll be staying in town for the night. So it’s not too late for you to go get checked out, Sunggyu, if you decide to stop being so stubborn.”

Sunggyu sets him with his most stubborn face on purpose. “I’m perfectly fine now. I had a bug, it’s over and done with. I’m even eating solid foods, mom. It’s going to be okay.”

Sungyeol rolls his eyes.

“You really feel that much better?” Woohyun asks, his hand at the small of Sunggyu’s back.

“Not one hundred percent,” Sunggyu admits, “but good enough to let you kiss me.” His voice drops for the last part, but he may as well have announced it to the world, because several hours later he and Woohyun have kicked both Dongwoo and Hoya out of the bedroom and are necking like teenagers.

Dongwoo shouts through the closed door, “We don’t have that many sets of clean sheets, and it’s almost laundry day! Think about your life choices!”

Woohyun presses Sunggyu down onto the mattress with a grin and never ending kisses, his lips sliding along Sunggyu’s jaw, his neck, and then down to his chest.

“I hated that you were sick,” Woohyun says, leaning back up to capture Sunggyu’s mouth. “Hated it.”

Sunggyu snorts, “Hated that I was sick, or hated that I wouldn’t let you kiss me?”

Woohyun stretches across Sunggyu, his hand cupping the side of his face. “I hated that you were sick. I kissed you anyway whenever you passed out.”

Sunggyu can’t help laughing a little, or dragging a hand up across the back of Woohyun’s head, his hand catching short strands of hair. “Stop stealing kisses. You don’t have to steal them.”

God, loving Woohyun has turned him into such a sap. Sunggyu can barely believe himself right now.

“I know you’re still feeling a little under the weather,” Woohyun says, his head resting down on Sunggyu’s bare chest. “So we’re not going to do anything tonight. Just cuddle.”

Sunggyu puts a hand on Woohyun’s back, comfortable with the warmth spreading over him. “Then why did you traumatize our friends and lock the door?”

Woohyun reaches for a nearby blanket and says, “Because sometimes I just want to be alone with you. And as much as I love them, I’m in love with you. They get in the way of that.”

“Sap.”

Sunggyu lets his eyes close and takes a deep breath. There’s an odd burning in his lungs, something he’s never felt before, but it’s entirely possible this is his heart actually swelling with this strange concept called love. And in this moment it makes Sunggyu think of Yunho, and how things should be. Even with their parents gone, Sunggyu should be getting to confide in Yunho how much Woohyun means to him, and how much he really wants them to make it.

Maybe he just really wants his big brother.

“Sleep,” Woohyun urges, sounding halfway there himself. “I’ve got a heavy make-out session planned for the morning.”

“Of course,” Sunggyu says, and almost knows it the second Woohyun is gone. Falling asleep himself is something more difficult however, though not from a lack of being tired. As the minutes tick by the burning in his lungs only seems to grow, and this time he knows it isn’t simply just love. It’s getting more and more difficult to breathe, and eventually Woohyun’s weight on top of him is too much.

When he does fall asleep, into a fitful one at that, it’s as he’s taking in too big gasps of air, feeling that something is very wrong.

He can’t breathe. He’s drowning. And then he’s screaming.

Only, it takes air to scream, and he can’t get any in, so there is no screaming. At least not from him.

Then where’s the screaming coming from? He can hear someone screaming, he can hear the desperate and frantic shouts, and heavy pounding, and it seems like the walls are shaking, bowing and almost breaking.

A hand cups the back of his neck, trying to support him, but he’s flailing out of control, pushing out at the force bearing over him, endless in his desperation to breathe. He just needs to breathe. Why can’t he breathe?

“Sunggyu!”

His eyes slam open as he claws at his own throat, and the bedroom door crashes open. Hoya slams through at an impressive rate, the lock busted on the floor.

“What the is going on?” Hoya demands.

Sunggyu tries to curl to his side. He’s suffocating, and no matter how hard he gulps in the air, none of it seems to be getting to his lungs.

“I don’t know!” Woohyun screams, trying to gather Sunggyu up into his arms. “But he can’t breathe!”

Sunggyu swears his visions is starting to grey around the edges. Hoya clicks the light on and Sunggyu reels physically. It’s too bright, it’s painfully bright, but it’s bit of a blessing because it distracts from the lack of oxygen for a half second.

“Holy ,” Hoya says. He presses his blissfully cold hand across Sunggyu’s forehead, but snatches it back a half second later. “He’s burning up, Woohyun!”

Sunggyu’s chest hitches. This is it. He knows this is the end.

“--go now!”

“--need help with--”

“--hospital?”

The voices of more people blend together but do nothing to drown out the thumping of Sunggyu’s pulse in his head. Is it slowing? How fast does heart failure occur after suffocation? If this is where and how he dies, he wants it to be fast. He needs it to be.

He’s flying. He feels himself lift off the bed and his feet hang free.

“I’ve got you!” Woohyun shouts and Sunggyu hears him clearly. “You’re going to be okay!”

Sunggyu seriously doubts this. His vision is tunneling. He’s ….

Wet.

He’s wet.

And cold.

The sensations take a second to reach him, but as he continues to gasp for air like a fish on dry land, getting nothing no matter how hard he tries, he realizes the wetness and cold is from being outside. He’s flying through the air in a rainstorm. He’s outside and he’s free.

It seems like he flies forever, blackness all around him, raindrops stinging his skin almost like acid.

He lands hard on something and apparently his flight is over. The rain stops, too.

“--just woke up like--”

“--been sick before--”

Sunggyu strains to make out what’s happening above him. Woohyun. He sees Woohyun, and a rain soaked Hoya who’s hovering behind him.

“--precursor to something more serious--”

Fingers lace with Sunggyu’s and he sees tears on Dongwoo’s face. Where has Dongwoo come from? Did he fly with Sunggyu?

“--something! He can’t breathe and--”

Sunggyu tries to tell Dongwoo not to cry. After all they’ve been through, crying just seems pointless now.

“--nails are blue--”

People are arguing now, shouting furiously with each other as an older man leans over Sunggyu, his hands moving deceptively fast for his age.

“--get Kenji right--”

Sunggyu’s back arches off the table as he gives his last strain for breath. He tries harder to breathe than he has ever tried for something in his life, and it’s all for nothing. Deflating, his hand falls limp in Dongwoo’s grip and he closes his eyes. He can’t hear his pulse anymore, can’t feel much of anything, and there’s a comfort in knowing this is the end.

All in all, suffocation is still better than turning into a zombie. Dying isn’t the hard part.

It’s the waiting to die that’s hard.